suzushii

Posts by suzushii


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Forum Topic Date Replies
The Lounge 407 lb woman denied airplane flights Nov 28 2012
12:04 (UTC)
31

Why did she travel overseas (a risk in and of itself, 9+ hour flights are very bad for circulation, can provoke trombosis even in seemingly healthy people with risk factors) when she was so sick? 

The fact of the matter is on the way back the seatbelt didn't fit her anymore. In the case of an accident, she would be a danger to the rest of the passangers, if she could not be properly seated. Imagine even a small accident where the airplane breaks abruptly. Loose weight + ping pong effect in the airplane => multiple casualties.

Any emergency hospital assistance would be freely given in Hungary, it's a modern country. 

The Lounge Babies aren't cute. Nov 16 2012
09:55 (UTC)
68

You're neither a monster, nor is everybody else faking it.

 

I find some kids cute (especially mixed race kids, some of them can have the most interesting features). I however find puppies way WAYYYYY cuter. Some kids can be cute, but a puppy? Imagine having 5 children next to you....and then imagine having 5 Lab puppies.

 

 

 

 

 

The Lounge Best place for new clothes (female)- on a budget? Nov 08 2012
08:32 (UTC)
16

Ebay. Focus on clothes which are new, but the owner decided it doesn't suit them anymore. Often on sale for 1$. Since there are so many, you rarely need to aution higher then 2-5$

The Lounge Some people Nov 06 2012
12:26 (UTC)
4

I know people of the type. Everything is not their fault, the world has wronged them, people close to them never do enough, whine, whine whine.

Congrats to your sister for losing the dead weight!

 

The Lounge Living in Moment Nov 05 2012
12:46 (UTC)
5

I used to not be able to fully relax, and had lots of stress. During work, I would hate it and want to relax, and at home I would think about work to the point of not being able to sleep, or waking up early worrying about my projects.

I finally decided one day that once I am at work, apart from 5 minutes specific break time, I am in work mode. And at home, I act like work does not exist. As soon as the forbidden thought pops in my head, I immediatelly distract myself with something else.

It had done heaps to my state of mind.

The Lounge Foreign Exchange student... Oct 30 2012
16:24 (UTC)
11

You have to understand how difficult it is to speak a foreign language for 95% of the day. I moved to Germany, and while I tried to speak German (fourth language) as soon as I could, I often switched to my main foreign language (English) because lots of people speak it. It was so difficult, it gave me migraines for a few weeks because I had to concentrate on everything - what I said, how to walk around. Heck, it took me several days at the supermarket of just looking at labels to get my bearings straight. 

Give the kid a break, those few minutes are the mental relaxation she needs to be able to get back to learning English.

There is a point after which any sort of input (english immersion) just doesn't go through because your brain cells are maxxed out on what they can soak in.  

The Lounge We have a long way to go yet Oct 26 2012
07:34 (UTC)
1

What a stupid thing to do. This will affect all her future relationships, or the chance of getting into a normal one, when the prospective guy googles her, and discovers she prostituted herself.

The Lounge michael vick got a dog. Oct 26 2012
07:31 (UTC)
27

The same way a person who got convicted of abusing children cannot work with children even if reformed, the same way this dude shouldn't be able to own a dog. Even if he now is all 'I'm ok now'. Taking care of an animal is not a right, more like a priviledge, and he should have lost it forever.

The Lounge mom in college Oct 23 2012
09:10 (UTC)
9

Props for taking criticism gracefully!

 

Please try to consider that while your mum has to be there for you, she is also her own person, and she should also have the ability to enrich her own life. Don't be jealous of your brother, your mum will be there for you in the future too.

As for independence, sadly, this is something that only you can learn, your parents can't give you this, by definition. I know it feels scary, but your life will be so much better by having to learn it now rather than later. In 5 years you will most likely be out of the house, have a job, go to school, and manage your finances, your chores, and a million other responsibilities. It can be very hard if you're not used to it. What I recommend (if you already do any of this, then skip over): clean up for yourself, and also for others (in this way you help the family), learn to cook different things, and learn to manage money to buy groceries per week, do chores like paying bills, take your brother to school and stuff. And above all, just for yourself, learn to make sure that you do all you set up to do. If you forget things, write them down, if you postpone them, make a checklist with a by date system. If you slack around, try to reduce it. 

And try not to feel bad about being poor either. I know it sucks, but by not having a lot now, you will appreciate everything much more later. Wealth just makes you jaded. 

The Lounge only in america Oct 23 2012
09:04 (UTC)
9
Original Post by catwalker:

Life really is shorter around stupid relatives.

heehee

The Lounge - Oct 22 2012
17:39 (UTC)
51
Original Post by catwalker:

I read the article about 6-8 months ago. Kind of fascinating. The research involved numbers of brothels, arrests for prostitution as a percentage of population, and something else, which escapes me right now. I'll see if I can find it.

