What to say here with out making it sound like I have too much on my plate? About two months ago my wife left me for another man. She felt that we did not have that best friend connection that people are suppose to have in a marriage. Needless to say she pushed me away during that previous year and did not interact with me all that much hence the no connection.

I have struggled all my life with being overwieght. I had two ah-ha moments one was when my body gave me signals it was time to loose weight. That was back in '04. I then plateaued and ignored my weight issues since I had found my soon to be exwife at the time. We loved each other for who we were and not solely based on attraction. The second ah-ha came when my wife walked out on me and I really took a look at myelf in the mirror and said "you know what she left you because she does not find you attractive anymore".

She lost over 150lbs, went through the skin removal procedures and now is preparing to compete in marathons. I did not fit her "healthy lifestyle". I wanted to be able to get myself into a healthier routine but not the same route she took. She basically ate salads with some cuccumbers and a meager portion of turkey burger for lunch and dinner all the time. She wanted me to adapt to that life style. I could not because to me that is way to boring and would make loosing weight extremely hard for me.

In all the time that I have tried to begin a workout program I just fail to keep myself motivated. I was hoping to get support from my wife when I was getting back on track but she said that I am the only one that can motivate you to become healthy. I asked for support just to get me through some hard times and she walked away during a conversation saying that I needed to support myself and just get through it.

I put way to much trust in people sometimes and this time proved exactly that point. So now I am trying to keep myself going with loosing weight and staying motivated. I know I can do it but there are those days when I just feel like nothing can make me move forward and all I want to do is be stagnant. I hate that feeling especially when you hate the way you look.

Feeling unattractive makes you want to crawl into a hole and never come out. My friends say it is all in my head but I beg to differ. Granted my thinking has been distorted since being burned badly.

Having someone go from a caring, understanding, wanting to be a part of your life type of person. To a person who deleted you from their life like an old email, became extremely vain, and basically untouchable.

I just hope that I can keep up the momentum.