Posts by projectapril

I had this 100%!  glad it wasn't just me.  I always had that sense of "snapping back and forth" with how I look, even by just blinking my eyes.  I also noticed that I would think/see it in other people too, especcially people that I compared myself to or was jealous of.

i don't know if there's a way to cure this other than by helping your own body and brain by recovering, but don't think you're alone in this situation.

that IS totally normal.  don't worry.

your body has been starving for so long that now that it's getting what it needs, it's holding onto all water and such incase you starve again.  If you keep eating 2500 at a steady pace, your body will very soon see that you're not going to starve anytime soon (hopefully!) and will relax.  if you do this for a few months, your body will trust you so much more that weight will fully redistribute and you will be far more comfortable with food and how you look.  the longer you eat lots and the more you eat, the more you and your body will relax into a happy, healthy lifestyle.

Original Post by broaster07:

Hi projectapril:

Thank you for your reply.  I may have been a bit vague; my point was not for izzie not to overload her system with food. 

I had a friend who had gastric bypass and her stomach would reject too much food and she would vomit the excess.  This also occurred with Prisoners of War when they were first exposed to regular amounts of food after a starvation diet. 

You sound very knowledgeable and you gained your knowledge through experience.  My knowledge is second hand and academic.  I practice naturopathy, but have had no experience first hand.

Liz, again, best of luck to you.

 thanks for taking me "i dont agree with you" so well.  reading my post again, i realized that i had been a bit rude to you.  sorry for that.

you have a point with the dont stuff yourself thing.  that sounds pretty bad.  i suppose that it's just striking the balance with how much to eat right?  :)

first of all, full recovery and healing takes about six months, so you have a while until there is "nothing wrong with you".  i highly highly advise reading hedgren's entire first post from this link http://caloriecount.about.com/helping-starvat ion-mode-down-ft170153  it is super helpful and accurate.  this is the schedual of how you will recover.

by the time recovery is done, your brain itself will also heal and you will be able to look at yourself and reality without that warped ED version blocking your view.  trust me, you want this.  really.  to be able to laugh and play and enjoy life and eat what you want but know you look good and healthy and be able to workout when you want and just have fun!

now, why do you want to have something wrong with you? think about it.  what is the reason?  a steriotype (which i hate) about people with EDs is that they do it just for attention.  in a few cases, this could be true.  i know that for me, i did it to hope that someone would be able to understnad the hurting part of me.  now, it could not be for "attention" (gosh, how i hate that steriotype) but i might be for someone to recognize something about you.  a feeling you want people to connect to you through.

do you really want all that negetivity?  the pain, the coldness, the tears, the stares, the misunderstandings, the discomfort, the self-hatred, the loss of connection to the people you love and the loss of love itself.  is this how you want to live the one single life you have?

i am in no way saying that it is your fault that you feel like this.  i did too.  but you have to try as hard as you can to take control of your ED.  it does NOT rule you.  it is not who you are.  you need to break free of it by pushing through and shoving it away.  the more you tell yourself "i need to eat this or not exercise or not purge because it will heal me and take the badness i feel away"  and as you heal, and as ED shrinks in fear of your courage, you will start to feel better and everything in recovery will be not only easier, but normal.  it will be normal for you to eat what and when you want.

this does not mean that your life is stripped of the, pardon my adjective, "excitment" of having an ED.  when i had my ED, i did think of it as exciting.  for me, it was something to focus on and work for.  but i had everything wrong.

now that i am free of it, i can enjoy so much more that life was meant for.  school, friends, parties, cooking, reading, writing, running, having crushes and just enjoying my days is so clear and easy now.

it takes time, it takes unimaginable effort.  you will have good days and bad days.  just dont give up.  ever ever ever

i hope that you can get through this.  good luck

Hi! It’s so so nice to see someone taking the courage to
head for recovery.  This is the first
step in a lifechanging journey.

A)    
This is one of the worst things anyone with food
problems can think.  Even anorexics with
BMIs of 12 often have thoughts that they are “not sick enough” to get
help.  It is a common thought that comes
with the sickness and is only ED’s way of keeping you from being healthy.  Why would you ever want to wait until you ARE
underweight and have a minset that will be so much worse to get out of? Get help
now, while you still have the courage to. 
I wont get into the whole thing, but scientists are more and more
thinking of EDs as a mental rather than physical problem.  The weight is just a symptom that comes when
ED takes hold fully. Don’t get to that stage.

B)     
Where i live, all conselors legally HAVE to keep
anything you tell them confidential and do their best to get you help.  Now, i don’t mean to be a downer, but as far
as you’ve told us, this counsellor isn’t specialized in EDs.  If they give you any big advice about what to
eat or do, i’d post here and ask this community if it’s really ok.  The counsellor will probably try to get you
in touch with a specialist (your parents might need to become involved) to help
you. TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY.  A dietician
who works with EDs will be the biggest help you’ll ever get.

