Posts by nikkisue2

I'm reading into your 2nd post and making a few assumptions.  You mention sharing an office when you were students, and now being on different floors of the law firm.  This suggests to me that you might be a lawyer at a medium to large firm, at the start of your career.  If this is the case, please proceed with extreme caution.  (This advice does not apply if you are a secretary or paralegal, in which case I'd say establish an out-of-office friendship and see what develops).   If you are an attorney, my concern is for your reputation and the future of your career.  Several things could go wrong, even if he returns your feelings.  At this stage, you haven't established yourself.  Unfortunately, young female attorneys face an uphill battle earning the respect their male counterparts are given in the early years of their careers.  Overcoming locker-room talk or the secretarial pool gossip mill is extraordinarily difficult.  Believe me - this is NOT how you want to get noticed at your firm.  I understand that you are thinking relationship, not one night stand, but you can't control how it will be portrayed when it makes the rounds as the latest topic of firm gossip; and you can't control who will hear that gossip.

I don't mean to be so discouraging, but until I became disabled I practiced law. I've worked for small, medium and large firms.  While I've never dated a co-worker, I've watched various female associates effectively ruin their reputations and any real chance for advancement by engaging in what they thought were private relationships or by sharing their personal business with staff.  I'm not saying it can't be done, but before doing so please proceed with extreme caution, and don't use anyone else in your firm as your confidante about the relationship.  If you elect to move forward, make sure that your in-office contact is above-board and purely professional.  Do not flirt at work!  If anything, be more detached at the office.  Keep your personal relationship completely off-campus, and away from co-workers (at least apart from co-workers until the two of you are a firmly established couple for a substantial length of time).

Cutting to the chase:  I'd build a TRUE friendship outside of the office, and see if you even still like him in that setting.  I suspect that you will either be so drawn together that it will organically happen, or it will become the friendship it was meant to be and your crush will fade.  Don't force it.  If it turns out to be true love, keep it as far away from the office as possible, proceed with caution as I explained above, and whatever you do, don't talk about him with anyone else at work (good or bad)! .... Now good luck!!!

I have a LOT of information and advice I can give you.  You are not alone, and your doctor's answer is not acceptable.  Please ask for a referral to a neurologist, preferably one who specializes in headaches/migraines.  If you live in the US, tell me what area you live in and I'll be happy to help you find one.   You may never find the cause or trigger, but there is plenty of relief out there for most people.  You shouldn't have to suffer through this - at least not at the stage you describe.  Big tip ... dark, cool quiet room with only white noise and ice packs ... lots and lots of ice packs (on forehead, base of head/neck and temples).  Use an eye mask if you need to to keep light out while you rest.  When you're up and about, always where sunglasses, especially when on the computer, under fluorescent lights, and in the daylight, even if it's overcast.  Also, Mt. Dew.  I know is counter-intuitive to our diets, but the caffeine/sugar (NOT the diet version) combo really helps.  Just make sure you only use it when you need it for the pain - not all the time - or you'll develop headaches from caffeine withdrawal.

Feel free to friend and/or message me privately with any questions or to discuss various things to approach your doctor about.  How long have you been getting migraines?  Is this the first on-going one, or have they been chronic for a while?  Do you have a family history of them?  Has your doctor diagnosed them as migraine (versus another type of headache ... although so, so many that are actually migraine are mis-labeled something else)?  Have you had a **** or MRI?  Has your doctor discussed triptans, such as Imitrex or Maxalt with you to stop migraines once they've started?  Has he discussed trying preventative medication such as antidepressants, beta-blockers, calcium channel blockers or anti seizure medication?  

You don't need to give your entire medical history on a forum, but these are all things that should have been raised by your doctor - or at least in my experience typically are raised by doctors each time I present as I'm a chronic migraine sufferer.  I'm well past the basics and one of the 5% or so who can't seem to find a solution, but I keep trying, and I'm confident we'll find my answer, too.  I've tried almost everything, though, on my more than 10 year journey, so I'm a wealth of information - although I'm NOT a medical professional .... and this DEFINITELY requires the advice of an engaged doctor who either specializes in this field or is willing to put in the time to become educated about it.

