To push or not to push?

So this feels like a huge back slide on my part, but here's my schpeel:

I'm getting pretty close to my GW. I've been averaging about 1/2 lb a week. I'm really torn right now as to whether or not I should push to gain 1lb/week and get 'er done and over with. Thing is - I've been doing well with the 1/2lb/week gain. But it is taking a long time. Huge part of me says "Just f'ing do it Tori. Its not that hard to eat another 300 calories a day." and then the other part of me says "Nah, 1/2 lb a week is good, stick to that." 

So what's your opinion: Half a pound a week is too slow and I should bite the bullet, or given than I am so close to my GW - half a pound a week is okay? When I first started gaining, I was gaining about a pound a week. So I feel confused about what is "enough" right now.

You need to do this already. I know you have had an ed and been on weight gain for a very long time. There will never be an easy time to reach your goal and what does dragging the process out do? Really when I just commited though initally it did cause a lot of anxiety I think in the long run it is making things easier. Like not living in 2 worlds the ed and non.Being in weight recovery can be a job in itself menatlly and physically. You have made a lot of progress but why settle on just better when you can have a full life. You can do this and 1 pound a week is very slow and 1/2 is very very slow.

I really think you should bite the bullet , half a pound a week is very slow, and the sooner you can get to a healthy weight the sooner you can start dealing with the real issues that have led you here i honestly think you cant deal with these until you are a healthy weight. youve come so far, please just keep battling with this.

the only concern i have for you is if you did up your intake and increase your intake you may panic and it may set you back if you feel this then id continue as you are doing hope that helps h x

Tori...do whatever will lead to a lasting change. If you're going to freak when you hit your GW and restrict or resort to old behaviors do 1/2 pound and allow yourself to really grasp the fact that you're going to be at your GW so that you can accept it and reduce the chance of compensatory behaviors erupting and inhibiting your recovery. If you have accepted it and the ED behaviors are unlikely then 1 pound would be preferred. It will be easier to not draw it out and kind of a relief in my opinion.

Just add an extra milkshake or something yummy. Or just have a couple pieces of melted dark chocolate and a banana at night. Something that won't be too much more food, a pleasure to eat, and not too anxiety inducing.

You can do this and no matter what you choose always remember that we support you 1000000000000000% !!! :)

Yeah....I wasn't sure cuz my birthday is coming up. I just decided to bite the bullet though.   Toast with white chocolate peanut butter, marmalade and coconut flakes. ^.^

id say now or never, literally.  ive been here b4, almost there + then for some reason i back down and stop, never reaching a truly healthy weight for my body.  get it done w already!

1 concern, isnt ur GW a pretty low weight, as in sub a bmi of 18.5 even? i may be wrong?

GL

Hey!

I'm glad you've decided to push things on a bit and reach your goal weight faster! What is your goal? You're pretty tall aren't you?

Either way, since you've been used to the concept of gaining for a while now and you know what you need to increase the rate of gain a bit more, I reckon it's good to get it under way now. You'll be that much healthier, the pressure of gaining will be off you sooner, and you can just get on with your life and eat maintenance sooner!

Enjoy xxx

I'm 5'8". Not sure if that qualifies for "pretty tall" or not....Its hard I guess because I'm also trying to quit smoking so my brain keeps telling me "if you aren't smoking those 10 cigarettes, thats 100 calories fewer that you're burning every day. Itll add up. You'll gain a few more pounds after you hit 115, and then you'll be right where you're supposed to be."

My doctor this year actually said I was fine at 104 pounds. But when I was in IP at 16, they wanted me to get up to 120. I legit have no idea what I should weigh. On top of that, I have family members who I LIVE with that tell me if I weigh over 110-115, I'll look fat. I hate my father some times. I don't need to hear his *probably exaggerated* stories of being 20-25 and weighing only 120-130 pounds at 6".  Truly. It does not help me at all.

So! All of that + ED = big challenge and probably why its taken me nearly six weeks to gain two pounds.

If you were 5'8" and only 104lb. your BMI would only be 15.8 - I would not stick to the doc's suggestion.

screw what everyone else says, DEEP DOWN u KNOW ur GW is TOOOOO low, u know it!! 

 pick the rt goal and get over it already, recovery to a healthy weight should not take forever, im in the same boat, well my bmi is a bit under 19 rt now but get it done, NOW, w/ the proper GW.  i really think ED thoughts r telling u the wrong wegith, for health, life, flexabilty, intelligience...

