Posts by lostpumpkins


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Forum Topic Date Replies
The Lounge Chat a Boom (Don't Ya Jes Love It?) Jul 10 2014
14:47 (UTC)
179

Hey dudes

The Lounge Being single Jul 10 2014
14:45 (UTC)
21

It's all about needing external validation.

I mean, we're pretty much raised to believe that what other people think of us is a reflection of our actual worth and thus extremely important.  Do people see us as successful?  Attractive?  Happy?  Cool?  We grow up performing to get positive feedback.  It's really no wonder that it's so difficult for people to be happy with themselves.

That's definitely what it was/is for me.  I'm getting better...but I thrived so long on attention and relationships with men that it's hard to sort out any self confidence without it.  In my head, it was/is like, "If dudes aren't trying to screw/date me, that clearly means I am undesirable."

It's getting better with age though.  I'm really learning to give myself credit, props and love.  When things got really bad a few weeks ago (mentally and emotionally), I got in the habit of writing down the good choices I'd made every day.  I have this tendency to see myself as such a ****/bad person...I really have to make an effort to encourage myself or it will eat me up.  Sometimes, the list was like:  Cleaned my car out...went for a walk...paid a bill I didn't want to pay...didn't buy shoes...

Unfortunately, a lot of people (myself included) have to learn the hard way that when you base your self worth on outside opinions, it will never be consistent.  People will let you down, change their minds, come and go.  And if your happiness hinges on the decisions they make...it will be up and down and all over the place.  

The Lounge Rock bottom Jun 23 2014
18:33 (UTC)
3

I regret that I missed this thread when it was posted.  Thanks pav, I'm assuming this thread had something to do with me and it absolutely did help to read the experiences of others.

I'm fighting as hard as I can right now.  My biggest obstacle right now is definitely my loss of motivation.  I know I need to do things, any things, in order to get out of this depressive state.  But being in the depressive state makes getting off the couch seems as impossible as taking a quick jog up to New York.  So I don't do the things.  And the less things I do, the less things I want to do...and so on and so forth.  It's f-ed.  I have a friend who keeps trying to take me to lunch and I keep agreeing and then cancelling the day of. It doesn't even make sense that I can't go get a free lunch with someone I truly love but...I just can't seem to do it.

Today is better, tomorrow might be worse.  I'm developing a new coping skill right now that is proving effective.  I think most people think of it as a negative habit, but it's very comforting to me to be short sighted right now.  I simply cannot allow myself to take any inventory of my life in this frame of mind.  I cannot measure or reflect.  I can't dream or fear.  I have to just be in this moment without regretting the one that came before it or worrying about the next one coming.  Right this very minute,  I am alive.  I have food and water and shelter and friends and love. I am OK.

The Lounge Should I just move on or am I overreacting? Jun 23 2014
18:13 (UTC)
8

If you like someone and would like to see them again, there is absolutely nothing wrong with making a couple of respectful attempts to express that.  If he continues to ignore you, move on.

Just out of curiosity:  did he recently break up with someone or get out of a relationship?

The Lounge Earth below us, drifting falling, floating weightless Chatting Chatting home May 19 2014
20:22 (UTC)
13
Original Post by pavlovcat:

Was the possum wearing a tiny cowboy hat and little bitty boots?

Because he should've been.


Teehee, no.  But he kept walking into all the doorways and looking as if he wanted to go in somewhere. 

The Lounge Earth below us, drifting falling, floating weightless Chatting Chatting home May 19 2014
20:12 (UTC)
15
Original Post by pavlovcat:

I'm fighting a serious shopping urge.  But instead of fun stuff like home furnishings and clothing, I'm getting toddler toothbrushing paraphenalia and child development books.

*sigh*

I'm desperately trying to think of something fun to purchase for myself but I'm coming up empty handed.


I've been there.  Wait till Tess can use the fun kid mouthwash.

I'm actually considering buying a bottle of wine tonight.  Which is very weird and out of character for me. 

The Lounge Earth below us, drifting falling, floating weightless Chatting Chatting home May 19 2014
19:59 (UTC)
24

Oh, good, thank you.  I appreciate that.  I've thought of her like, every day in the morning on the way to work for some reason.

The Lounge Earth below us, drifting falling, floating weightless Chatting Chatting home May 19 2014
19:37 (UTC)
30

So, I just have to share.  (Making like, huge efforts to be positive these days.  Doesn't always work but it's better than moping.)

I was headed in to work this morning and I see something far ahead of me, walking down the sidewalk.  At first, I thought, "Oh s***, big cat!"  And then, "Oh s***, big squirrel!"

But it was A POSSUM.  Just waddling right down the middle of the sidewalk in downtown Chattanooga.  Very busy down here in the morning and lots of traffic (both foot and wheel), so it was just so odd and he looked so out of place.  But also pretty damn confident.  I assume he's moved to the city to become a STAH!

The Lounge Earth below us, drifting falling, floating weightless Chatting Chatting home May 19 2014
18:51 (UTC)
40

Hey has anyone heard from tb and if so is she okay?  Not trying to be nosy, I've just been thinking about her and haven't gotten any messages or seen any journal entries lately.