I don't know how bad your pain is, but you always have the option of an urgent-care or ER visit.  Be warned, however, that while urgent care can sometimes offer relief in the form of injections, I've found that the increased pain from the stimuli of bright lights, scents and sounds of the ER outweigh the benefits of the medication more often than not.   I'm not a frequent urgent care or ER patient, but when I was there they treated me with an injection of Imitrex plus a pain med.  You're more likely to receive strong pain meds in the ER setting than urgent care, and only if you have a driver.  I've found that that level of pain med can be effective, but only if taken together with or in close proximity to the triptan (the Imitrex in my example).  If you have taken another triptan within 24 hours, you cannot allow the doctor/nurse/hospital to change brands/formulas on you as there may be an interaction.  If you get relief from whatever they give you, make sure you write down precisely what it was.  If it was given in the form of an injection or through the IV, it may not be available in prescription form, but your doctor may be able to suggest an alternate drug that is.  Note that the Imitrex injection is often far more effective than the pill form, so it's possible that you might want to ask for a prescription for the injectable form if you're comfortable with that if the pills don't work or try an alternate triptan such as Maxalt MLT, which works better for me than Imitrex pills.  The point is, if the first thing you try doesn't work, there are plenty of options available.

One very important point, though ... do NOT overuse pain meds.  If you take them too often, you will get something that is known as "rebound" headache.  For triptans and pain medication (including over the counter pain meds), I'm limited to 2 days per week - even though I'm a chronic daily migraine sufferer.  There are a few exceptions, including menstruation week, but even then I have to use only specific meds that are the least likely to cause rebound.  The other days I use the dark room/ice pack tricks, along with a few other relaxation techniques I've picked up along the way.  As for what works best over the counter, I'd definitely say Excedrine - hands-down.  Watch out, though ... there's caffeine in it, so you don't need both excedrine and mt. dew.  Also, make sure you limit all pain meds (including excedrine) to a MAXIMUM two days per week!  I know it's tough, but it's worth it.  Rebound migraines are terrible beasts, and having to get through them without ANY pain meds is a nightmare. You're much better off sticking to 2 days, and using the ice pack and dark sunglasses tips the other days.  

Do your migraines happen to coincide with your periods or ovulation?  If so, they may be hormonal.  If you're on birth control pills, these could be making it worse, according to some studies.  From a carefully controlled study of just myself (LOL), switching to Nuvaring (so I had a continuous low dose 24 hrs/day without fluctuation) and replacing it every 21 days with no off days helps with the menstrual migraine aspect.  Again, that's just my experience and I'm 41.  I'd definitely focus on conventional treatments first.  Also, I've found that doing what is known as a "burst" of Amerge (it's a triptan) during my menstrual week when i had one was helpful, but it meant I had to stay away from the other triptans that week.  Your doctor will know more about this.  It's just something to consider if the timing seems related to your periods.

Don't lose hope .... ditch the doctor who made light of your condition.  There are plenty out there who will take this seriously and actually treat you.  I'm proof of that.  I go to one of the nationally renowned clinics, and they take this very seriously, as have most of the other doctors I've dealt with over the years - even the ones who aren't headache or neurological specialists.  With a little perseverance, you'll find the right doctor, too.

Are you being unreasonable, you ask?  Yes.  It's not unreasonable to want your proposal to take place in-person and be at least a little romantic, and it's not unreasonable to be want something other than a courthouse wedding to secure health insurance. 

It IS unreasonable, however, to turn down a wedding proposal from the man you love and want to spend the rest of your life with - even a disappointing proposal - without being honest with him about the reason.

It IS unreasonable to pretend that your feelings haven't been hurt and you aren't supremely disappointed by the proposal and elopement suggestion, because to admit that something's wrong might add pressure while your boyfriend is finishing his degree.

It IS unreasonable to think that your rejection of his initial proposal and unwillingness to elope hasn't already caused him stress - assuming he's the caring, romantic, loving man you've told us he is at heart.

It IS unreasonable to think that you're anywhere near ready for marriage if you aren't able to say something as relatively simple as "Honey, I love you, and I can't wait to marry you, but do you really want the story of our proposal to be that you had a bad day at work so you asked me over the phone and then wanted to elope to save on heath insurance?  We're the Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus couple . . . I don't want us to be the phone proposal couple,"  without thinking it will ruin his life.

It IS unreasonable to think that you'll get the proposal/wedding you want unless you let him know what you've envisioned.  I don't know what you're looking for, but now that he's failed so miserably, you better give him a clue.  A suggested next line to follow the dialogue in my last paragraph:  "I don't care if it happens tomorrow, or next month, or next year, but when I say 'Yes' it's not going to be because it makes sense; it's going to be because you tell me you love me enough that I know you'll record SyFy shows for me for the rest of our lives." 

