I strugle with my weight since I was a teenager. I was never considered over weighted , but for sure i was always carrying some extra pounds. 

When I was 19, I started taking Amphetamines to loose weight. Every cycle on those pills i would drop all the weight I wanted, but as soon I stopped taking them, in few months I would gain everything back and some more.

I have been on this roller coaster for almost 10 years. And because the supply of those pills were endless, I never lost a single pound on a regular diet.

To me was always the two extremes. When I was on the pills, I didn't eat anything. And when I was off them, I ate anything on site. Not to mention the constant binging episodes.

I always thought that because I could always get more pills, I could allow myself to binge. Off course that after the binging episodes, i always felt terrible. Deep down I did'nt want to use those pills. But in my head they were the only way to get rid of my weight.

Last year (2011), was my last cycle on those pills. I started taking them on January until May. I  lost 18 lbs,and my weight was 130 lbs. 

The problem was that now i moved to the US, and here I don't have the easy acess to those pills. And guess... I gained everyhting back. 

From June to December i packed the 18 lbs I lost. 

When I weighted myself on December and I saw that my weigh was increasing fast. I decided to make the change of my life.

I realized how this whole thing affects my life. Is not normal to loose and gain weight the way I do. 

One month I was skinny and 2 months later my clothes would't fit me anymore.

Right now I have a closet full of clothes, but i can only fit in 1 pair of my jeans.

I promised myself that I will learn how to eat healthy and loose the weight I want without any pills.

It will be hard, but I had enough of not feeling good about my habits.

My goal is to reach 125 lbs. The road ahead me will be long and hard.

But i decided to take the first step.