Posts by larienkoci

Biological effects:

When my first child was 3, I had tubal ligation. I have not had any complications with the surgery since the initial healing. I got terrible gas pain from where they filled my abdomen and the worst gas pain was around my lower neck/shoulder close to my collar bone. It took several days to work this out of my body. The surgery site was so small that it was hardly noticeable.

Emotional effects:

95% of the time, I have absolutely no regret - I enjoy intimacy with my husband and love not having the worry about BC failure. I found out when my child was 5 that he is autistic. If I'd known before tubal ligation I would have delayed the procedure so that I could have given him a sibling just to have someone to call family after I am dead. However, being an only child, I really only wanted one child. After divorce and remarrying, I would have liked to give my second husband a biological child of his own but he considers my son his son and he is a great dad. His parents were NOT happy to find out that he would not be bearing a biological child of his own. I see when we are around family with newborns that desire; that caring; and the joy of a newborn in my husband ...that is when I think of what I denied him --before I knew him -- the most. For his side of things, he said he never wanted kids of his own (this is one of the reasons for his divorce) but he is very thankful that I made him a father. I've asked about the baby thing and he is seems very unaffected by it as he accepted this about me before we married. 

I am not sure what's going on but I will share what my MIL told me (she's a doctor by the way)...

first thing in the morning before you eat anything down a 12 oz glass of water in one gulp. it works for me and a few others in the family have verified it works for them so give it a try...it can't hurt!

When I purchased a personal trainer they always sent home a banana so you might try that to ward of any dramatic hunger you may experience.

good luck on meeting your goals. I am past 40 and it seems that nothing I do contributes to weight loss. I have gotten so frustrated that I have tried to just say the heck with it but here I am still trying. I do hope you have much more success than myself!

Original Post by thesuperbex:

Original Post by larienkoci:

If you are happy with yourself, these negative terms shouldn't matter.

Society in general is negative toward women. Think about it, when music was first censored, the song what is is like by everlast, had the word 45 (referring to a gun) and balls (referring to men's genitalia) censored out, but the word whore was not.

The hiphop music commonly refers to hos and bi***es - thinking of kid rock's line "your ho is getting f***ed in the face while you are out working on a murder case"

It is pretty messed up the way things are so I wouldn't put yourself through any negative space due to the decisions you are making to find yourself and the perfect one. I don't see it is anyone's business outside of you. You have the option to share your stories/stats ONLY if YOU want to do so. Otherwise, if others opinions make you uncomfortable kiss but don't tell.

 

Listening to the context of that word being used in the song, I don't this it should be censored.   

You feel okay that the words 45 and balls were censored but not whore...I am not okay with that if you are going to take out 45 you should take out whore.

I have another hurtful situation too...

This involves my DH who's always telling me how beautiful/sexy I am. I believe that he is attracted to me and we make a wonderful pair but sometimes the things he says cut me the wrong way even though I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, he'd never intentionally hurt me. But here it is, a hurtful phrase that will forever live in the back of my mind....

We were reminiscing about the first time we'd met and how long we'd known each other. I made the comment that when I first met him I thought he was attractive. But, never in a million years would I'd believe that we would end up together as we were both married when we met.

His reply...I am not sure why he'd even divulge it but he did...

I am sorry, hun, when we first met, I really didn't find you attractive.

My internal reaction: Really? So what changed...

He continues, after knowing you I am so in love with you, so attracted to you, I never knew life could be this happy.

WTF, I think to myself, knowing me, that is like someone saying "you have a pretty face" and the unsaid part (if only you weren't so fat)....I didn't say anything though, thinking best not to pry for more information that I really don't want anyway.

Months later it occurred to me...When we first met, he was still in love with first soul mate - but absolutely miserable with his wife. This soul mate he was pining for was italian, dark brown hair, olive skin, tall maybe a bit underweight. He was using her as his measuring stick for beauty. I am polar opposite of her, blonde hair, blue eyes, pale skin and short...very very short not to mention 15 lbs overweight!

