Posts by missmagill

Please, please please do not even consider having sex until you are well-educated on it at the very least...it's important to understand what you're doing and be prepared if you deicide to take that step.

Original Post by aminalkisses123:

choochoox- I'm not really hesitant on waiting I guess, and I know God definitely says wait, but I'm just an impatient teenager who loves my significant other very much and figure in a few years if we're still together he probably isn't going anywhere if he's still around and it would be emotionally bonding. It's not really even the physical aspect of it, although yes I'm a teenager with hormones that also wouldn't mind that step.

All in all, I would love to wait til marriage to give myself to someone, but I don't know if I'm strong enough to hold back. Though it really does helpthat he never pressures me and in fact asks me all the time if I'm uncomfortable in anyway in the relationship.

I like that quote that you'll never regret going too slow but you will going too fast. Never thought of it that way before.

I'm with choochoox, though, as others mentioned, if "saving yourself" causes you to rush marriage, then don't force yourself. I know many more people that have regreted not waiting than people who have regreted waiting. In fact, I don't know anyone who regreted waiting for it. I've seen dating-stage sex destroy relationships because of commitment issues, maturity issues, or from people using each other. If you both are absolutely commited to each other and deeply in love, you will be able to find the strength to wait if that is what you want to do. I personally choose to wait for marriage because I only want to be that intimate with one person in my lifetime and I take relationships very seriously, but to each their own. The most important thing is that you are SOLID in what you decide.

I first started dating at the age of 18, and I am still with my first boyfriend a year later. He is 3 years older than me, and he is not a virgin, but he cares enough about me and respects me enough to accept my choice to wait until I'm married. He is pressured by many people to make me have sex with him, but he defends my decisions and never even tries to tempt me into anything. We find plenty of joy in simply spending time together, joking around, writing poetry, baking together, fixing lawn mowers, talking, walking and biking, travelling...you get the point. It is important to establish a wide variety of activites to do together that you enjoy together before you start getting intimate, because physical things certainly aren't everything...dating is a great time to do so. My boyfriend waited until he was with his last girlfriend for 2 and a half years to have sex. She pushed him into it, and their relationship shattered afterwards...time together is not always the best proof of commitment. She broke up with him out of the blue a few months later. My boyfriend regularly falls apart emotionally because he regrets trusting her to stay with him and because that level of intimacy makes it a lot harder to forget a person, no matter how much they hurt you.

I sympathize so much...we are even the exact same heights and weights! My weight bounced around a lot over my childhood and teen years due to various medical issues, but when I was healthy for a good 2 years, my weight stabalized at 120-130ish, I was doing triathlons, eating a healthy 3000 cals daily to maintain and I felt absolutely amazing. Then I developed a new medical issue--hypothyroidism--and gained to 160 over a month without changing my heavy exercise routine or eating habits. I tried to decrease my caloric intake (in little bits until I'd reduced from 3000 to 1800) only to gain to 190 within another month. After I found out about my thyroid issue and started medication, I lost 30 lbs over about a month whie eating about the same 1800/2000 calories and exercising as usual...but after that initial weight loss, I've been stalled out for 8 months. :( I am at a loss and feeling hopeless...I'm at 160 no, and just want to reach 140, but nothing I try works. I'm sorry to say I have no solution, but I do understand and sympathize.

Original Post by puddykat:

Since you are under 21 CC's tools won't work for you. Secondly you are very very active and 2000 may actually not be enough for you and that's why you are hungry. If you are working out 2 hours a day at leas on top of a pretty active job then you are burning quite a bit. I don't have a teen calculator off the top of my head but you should look one of those up and see what you most likely burn and work out a reasonable 500-800 calorie deficit. Also make sure you are getting enough proteins and fats as those will keep you full and are also necessary for a healthy body. Good luck.

 I thought I might be undereating...I've used the kid's calculators, but I wasn't too certain of which activity level I fell under, since I average about 1.5 hours of exercise/activity on top of my job. The very active said 3150. I get a good balance in my diet or fats and proteins, so I'm set there. :) Thanks for your help!

If you were aleady destined to grow taller and your ED stunned that growth, you should grow to your full height once your body is doen repairing itself. I grew 2 inches practically overnight after I completed weight restoration and health restoratioin, though I was also 16 at the time. However, it sounds as if you're about where you're detined to be, given your parents' heights.

First of all, way to go on 5 days of no purging! That is a huge accomplishment! Do you reward yourself somehow for these awesome achievements? If not, you may find that encouraging.

According to your other posts, you are 5'3, which leaves your BMI at 16.3 - 17.2...underweight. I am not sure what your weight was like before your ED came about, but it is typically best to gain to a BMI of 20-24.9 (112 - 140 lbs) in order to obtain ideal mental recovery as well as physical. And trust me, a BMI of 20 is FAR from large. Particuarly if you are active.

I would not suggest intuative eating unless you are completely mentally recovered. There is too high a chance of undereating. Unless, you can build a support group to keep an eye on you and make sure you don't appear to be undereating. If you are comfortable with that. Intuitive eating is fantastic, and it is definitely a wonderful thing to aim for, but be sure that you are ready. You don't want to slip further into an ED and isolate yourself...very unlike a normal teenager.

Purging is a very serious matter, as I am hoping you already know. It screws with and strains your entire digestive system, heart, throat and teeth, as well as inducing wrinkles to form on your face quicker than natural. Not to mention, it can be fatal. It can cause you to lose up to 50% of the calories you take in, so yes, it can cause weight loss. A lot of it. Most of the vitamins you consume are vomited out as well as calories, so your body misses out on many of the benefits of foods completely.