Listen doctors say stupid things. I have had similar.I do know though even for myself we pick and choose what we want to hear. If 100 people told you that weight was horrible you probably still would focus on the 1 who stated it is acceptable. I think you know it is not healthy and is not going to lead you to a normal life. That is very sick 104 at your height and though it may be "better" then at your worst it still can destroy your life. I know that when one was in the ground basically from their ed often doctors etc will comprimise. Rebel would you think that weight is acceptable for anyone here? So why would it be for you? Also how long have you been trying to gain? It seems like a very long time.I am not taking away from your progress but I hope you focus on full health and now. The end result is going to be a healthy weight if you want a normal life

well done on taking that step.

im sorry to hear all the unhelpful comment you are getting from your family . dont listen to them , ive had similar comments myself. you are doing this for you and i think you know this weight and the doctors weight isnt healthy for you . youve come so far id hate you to stop on your journey you need to go to the end . youve been so helpful to me and very inspirational  i think all of us ed sufferers are guilty of not taking our own advice.

i like you. i have a lot of respect for you. you give good advice and i think you've been on this sad road a long time. i think 104 is ridiculously low for some 5'8 or 5'7 or 5'6 or 5'5 or 5'4 or even 5'3. i think you will still be very thin at 115 and i think your ip team were even a little sparse at 120. im 5'6 and my ip team wanted me to be 125!!

hard as it is - shove the unhelpful comments up the ass of the commenters! how far are you from a weight of 115? you might think you are close while still 10lbs away. but i think thats still quite far off.

i agree with chrissy that you should do what ever produces a lasting change. Tori, if someone asked the same question seeking advice for themselves in the same situation what would you say?

I'm about 5'8" and here's the deal:

104 - my husband would probably have a hard time even touching me. He'd have me set up to an auto gravy drip, HIS WORDS.

115 - I was too thin. Husband loves me so much but I could tell he wasn't attracted to me. Do you want people to view you with worry or are you more than an ED?

135 - I was and will be a smoking hot chick... and so will you

C'mon... you're so young and life is so short. Get healthy!

Hi Rebel. I am 5'8.5" and am currently around 116lbs and although I get comments that I am looking a lot better than when I was at 106lbs, I am getting the message loud and clear from family, bf and my support team that I need to keep going.

Our mind does play tricks on us - we need to rely on external opinions of those that love and care for us.

You are so strong rebel - you can do this!!!

Original Post by rebelchick1017:

I'm 5'8".  My doctor this year actually said I was fine at 104 pounds.

Hi Rebelchick!  First of all I want to say that I've read your posts in other threads in the past, and you are amazing, girl!  Whether you know it or not, your story and your determination have been such an encouragement and inspiration to me!

Just to help normalize the weight thing for you:  I am 5'3", and my goal weight is 104 (which I've actually been at for a week now, yay!).  Seriously, I don't know what that doctor of yours was thinking.  Probably they doubted that you would ever get well and thought that maybe if they "compromised", they could at least keep you alive.

But don't you want to do more than just survive?  Embrace LIFE, and everything that goes with it!  Why settle for halfway?  Why take only a portion of life when you can have the whole thing?!

It's got to be so tough when others proclaim their opinions regarding your weight and they aren't exactly advocating a healthy ideal.  I'm so sorry you have to deal with that:(  But don't let those people be the determinants of your destiny!  If you know what you want, go for it!

Go for it , you can do it!!!!

Original Post by rebelchick1017:

On top of that, I have family members who I LIVE with that tell me if I weigh over 110-115, I'll look fat.

I think it's really troubling that your family members told you that. The thing is, I've gotten comments like that from friends but remember, people who aren't gaining don't have any perception of weight and how weight will look added on. They hear "..gained 10-15 pounds" and shudder in horror. Remember that it's completely different the way youre doing it (healthy and steady) vs the way most people gain (McFlurrys and McNuggets).

I'd say do what youre most comfortable with and what you feel will help you sustain in the long run. I'm the same height as you and my goal at the moment is 120. I think that's like, the bare minimum.

Good luck and much love.

x

I do know I need to weigh more than what I am at right now. I've kind of been going in "spurts" with gaining. I maintained at some weights that I shouldn't have for periods of time, to allow myself time to adjust to my body. I know, for some people that doesn't work. But I legit have always gone back to gaining after about 2-4 weeks of being at a "feared weight". IE I maintained 100 for a few weeks. Pushed myself to 105. Then 110. Now I'm almost to 115.  And I do know in my heart that I will be getting to a higher weight than that. Its just easier for my mind to manage the concept of "Ok, I only need to gain five pounds this month." Then two, three weeks later "Ok, another five pounds this month too."  I realize it does take a bit longer, but it has kept me from relapsing thus far.

I am 5'8.5" (174cm) and the lowest I ever weigh now that I'm maintaining is around 135lbs. Even that feels quite skinny for me... When I first gained weight I gained right up to 150lbs and wasn't overweight then.

I agree with the others that even 115lbs is very low, and you'll be healthier if you keep gaining. After all, you've been sick for so long, you really need to be over any kind of "minimum" line for health in order for your body to properly heal.

I can relate to negative family comments. I had someone in my family tell me not to get too fat just like that. The comments are hard but people are clueless and you can't live your life based on others views. They go about their life and you are left to be in misery. This is not just weight issues but even things like career choice etc. Can you tell the how their comments hurt you? Can you see how insane that they think that weight would not make you extremly thin? Remind yourself the facts of the bmi chart. I have a family of disordered people. My grandfather at 80 plus weighs himself 3 times daily and my mom has severe anorexia I could go on so some of the views and comments they have are not healthy and I wonder for one reason or another if your family has unhealthy views? I would think after hearing your story and how you were on deaths door they would rather you be 22 bmi as long as you were healthy.

Rebel I think part of recovery is finding what works for you which may be different from others.