Posts by personaltrainer87

uhh, I have nt been to the gym or seen the trainer in ages. I have forgotten about him.

I was  really upset about how I handled him though, but that was ages ago for me - a few months is a life time ago in my life.

OH thats right hahaha!

yeah, I  had a close call with another guy recently that also sent me into a tail spin. Actually, VERY juicey stuff...  VERY pop corn worthy material....   It involved  my accidently giving out my face book page, and in turn, the guys address,  and a person from the website tried to notify the guy about the thread I started about him.

But I told the guy about it and he was cool with it.

I drunk a whole bottle of wine over it though.

I know how to act better around guys now though - you know, do not call them too much, and in my case, only have  c asual sex -    I am not capable of any intimacy or any emotional attachments to men yet. Not until I sort myself out first and learn ti love myself on the inside.

ahh, well I can hold nromal conversations with people, do well at school, and live a some what normal life, so I am nto that deluded; there is hope.

Thanks Nina, it helps me to know that just because I am slim, that being slim will not make people think I am above average.

It helps me a lot actually, because I used to think that because I am thinner than a LOT of girls I walk past daily, and because I di Pilates and have a fit body, that people would look at me and think I am attractive.

So I am glad to know that a persons body, and being thinner than the average women, does not mean I look above average to people.

I think it is a good lesson, to know that some people will find you gorgeous, others will find you average, and some people will even thin you are unnatractive.

What matters, is the people in my life who like me for who I am as a person, and the  guys in the future who WILL think I look beautiful.

I do not want a relationship any time soon because I have too many issues to work through - I have to develop my personality more before I am ready to be with another person.

However, some guys will think I am gorgeous, while others wont, and me, as with ALL of you,  will find at least some guys who find us to be beautiful looking.

I am not in love with my appearance actually - there are things I do not like about the way I look, however, I do not focus on them because It serves no purpose.

I have things about me that I like, so I focus on what I like, not what I don't like.

And about the scale comment from the other poster -  I actually threw the scales off my balony  when i was drunk. I do not intend to get knew ones.

ANd no I am not a big drinker.

Oh whatever -     this is a website, and I type very fast, so I do not care about speaking correctly and about the lack of spelling.

I type too fast and do not care enough about what strangers think about my apptitude in literacy.    I am intelligent in my own way,  and got good marks at school, so even if I am  poor in my grammar and in how I articulate my self in the written form,  I still do not have a low IQ, and simply have areas that I am not gifted in.

And I abhore people who complain  about grammar and spelling.   Get over it - some people are not good at spelling or writing, and it is nasty of you to have to point it out.

.. I just wanna know who finds me attractive - because I am fit and healthy looking theese days and think I look good.

Iam happy with the way I look,  regardless of what others think.

I am proud I am a healthy and fit looking, and just wanted to know if others agree.

Wow.  I sure didn't expect that from Fidget -  but thanks a lot:)

I wish I was in a good position to give other ED sufferers advice, and one day I hope I am. Unfortunately, my desire to be thin is stronger than ever. I am not " better" yet .

I have moved places, and have yet to go out and make friends really - I tried a couple of jobs, but the fact that I am not currently studying and have no social life, made me want to turn back to thinness to deal with life - since it was easier than getting friends, jobs, and being normal. There was also a thing with a guy that motivated me to want to lose weight.

Fortunately, I start studying full time in Feb,  where I will also be around young people most days - to get " better", I need to have a life where there is more to it than just my body. I will be able to derive a sense of self worth through other things.

Basically, once I start living a different sort of life - one with more people in it, and one where I achieve things BESIDES having a good body - THEN I can start forgetting about thinness; I will get to a point where I do not NEED to use thinness to feel good.

I know perfectly well what I am doing though - I use the fact that I have a good body to derive my entire self worth from, which is not a healthy long term way to feel happy. I need other things besides attaining a good body ( obviously).

It could take a long time to get there,  but at least I don't go giving advice to people with EDs any more - I realize I am not comming from the healthiest mind set - I wish people all the best though.

I know what needs to be done in my case, and I was compelled to just tell this poster to just get on with things and to stop talking about it - that is what I plan to do.

Unless new people recovering ask genuine questions on food intake, a lot of people KNOW what they need to do, and talking about it tends to feed their ED and their obsession to talk about it/food related things.

