Posts by lildutchgirl79

Original Post by caloricat:

Original Post by lildutchgirl79:

New member per her profile.  Looks like she likes to comment on nicepumpkins posts.

Well, who doesn't?  Right?

What's np blabbering about now?  A Lion dumpling?  I don't know...just pull the string and watch it go....

Mmm, lion dumplings....

Original Post by sebl082459122:

In NC, child support is gathered after going through the CS office. The courts will get him to court and arrange the payments amount. If the person with the child has signed up in a program to receive financial assistance, then this person will get a monthly payment from the DSS office. (1) I'm not sure how or when the person can get off the program, but in one way, the person with the child basically surrenders their child support for the check from DSS when the child support starts coming in, or they let them off the program. If someone, doesn't know the daddy of the baby, then they could draw a monthly check maybe, but should they establish paternity, then apparently, they have to continue drawing from DSS. Doesn't make sense does it, but the child support pays the state or funding source back. (2) What's terrible about it is the child support payments might be more than the DSS check. The best thing to do is to just know who you are getting child support from, how long you might get the support, and are you getting any job training, and will he get raises and more training or any training. Weigh the options if it must be looked at as options, and really from start or comes down to it, it is easier to raise a child with steady pay.

(Bold & numbering is mine)

(1) It's called assignment of support rights.  You do not have the right to have your child supported by both the non-custodial parent AND the taxpayer.  If you sign up for public assistance, the non-custodial parent's support payments go to the gov't to pay back some of what the taxpayer has paid for your child.  This is in the small print of the application for benefits that the person signs.

(2) If the child support payments start coming in on a regular basis, and are more than the custodial parent is receiving in public assistance, it would be customary for the assistance office to terminate the person's grant.  When the grant is terminated, the support payments being received would start to be paid to the custodial parent instead of to welfare.

As for who keeps any excess support received while the custodial parent is still receiving assistance, that's up to the individual state.  I'm not sure what NC has decided, but in PA they have made several changes which they refer to as "Family First" policies to ensure that families receive more of the funds rather than the state.....supposedly this will help the families get off welfare.  There are "pass through" payments where families get an extra amount in their public assistance grant if dad pays a certain amount of support, arrears owed on the case prior to CP receiving welfare are no longer reassigned to the state, FTROP payments (tax refund intercepts) are no longer applied to welfare arrears first, etc.

From an interesting article on McQueary:

According to the grand jury report, McQueary told Paterno, Curley and Schultz but stopped there. He was never questioned by police. And there is no mention in the report of McQueary approaching the police on his own. Tuesday, The Morning Call of Allentown, Pa., reported that McQueary e-mailed a friend that he "did have discussions with police and with the official at the university in charge of the police."

Here's a good timeline regarding who saw what and when.  

My opinion - first of all, two men (a janitor, and McQueary the grad student), at two separate times, saw Sandusky engaging in anal and oral sex with boys.  I cannot BELIEVE that they actually SAW it happening, did not immediately STOP what was happening and call 911.  Even if you're scared to confront the guy, why wouldn't you run to the nearest phone and call the cops anonymously?

Regarding Joe Paterno, I feel that he's been focused on only because he's so well known.  If this was some no-name coach at a tiny school, I really feel the focus would have stayed where it belongs.....on the people with the most authority
& responsibility, the administrators above Paterno.  The problem is not with the actions he took, but with lack of action of his superiors.  If his superiors had done what they were supposed to do with the information Paterno gave them, and it led to Sandusky being caught back then, he'd be hailed as a hero for helping stop the guy. 

As for Paterno not going to the police, sure he could have.  So could the hundreds of teachers and other mandatory reporters who deal with abuse situations every year.  Do they all go straight to the police?  No, I would imagine that most follow the guidelines that they've been trained and taught, which for educators is usually going to involve reporting the suspicions to administration.

There's a lot of blame to spread around in this situation.  While I believe Paterno could have done more, I think he's shouldering more than his fair share of blame, considering that he is was not the witness to the acts nor is he the final authority (with either the University or law enforcement) tasked with dealing with sexual abuse situations.

ETA: I also think it's a shame that all the focus on Paterno is taking away from what the media should be reporting on, which is in my opinion what Sandusky is doing. Anyone seen or read any reports on what he's up to during all this mess?

Original Post by happyballerina:

So my thing is, I don't see ANY reason for ANYbody to get offended about another person's weight loss. 

It's not your weight, it's not your business. They have their own reasons for wanting to lose weight, whether it's 5 or 20 or 120 lbs they want to lose, and no one should need to feel like they need to justify their reasons for wanting to lose weight to anyone else. 

When someone talks about wanting to lose weight, most of the time it's phrased in a way that's critical of themselves.

"Oh I was really bad over the holidays and put on 10 pounds"

"I've been so lazy and haven't gone to the gym to get rid of these 10 pounds"

"I just can't help myself when there's donuts in the lunchroom, it's making it impossible to lose these 10 pounds"

When you see someone criticize or put themselves down over 10 pounds, and you know in your head that you have 100 pounds to lose, it can feel like they must think 10x less of you than they do of themselves.  You've done 10x as bad a job keeping the weight off.  You have 10x less self control than they do.  You're 10x lazier.  It feels like you're being attacked even if the other person never mentions your weight.  Rational thoughts?  Perhaps not, but still hard to keep out of one's head.