It IS unreasonable to step all the way around this but not mention it ... IF it's part of your disappointment (because I think I'd be disappointed not to get one, even a toy plastic one) - do you really want an ENGAGEMENT RING?  If so, please TELL HIM THAT!!!!  There's NO SHAME in that, but he'll never know and you'll regret if you don't say something.  If you want one outside his/your budget, tell him you want to wait until the two of you can afford it.  If you don't care what it costs, but you want some kind of ring, that's easy enough ... they sell plastic ones for 50 cents! (I'm not saying you have to go that cheap, just pointing out there are options that still allow for the symbol at any budget).

Don't avoid this ... the longer you put this off, the bigger disservice you are doing to each of you individually, and to your relationship on a much bigger level.  There will always be something big on the horizon.  If the two of you can't be honest with each other and seek comfort in each other - even when your pain is caused by the other's words or actions - your marriage really has very little chance of long-term success anyway.  I know you can do this.  It might be scary, but the payoff will be worth it.  This man wants to spend the rest of his life with you - he's not going to have an adverse reaction.

I'm sending you all the luck I possibly can.  I'm pulling for you like you don't even know.  It's clear that your feelings for her are genuine, and that you want this more than anything.  She'd be lucky to date someone who cares this much for her.  But she's probably close to 18, too ... and at that age girls don't always make smart choices.  We don't alway pick the great guy who will treat us well - especially if we keep talking about wanting the buff athletic guy who will sweep us off our feet.  It's just that at 18, some girls - even the nice, wonderful sweet ones - aren't ready for that great guy yet (and it has very little to do with your body or disability ... it's about an 18 year old girl just not being ready for the right guy yet). 

If you give this a try and she doesn't share your feelings, please don't feel bad or worry that you'll get an "I told you so" from anyone here.  I don't think you will.  I think you'll find that support you were hoping for in the first place.  See, most of us have been that girl, and also had our share of heartbreak ... and that's why we're trying to brace you for the possibility that things might not go the way you hope they will.  I really hope we're wrong, and only time will tell I guess. 

I've lost friendships from situations just like this, and I've strung people along for YEARS and YEARS knowing that they had feelings for me, even though I was only interested in friendship.  I didn't do it to be cruel, but in hindsight I could have saved them a lot of heartache if I'd been more upfront with them about their prospects (or lack thereof) with me.  At 40, I know how to let someone down without eviscerating their self-esteem.  At 18, I had no idea how to do that.  I guess you need to experience this - succeed or fail - for yourself.     

I know I'm showing my age here, but even in the movie it took 12 years before Harry got Sally.   I wish you success, but if you don't have it, please know that you can come back here be met with sympathy and understanding.

I think you should consider getting a 2nd opinion.  This doctor doesn't sound as though she is open to trying to find a solution to your problem, and that concerns me.  Perhaps you could go somewhere else for your next ultrasound instead and see if you like that doctor better.

Determining whether you have PCOS is important, because there are things you can do and that you should watch for related to not just the cysts, but other symptoms, including hair, weight, insulin resistance, and acne.  As for cysts, changing birth control pills to a higher dose pill can potentially help reduce the size of your cyst according to my doctor.  I've been told by my doctor that pain can be caused by cysts and by fibroids, even if you do not have endometiosis.  I have cysts and fibroids, but not endo.  I admit to not having pain, but have been told to not be surprised if I start experiencing some.  Have you been diagnosed with endometriosis? 

My best advice is to be as "normal"/laid-back as possible the next couple times you talk to him.  Do NOT bring this up again, or focus on it.  If he brings it up (he probably won't, btw), downplay it. 

In my experience, guys very rarely have an issue with any specific facts about us - however they'll often take off running if they think we've turned into insecure basket cases.  That doesn't mean you can't show your vulnerabilities, but make sure that you follow that up with multiple reminders that those are just small little pieces of you, and that the easy-going fun girl he's enjoyed spending time with is still the person he can expect to find.  Most guys can only handle the bigger revelations in small glimpses.  You gave him one the other night.  Ok.  So now show him the side he's used to, and don't let him see that you're self-conscious ... even if you are.  You haven't blown it, but letting your insecurities overwhelm you and turn you into insecure/needy girlfriend will send most guys running.

So  hold your head high, act confident (even if you aren't), and plan something fun to do with him ASAP to remind him what he likes about you best.

Hi.  There are no hard and fast rules.  Choose foods that are better for you, even if they aren't the healthiest, but keep them with your calorie allotment for the day.  Gradually try supplementing a few of those [**** dare I say it ****] "healthy" foods on occassion to see if they're as bad as you think.  Are there any other non-processed foods - such as fruits, vegetables, and proteins you could add to your diet?   I've largely modified my diet without introducing the  healthier foods I cearly need.  At times my body has craved them so much that I found mysel seeking them out!  I simply altered the quantities of my current foods, and cut out all high-calorie dessert-type foods.  I also eliminiated snack foods - substituting only saltine crackers in their place.  It removed the fun factor, but satisfied the need.  I also replaced all pop and juice with bottled water.  These changes might not have been a perfect start, but they were my start and they were better than putting the start off 2 or 3 more weeks while I researched and purchsaed the perfect meal plans.  The most important thing is to begin, and than do your best once you're here.  Try making impovements each week, but don't make them so impossible that you're sabotaging yourself and setting yourself up to fail. 