The Lounge Earth below us, drifting falling, floating weightless Chatting Chatting home May 19 2014
13:09 (UTC)
206

Hello.

I would just like to say that the world is not fair.  In case you didn't know.

I have been practicing the most unbelievable self control by not picking any of my zits for a week and they are NOT GOING AWAY.

Where is my reward?! 

The Lounge Since dogs are better than cats May 16 2014
20:04 (UTC)
17

oh the little honeys!

love them all

The Lounge Scary news...I just need some support and help and honestly some love May 16 2014
17:11 (UTC)
1

I get what you're saying and you're right.  Everyone has different ideas about manners.

Bottom line, though, it's rude to so deliberately ignore someone who is standing right in front of you speaking to you.  And as a mom, I can't understand allowing your child to do that.

I tried to steer Payton away, but he just kept trying.  I did my part, they didn't do theirs.  And Payton wasn't hurting anyone, he was trying to be nice.  Even though this kid has been a total d*** to him all year.

This is how d-bags are made.

The Lounge Cool story but I still hate cats May 16 2014
16:49 (UTC)
16
Original Post by catwalker:

Original Post by theviewfromhere:

i love the video, but it really just proved what we all already knew: cats are mean, crazy mafuggas and you don't want to be on the wrong side of one of those bastards.


Correct, you don't want to be on the wrong side of a cat.


There's no right side of a cat.  All sides of cat=bad.

The Lounge Cool story but I still hate cats May 16 2014
16:37 (UTC)
18
Original Post by theviewfromhere:

i love the video, but it really just proved what we all already knew: cats are mean, crazy mafuggas and you don't want to be on the wrong side of one of those bastards.


Dang, that's a good one.

The Lounge Cool story but I still hate cats May 16 2014
16:36 (UTC)
19
Original Post by anewdawn:

It was probably just a "Oh no you diiiidnd't!" snap snap snap type of moment - every once in a while our cat puts our dog into his place and the weigh ratio is 11 pounds vs. 117 pounds...and the dog listens....I don't get it.  haha!

 fixed typo


Cat's have no fingers.  Because they are lame.  They cannot snap.

(Although, the idea of a cat snapping is kind of amusing.)

The Lounge Scary news...I just need some support and help and honestly some love May 16 2014
16:35 (UTC)
3

He says it went well!  It's hard to tell sometimes.  I think he tells me what I want to hear, sometimes, or what he thinks he should have to say.  But he didn't seem traumatized or upset, so that's good news.

He had a little art show last night.  He's been going to an after school art program and I got to see everything he's been working on.  It was awesome, except for the fact that one of his bullies from class was there (I didn't realize he was in the program, too).  I watched as Payton said hi to this kid several times.  Each time, the kid looked at him and then turned right around with his back in Payton's face.  This kid's parents were standing there each time, saw it, and did nothing.

It was hard for me to watch.  I don't understand why he keeps trying.  And I don't understand why these "parents" didn't say something to their son.  I know they don't all have to like each other and be best friends...but aren't manners important? 

The Lounge Cool story but I still hate cats May 16 2014
15:30 (UTC)
36

Cats invented the stink eye.  Don't forget that.

The Lounge Cool story but I still hate cats May 16 2014
15:30 (UTC)
37
Original Post by pavlovcat:

Cats are awesome and badass and they totally do have loyalties.  They are the introverts of the domesticated animal world, that's all.  They get a bad rap as being anti-social when really they just need a lot of time alone to refill their emotional energy gas tank...and lick their butts.

And plot world domination.

And resent humans for taking up so much of their space.

And debate on whether or not to randomly leap up into the air and then tear screeching and hissing through the house, clawing everything in their wake.

And practice glaring.  

The Lounge Cool story but I still hate cats May 16 2014
15:26 (UTC)
39
Original Post by kevinatthebrook:

I really think we need to keep an eye on the kid. The cats obviously have plans for him in the future. My theory is that he's some sort of Feline representative for the Anti Christ and they needed to keep him alive.

You know, Dameown?

Interesting theory.

And definitely more plausible than "Cat Cares Enough About Human Being to Protect It"

Pregnancy & Parenting Stop the yelling?? May 15 2014
17:34 (UTC)
2

I've gone through this with my sometimes boyfriend.

His daughter is only four and the way that he reacts to her and "disciplines" her seems so extreme to me.  I've tried pointing this out to him in many different ways, but he always gets defensive and mad and then starts listing all the things I do wrong.  He doesn't seem to understand that I'm not being critical for the sake of being critical...I don't have some burning desire to make him feel bad or pick at him...it truly is just concern for his daughter.  And because I've been a mom for 10 years now, I sort of know what's a big deal and what's not.  And I've learned (the hard way) that yelling is often counterproductive and damaging to the relationship.  I'm a reformed yeller, we'll say.

Anyway, no real advice here but just wanted you to know that I can relate.  He's not a bad father by any means and I know he loves his daughter...just hard to watch him hurting her feelings and often getting the opposite of the desired effect.

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