If a conversation is phrased so that the discussion is positive - about fitness, health, etc. then the comparison doesn't seem quite as negative, maybe just because there's not a number attached to it, so it's harder to make the comparison.  You're just both trying to get healthier - there's nothing to quantify.

We went out to dinner at Friendly's tonight.  I had the Ginger Chicken Stir Fry, which is supposed to be 530 calories.  It was pretty good!!  TONS of sodium, but I figured better lower cal & lots of sodium than high cal & lots of sodium!

I probably wouldn't buy one, but I don't find them offensive.  

As long as the shirt doesn't say something like "Future Bieber Bedder", I don't really have a problem with it.

Original Post by veggiefan2k4:

Hi. It's me again. I have a seriously huge problem. Jendisney, I tried your method. I gained some weight back after eating too little and since I only did that for a week, it stopped after about two. I workout and eat 1600 calories a day and three weeks after I started showed some results in the form of inches lost. But now I'm noticing that despite the fact that I do more of the exact same exercises I have since September when I started this, that I'm losing muscle definition and gaining fat. I said I would try your way and if I didn't like it, I would stopped and continue to do it my way. I just want to let you know that your method does not work for everybody (not that you said it did). It has me sitting here like an idiot day in and day out gaining weight. Everything I did in the past 4 weeks had been for nothing. I do not have the first clue why I'm gaining fat and losing muscle. I do more than enough to sustain my progress. This only ever started to happen after I increased my calories and decreased my workout from 3 hours to 1 and a half (5 days a week). This was a huge mistake. I have decided to go back down to 1400 calories and go to the gym three hours a day, five days a week (and if I'm not satisfied with that I will go all 7 days).

I can't believe what's happening to me. I have to lose weight. I just wanted to lose 5lbs by the end of the year. I can't even accomplish that. I'm so angry that I tried an idea that I knew couldn't work for me and allowed this to happen. I'm even fatter than when I started. You wouldn't happen to know, by chance, why something like this would be happening? Do not say it's my body correcting itself after my 1300 diet (which I only did for 1 week) because I gained three pounds before it stopped, then lost two, and now I'm gaining again, and I guarantee it's not muscle. And I eat healthy and drink plenty of water, as usual. Nothing else has changed. And no, I'm not pregnant.

You're lucky it worked for you. I need to find something that works for me and so far as I know anything under 1500 calories and more than 2 hours of intense exercise works. So it would be a mistake, I think, to say that such a diet is bad for everybody because apparently what's good is not always good. They say that everything that glitters isn't gold...I really should have thought more about that before I tried doing it your way. I wish someone could help me, because I'm really starting to think that an eating disorder is much better than this. I don't feel healthy and I certainly don't look healthy. I hate myself far more than I ever have in my life and it feels like it's killing me. I keep crying about it. I don't know why this is happening to me. I can't stand the way I look right now. I have eaten under 1000 calories today. I'm sticking to that until I find out why this is happening. I have requested from my school a health assessment to take my metrics and a personal trainer. But they are taking forever to reply and I only have 5 more weeks. If I could even lose 3lbs I would be a little happier. Someone help, please!

This sounds like a very extreme over-reaction for a situation where you are aiming to lose 3-10 pounds.

It sounds like you are in danger of developing an eating disorder, if you don't already have one.

From your comments on this thread and from your other post, it seems clear that you are A) eating too little and B) exercising too much and C) not sleeping enough.  It looks like several people have tried to explain that to you.

Have you logged your foods on this site, especially for your under-1000-calorie days?  Have you looked at the nutrition report then?  There's no way that you are meeting your body's nutritional needs with such a small amount of food.  If you claim you are, I'd like to see your meal plan please.

In 2009 I lost 78 pounds eating ~1800 calories a day, and walking 3 miles per day.  I drank a lot of water, and made sure I got more sleep.  No starving on less than a thousand calories, no cutting out entire food groups, no 21 hours of workouts per week, no gym.  You don't need to STARVE or to live at the gym to lose weight.  Especially when you're talking less than 10 pounds.

I hope you log in again sometime and read some of the advice people posted for you.  Or that you have met with a doctor, dietician or trainer from your college who can give you decent advice. 

Original Post by teatoddy: -The only people that are discussing this are my boyfriend, the girl's boyfriend, and me. I'm pretty much the only woman that this guy knows comfortably enough besides his gf.

I'm not sexually uneducated or inexperienced, and I would still be APPALLED to find out that my husband was discussing (without my express permission or participation) my personal hygiene and details of my sexual experience/comfort with two of his friends.  It's one thing if my husband or I are joking around about "getting some", etc., but it's entirely another for one person to have a personal and serious conversation about the other person's private sex life and/or perceived problems.

Plus, now the only people that are discussing this are the boyfriend, his friend, you, and dozens of random people on the internet.  I don't care if the internet is mostly anonymous, I wouldn't want anyone except me posting things online about my sex life.

I reiterate that she should go see a counselor, or Planned Parenthood, or something similar.  She could go to a library or bookstore if she's not comfortable meeting with someone - there's plenty of information available.  I assume she also has access to Google.  This is an issue for herself, her partner, and possibly a professional if that level of help is necessary.  Not a peer group, unless SHE is the one who actively brings it up with them.

I don't think the issue is the site; it's that the human body isn't a perfect machine.  Things fluctuate.