Posts by murrill

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Forum	Topic	Date	Replies
The Lounge	drugs??	Dec 11 2012 17:33 (UTC)	139
Original Post by theviewfromhere: i think i've explained myself. eta: not that you're not helping immensely. Then consider me "think": I do not think you have explained yourself. I was just asking, and if you choose not to answer so be it. And how am I "helping immensely." I have my suspicions, but why don't you elaborate?
The Lounge	drugs??	Dec 11 2012 17:01 (UTC)	143
Original Post by theviewfromhere: Original Post by murrill: This has been a revelation. I'm not offended, and I do not take it personally: To each his own. I am alcoholic (sober a very long time), and it never occurred to me that my abstinence would bother a casual drinker. A substance abuser, yes, but not a casual imbiber. Good to know. i think you misunderstand. it's not that abstinence bothers me. i have no problem whatsoever having a drink with someone who abstains - or vice versa. but we're talking about long-term intimate relationships. and, no, i wouldn't attach myself to someone who's never going to have a beer or a glass of wine or a mojito on vacation with me. So why do you need for the "long-term intimate" to drink with you?
The Lounge	drugs??	Dec 11 2012 14:21 (UTC)	147
Original Post by kevinatthebrook: The thought crossed my mind the other day: What's the difference between abuse and dependence? It would seem obvious that abuse would lean more towards occasional over indulgence and dependence would be a physical/psychological need for the drug/alcohol. The terms seem to be used interchangeably but I'm wondering if there might be different approaches to treatment. Various schools of thought on this one. Most simply put, it is dependence when there are physical benchmarks as evidenced by blackouts, increased tolerance, and symptoms of withdrawal. Someone who is dependent is unlikely to be able to safely drink again. Alcohol abuse might be a precursor to future dependence, or it could be in response to a situation, e. g. divorce or other loss. I expect that many of my friends from college could have been classified as alcohol abusers, but not all of them had what it takes to graduate to dependence. (Did you notice the subtle metaphor in there, Buck?) I have known alcohol abusers who, once removed from the unpleasant situation, were able to drink in moderation. I doubt that you would find different approaches to treatment, though, since it tends to be a "one size fits all" kind of thing. That is not to say it is appropriate, but it tends to be that way. I've met many people who had legal issues related to drugs--they were dealers--but who never used or abused. Yet the courts have mandated that they participate in substance abuse treatment.
The Lounge	drugs??	Dec 11 2012 13:02 (UTC)	149
Original Post by watergirl: Original Post by murrill: This has been a revelation. I'm not offended, and I do not take it personally: To each his own. I am alcoholic (sober a very long time), and it never occurred to me that my abstinence would bother a casual drinker. A substance abuser, yes, but not a casual imbiber. Good to know. Congrats on your sobriety, murill. Thanks. Not a day goes by that I am not reminded that I am one of the fortunate ones.
The Lounge	drugs??	Dec 11 2012 12:53 (UTC)	151
Original Post by castille360: All these folks would rule out teetotalers? And I believe some of them were panicked over some slight unspecified drug use! Non-drinkers encompasses Mormons, 7th day Adventists, Muslims, Quakers (who I'm particularly partial to, actually,) children of substance abusing families, recovered alcoholics, people on contraindicated medications, dieters, and that's just a broad start! You really just write off that broad a swath of people as potential partners right off the bat? That just amazes me. Much More than the writing off anyone who occasionally uses illicit drugs or tobacco, actually. I like Quakers, too.
The Lounge	drugs??	Dec 11 2012 12:47 (UTC)	152
Original Post by watergirl: Original Post by catwalker: Original Post by theviewfromhere: Original Post by murrill: I wouldn't date someone that smoked pot. I wouldn't date someone that smoked tobacco either. I wouldn't date someone that used pharmaceuticals recreationally. I wouldn't date someone that did not use alcohol at all. That's just me. You can date whoever you want. But if I were the OP and I had a concern about a behavior of the person I was dating, I would end the relationship. Tom, I probably would not date someone who smoked pot because, right or wrong, it is illegal. Ditto with the recreational pharmaceuticals. I don't like the smell of tobacco; I am a self-righteous ex-smoker. But I'm curious about why you would not date someone who does not drink alcohol. I'm not trying to debate here--just curious. I don't know that I have ever heard someone rule out a non-drinker. now you've heard of two. Make that three. Four. This has been a revelation. I'm not offended, and I do not take it personally: To each his own. I am alcoholic (sober a very long time), and it never occurred to me that my abstinence would bother a casual drinker. A substance abuser, yes, but not a casual imbiber. Good to know.