The research did show that the more sexual repression present in a society, particularly towards women, that more prostitution and other sexual crimes were increased.

Except one important aspect of why so many women were protitutes has nothing to do with sexual repression, and everything to do with economics. Women could not get educated, and could not perform most jobs, or were not allowed to. Many laws regarding property ownership completely bypassed them. As a result, a woman not in a marriage was basically destitute and her only possible source of income came from, you guessed it, prostitution. 

As a result, just in London, the influx of such a ridiculous number of prostitutes pretty much brought down the price to less than a man would spend on a loaf of bread. Many destitute women became addicted to alchohol, so as a result, you could even buy one with the promise of a glass of liquor. 

The Lounge - Oct 22 2012
17:33 (UTC)
52
Original Post by solid555:

Original Post by 4p4c:

"Slower", less technologically developed societies had a higher incidence of fidelity in monogamous r-ships so I'm wondering how technology, population growth and "status anxiety" has impacted this modern day phenomena.

"According to the Ethnographic Atlas Codebook, of 1,231 societies noted, 186 were monogamous. 453 had occasional polygyny, 588 had more frequent polygyny, and 4 had polyandry."

So polyandry (one woman with multiple men) is the least common, followed by monogamy, and polygyny (one man with multiple women) is by far the most common.

In "The Moral Animal" Robert Wright makes an interesting argument comparing polygyny, monogamy, and serial monogamy. He makes a compelling case that the worst of the three is serial monogamy, which is what we have today.

Considering ancient societies routinely subjugated women to second class citizens, or worse (in ancient Greece even, women had no citizen rights) I wouldn't draw any conclusions of what people want, given freedom to do so.

Out my admitted limited knowledge of ancient societies, many if not all used slavery. Does it mean slavery comes natural to people?

 

The Lounge Should I change my look to please my guy? Oct 22 2012
17:30 (UTC)
72
Original Post by charity705:

I simply think it's acceptable in society for a female to say that her SO is fat and bald and she wants to whip him into shape, whereas if a man said that about his wife or gf he'd be a nasty pig.

What do you base this on? I don't think it's acceptable and so would Miss Manners, and most people pretty much agree politeness is important. Sounds more like something you would see in a crappy sitcom.

Besides, just because something unfair exists for one gender (hypothetical women feeling entitled to tell men what to do) does not make it ok for men to reciprocate.

Two wrongs don't make a right.

 

The Lounge - Oct 22 2012
11:57 (UTC)
73

Some are naturally monogamous. Some are naturally polygamous. Some can go with both. Some have a prefference for one but can apply themselves to either.

There are some succesful non-typical relationships here in the Lounge. There are also several succesful monogamist relationships here too. I think people do best when they don't try to be something they're not. If you're naturally non-jealous, and preffer an open relationship, save yourself and your unsuspecting future mates and don't go into a monogamous closed relationship. You will be frustrated, they will be pressured to be something they're not. You will either cheat, or they will do something they don't like, and nobody's happy.

If you're monogamous by nature, and preffer long lasting relationships save yourself some trouble and don't try to 'tame' a person who likes casual flings only. They will feel trapped, and you will feel insecure and not good enough.

I think any relationship, in order to be succesful, requires mature, experienced, ethical people who know what they want and fixed their issues, and willing to invest time and energy into maintaining the relationship even in suboptimal situations. Now look around you and see how many people fit that mold. Now imagine to get 2+ of those people to be in one place, and like each other, and on top of everything also be nonjealous types. Possible? Yep. Rare? Also.

The Lounge Should I change my look to please my guy? Oct 22 2012
08:44 (UTC)
92
Original Post by jjmethini:
Yet when a man tells his significant other who is a female that he would like it if she did this, wore this, it automatically falls into the famous "patriarchal frame" of oppression and control.

'they did it too, so why can't I' is a foolish excuse for a philosophy. Just because you have chosen bad mates, who have tried to control you, and you acquiesced, does not make it ok for you to do the same.

 

Why should you tell a person, unsolicited 'I'd like it if you wear this'. Be it female to male, male to male, or male to female. It's just none of your business. 

If I ask a man 'hey, do you think I should wear this' then why not. But otherwise, I'm a grown ass woman and I know what I want to wear. Even if it's not the best choice to wear, it's my right to wear a stupid outfit if it so strikes my fancy. 

I distinctly remember with my ex, one time I got dressed up to go to have drinks with my friends, and I picked a top which I liked. He goes and says 'You know, that top is not very nice, you'd look better wearing that one'. I calmly told him I never asked him his opinion, and I'd appreciate it if he stopped from offering such suggestions in the future. I ended up wearing the top anyways, even got compliments for it. Still, it pretty much made me hate the top, and I ended up giving it away. Keep in mind both men and women think of me as stylish, elegant and classy. 

