Posts by phoebe_luvs_smallville

Original Post by kotov_syndrome:

i'm a little ashamed to admit that i thought this thread was going to be about something entirely different.

haha, me too!

Original Post by techdog:

Do conures count?

We have one named Kori, who loves peanut butter and starts to dance everytime I make one (encouraged no doubt by me singing the peanut butter sandwich song that I learned from Raffi when my kids were little).

He calls everyone in the house Nia (my daughter's name) and if you ignore him, he likes to squawk out something that sounds like "Whatcha doing?" and for some reason, he is terrified of the color red unless one of us is wearing it (he goes beserk everytime I walk past with anything that is predominantly red...laundry baskets, Macy's bags, a santa stuffed toy...you name it.)  He also "barks" at us to get our attention, has a cowbell toy that he sometimes wears on his head and lately has learned to dump out his seeds dish when all that is left is hulls and millet.

We have had him for 5 or 6 years now.  Almost lost him once, when he escaped from the house.  Amazingly, however, my daughter was out two days later, putting up posters to see if anyone had seen him and he spotted her and started calling her name from his perch on a neighbor's roof, and after coaxing him down with a peanut butter sandwich, he was safely returned to his cage.

Hope to have him for many, many years to come.

 That's what mine is. Trixie is a cinnamon green cheek conure. Although I'm beginning to think Trixie is a boy. Wish I'd named him/her a gender-neutral name, lol. Trixie says "Trixie, Becca, Brandon" and "What".  Lately "birdy" is getting thrown in there too.

  From what I've read and so far through my experience; GCC have quite a short fuse. They can be cuddly one minute, but "boy oh, boy" they can be easily offended and nip.

  In about 6 weeks I'm getting a Sun Conure. This is Sunni. Eventually she/he will look like this.

  What kind of conure is Kori?

Original Post by kikt:

Be glad you didn'T have a robot vaccum to spray it all over the walls - I read that on dogshaming. com. 

I had enough fun trying to scrape the stuff out of the gaps in between my floorboards using an old toothbrush in the good old Housetraining Time.

I still would mcuh rather do that than smell human feces on my pooch - and the little pest loves that stuff!

Eeww. Funny, but disgusting. 

Some parrots can be "potty trained" to poop on demand.  Trixie does. She still has to be taken back to the cage top to poop every 20 minutes or so, otherwise she will have accidents.

Original Post by theviewfromhere:

they're also freaking noisy.

 That's the best part for me! But then, I grew up with 12 peacocks, chickens & ducks on a farm.

Original Post by kikt:

Hi phoebe!  Merry belated Christmas. 

I have no parrot, the only cute video I can link to is this one. (surprise, surprise it's about my pooch)

How are you??

Merry belated Christmas!  Your doggie's adorable! They grow so fast, eh?  I'm doing well, thanks.  This you will surely scoff at: I'm bemoaning the drastic change in this area's usual tropical-like weather from the typical winter 60's-70's Fahrenheit to 27 overnight. Plus the heater went on the fritz, but all is well now.

 The wall...formerly one of the walls from husband's video store. My bookshelf is in my bedroom.

 How are you kikt? Are you in England or Germany, nowadays?

edit: That's a heavenly field to play in. Even for homosapiens.

Original Post by crazineko:

You are making this too complicated.  File a police report and go to your mothers' place with your children.  Get a restraining order.  Stop making excuses about money.  Physical abuse is not okay.  You know this.

I know mental illness makes it amazingly difficult for people to think of anyone other than themselves, but for God's sake, this is the type of environment you are raising your children in?  

  Been there, done that. We lived 7 months with my mother. At this point I am caught between a domineering, religious fanatic of a (guess what?)- verbally abusive mother and my spouse.

I AM selfish. I'm not ready to throw away the 5 years I've been waiting for us to have enough $$ to send my high functioning autistic son to this school, because Eddie cheated and because his physical abuse made itself present (after years of being away) AFTER I found out about the affair. He has been mentally abusive throughout the 20 years we've been together. Now finally, after the therapy, that seems to be abating.

  He has slapped me and shoved me a couple of times, but never in front of the kids. And, "No," that's not okay. Not by any means. Which is why we're going to marriage counseling again today and he's going to ask about anger management classes.