I certainly hope that I will not be comming back here often when I start studying. 

The " real Leigh" still has a long way to go before she developes - I won't accept the real me as being purely about my body, with no other substance to them lol -   I have a long way to go before I reach a good version of " leigh".

right now I am just a " work in progress"

I'm done here. May as well start now - no more cc this year. Plenty of other forums online that are not food related.

All I ask is that I pass my first year at Uni, and manage to be normal enough for some people to want to be around me as friends.

Perhaps in a years time I can actually come back and give some advice.

bye.

I got chronic insomnia by becoming underweight, too. As do MANY people who become underweight.

I am at a healthy weight ( for me) now, and I DO sleep better than I previously have; I do not need to take meds to FALL asleep, but my body is stuck in the particular cycle/ patterns of sleep.

I seldom sleep longer than about 4 hours - 4 hours is the most I sleep for in one block. But I do end up going back to sleep when I wake up - albiet, it can take an hour or more on bad occasions.

All up, I get roughly 6 hours sleep, sometimes more though, and occasionally less ( but my body will catch up the next night)

You won't sleep until you gain weight. I gained a little weight from my previous lows ( which btw, were not 10 lbs underweight - more like 5 lbs, and it still caused bad insomnnia, so imagine what 10 lbs underweight can do)

ONCE you gain weight, THEN the following advice may help ( this was suggested by my doctor)

 -Even when you get a cr@ppy nights sleep, you STILL must get out of med by 9.am.    Get up, read a book, do something, but DO NOT sleep in past 9, excapt for weekends of course:) Every one deserves a treat lol, in whatever form - for me, it is the occasional sleep in!

 - If you can be bothered, get some natural sunlight on you before 9.am or close after 9.am - getting out in natural light is best, my doctor said.

- Even when you cannot sleep, stay in bed and watch TV; do something that does not involve much light or stimulation.

 - DO NOT get into the pattern of eating when you cannot sleep; even once you reach a healthy weight, you may be stuck in the night eating cycle

Unfrotunately, NOTHING will help, until you gain weight. Your problem is going to occur every night, until you gain, that is for certain.

The good news, is that once you gain some weight, you can put some of those tipc in to place and finally get some sleep!

it DOES get better;   earlier this year, I would lay awake until 5 .am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! &nb sp;               I could. NOT. SLEEP.

The anxiety I experienced over my weight made it worse;  I was not tha underweight actually, but I had a fear of gaining weight one day, and my abnormal mental state caused ANXIETY.

I now actually sleep!  Without meds!  ONCE I am tired and feel like sleep, I normally fall asleep within an hour, or even half hour if I am very tired.

The fact I am ABLE to fall asleep, is a miracle;  I seriously did not know how to fall asleep ealier this year. I just could not fall asleep.

So you may not be able to just fall asleep easily, and for 8 hours straight as soon as you gain weight.

I have gained the weight, back to where I was healthy, and my progress so far is :  I can FALL asleep, without using meds!   And Even though I wake up after 2 - 4 hours, I can then fall BACK asleep again. Without meds.

So, from my personal experience;  I am still not a good sleeper, however,  I can actually FALL asleep eventually, although it takes way longer than normal people to fall asleep most of the time.

Again - when I am tired I can usually fal asleep faster; where as, once I wake up after the first 2 - 4 hours, it is either easy or hard to fall back asleep; regardless, I can do it without meds. Sometimes I cannot fall back to sleep easily though.

That is my story about my insomnia, that was largely caused by me being underweight for 2 years.

I am just happy I can fall asleep at all.  I was seriously thinking of just.... I just did not want to live when I lay awake literally all night. It was utter hell.

We are telling u what you need to hear.

ED'S are self absorbing things...........   it is very common to talk about food/make food/ watch food shows/ and talk to other people about hwo they should recover, whilst not gaining weight yourself.

You have tremendous potential as a person, seeing as you have the strength of character to take on the advice of basically " shutting up and gaining weight". That is what we r telling u, and u r resmponding with " okay, yes I will shut up and gain weight before I start talking about this subject again".

Seriously - well done. A lot of people cannot be open to such advice.

Let us know when you start gaining weight! Come find the thread and update us with some good news:) That is what we want to hear; not about your good intentions.

Best of luck!