I am a 22 year old mother of one, common-law spouse, and college student.  This is NOT my first spin around the weight loss block.  I have been heavy off and on during my life.  I am well aware of the things I need to do to lose weight since I have been there and done that the healthy way a few times before.  In 2002/2003 up until 2005 I was healthy, vibrant, happy and active.  I was around a size ten but I had no idea of my weight because it wasn't a concern of mine at that time. 

In 2003 I got pregnant but I gained mostly water weight and was able to lose it all after I had my son without any change in my lifestyle except being a new mom.  Like I said before, I was able to maintain about the same weight until 2005.  I had gained a lot of weight after a job loss which left me feeling depressed.  I am unsure about how much I had gained since I never knew my previous weight but I weighed in at about 207 when I finally decided to get healthy again.  I joined CC in 2006 and had some real progress.  I got down to the 170s and then stopped and gained enough weight back to put myself in the 200s again.  I have done so at least twice since then because although physically and nutritionally I was doing all the right things to change the outside, I never worked on what was going on with me on the inside so my mentality never improved and I went back to doing all the wrong things.

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Well that was then and this is now!  I know now the reasons for my prior failures have learned from the past.  I am back and going to do things right this time.  I started again February 19th, 2009 and this time I AM GOING TO DO IT. I have lost over 10lbs since I started back and I am going to lose it all now.  How do I know?  My mindset is different. To me, this isn't about a diet, this is a lifestyle change. Let's face it, diets are not maintainable. The biggest reason I know I can and will do it is because I have done a lot of work on the inside.  You can't know where you're going if you don't know where you've been.  In the past year I have worked on my self, my problems, self-esteem issues and gotten to the root of why I am fat, why I eat or drink the way I do and what to do about it.  I have regained my self esteem and confidence... Maybe a little too much confidence ... Nah!  Also, I know that feeling great starts from the inside out.  I can be the total package on the outside and feel like a crumb on the inside.  I have learned to love myself as is.  I think positively and stop myself dead in the tracks from being negatively and I have also stopped associating myself with negative people... They are emotionally draining and their company is counterproductive for any kind of emotional, physical, mental, psychological or physiological progress. Being more involved with CC is also going to be a big help for me.  While I was always a member I wasn't as active on the boards/forums and never consistent if I joined a challenge now I am making sure to reach out for information, support, motivation and I have joined a challenge to help keep me accountable and focused on my goals.  In the past I also didn't involve my partner in my goals.  Sure I told him what I was doing but I never told him what he could do for me.  He is behind me 100% in my weight-loss journey and I couldn't have a better coach. 

I have the confidence in myself that I WILL start what I finish and this time I am doing this for ME.

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Here are my stats:

Height: 5'3.5"

Starting Weight: 216.2

Current Weight: 205.6

Activity Level: I am lightly active. 

BMR: 2380

Calorie Consumption Target: 1650 if I burn more than 250 through exercise (usually do) then I'll eat more.

Exercise Goal: Burn 250 Calories per day

Deficit goal: 500 - 1000 a day through diet and exercise and adjusted as I go depending on my progress.

Goal weight: UNDECIDED! Shocker Huh?  I am aiming for either 143 lbs, or FEELING as FABULOUS on the outside as I do on the inside.  To me this means, physical strength, energy, and endurance and also feeling great in my clothes.  I know people reading this might sneeze at it but they're my goals not theirs and not to be rude but frankly my dear, I don't give a damn what others think about my weight or size! I am doing this for ME not them!  I also don't aim for the ideal BMI.  The BMI wasn't formulated specifically with me in mind nor for me but I do use it as a guideline/guesstimation of where I should be.  If I happen to feel great at a weight that's within the BMI then that's just a bonus.  If I don't see room for improvement at 150lbs and the BMI calls me fat who cares? Not me!  The bottom line is I want to be the best me that I can be and that has to do with pleasing myself and reaching for my ideals not conforming to what others, no matter how helpful they intend to be or BMI calculators, no matter how trusted or scientifically proven say are ideal for me.

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