weirdfish

Posts by weirdfish


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Weight Loss Help stop Post-starvation Weight Gain Jan 16 2014
13:54 (UTC)
2
Original Post by kkennefit:

The problem with that logic is that I am not at a healthy weight for my height, even if you take into account that I'm quite muscular and curvy. I'm about 185 pounds, 5"2, 21-years-old, and female. Now, my college-student budget does probably add on about 5 pounds of water weight due to my sodium count being ridiculously high in the last 6 months, but I cannot accept that this is a "healthy" weight for me. I -did- look thin at 145 pounds (most people guessed me at under 120!) but 185 is just too much, and I am concerned about putting on EVEN MORE weight! D:

Let's look at this in perspective.  You lost 40 lbs. via an ED and upon recovery, got back 35.  Overall, that's a 5 lb. net loss.

That is fantastic!

So, assuming that you want to approach weight loss in a sensible and sustainable way, think of this as your new Day One.  Don't live in the past, because losing that much weight through an ED is not worth reliving.

You're 21, female, 5'2" and 185.  So using that, let's calculate a baseline caloric intake recommendation to start.

Your BMR (what your body burns just to stay alive, as if you were in a coma) is about 1600.  Assuming you're sedentary (not doing a heck of a lot, just sitting around and relaxing for the majority of the day), your burn rate is then around 1800-1900.

That means that a sensible and sustainable calorie deficit that won't leave you starving (or more importantly, feeling guilty) is probably around 300 calories.  So on a low activity day, eat around 1600 calories.  If you have any workouts on a particular day, eat a little bit more to compensate.  So if you do a workout that burns an additional 500 calories, you can up your food intake to around 1800-2000 and not blink an eye.

The objective is to lose weight slowly and over a long period of time so that you don't relapse into an ED or binge to compensate after your body reaches rock bottom of tolerance.  Some weeks, you'll lose a pound.  Some weeks, you won't lose a thing.  Other weeks, you might even go up.  But again, the idea is to establish a trend over time.

 

As a post-script, I advise not putting too much stock in Marmarl's suggestion.  Looking through her posting history, she is clearly a Paleovangelist, which means that she's pushing a diet plan that worked for her as if it was gospel truth.  Simply suggesting eating high fats and 3000 calories without knowing a thing about you is another big sign of Paleovangelism (as is the misplaced defensive responses), and counter-productive to your individual goal.

Fitness CrossFit Calories? Jan 16 2014
13:34 (UTC)
1

ALL calorie burn charts are mere estimates.  It is physically and technologically impossible for a computer system to accurately and precisely calculate calorie burn outside of a laboratory environment.

If I run 6½ mph for 4 miles, I'll burn a different amount of calories than my wife would.  Thus, CC and every other on-line activity calculator can only estimate based on gender, height, and weight using standardized formulas.

Use "calisthenics," because that's the closest that CC has.  Or if you find something else that centers around aerobic exercises, then manually enter the calories burned.

 

The Lounge Meanwhile in Canada Jan 15 2014
13:32 (UTC)
7

And then if the kid WAS found and NOT tasered to death, his lawyers would have used the "erhmahgerd mah raahhghts!" ("rerghts?") defense, and he'd have been exonerated on civil liberties grounds (never mind the whole pesky "blow up the plane" angle).

'Merica.

Weight Loss Putting Things Off Till You Lose Weight Jan 15 2014
13:06 (UTC)
6
Original Post by willshaw3:

I can understand how you feel, though believe me, a LOT of guys are not into skinny girls.  I don't find skinny girls physically appealing at all.  However, it does prove my point that looks DO matter, and I don't buy the idea that men are the only ones who value physical attractiveness.

It hurts, though.  I talked to a girl online about two weeks ago who asked to see a face pic of me.  I took a crude one with my phone and sent it to her and she got off chat the minute she saw it without saying another word.  This is just one incident, but it still hurt, and it got me thinking of all the unattractive girls who did seem enthusiastic to meet me, which made me angry.

