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|1 complete month dieting!
Entry on Feb 05 2012 09:59
I strugle with my weight since I was a teenager. I was never considered over weighted , but for sure i was always carrying some extra pounds.
When I was 19, I started taking Amphetamines to loose weight. Every cycle on those pills i would drop all the weight I wanted, but as soon I stopped taking them, in few months I would gain everything back and some more.
I have been on this roller coaster for almost 10 years. And because the supply of those pills were endless, I never lost a single pound on a regular diet.
To me was always the two extremes. When I was on the pills, I didn't eat anything. And when I was off them, I ate anything on site. Not to mention the constant binging episodes.
I always thought that because I could always get more pills, I could allow myself to binge. Off course that after the binging episodes, i always felt terrible. Deep down I did'nt want to use those pills. But in my head they were the only way to get rid of my weight.
Last year (2011), was my last cycle on those pills. I started taking them on January until May. I lost 18 lbs,and my weight was 130 lbs.
The problem was that now i moved to the US, and here I don't have the easy acess to those pills. And guess... I gained everyhting back.
From June to December i packed the 18 lbs I lost.
When I weighted myself on December and I saw that my weigh was increasing fast. I decided to make the change of my life.
I realized how this whole thing affects my life. Is not normal to loose and gain weight the way I do.
One month I was skinny and 2 months later my clothes would't fit me anymore.
Right now I have a closet full of clothes, but i can only fit in 1 pair of my jeans.
I promised myself that I will learn how to eat healthy and loose the weight I want without any pills.
It will be hard, but I had enough of not feeling good about my habits.
My goal is to reach 125 lbs. The road ahead me will be long and hard.
But i decided to take the first step.
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