  Also, I'm selfish because I know I suffer from mental illness and because I know I need life-long treatment (medication and therapy).  Right now, at this moment...I'm not mentally capable of living by myself. Not yet. Maybe someday I will be, but I'm not. Not right now.

Original Post by nomoreexcuses:

Original Post by phoebe_luvs_smallville:

 It's easy for you to say, "Well...she should do this or that and this is all her fault".  I'm just trying to survive day by day and find a reason to keep living and grow stronger, a bit at a time. If I didn't have children I would leave this world in a split second, without hesitation. It is too painful. People are cruel. There is too much suffering and my heart aches from it all.

  Most of all...I hate phoebe. My therapist who retired was trying to help me learn to love her but I don't. I hate myself. Every part of me, except the compassion. I have endless compassion, especially for kids and animals.

  I'm naive and stupid. I know this, "viewfromhere". You don't have to remind me because I remind myself everyday. 

I'm so sorry that you're feeling like this. I have been there.  I've often thought that my daughter saved my life.  The only reason I didn't kill myself (when I was severely clinically depressed) was because I couldn't bear the thought of her suffering - that without me, as bad as I thought I was, there might not be an adult who would love her enough, or take good enough care of her.

Thank God I survived long enough to get well! I'm so glad I haven't missed out on everything since then.  Even the "bad" things that happened in my life - I'm glad for them too.  I learned a lot during the difficult times.

All that self-hate talk - that's depression talking.  You can't believe it. It's a liar. I promise you that you are a beautiful soul with gifts to share that are yet unrealized. Please don't give up on yourself. You're worth the effort. You really are.

I don't have BPD or PTSD (just a tendency to become depressed). But I hope you will open your heart to what I'm telling you.  You can get well.  It won't be easy.  But it will be worth it.

Feel free to PM me anytime.  {{{{phoebe}}}}

Aww, thank you nomo.

Original Post by kathygator:

Your kids love Phoebe.

And what an honor it is to be loved by such wonderful and extraordinary human beings! To be able to say these, these I have made - these creatures come from me.

You must love yourself, Phoebe, if only because you want your children to have faith in their own ability to love. You want them to love openly and with full hearts, and never have to question their judgment, or avoid love out of fear.

Love your compassion, love your courage and love yourself. You are their best example of how to love oneself, don't fail them, honey.

 

This is so beautiful, kg. They need their mommy. Even if their mommy is fd up. Thank you.

Original Post by theviewfromhere:

Original Post by cajunrider:

Original Post by theviewfromhere:

and this is why all women should live alone at some point in their lives.

Phoebe already has. She's kicked him out a few times already. She knows she's capable of being on her own. She knows her fear is irrational.

if this were true she wouldn't have taken him back.

  It's so easy for you to judge me because you haven't walked in my shoes and your frame of reference is completely different. You may not suffer from mental illness. Do you have Borderline Personality Disorder, Anxiety Disorder and PTSD and possibly Bipolar II? Were you abused as a child?

 These are what I battle everyday with pills, pills and pills...all the while trying to fit into a "normal" world in which I have felt I was a true part of. At 8 years old I suffered from severe depression. There was no "Eddie" there at the time.

 It's easy for you to say, "Well...she should do this or that and this is all her fault".  I'm just trying to survive day by day and find a reason to keep living and grow stronger, a bit at a time. If I didn't have children I would leave this world in a split second, without hesitation. It is too painful. People are cruel. There is too much suffering and my heart aches from it all.

  Most of all...I hate phoebe. My therapist who retired was trying to help me learn to love her but I don't. I hate myself. Every part of me, except the compassion. I have endless compassion, especially for kids and animals.

  I'm naive and stupid. I know this, "viewfromhere". You don't have to remind me because I remind myself everyday. 

Original Post by catwalker:

Original Post by theviewfromhere:

it's not a disorder that i've ever heard of.

and even if it is - so what? just because he has a disorder doesn't mean you're obligated to put up with the behaviour.

if you stay, it's because you choose it, so make sure you're clear that that's what it is: a choice, freely made.

Phoebe, I think it's very important that you realize that if you stay with him, it's because you choose to do so. It seems to me you've already chosen to stay and are working feverishly to rationalize and justify this choice.

 Maybe I am, kitty cat. You're probably right.