Posts by watchmeshine82

9 more days til I can call and ASK if I got the job I want if they have not told me by then.  Let the countdown continue.

thanks for the words of encouragement.  unfortunately, i have been unemployed since october though so i do need to get back to a job SOON!  i was looking since march 2008 without any luck but i did not get laid off til sept '10.

got another job rejection.  started crying.  i feel pathetic.  *sigh*

when will this be over?  i have been looking for a job full time for a year now.

thanks for the warm wishes.  you all are so sweet and i missed you guys too. 

self loathing...yes, need to work on that. 

i am not really watching calories right now.  just trying to eat more veggies, less sweets, and check in here to get back in the groove of things.  and, trying to increase my activities.

going to try to walk along the lake more now that it is starting to get nice out.  my friend lost a lost of weight (100 lbs!) just by walking for hours and i think it is a good idea.  she used to have her bus pass with her so if she ever wound up really far away and got tired, she would just figure out some kind of route home.  I think it might be fun to explore some of the ethnic neighborhoods in chicago that way, especially on weekends, this summer.  gotta keep moving!  I might also take a pad of paper and try to write bits and pieces of my grad school app essays (i am applying to just 5 programs but i have to come up about 12 different core essays or some permutations of those essays since each program averages 4 essays and there is only some overlap.)

removed the rest of this post and created a journal entry instead.

thanks for the warm welcome back, guys.    i have missed all of you!  xoxo

looks like i chose a great day to come back.  CONGRATS dalma!

i just ordered a ton of groceries from peapod and am going to make a trip to walmart on saturday to buy snacks as well.

feeling positive, trying to think of smaller goals rather than the overall goal so that i do not overwhelm myself.  i am a size 24W right now and am aiming to get down to at least a size 18w by year end.

the kick in the butt that brought me back is that my Moms ovarian cancer is back again for the 3rd time.  and she will need chemo this time, most likely.  Last summer, the surgery was enough.  In any case, she has ovarian cancer AND diabetes and all of that jazz.  I really want to lose weight for myself but also so that she does not worry about me as much.  I really want to get my weight down to something less deadly.  I know I will probably never be a size 6 but if I can get myself to the overweight category instead of the morbidly obese category and maintain that, I will be happier. 

I really need to do this for myself, once and for all.  I also want to find someone and marry them in her lifetime, if at all possible (i know, of course, that these things cannot be planned though). the fact of the matter is that I am not comfortable enough with myself to put myself out there with guys at this weight.  I was much more confident when I was in the 2 teens and a size 14w to 16w. 

anyway, ultimately, i am really trying to work on loving me and all the good things about me and to try to minimize the self hating, no matter what size i am at or get to. 

Happy New Year everyone!

congrats, dalma!  if having a low key night means getting engaged to a dreamy guy, sign me up for that next nye!!!!!

mladdy, welcome back!

ally, i am here for you!  call me back when you have time, sweets.

as for resolutions, i am not going to make any specific resolutions like i will do this x times a week or i am not going to do y or z things only to fail at them and feel bad about myself.  i am only going to vow to make things happen this year/get certain things done this year that i tell myself i will do every year so that i feel like my life is moving forward and not constantly stalled out and not obtaining ANY life goals.  kinda the resolution of all resolutions, i guess.  i *will* try to post here more often though... or at least journal regularly.  it is overwhelming to try to keep up with all of the posts but i am sooo much better about keeping on myself about my weight loss when i use CC.

happy new year, ladies!  lets make this year a great one!

hi everyone... have not been here for a long time.  just wanted to check in.  i am not making much progress on the weight loss front... or on much else.  journaled for the core.  hope all you wonderful ladies are enjoying the holiday season and managing to keep the pounds off despite all of the temptation!

welcome back reddy :)

just skimming posts today.

hey everyone, just checking in again.  trying to do that more often so that i can remind myself not to drown my sorrows in 3 bowls of cheerios or a bunch of donuts.  i went back to see my trainer since i had 13 sessions still paid for.  going to see him once a week again.  went to the grocery store afterwards and got lots of fruits and veggies and some guacamole and chips since i had been craving it plus this salad with olive oil and lemon juice dressing that is to die for.  tried to stock up on some healthy stuff so that i munch on healthier things now that i am around the home more often. 

it's nice to be (sort of) back on here.  i am amazed and envious of everyone's progress and hope that i can begin to make a small dent... i have definitely gained but have not bothered to look at the scale.  i know it will only depress me.  instead, i am going to base things on size and just try to get into a smaller pant size by the end of the year.  i think my goal will be my size 20Ws by the end of the year since i am currently wearing size 22Ws with an elastic band quite comfortably.  i am trying to set myself more realistic and attainable goals now or else i just give up.  so, my new goal is a size every 3 months or so.

i did not get the job.  the only way i will get this job is if choice #1 turns it down.  i am trying to tell myself it is okay and making it to the #2 spot when they received 200 applicants is a pretty big deal.  but, at the end of the day, being #2 does not get me a paycheck so it seems like a moot point.  i hate this whole process and this economy.  argh.