GOOD LUCK  .... YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!

What size do you wear? While I use 10 lbs per size as a MINIMUM rule, my sizes drop closer to 10-15 lbs per size, and it depends a lot on the items and the brands.  It also depends on what sizes I'm going between.  It's not a hard and fast rule by any means.  Also, it's not the same on top for me as it is on the bottom.  My size on top changes much more slowly.  That has a lot to do with how I am built.  I was just telling my step-sister 10 minutes ago that although I'm finally a 12, approaching a 10 on the bottom, the size L tops still fit the best, and even the XL tops fit really well.  I can even wear the 1x/2x tops in most cases just fine.  On the bottom, however, anything larger than an L is now too big.  That's how my weight-loss happened to distribute itself on my body.  Perhaps your weighloss is distributed differently.  Don't get discouraged!

Have you been taking measurements?  I didn't do this, but I wish I had.  If you're down 18 pounds (CONGRATS!!!! BTW), you've clearly lost a lot of inches.  Just because you still wear the same size, doesn't mean your clothes fit the same way.  My guess is that they're less tight in many areas, but due to your natural curves, you aren't ready to switch sizes yet.  Don't get caught up in the number on the label.   It's about how you look and feel in (and out) of your clothes - not what size the label has on it. 

If you used to suffer from migraines, it's certainly possible.  Even if your headache is triggered from lack of eating, it could still be a migraine.  Those of us that suffer from them know exactly how they feel - they're like nothing else in this world (thank goodness for the rest of the world!).  I'm so sorry you're experiencing them again.  The good news is that there are a lot of ways to take care of this.  You don't have to live with the pain each month as a punishment for your period. 

Top 3 tips before you get a chance to see your doctor .... ice packs, ice packs, ice packs!  The best kind are the ones they sell at the hospital that can be filled with ice and tied around an arm or leg (I use it for neck and forehead).  They conform better than the gel-packs and aren't as stark-cold against the skin, plus they stay colder longer and although they're supposed to be disposable, they refill for weeks or months.  Ice packs will give you more relief, faster, than most meds.  Also, get black-out curtains or simply a light-weight eye-mask.  Finally, find something that blocks out sound with white noise - maybe an air cleaner or sound machine.  These will greatly reduce your discomfort. 

Talk to your doctor.  If he isn't experienced with migraines (ask him if he is), ask for a referral to a neurologist.  If at all possible, find one who specializes in headaches/migraines (if you'd like to message me with your city, I'd be happy to try to help you locate someone in your area who specializes in this).  It's worth it, as they'll be able to zone right in on what you need and how best to address your problem, rather than making you try every standard protocol, even if it isn't right for you.  Since you only experience them around your period, you don't need to go on a daily preventative, as that would be overkill.  If they start to increase at some point, you might want to consider that, though.  Usually they start with anti-depressants and/or beta-blockers.  This is standard front-line treatment for daily preventative, nothing else.  Since you aren't there, though, here's what I'd recommend.  If you were getting them occassionally, but not on consecutive days, I'd suggest that you ask about Maxalt-MLT or Immitrex, if it's safe for you (I don't know your health issues).  However, while these are great at stopping migraines as soon as they come on, they can only be used 2 days per week maximum or you risk developing rebound migraines - something you certainly don't need!  If your doctor determines that triptans are safe for you to take (I'm thinking heart-related anorexia/bulimia here ... please make sure they are because there are a LOT of other options), I've found that a 4-1/2 day "burst" of Amerge works best for periods.  I think Frova works the same way.  The doctor prescribes 9 pills (insurance has been cutting it down to 6 lately, though), and you start taking them the day before your period is to start, or the 1st day you start to have that twinge, whichever is 1st, and continue for 4-1/2 days, taking it 2x per day.  It might not be perfect, but it will usually do the trick for most people. 