The Lounge	drugs??	Dec 10 2012 23:35 (UTC)	170
Original Post by trh: Original Post by smashley23: Original Post by cptbunny: Original Post by smashley23: What about the 400,000 people who die each year from cigarettes or the 75,000 people who die from alcohol each year? Should I hide from all of the people who use those substances as well? What makes them any better than recreational drug users? Edit: 17,000 people die each year out of 22 million users. That's why all of those things would be deal breakers for me. That's fine. Your deal breakers can be whatever you want them to be. One of the virtues of being in a free country. I just don't see why some people hear drugs and are ready to go into some type of holier than thou rant, but think alcohol and cigarettes are just fine. I wouldn't date someone that smoked pot. I wouldn't date someone that smoked tobacco either. I wouldn't date someone that used pharmaceuticals recreationally. I wouldn't date someone that did not use alcohol at all. That's just me. You can date whoever you want. But if I were the OP and I had a concern about a behavior of the person I was dating, I would end the relationship. Tom, I probably would not date someone who smoked pot because, right or wrong, it is illegal. Ditto with the recreational pharmaceuticals. I don't like the smell of tobacco; I am a self-righteous ex-smoker. But I'm curious about why you would not date someone who does not drink alcohol. I'm not trying to debate here--just curious. I don't know that I have ever heard someone rule out a non-drinker.
The Lounge	drugs??	Dec 10 2012 20:51 (UTC)	184
OP apparently has concerns about this person's drug use, else she would not have posted this. Therein lies the red flag, IMHO. If it has caught her eye at this early stage in the "relationship," I think there may be a reason for it. No, I cannot avoid all people who smoke, or drink or use drugs (illegal & otherwise), but I continually assess my comfort level when I am around people who do use.. It is not a matter of being "better than." I am responsible for who & what I invite into my life. There have been so many times that, in regretful retrospect, I finally acknowlege that I ignored the signs of trouble to come.
The Lounge	drugs??	Dec 10 2012 01:35 (UTC)	230
Yes.
The Lounge	offshoot: Raging Rhino of Hijack!@!!	Dec 07 2012 13:36 (UTC)	5
Original Post by catwalker: My little grey cat catches voles in our yard. She brings them to me as presents. Mine too! Grey cat, voles, presents! I praise her immensely, and she is so proud.
The Lounge	offshoot: Raging Rhino of Hijack!@!!	Dec 07 2012 13:34 (UTC)	6
Original Post by trh: I had to go to the doctor today and have a suspicious mole removed from my back. Has anyone else had to have this done? (This is how you hijack) A couple of times. Mine have always returned OK, although some have been identified as "the kind that could turn to cancer in the future." My Father has has some basal cell carninomas. All treated successfully. Glad you are taking care of things.
The Lounge	When the Chattista singes	Dec 06 2012 18:38 (UTC)	226
Original Post by penguin623: whines My ribs hurt really bad today. :( Days like this, I wish I didn't have to wear a bra to work. I feel like I'm being crushed! :/ Hello again. It's very hard to stay away... Funny you mention bras.....My "girls" have never been very large, and I confess that I have not always provided them with the support they deserved. I've often worn camis and never had a problem. Fast forward to middle age: I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror and, aghast!, ask who was that woman with the concave chest! Alas, it was I. Also, things have changed since I lost weight, so I went to Soma's web site and calculated my best fit. Turns out I have never, ever, ever worn the correct bra size. Had a coupon, so I went to Vicky's Secret last night. First time in my life I don't hate my bra. This is what they mean about staying on topic, isn't it? I mean, I certainly didn't want to derail anyone......
The Lounge	When the Chattista singes	Dec 06 2012 18:32 (UTC)	232
Original Post by nomoreexcuses: Original Post by berger_amanda: Anyone remember Hurrican Bertha? I don't remember what year that was... but the only reason I remember it is because my sister and I had a "Berthaday Party" (get it? birthday?) and built blanket forts and such. Totally awesome. Pretty sure Bertha was 1996, b/c I was living on the coast and had to find a place to stay inland. :) It was '96, and Fran arrived 6-8 weeks later. I'm on the coast. You could have stayed with me.
