Posts by machatica

Oh, Vanessa.  You poor thing (but it's all too familiar!  I've been there).  My husband was never much of a contributor to household stuff before having kids, and I'll be honest here:  he still doesn't do much.  That said, he learned.  He washes the dinner dishes most nights (without me prodding), his laundry usually lands in the basket, he sweeps the kitchen floor when it gets awful.  (I used to be a neat freak.  Things have to change with small children).  I think that once the second baby came, he learned.  (Our  tots are 2.5 years and 9 months). 

I hemorrhaged with the second delivery so was laid up from blood loss (severe anemia) for six weeks, and he definitely stepped up.  My big advice to you:  ASK for help.  Men can be kind of retarded when it comes to helping.  They require instruction, advice, and prodding--even highly intelligent men like my husband! 

And one other thing:  If you can afford in-home care, even one day a week, by all means, take advantage of it.  Our nanny helps with washing diapers (we use cloth) and the boys clothes, and this is HUGE.  Good luck. 

#1:  I think that genetics has more to do with the size of your babies. I have two sons spaced two years apart.  The first was 8 pounds 5 ounces, born two weeks late, and the second was 8 pounds 8 ounces, born on his due date.  With the first pregnancy, I exercised every day, felt great, ate quite well (although too much dessert) and gained 35 pounds.  With the second, I felt like crap, never exercised, ate WAY too much dessert, pizza, etc, gained about 40 pounds.  My point is this:  My nutrition and exercise were completely different in the two pregnancies, yet my babies were only a couple of ounces different in birth weight.  That said, my second born, who is now 2.5 months old, has gained a lot more weight that his brother did by this age, and all around seems like a bigger boy.

#2:  See number one, but yes, by 3 ounces, boy #1 was smaller than boy #2.  And genetically speaking, I think from my experience that the size of a couple's babies is definitely a blending of the couple's genetics. My children's father was a wee little 6 pounder at birth, and I was 9.5 pounds, so it makes sense to me that we had 8-ish pound babies!

After two births in every imaginable setting and circumstance, I consider myself a near expert!  My first birth was planned to take place at a birth center, but I ended up with complications and had to go to the hospital.  I had been committed to the idea of a natural birth, but after twelve hours of labor and dilation from 3cm to 4cm, I gave in and got the epidural.  True to expectation, the epidural caused my contractions to cease, and I experienced the much talked about "cascade of interventions" for the next 14 hours, until my boy was born.  (pitocin, descending heartbeat, talk of c-section, etc).  This birth was not lovely, amazing, peaceful or what I had hoped for, but the epidural did numb the pain and ultimately allowed me to continue as naturally as I could.

I just had my second baby last week (!!!), and he was a planned home birth with my naturopath/midwife.  I knew what to expect with labor pain, although I'm not going to lie--it definitely hurt.  I had a labor tub, which made ALL the difference in the world with pain management, and the fact that I recognized that labor would eventually end made it easier for me to deal with each contraction.  I can't speak highly enough of the experience of birthing outside of a hospital setting.  There was peaceful music, birds chirping from the spruce tree in our backyard, sunshine coming through the windows, and a generally unrushed, peaceful environment.  There was never talk of "descending heartbeat" or any pressure to constantly measure my progress, as they did in the hospital.  I had a beautiful baby boy after six hours of unmedicated labor, and I wouldn't have chosen to do it any other way.  The thing about labor, I believe, is that you must realize in the moment that it will indeed eventually end.  I also highly recommend Penny Simkin's book (Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn, I think it's called), because it gives you coping techniques that are truly valuable--rhythm, ritual and relaxation, I think.  Birth is primal; our bodies are designed to endure, and the experience is so worth it! 

I highly suggest the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility."  It will teach you everything you ever wanted to know about your cycle, and you'll become a master at tracking your fertility signs.  Your body is amazing and lets you know when you are ovulating if you just take the time to learn about it.  It's worked for many of my friendS! Oh, and I'm 37 and pregnant for the second time, so I think that qualifies as "older mama" :)

Bum Genius 3.0 definitely, definitely.  We've used them since our son was around 3 months and I love them!  We started with the prefolds and covers when he was tiny, but bumgenius really work well after the baby is over 10 pounds in terms of fit.  Our boy is 18 months now, and the diapers still are holding up beautifully and are super easy to care for.  We have 18 diapers, and wash them every 2-3 days (you have to wash each load twice).  In terms of cost, initially yes, you will pay a bit but come on, with paper diapers, you're spending roughly $10 or more per week, so these diapers paid for themselves within just a few months.  Good luck!  The website cottonbabies.com was very helpful :)

In response to pgeorgian, I'm not advocating alcohol consumption, by the way, just letting folks know that many other cultures in the world seem to be a little less extreme than our own culture.  Do as you please.  As I said, follow your instincts and make informed decisions for yourself.

Just practice moderation--I had an occasional glass of wine throughout my pregnancy, and during my 9th week in France, I had a glass with dinner every night.  If you do a little research, you'll learn that much of the rest of the world doesn't seem so uptight about alcohol consumption.  Go with you instincts; I did and I have a perfectly healthy baby boy.

I second Vanessa--straight from the hips was awesome.  I also enjoyed the "week by week" pregnancy book (can't remember the title, but I'm sure you could find it on amazon through a search).  It was fun to just have something to read weekly instead of monthly.  Finally, one of my very favorites (because I'm a birth center/natural birth advocate) was the Whole Pregnancy Handbook, as well as the book put out by the author of Mothering Magazine, Peggy something.  I'm lame, I'm sorry, I can't remember the title of these books now that Malcolm is one.  Time flies, so does the memory...Good luck!!!

My advice:  eat when you're hungry, stop before you're full, and snack when you get between meal hunger.  It's pretty straightforward, really.  Your body should respond appropriately--I gained 10lbs in the first trimester, 15ish in the second, and maybe 8-10 in the third.  My first tri gain was high, but I went from hard core working out (100+ mile bike rides) to walking for exercise (due to fatigue and elevated heart rate with my old routine).  Anyway, best of luck!

Regarding your Mirena IUD--I got mine in about 2 weeks ago (6months post delivery), and so far it's fine.  No hormonal b.s., but be forewarned, you may bleed for a bit.  I've been spotting for 2+ weeks :(  However, I had it before, and this was exactly what happened for a few weeks, then it was pure contraceptive bliss.  No periods, no hormonal swings, no unintended pregnancies!  And, btw, it doesn't hurt to have "installed" after you've delivered a baby.  I was like, "Have you started  yet?" and the Dr. laughed and said it was already in.