Posts by torpidire

Thanks for the responses. Hedgren, I was hoping you'd reply! I do have my regular menses, and have since I was at about 110. So I'm not sure if that's a good marker, because there is NO WAY 110 is optimal for me. Right? I don't think it could be. . . then again. But that's probably that nagging little ED fellow trying to butt in. Ignore him, he's mean.

And Claudb89, these women are SO aggravating! One is obese (like, really. A lot. Wow.) One of them is my size, or maybe a bit smaller, and the rest are about average, I guess. For Americans that is, which means they're all moderately overweight, but mostly not morbidly so. I don't think they're jealous because nothing they say has been in those tones. It's probably just idle cafeteria chatter which most people would let roll like water off a duck (which I've never actually observed, but always wanted to try. Must procure a duck in future) but my neurotic, hyper-critical little self takes to heart. 

As for my body, we're definitely in a frienemy relationship. Some days, in some outfits, I look in the mirror and the girl in the glass goes, "hot d***, that's a fine piece of backside!" Other times, all I can see are love handles, poochy belly, flabby thighs and chipmunk cheeks. And the latter times are far more frequent, I'm afraid. I try the whole positive self-talk thing, but I'm and excellent liar and my head knows it. So we're trying to reconcile with one another, that girl who likes the way I look and the one that doesn't, but it's a lot like peace talks with Libya at the moment. Lots going on, but nothing happening, if you get my convoluted analogy. 

Mental state? I'm ready to secede. Let's put it this way: if panic attacks were stock, I'd turn this economy around, posthaste. I've been meaning to get back into therapy for some time, but started a new job, summer came, had to wash my hair, do laundry, come up with more excuses, you know the drill. I don't know. It would be quite a bit less aggravating if I didn't already KNOW all of the ins and outs of this silly ordeal, and if I couldn't quote back the advice I've been given word-for-word for years now. Silly of me to fall into that trap again, but here we are. Rather ridiculous, really. 

Hey girl! So good to see you back and being so fantastic! 

1. Congrats on getting engaged! That's so awesome for you guys. 

As far as the rest goes, I can totally relate. I just started a master's program too, and I moved to the UK to do it. Sooo I'm dealing with a totally different culture, complete with food and supermarkets I'm not used to and the pressures of master's-level courses on top of that. So I feel you, sister. Major life changes like you're going through are bound to throw you for a mental loop, but keep your head in the game. You love yourself, you said it, and you'd love yourself at any weight and any size. You're more than a number or a physical appearance, you know that. Your healthy place has to start in your head, not on the scale.

The thing you have to remember is that even though you've never been at this size before, your body is bound to grow and change over time. It very well may be that this is your natural set point at this point in your life, and if that's where your body wants to be, that's awesome. Don't fight it! The most important thing is not to use food as a stress reliever, either too much or too little of it. It's so easy to fall into old habits when life gets busy or super-stressful (which yours sounds like it is!) but don't let yourself get derailed or turn maintenance into another thing to worry about. Either eat intuitively or stick to a plan, whichever works for you, but don't let it freak you out. You can handle everything because you wouldn't have undertaken it all if you couldn't. 

be well, babe! 

I'm in the same boat! Just moved from the US to the UK for grad school, so not only do I not have a job, I'm also trying to adjust to a new culture and vastly different food prices. Meat is VERY expensive here compared to home, so I've been eating basically pasta or ramen for dinner, a baybel cheese midday and whole wheat bread with PB or yogurt and muesli for breakfast. I'm thinking about mixing it up with eggs for breakfast or dinner sometimes and I may make chili, but cooking in halls is a bit dicey as well. Any tips from students, for students on how to make those precious pounds stretch? 

Great job! Kaytee, a lot of women, especially runners, can run at a good pace for an extended period of time. I can keep up a 7.5 minute mile for about 10 miles in peak condition (which, sadly, I am not currently in) but to say women can't run that fast or that far is a wee bit on the sexist side, although I'm sure you didn't mean it that way. Isn't it fabulous what our bodies can do when we give them the tools to do so? 

Don't stress about it! Trust me. I studied in Italy for a semester, and spent most of the time worrying about food. One of my roomies lost a ton of weight from walking everywhere, and it freaked me out to the point where I started living on one piece of bread a day. I kid you not: I lived in a country KNOWN for its food and I forced myself to live on bread. I still regret that one of my biggest, most vivid memories of Italy are of being so. freaking. hungry. all. the. time. This is a period of your life you will never get back, so relish every second of it and don't spend it on something as trivial as what you're eating! Trust me. You'll thank yourself later. 

This is such an inspirational thread everyone! 

I've been trying to recover for over a year now, and every time I fall down, slip up, or screw myself over, I have to take a step back, dust myself off, and get right back on that horse again. My life depends on it!

I want to recover because I'm sick of being sick. I'm sick of feeling like I'm going to pass out every time I stand. I'm sick of feeling tired and achy all the time. I'm sick of telling myself to just ignore the hunger pangs, not to worry about it, to just keep going one more mile on the treadmill, one more hour before dinner. I'm sick of my life revolving around food and the gym and how I can get less of the first and more of the second! I'm sick of numbers ruling my life!

I'm at a healthy weight and have had my period back for three months now, but my head is far from healed. I still battle ED thoughts constantly, but threads like this tell me there HAS to be hope. There has to be a day, sometime in my future, when I won't care how many calories is in that piece of cake, where I won't calculate and agonize over every bite and fight myself to shove the proper amount of calories down my throat. If I keep fighting, someday I'll win. And I'm a stubborn chick. :P 

I want my life back. Period. 

I'm participating! Let's spread the word everyone, for a very important cause. 

Not to mention a great excuse to draw on yourself. :P 

I love my gym for the same reason several people have cited already (or at least I think they have): motivation. I'm a very competitive person, despite not having an athletic bone in my body, and I like to start secret little competitions when I work out. I find that trying to "beat" the person next to me or in front of me on the exercise bike, treadmill, or elliptical keeps me going. I get bored easily, and if I have the frenetic, energetic atmosphere of the gym to keep me pumped up, some TV to watch, and people to see, I like working out. Mind you, I don't necessarily "have" to beat the person next to me, nor are they aware that I'm doing it. It's just a little mind game I play with myself, sort of like a "well, if  I were in a race right now and they were in front of me, would I stop before the finish line? Of course not! So I'm not going to stop before my time is up now either." It's stupid, but for me, it works. I actually miss my school gym when I'm away (I'm a University student) and my home gym when I'm at school. Rather attached to them, yanno. It's worth mentioning that I go to a big sports school, and our gym was just built four years ago, and it's all new and shiny and state-of-the-art, plus they get all new equipment periodically to keep up with the times. So yeah, I'm spoiled as well. 

Same here. I also have a problem where I tend to black out if I stand up too quickly or don't cool down after exercise or if I let my blood sugar spike and drop. My doctor told me to make sure I keep my electrolytes up by eating salt, drinking gatorade, sticking to low-GI foods, that sort of thing. Don't know whether or not that's related, but it seemed to be. 

Whoa. Toewilson, there's no need to get antagonistic here. Everyone's body composition is different, and everyone has the right (within healthy limits) to watch what they eat and make sure they're taking care of their bodies. Don't attack others for doing that! Bitches are evil. Skinny people are not. Don't judge unless you want others to judge you. 

And as far as the OP goes, I wouldn't worry about it either. The cals you're talking about are negligible, and if you're watching your intake and keeping it at a good level otherwise, I don't see why you would have reason to be concerned. Keep up the good work and enjoy your healthy balanced lifestyle!