Posts by lilcletus543

Yup...

I'm going to miss having a gaunt face honestly... but I keep bingeing and so it's not quite as gaunt as it was 3 weeks ago.  You're right though.  I shouldn't sacrifice my body for my face.  I feel like an idiot for all of it.  I played football last year as a lineman, I was the skinniest, muscular lineman and I weighed 205 ish and had like 8 % body fat ish.  In 3 months I lost 20 pounds of that from restricting what I ate, and about 99% of that was muscle loss... all for the face... it did work though.  Now I'm 175, a lot scrawnier, with just about no fat, but still with freakin big cheeks (in my mind).  I realize that I thought they were fat a month ago, until I saw a picture of myself recently from a month ago, and there was nothing on my cheeks... now they've plumped a little, and I'm scared that it will only continue, b/c that's the whole reason I did this.  So I'll be scrawny, fat-faced, and worse off than I was before.

 Sorry for rambling.  Thanks for the feedback though. 

Gotcha.  My question was actually aimed at dm84 before about being less preoccupied with looks.

 But about hte nutritionist, I've seen one, and she's expensive and didn't really help.  Most of the helpful advice I got was eat somewhere between three and five meals a day at regular times, exercise about an hour a day most days, and don't adjust workouts to how much I've eaten or anything like that... I dunno.  I think I've really just wanted somebody to relate to about this. 

So caliguy, have you lost alot of weight from dieting and are trying to maintain?

To hope333---it does sort of have to do with looks, but it's because we've attached some kind of meaning to the looks... I dunno I see your point.  I had sort of a flashback tonight of the way I used to think about life before food took over, and I can see how food has become a coping mechanism to deal with it.  I guess tonight I'm sad that food has become life to me... when it used to be one aspect of life... I dunno.  I'm seeing a counselor, and I've talked to my family a little about it, and my counselor's trying to get together a group.

I've kinda given up on the idea of dating for now at least... so it's not an issue as much with looks.  So caliguy--I can relate to that... it's mostly because guy friends of mine have criticized my face.  It's stupid and they were just trying to rip me but it's what's set me off into this hell of the world of food.  I actually have a guy friend to talk to about this stuff, he's in a church group thing I'm in and might be my roommate next year... but he definitely has an overeating problem.  So we relate on this level somewhat.  But anyways... there are guys who understand this stuff.  Just not alot of them.

I don't think my body craves 6 or 7000 a day...I wasn't even hungry at dinner time.  Food is my first (and really only) response to any kind of unpleasant feeling.  Especially the anxiety I get when I eat too much.  So I fix it by **** eating??? What the hell?? Sorry.  I just hate that I do this to myself.

Here's the estimate for the day: (this my be a little bit over or under)

Mon, Feb 11 2008GradeGramsCalsClementine Tangerines - CitrusA-8440Large Egg - All-Natural Eggs with Omega-3C+200280Kraft Natural Shredded Cheese - Fat Free Cheddar - Shredded CheeseA-4268Onions - RawA4519Milk, Nonfat, Fluid - With Added Vitamin A (Fat Free Or Skim)A3111Sweetpotato - Cooked, Baked In Skin, Without SaltA144130Cinnamon, GroundA513Specialty Items Sugar Free Breakfast Syrup - Smucker's3116Kraft String-Ums Cheese - Mozzarella - String CheeseC2880Milk, Nonfat, Fluid - With Added Vitamin A (Fat Free Or Skim)A24583Puddings, Kraft, Jell-o Brand Fat Free Sugar Free Instant Reduced Calorie Pudding & Pie Filling ChocolateB-2268Nutter Butter Granola BarB-28100Nutter Butter Granola BarB-28100LEAN POCKETS Brand Turkey, Broccoli & CheeseC252270Mrs. Freshley's CupcakesB51140Caramels Sugar-Free62258Star Crunch Comic Snacks31146Swiss Cakes62270Toaster Pastries, KELLOGG, KELLOGG'S POP TARTS, StrawberryC+104410Pizza - With CheeseB176393Cinnamon Sugared Donut Holes1359Cake, Yellow, Commercially Prepared - With Chocolate FrostingC-28106Ice Creams, VanillaC144289Blissful Blueberry Cobbler760Deluxe Cake Mix White - Cake, Cupcake & Cookie MixesC78315Frosting Vanilla Ready-To-Spread - Baking Decorations/Icing, Food Coloring, etc.32130Mission 6" Low Carb Whole Wheat Tortillas, 10ct.2880Beef, Ground, 80% Lean Meat / 20% Fat, Crumbles - Cooked, Pan-brownedB-149405Mexican, Queso Asadero CheeseC28100Deluxe Cake Mix White - Cake, Cupcake & Cookie MixesC156630Frosting Vanilla Ready-To-Spread - Baking Decorations/Icing, Food Coloring, etc.64260Candies, Twizzlers Strawberry Twists CandyD+47165Cherry - TWIZZLERS Nibs128440Whoppers Candy112480Jolly Rancher Hard Candy Jolly Rancher Rocks31120Cowtales295Sugarfree mentos65Checker's fries210Jamocha Shake - LargeD510647Regular Roast Beef154320Curly Fries - Sides & SidekickersC-106338Total Calories Consumed9,107