Calorie Count	Weird glitch that I hate.	Dec 06 2012 16:58 (UTC)	1
This happened to me yesterday (12/05/12) I was loggin for lunch, and it switched to snacks. Also, today I tried to enter 1/2 of a serving (0.5), which I have done in the past, and it would not change.
The Lounge	When the Chattista singes	Dec 06 2012 15:32 (UTC)	412
Original Post by lilsammi23: Mornin' all! Also, old and middle English are so cool sounding when spoken by somebody who really knows the language. They've got to be able to get the inflections right, so they have to be able to understand what they're saying (easier with middle English than with old). One of my professors in college was one of the leading Beowulf scholars in the world. When we did out unit on Beowulf, he used to occasionally read us passages in the original English. Loved that. I had one who did that with Chaucer's Canterbury Tales. It was so much better that way.
The Lounge	When the Chattista singes	Dec 06 2012 15:29 (UTC)	413
Original Post by cajunrider: Good morning Kari, KG, Murrill, Pavvycake Thanks for the compliments ladies. Truly my night was a mashup of thoughts that came out like a mix of dragon movies and Spawn. Murrill, I'm glad you like the floor. I spent a few weeks putting it down and putting the crown molding up as well. Those 12" two piece moldings were tough to put up. I had noticed the beautiful crown molding, too. Love your wall color. All in all, a lovely home.
The Lounge	When the Chattista singes	Dec 06 2012 13:34 (UTC)	462
wicky: Great news about DH. Have thought of both of you often. I know he is the patient, and I'm sure this has been a challenge for him, but you've had a lot on your plate, too. You have been a real trooper! Somehow my breakfast of apple, yogurt, and eggs pales in comparison to Chat's. Cajun's food descriptions always make me salivate. BTW, beautiful tree, Cajun. Looks "real." Beautiful floors in your home, too. Anyway, my consumer is en route. Very bright young man with some serious deficits in socialization. What we used to call Asperberger's. I have to figure out what he can do..... Have a lovely day, Chatters and Chatteristas.
The Lounge	hot sauce abuse - lawyer sought	Dec 05 2012 16:17 (UTC)	3
Original Post by runesplendor: Original Post by santonacci: Original Post by runesplendor: I feel pretty secure in calling this an unfortunate one-off. Then with all due respect, runey, you're kidding yourself. The abhorrent treatment present in today's prison system is well known and documented. Why we allow it to continue is a much bigger discussion. Then you guys have bigger problems. This crap happens so rarely in places like Canada and Norway and Sweden as to be able to say it 'never' happens. We have prisoner advocate groups, legal aid groups, watchdog lobbies, and a large enough liberal foundation that when there's a sniff of something like this, it's pounced on firmly and immediately. I still think it's BS though, to assume that because some people are like that, everyone is at heart. Edit: Sorry, that's really snappy. I'm cranky and everything is coming out a lot pissier than I intend to let out. No need to apologize for being human. It's probably just that ebola virus from CHAT that's getting you down.
The Lounge	Come on it's lovely weather for a Chat-ride together with you	Dec 05 2012 15:31 (UTC)	324
Original Post by cajunrider: Points at avi. As of 2am this morn, the tree was completed and lit. It is chock full of ornaments and mementos of Christmas past. It took this long because I kept slowing down to reminisce.* My favorite part. As I unwrap each decoration I recall where I bought it, who gave it to me, what it meant. I could just do that & never put them on the tree, I guess.
The Lounge	hot sauce abuse - lawyer sought	Dec 05 2012 15:26 (UTC)	8
This report evokes lots of thoughts: Remember Lord of the Flies, which asks us to consider if man is inherently evil? And what of Jung's theory about our "shadow selves," that we all have them, and it is in merging our dark & light that we become whole. I also have to wonder about the environment that breeds these behaviors. Even if I were so incline to perpetrate these atrocities, I would refrain out of fear of consequences, job loss, etc. Where were those institutional controls in this setting? why did they think they could get away with it. It is the rare individual, at least in my own experience, who comes out of prison with a renewed commitment to socially acceptable behaviors. They seem to develop a new set of skills to survive, and those are not necessarily welcomed in free society. No winners here.

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