I will keep you in my thoughts, and I pray that all goes beautifully in your recovery. It is very, very worthwhile. You are so young, you don't need to miss out on a lot because you are turning it around. Major cheers to you!

Thank you so much for your thoughtful replies and support!!!

Kotov - My hair has suddenly started coming back to life...I mostly noticed it after I began washing it on a daily basis rather than every other day. I don't know if you already wash yours every day, but it's something to try! I know the feeling of losing the one physical thing your appreciate about yourself...my legs used to be really toned and now they're flabby,  puffy and covered in cellulite. Only my calves have maintained minor definition. I'm also a huge cycling enthusiast, and it's really annoying to have my thighs scraping together while I ride. 

I'm glad that everything else is coming into order for you, though! That is marvelous! I'm sure that you're feeling much better now, too. :-)

Darwinsfrog - Your reply was really encouraging, thank you. I hope that having hypothyroidism for so long has at least made it slightly easier to deal with now that you're taking your medication regularly. The symptoms your described fit me to a T...it's so crazy when that happens, because one often feels all alone in the world! I've been taking my medication as directed without missing a dose...thankfully I haven't forgotten it! 

I eat very healthily (I'm also allergic to eggs, dairy, soy, peanuts, gluten, beef, lamb and pork), never eating processed foods, sugars, or refined foods. I consume a lot of vegetables and fruits and only drink water and tea. Most of my peers think that I'm crazy, because I've been eating this way since I was 13, and I'm now 17. I sincerely enjoy it, though!

I'm also a huge exerciser. Despite hypothyroidism making me tired, I'd exercise 2-3 hours per day 6-7 days a week. My doctor actually told me to reduce it a bit to put less stress on my body. He suggested 7 to 11 hours per week rather than 12 to 21 hours. I'm getting into triathlons, too...I just completed my first sprint tri last summer (again, all of my peers think that I'm crazy :-)).

Thanks so much to both of you for taking the time to write!

Anncatcom - I agree that tmill should visit her doctor...they can be extremely helpful, suggesting foods to eat and avoid, medications and supplements to try, etc. I do, indeed, have celiacs. I'm also allergic to dairy, eggs, soy, peanuts, beef, lamb, pork and kidney beans. It's actually not that hard to get used to.

Tmill - If you want any suggestions/advice regarding a wheat free diet, I'd be more than happy to help--PM me! :-) 

Tyratri - Your username sounds familiar...did I "meet" you on here before? I really appreciate all of your advice and the time that you took to look into my situation. I was truly not looking for an ounce of sympathy, so there's no need to say that you're sorry for me. :-)

How long have you been a "silly-yak?" I LOVE that nickname!!! Have you felt better from cutting out gluten? I hope so.

Your advice certainly sounds logical...right now logic and my body seem to be enemies, though. I ran my stats through the bcm "under 21" calculator and it claims that I need 3,150 calories per day to maintain my weight! How I was gaining on 2200 is beyond me! I've been researching hypothyroidism and, on average, only 10-15 lbs of weight gain can be attributed to the thyroid...I gained twice that, if not more (I stopped weighing after a while, so I may have been 170 at the beginning of this year). Apparently, all other weight gain is due to a poor diet and lack of exercise. I don't know what I was doing wrong, because I live a very healthy and active lifestyle.

2 weeks ago, I unintentionally veered off track with my doctor-prescribed elimination diet (I was sick of thinking about food...I don't like to focus on eating or cooking) and I noticed a stall in my weight loss and a ton of excess bloating. I was still avoiding my allergens, but I wasn't cycling them as I was instructed to. That was interesting to observe. I'm back on track now. 

I wish that I knew how much weight loss to attribute to water weight. I'm pretty sure that I went as high as 170 at the beginning of this month and lost some just by cutting out my allergens (they were discovered a few weeks before my thyroid).  It would be so much easier to figure out how much to eat then. See, I feel hungry for more than I 've been consuming (and I'm the type that stops eating JUST when the feeling of hunger goes away), but I'm pretty scared of eating too much. I really feel the effects of the weight gain, and it feels all-around horrible.

As for the vegetarianism, I am sure that I want to avoid eating meat. I've been doing so for a while now, and I don't know that I can stand the idea of eating an animal now. I LOVE animals...my family cares for two sheep, two dogs, five cats, a ton of fish and two turtles. I walk/care for my friend's dogs when they are away and just for fun. I cannot fathom killing a living creature for food. I don't force my feelings upon others, but I really don't think that I can morally stand to consume meat. According to my doctor, I'm allergic to all meats except for poultry and fish, anyway. I have checked, and I get about 80-100 grams of protein per day; I eat plenty of beans and peas, high-protein veggies like broccoli and cabbage, and nuts and seeds. I make sure to get proper amounts of nutrients as well.

Original Post by dolphinclick:

Since you got your medication sorted out and your allergies under control, you can probably start eating more and still lose.  If you're burning 3000 calories a day, you can probably eat 2500 calories a day and still lose about a pound a week.  As a teenager, you shouldn't aim for faster than that.  And if you're feeling lightheaded and dizzy on 1800 calories, you should definitely eat more. 

 2500? Really? I certainly don't want ot be a pig or anything...I feel ridiculous needing more than 2000 calories to lose weight when there are so many people my age eating 1600 or so...I don't mean to knock everybody's advice or anything--it's all so confusing.

So, I should keep eating 1800ish? I feel kind of foggy and dizzy half of the time, but I don't want to eat too much, either...