 

As an aside, be careful with tossing around the "I don't find skinny girls attractive" bit.  While I'm sure your heart's in the right place when you say this, it can have an unforeseen and opposite effect.

Women aren't blind.  They know what's attractive and what isn't among other women.  With their personal assessments combined with media influence, women can determine the qualities and standards that make up "an attractive woman," and using that as a baseline, compared themselves to that ideal.

When a guy inadvertently and casually dismisses a specific ideal as unattractive or repulsive, what do you think that does to the woman who was using that very same ideal as the criterion for attractiveness?

The simplest way I can boil that down into ManSpeak (Wink) is "well, if that's not attractive, and I haven't even come close to reaching that, then I'm a monster."

It doesn't matter if it's realistic or not.  It's that reaction that's triggered when an image is criticized.  So let's flip this around then.

You're 6'3" and want to reach the 180s as your ideal weight.  You know how you feel right now at your current weight, and you hate it.  What if you were hanging out casually with a bunch of people (let's say after a movie that you went to see as a group, and are chatting in the lobby), and the conversation inevitably turned toward this topic -- this is attractive, that is not.

One of the girls who's made it subtly clear that she's not interested in you romantically makes an off-hand remark that "eh, skinny guys are boring and ugly" and that she prefers guys with more "fluffiness," to coin a Gabriel Iglesias euphemism.  Yet, while you meet all those physical qualities that she says she's interested in, she's not interested in you.

Wouldn't that make you feel even worse about yourself?  Because I know it did for me, before I met my wife.

I was single and lonely, yet had many female friends.  None of them wanted to date me, though, for some reason or another.  Yet I would listen to them complain about how their boyfriends are mistreating them, etc., and would just spit out a litany of qualities of the Ideal Boyfriend.

Qualities I thought I had.

Turns out that these girls had fallen into a common trap: find the exciting Bad Boy that catches their interest, then change and mold them into the Ideal Responsible Man that still retains that Bad Boy excitement and hint of "danger."

(as we know by the time we reach our age, there is no such thing Wink)

 

 

Fitness help!!thighs!!! Jan 15 2014
12:39 (UTC)
2
Original Post by amanda_alminde:

but wont lifting weight make my legs mor bulked up? i just want them slimmer? :)

 

It's difficult enough for males to add muscle mass, even with loads of eating and dedicated weight-lifting.

A teen-aged girl isn't going to add muscle mass any faster or any greater than what an adult male can. ;)

 

The Lounge Why do white women age so fast? Jan 14 2014
13:58 (UTC)
21

Nothing to with worthiness.  Just not exactly qualifying under "aging gracefully," but maybe more like "fighting tooth and nail dammit."

 

 

Helen Mirren, on the other hand.....

The Lounge You can grow your eyelash??? Jan 14 2014
13:56 (UTC)
1

I don't have anything to contribute here.  I just wanted to pop into a zombie thread before it got locked. Laughing

The Lounge Why do white women age so fast? Jan 14 2014
13:55 (UTC)
23
Original Post by theviewfromhere:

um - yeah. she's had significant work done.

eta: not that she doesn't look great. but i wouldn't call it either "aging gracefully" or "natural beauty."

Nose, cheeks, Botox, chin, lips....

The Lounge Some people are RUDE to skinny people Jan 14 2014
13:53 (UTC)
6

The context of those comments would help clarify a bit more.  Comments of that nature from a bunch of overweight friends would be in a different context than from an older relative who clings to old-world European (example: post-war) attitudes, and the hidden meanings THAT brings.

Weight Loss Who locked the poo thread? Jan 14 2014
13:48 (UTC)
2

The thread was started 7 years ago.  The explanation is in the first post.

Weight Loss Putting Things Off Till You Lose Weight Jan 14 2014
13:45 (UTC)
19

To add, I've also noticed a tendency among the crowd at the RenFaires/sci-fi cons who do lapse into these "I'm fat and hate myself for it" attitudes to find others of a like mind, who then in turn enable the thoughts and behaviors that exacerbate the condition, like an echo chamber.

