I've always been big. I'd like to try not being big for a while. Right now I'm trying to find a happy balance of carbs, calories, fats, and sugars in my diet. I'm in the "strict" point of my diet where I'm trying to avoid anything high carb, high in fat, and high in sugar. I've never wanted a blueberry muffin so badly in my entire life, but I figure that in order to truly detox my system I'll have to avoid these things just so I can show myself that I can. I'll work those things back into my diet when I know that I have more self control, which I've lacked in previous years.