       &nb sp;        about you parents, i hope
i don’t offend when i say this but i want to be straightforward: this is YOUR
problem, and YOUR choice and getting help is a very good choice.  The counsellors are THERE FOR YOU to talk
with you and involve your parents only when needed or wanted.  Your parents should understand.  Try and explain that the counsellor was the
most available, easy and helpful option for you to get rid of this stupid ED.

C)     
I hope so badly that you can get rid of this
soon! Best of luck!

that sounds terrible.  in recovery (which i think is nearly over for me!) i had similar issues and bouts of ortherexia (do you know the term? look it up if you dont).

it took a long while of ups and downs, but i now feel that i can eat WHATEVER and WHENEVER i want and just enjoy it like a normal person.  i think that what got me past my controlling my food was to control myself.

i forced myself to stop using this site to track calories and micronutrients, which lessoned my obsessing with it.  i forced myself not to look up the nutritent facts of the foods i ate.  when i was choosing foods, i would sit still for a moment, close my eyes (if other people weren't around), and think about how i felt.  i would first think of how my toes felt, wiggle them, then think about how my ears felt, then my neck, then my knees.  then i would think about how my tummy felt and think about the food i really craved.  What would satisfy my hunger? if i could eat ANYTHING what would it be? what would make me happy?  then i would eat/order that no matter how scared of it i was.

i continued this routine every time i felt unsure about food.  toes, ears, neck, knees, hunger.  toes ears neck knees hunger.  toes ears neck knees hunger.  and i taught myself to eat what i really wanted.

this way of forcing yourself might not work for you.  it might make you panic, hate yourself or it could just be too hard.  this was just a method i made up for myself with my personal needs and issues in mind.  if you want, you can try it.  if it doesn't work, i hope that you can find soemthing that does.

don't worry about food so much.  it will not ruin your life or even really change your life.  but your life will change if you eat what makes you happy.  good luck

other than these two things that people have covered:...
1. loose those silly diuretics that will make this all worse
2. eat whatever you want even if you're tummy isnt "empty"

...there is one main thing i really want you to understand.  do you remember that post i copied for you in one of my first posts on another of your threads? it was by hedgren and explained how recovery works.

reread it if you can find it.  it explains how the bloating will go away if you're consistant and then after it leaves, the weight you gained will redistribute to normal placed and most likely some "womanly" spots that will make you look great! it also explains that after your body reached its specific set weight (nothing a website or even doctor can figure out or prescribe), you will be able to eat like 3000 a day and NOT GAIN (much if any) WEIGHT.  it's all in that article.

i'm rooting for you! keep at it and dont fall to any of those silly "quick fixes"

you keep asking questions after we give answers.  don't avoid what you know: you can't recover properly by using these pills.  they can KILL you! they can take away your life just like your ED could.

you need to recovery properly in the healthy way.  like i said before, your body will balance itself out if you are nice to it and give it the energy it needs.  please don't let your ED plauge your mind anymore

stop stop STOP!  you are going in circles and even though it's not your fault, it makes me really mad.  you are totally distracting yourself from the point!

i guess it just upsets me sicne i just got out of that stage.  i promise and swear to you with all my heart that if you keep eating, and make yourself not care as best you can, the food will not only heal your body, but also you MIND.  ED thoughts will go away and you will be truly happy.  that has just happened for me and I am having feelings that i can't remember having since years ago it seems.  i mean like laughing with friends and really having fun, of swimming at the beach and not thinking about how many calories i'm burning, of doing a hobbie instead of obsessive food things.  it's REAL living!

i struggled really badly with the "00 problem" too.  you just have to realize that you are a HUMAN BEING and you will grow.  you don't fit into the clothes you wore when you were five do you?  and you are still growing now, you are not yet a full grown adult 

another thing, if you read that article i gave you in my first post, you'd know that this weight you're gaining is needed and normal and that it will balance out.  the article also says that really determined recovering people eat up to 9000 calories a day.  it is great that you're eating over 3000! you're doing a wonderful job.  the numbers do not matter! as long as you are giving your body the energy it need to heal, you're doing great! every calorie extra that you give your body, means just that much closer to having this recovery done and to be a better, healthier, happier person.

let the numbers go.  and as hard as it sounds, if you use the willpower, strength and determination that we all know you have, you can beat this and become the beautiful, healthy woman you should be.  you are better than this! let ED fall and stomp it to the ground! be strong and fight it! just keep letting yourself eat more and i swear that your mind, body and sense of wellbeing and life will balance out like it should.  don't let the bumps in the road make you turn back, keep on going, and you'll reach your goal.  don't distract yourself from health any longer.

i know you can do it! stay strong!

the biggest thing to remember is that overeating and emotional eating disorders are NOT even on the same disorder spectrum as anorexia and bulumia.  It would be very difficult to switch from an undereating disorder to an overeating disorder.  this wont ruin or rule your life, it will simply give your body the energy to fight off all those bad thoughts.  give your body the right amount of energy it needs