Understanding why he wasn't attracted at first doesn't keep the pain from resurfacing from time to time.

No! Marriage doesn't suck! My husband is my very best friend. We enjoy each other very much. Sure, there are brief periods of discontent but 90% of the time we truly enjoy each other. We've been together for 11 years and it doesn't feel like 2 years have passed.

The real key to marriage success is communication. If you can break through the barriers that keep good communication from flowing, I'd say that your marriage can be salvaged. Marriage counseling would be a terrific place to start working on that!

If everything else fails, remember that everyone's situation is different and YOU get to chose to be happy or sad. You can make the best of a bad situation or you can change the bad situation. There really isn't much choice other than that but if you truly love someone you can find a way to make things brighter. And MOST of all in this sentiment, remember you CANNOT change or control another person you can only change and control how YOU react to them.

I recall being mad at hubby because he went somewhere with a friend and then 2 weeks later wouldn't go where I wanted to. He seen it as I was mad about him going with his friend or that I don't like his friend when I was really mad about not feeling important enough for him to care enough to do what I wanted. So, just keep this in mind when working out communications and be receptive so the air can be cleared. Both of you may learn a lot about the other and find that true happiness that you had when you met.

On the other side, I've been married to the wrong person before and it did suck. We couldn't talk and the last year was just arguing. I stayed that last year because I had a disabled kid. But getting out was truly best for me and my child. Luckily his dad is very much still part of his life and my ex and I are friends and communicate much better than we ever did as a married couple. Heck, my current husband, my ex husband and I take my child to his extra curricular activities together like swim meets and basketball games. We exchange pictures and support each other for the sake of my child. My child has truly benefited from us being able to do things as his support unit. My ex sees my kiddo for 3 hours on Monday/Wednesday (time he gets off work until 1 hour before bedtime) and then every other weekend Fri/Sat/Sun. Whenever something special is going on, we cooperate and let the other have the child for that event. Vacations are never a problem either regardless of "whose turn it is". We've worked things out and my kid seems to be the happiest of all involved. So if your only reason for staying is the kids and you are fighting in front of the kids all the time...maybe staying isn't the best option.

You have nothing to fear. You are 15, you have a long time before you have to worry about issues of old age. The best thing is that as you age you also gain grace and poise which will serve you well in aging issues. I have always been a D cup, except for pregnancy when I became a EE cup. Afterward, your body does change. Even if you decide to remain childless, gravity will hold a place. Here is the secret though, if deflated breast are a total nightmare for you, modern medical miracles will allow you to undergo elective surgery and have your breasts returned to your 15 year old standing/perky image. After gravity is through with me, I do plan on getting both a lift and reduction. I am not worried about my current situation because it is temporary. Have no fear, this problem is so minor in your daily routine by the time it happens, your attitude will be that ..."I guess I should get something done about this next year or whenever I have some time."

You cannot change the future and exercise doesn't stop the supporting ligaments from dropping your chest to the floor, so there's really no need to worry. To slow this process but NOT eliminate it, make sure you always wear a really good support bra and a heavy duty exercise bra during any activity that has bounce.

Good luck!

I have a few friends that are significantly overweight and they are motified of going to the gym and working out next to thin people. The thought of their fat giggling next to a trim person is too daunting for them. These folks are very sweet, have low self esteem, and constantly worry that everyone in the world is judging them. The smallest things can send them into a downward spiral (example: someone looks at them wrong in their perception they feel that look is because they are fat). They need extra support to get through the mental aspects of being in a gym and extra support to work through the issues that got them to the place they are right now. With this in mind, I think having an obese-only gym is a terrific idea because it will give them sanctuary where they can get the help they need without fear. And with any luck, in a few months or a couple of years, they will graduate to a "regular" gym.

This should help

http://www.muscleandstrength.com/tools/bmr-an d-daily-calorie-calculator.html

it asks for things like waist circumference so you will need to find out what your BMR is with the 1 hour of exercise then subtract 500 calories for 1 lb of weightloss per week and if the number is below 1200, do NOT eat below 1200.