No one person is allowed to change their eating and exercise habits, because if they get thin and healthy, then it puts up an uncomfortable mirror for everyone else.

Another illustrative example: we have a friend who probably qualifies as morbidly obese.  She has an astonishingly low sense of self-esteem and self-worth, and uses food as her comfort.  She also emotionally latches onto others and wants to "keep" them, probably as a defense mechanism against loneliness.  And one of her methods is through comfort food shared with others.

And many of her other friends enable that behavior by praising the dishes that she puts up on her Facebook page, dishes that look and sound absolutely nauseating in real life, but nobody will say so because of her fragile ego.

My wife and I cannot eat at her house because her dishes are beyond fattening and unhealthy.  Even portion control is an exercise in futility.

Maybe that's also part of the self-defense.  If she surrounded herself with people like me, then it may have the opposite effect of making her feel worse about herself rather than inspiring her to cook and live healthier.  So instead, she surrounds herself with enabling behavior as its own measure of protection.

Weight Loss Putting Things Off Till You Lose Weight Jan 14 2014
13:38 (UTC)
20

To be blunt and from another guy's perspective, the degree of self-loathing in this thread can also significantly contribute to that "scary unapproachable" vibe.  With each reply or suggestion on how to climb out of this pit you've dug for yourself, you're finding ways to shoot them down (hence, Diana's remark about rationalizing) and stay in this pit of self-hate.

I'm 40 years old, so not much older than you, which means that we pretty much grew up in the same generation.  And given the social circles I've had throughout my life, I've encountered a lot of people in this same cycle of self-loathing -- the local Renaissance Festival is a prime source of social awkwardness.

The folks who are usually uncomfortable or don't find themselves fitting in to "normal" society find their welcoming community at RenFaires and sci-fi/comic conventions and finally feel acceptance and familiarity.

While I stop short of saying that you are one of these people -- the Festies, the gamers, the cosplay nerds (I'm actually one of them anyway) -- the attitude that I read from your posts is similar to what I have not only encountered but also personally endured.  I also had that very same attitude -- "girls think I'm too nice, the only ones who'll date me are the ones with other emotional problems. etc."  I found ways to navigate around treacherous waters as a means of self-protection, from taking the risk of getting hurt.

If I made myself unapproachable, then I don't have to worry about letting people in to hurt me.  Yet that didn't cure the loneliness.

It's a self-defeating cycle.  The "on hold until I lose weight" is just another symptom of that.  I'd be willing to bet that if you DO lose the weight, you'll subconsciously find something else you don't like about yourself to use as your excuse/rationalization.

I've done it, I've seen it, I've heard it.

You have a compartmentalized view of masculinity and what qualifies, and it seems that you're finding your own flaws that don't fit those criteria.

The reason why in your particular case that it's wrong to think that a girl won't find you attractive at 250 but would at 180 is, as has been said, your palpable attitude.  If you're projecting that very same self-loathing that I'm picking up on from across the Internet, then to me, it's pretty clear what the actual problem is, rather than just symptoms.

If that doesn't change, then it won't matter whether you're 250 and bald or 150 with flowing locks and piercing blue eyes.

To whit, several years ago, when my then-girlfriend and I broke up briefly, I was in such a deep funk that I projected desperation that bordered on creepiness.  My physical appearance was no different, but my attitude and what I projected was what was different.  I know that now, because I'm fortunate enough to have been able to look back on that period with more objective eyes.

 

Fitness How to progress to full push-ups on floor Jan 14 2014
13:09 (UTC)
9
Original Post by sdos152840485:

and you'll start to find that it gradually gets less difficult to do the pushup as you go.

That's pretty much all it comes down to.  There's no real magic trick to it.  Pushups are all about endurance rather than brute-force strength (there is obviously some strength involved, but doing as many as possible relies more on endurance).

The 100 Pushups Challenge workouts are designed specifically around that idea -- you start out with a few, and gradually add more and more each week until you eventually get to the point of being able to hit 100 in a row.