There are plenty of other options, and I'm sure your doctor or neurologist can lead you to them.  If a class of drugs are off-limits, don't worry - there are plenty more options.  If you were told no meds, we'd still have plenty to work with.  I'm disabled from migraines, and have been going to a nationally-renowned clinic for the last 10 years.  I've tried almost everything there is to try, and read more articles and medical journals than I care to admit.  I've also been an in-patient three times for approx 2 wks each in the head pain unit of a local hospital affiliated with the clinic trying to find an answer.  I'd be happy to help you find the resources you need, or answer any questions you might have.  I AM NOT MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL, but I'm closely approaching professinal patient status. ;-)  While I haven't found relief yet, I've watched plenty of others do so, and picked up a LOT of tricks along the way!!!!

Please make sure, though, that IF you take one of these meds and end up going to a doctor or the hospital within 24 hrs of taking it, you not only tell them, but DO NOT allow them to give you Imitrex, or ANY OTHER TRIPTAN within 24 hrs of your last dose, no matter what they say (sorry, but I've had this happen where a doctor told a nurse 2x to give me an imitrex injection within 4 hrs of my having taken Maxalt - I had to argue within her, during a severe migraine, to make sure I wasn't given the med!).

The first post in the tread is showing as Sept 15th for me.  Now that mischiefdm has mentioned laproscopic surgery, I'll have to go back and confirm whether mine was endoscopic or laproscopic.  I might be confusing 2 surgeries (I also had 2 sinus surgeries and a tonsolectomy (now that last one was NOT a fun recovery), and 1 or more of those might have been endoscopic).  In any event, my surgery consisted of 2 ports, and the instruments were inserted through the ports.

As for the OCD concerns, if you have a therapist, perhaps they can help you figure out what steps you can take to best prepare for this procedure.  Having sterile instruments inserted through ports might help put you at ease a bit in that you will not have to worry that there are open areas exposed to germs, air and contaminants during your procedure.  The nice thing about cyst and ovary removals is that there is not a lot of other anatomy right there to get in the way and get mixed up with ... so no wrong chord to snip!  Truly, I think this is a pretty fool-proof procedure in that regard.  Think about the ultrasound ... even on the rudimentary screen, there was nothing else in that area to view - just your ovary and the cyst.  As for anesthesia, I was a little worried my first time because my mother had told me all sorts of horror stories.  It turns out she had a hard time with anesthesia when she was younger and used to get sick for hours after waking.  Guess what?  They've made significant advances, and can give you a patch to wear behind your ear that will virtually eliminate any chance of nausea upon waking (btw ... my mom's had surgery since, and no longer has issues with the advances they've made!).  There are also anti-anxiety meds they can give you prior to surgery if you know you'll be anxious (which you clearly will be).  Discuss all of this with your doctor, and then again with the nurses and the aneshtesiologist at the hospital.  You'll probaby be on antibiotics after the procedure to prevent infection, so on the very off-chance some kind of "dirt" made its way into the incision, the antibiotics would fight off any infection before it could take hold.  I'd be more concerned about the odds of serious infection from a burst cyst than from contamination during surgery.  I'm someone who never been in a hospital until age 28, and never been under general anesthesia until age 34.  I'm 40, and in the last 6 years have had 3 surgeries requiring full general anesthesia, plus 2 procedures requiring something close to it.  It's funny, but while I'm still anxious whenever I have to allow my dog to go under general anesthesia for a procedure at the vet, I no longer have any qualms about going under myself for a medically-necessary procedure. 

Ironically, I have multiple drug allergies, including pain medication frequently prescribed in hospitals and one of the drugs regularly used as an anti-nausea drug in conjunction with anesthesia.  My reaction to that drug is relative mild, however I make the anesthesiologist aware of it just to be safe.  They are always extremely diligent about this, and make certain that both in the operating room and in my after-care instructions an alternate drug is prescribed.  Anesthesiologists are trained to watch for any signs of drug intollerance or allergy, and are prepared to counteract any drug quickly and effectively.  That is their job.  If you have not had drug allergies in the past, I don't think you need to worry too much that your first reaction will be to an anesthesia.  If it would put your mind at ease, though, ask to speak to the anesthesiologist (or an anesthiologist on staff, anyway) in advance, to discuss your concerns on this matter. 

My reaction if I was given the drugs I happen to be allergic to would be a rash on my chest and nasal congestion for about 24 hours on the vicodin, plus I'd be antsy and wouldn't be able to sit still for a while on the anti-nausea.  Pleasant? No.  End of the world?  No.  Has it ever happened since I realized I was allergic?  No.  I only know that this is how I'd react because it took me a while to fully connect the dots and realize I'd developed an allergy.  Once you even suspect you've had an adverse reaction to a drug, though, DO NOT TAKE IT AGAIN!  You don't know how severe your next reaction might be, and I was stupid to keep going until I was sure (this has been a public service announcement).