Posts by silentdeadlyrose

Whenever I hear Barry Manilow, all I can think of is John Bender in "The Breakfast Club" asking, "Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?"

I only have one. A Celtic cross with roses and vines wrapped around it. It's on my left back shoulder. I seriously want more, but the cost is outrageous. I luckily got my first one free from a friend that is a tattoo artist. It was during an awesome trip I took with some friends so it also holds a lot of great memories for me.

If I can save enough I am seriously considering getting one on my wrist that symbolizes eating disorder recovery. I bet that is going to be one hell of a painful spot!

Original Post by caloricat:

Original Post by silentdeadlyrose:

Not going to rate you based on a number. (I find it a tad bit immature.) 

HEY!!!

I resemble that remark.

Hehehe. Just saying my opinion.

Thank you!

I am in this situation right now. AGAIN. My Anorexia started 7 years ago then it turned into BED during recovery and I've been a yo-yoer ever since.  Maintenance is a real biznitch. Lmao.

I was doing good on the non binging until about the end of October after almost a year binge free. Currently the last couple of months have been bad. I have at least two binges a week, this past week it was 3 days. It really messes with the mind. I have now gained 11 pounds and I'm not happy about it after already been a healthy weight. It's frustrating to find myself here again.

I cut my workouts down, I always eat to my maintenance and yet, some days and nights I'm still reaching for the food like it's a compulsion. I get upset, I get bored, I get lonely and there is the junk food in the house (thanks to my damn sweets addicted family.) it goes from one piece of a mini candy bar, to 20. A spoon and a whole jar of PB afterwards, little debbie cake packs, to bread. You get the jist. And i sit there thinking, I'm not depriving myself, I'm certainly not starving myself or overdoing the exercise, so why am I doing this to myself?

I can't really tell you what can cure it, other then stay busy. If I'm out and about or have things going on I can't think about the binging. Unfortunately, now it's been pretty idle for me and idle grounds are dangerous ones and at this point I really can't do anything about it.

All I can say is, if you slip to only forgive yourself and try again the next day. It's all you really can do.

I have MANY, but to make this list short the top one that comes to mind is:

"Labyrinth."

Congrats! You look great! There is a difference. I have to admit, I am a totally straight girl but even I have to admit you are one hot momma. Lmao!

Some things can't be changed due to lack of money. It's nice to have new everything, but not everyone has the finances for it.

Then there are those out there that find something wrong with everything, can you imagine if they had the money to "fix" it all? It would be another Michael Jackson case.

I do agree with changing attitude, but some people have been suffering for years or perhaps have had verbal abuse since a young age against themselves. It's not something that changes right away. It takes a long time.

Yep. I've even been accused of having BDD. I've always had this hate relationship with myself. I tend to see flaws and point them out before anyone else would ever notice them just because I feel I should say something before they do!

I'm also in recovery for an ED so it's pretty typical as it is a self loathing illness where you want to strive for perfection but nothing is ever good enough.

It's a very rare occasion where I actually may think I look good, very RARE..but when I do, I treasure those days. Ha Ha.

I guess I'm the type who remembers every criticism I've gotten, but when someone compliments me it goes in one ear and out the other. It's sad, but true.

As I've gotten older I've gotten better with it and it gets better each year, but I still have a long way to go before I can honestly say I am fully comfortable in my own skin.