I personally like suits. IMO a well fitted suit improves the look of a guy many times over. I also know not every man likes to wear a suit. Times where I asked any of my exes to switch to a more proffesional look - never. One ex had a very bad style. I never once told him to not wear his godawful tshirts. If he asked me if something was nice, I told him my true opinion. But I routinely went out, me dressed up to the nines, and him in a cheap casual outfit. I also gifted him stuff that both me and him could like, not stuff that only *I* decided as lord and master of fashion was nice. Because you know, I'm not his mom, I don't get to tell him how to brush his hair, and what to wear, and if he should eat more vegetables and go to sleep before 9. 

 

The Lounge Should I change my look to please my guy? Oct 22 2012
07:51 (UTC)
94
Original Post by jjmethini:
A girl who dresses androgynous isn't sexy, so wearing girly clothes would definitely make him more attracted to you. Long straight hair is sexy, mohawks are a little immature and dykish. Too many women in the West aren't sexy, they dress like crap, and have weight problems.

Nothing like a woman that has rougher feet and hands than you.

So sayth the Lord! 

Healthy relationship: I picked you as you are, and I accept you as you are, I won't tell you who to be, but I will try to make you happy. You try to make me happy also, without having to compromise who you are. The positive feedback loop results in a harmonious relationship

Unhealthy relationship: I just paid for your expensive dinner (everybody knows women want expensive things, the shallow beonches), so you better put out. You told me to stop playing video games and I did because I'm a pushover, how come you don't act and dress to impress my friends. Man, I wish you would put down that extra mini donut. Stupid Western women having a backbone. In 10 years I'll drop you and get myself a Phillipino or Eastern European woman who is much more feminine *coughsubmissivecough* and who knows her place.

The Lounge mom in college Oct 19 2012
07:51 (UTC)
26

You're 17. In a year she could legally kick you out and you would have to support yourself for everything. How about you put on your big girl pants and support your mum who is currently paying for your school, clothes, phone, computer, internet, make-up and entertainment. 

The Lounge Family favorites Oct 19 2012
07:47 (UTC)
9

You've posted time and time again that your family sucks. We agree. They definitely suck. You have two choices. Leave, make a life of your own, get rid of their toxic influence. Or stay, but STOP expecting them to be anything they're not. They're not nice, to downright abusive. Don't think of them as family, but as flatmates. Reduce all interaction to a minimum, and don't allow them to influence you in any way. Cut yourself off emotionally if you can't do it physically. 

The Lounge what would you have done? Oct 19 2012
07:38 (UTC)
97

I wish I would have done exactly what you did. I think what you did was kind, and noble. I've recently read about cases of 'bystander effect'. 

Here is a famous case of the photographer who took a picture of a starving child then walked away

To quote from the article:

  According to Carter, he stood by for 20 minutes hoping the vulture would spread its wings which would make a much better shot but eventually just took the picture as we see it today. The severely starved toddler stopped crawling for awhile to catch her breath while Carter stood feet away and watched her suffer through his camera lens. After he snapped the photo, Carter scared the vulture away and left the toddler, who most likely starved to death before she reached the aid station.

On the same website there are other examples of this bystander effect. It's so easy to say 'It's not my problem. I didn't cause this. It's not my responsibility'.

I would hope if you take a photo of a starving child, even if he will surely die no matter what immediate assistance, you could take him and hold him and let him die in your embrace, and give his body to someone who could bury it, and not let it be eaten as carrion. EVEN if you didn't cause it, and even if there are other millions of people dying around him as well. 

The Lounge Will Candy Bars and Milkshakes be replaced with Protein Shakes / Bars one day? Oct 18 2012
15:38 (UTC)
3

IMO, protein bars are not healthy. They have a lot of protein, but they also have tons of additives, fake flavours, fake sugars, TONS of actual sugar (be it as sugar, or fructose, cane syrup, concentrated fruit juice or any other bull which is basically sugar anyways), tons of saturated fat and tons of other things too which are so processed they sound like laundry detergent.

You don't NEED protein bars. You can get something like 10g of protein with a pint of low fat yoghurt. You can get a **** of healthy fats, and both slow and fast energy with trail mix. If you want to buff up, look up Harzer cheese. It's pure protein, no fat, and traces of carbs. Smells like old socks. but the grand ingredient list is milk.  It's pretty german specific, but I bet there are similar things in other countries. Oh, and if you want somehting sweet, you can bake yourself some delicious fresh cookies. Then go for a run. And then you still live a pretty healthy life.

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