(I got up to about 95; I struggle with 30 now because I haven't done it in a long time and my performance regressed)

If you can only do one, do that one.  Then add one more next time.  Then if you can only do two, do those two.  Then add one more next time.

It's all a gradual building process.

The Lounge Why do white women age so fast? Jan 13 2014
16:43 (UTC)
29

My mother is 65.  Doesn't look like she's in her 20s, but does look maybe still in her 50s.  I mess with my classmates' heads frequently enough, though.  I've consistently gotten assumptions that I'm in my late 20s, even though I'm 40.

But I think that also has to do with environmental bias -- these kids are only used to people of similar ages being in school with them, so they're not expecting someone as old as their parents as their classmate instead.

Much more common for working adults to be in classes at community colleges, but maybe not so much at 4 year universities, I'm guessing.

We Asians age awesomely.  My fair-skinned white wife on the other hand....   She already jokes that she looks like she stole our son from the Asian Baby Store.

Weight Loss What is my body doing? Jan 13 2014
16:34 (UTC)
1
Original Post by LizMccal:

I am eating 1200-1500 calories a day and walking about an hour 4 times a week with a 1.5 hour vinyasa yoga practice 5 days a week. I've been doing this for about one and a half months. I think I lost weight (6lbs from 131 to 125) but this is the thing I go from 125 to 135 over night any time I cheat or eat out. I ate out 3 times last week at most I could have gained a pound but two days after Chinese food it's 10lbs. My face looks like a chipmonk. I have never had this issue. I've lost over 100lbs on three different occasions. Could it be my age? I just turned 36 a few months ago. Could it be quitting smoking 2 months ago. Is it cortisol? It's driving me crazy and into a funk. It's like my body is manic depressive up and down up and down. I can't even say what I will weigh tomorrow. Maybe 130 or 125 that I weighed 3 days in a row. Anyone ever go through this or have any thought on the issue I would appreciate it very much! Thank you.

Excess sodium is the simplest answer (particularly in Westernized Chinese food).  To have gained 10 lbs. of pure fat, you'd have had to consume 35,000 calories over what you normally eat and burn in a day.

Stop beating yourself up and freaking out. :)

 

Fitness Swapping outdoor cardio for indoor stuff?...It's cold. Jan 13 2014
16:22 (UTC)
3

Even if a person is motivated to run in the winter, the cold air will still affect performance, so it's not just you. Smile

 

The Lounge I'd like to buy a couch. Jan 09 2014
13:41 (UTC)
5
Original Post by amwick:

Original Post by kikt:

Who are you again??

Things get confused when you get older.. I still remember the couch.. I remember it showing up quite a bit.. but I don't remember what book.

The other day I tried to brush my teeth with a hairbrush... *facepalm*

At least it wasn't the toilet brush.

Fitness Intimidating! Jan 09 2014
13:31 (UTC)
10

Frown

This is why I've developed a dumbbell-based lifting plan for my wife.  We're planning to hit her PF next week so I can run her through it (and see the PF for myself for the first time).

I go to Snap Fitness. It's double the cost of her monthly fee, but I do get the gym mostly to myself most times, and even when sharing the weight section, the local kids who work out there just mainly focus on their own workouts.

We have a few pizza slices that come in on occasion, but they don't have the Gym Bro attitude.  They just focus too much on upper body quietly.

Weight Loss what are you doing to lose weight? Jan 09 2014
13:23 (UTC)
2

Eat less than I burn within a sensible range, and keep my expectations realistic.  Nothing more complicated than that is necessary.

The only complicated part of it is to actually know what those numbers are, and that's where all the myriad resources on this Web site come in.

Weight Loss CAN'T lose weight Jan 09 2014
13:20 (UTC)
4

In addition, you're eating what would be typically a maintenance level of calories for a girl your size if you just sat around all day.  But on top of that, you're adding intense exercise which means that your total calorie needs are actually much greater than what you're consuming.

 

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