The Pushers

Okay so do you have pushers in your lives?  People who don't want to see you fat, but just can't stand to see you not eating something they've prepared or made?

This lady at the grocery store was doing a free sample thing of waffles.  And I'm picking up stuff for supper, just after the gym, so I'm hungry but I want to save my calories for all the delicious green curry my guy is making, and she is like, PUSHING the things on me.

"Nah, I gotta stay away--thanks though!"

"What, you'll gain a pound?  I can't believe you're not going to eat this because you might gain a pound."

And she just went on and on like that.  Unfortunately for me she was in an area where I needed to pick up a few things--but I moved quickly to get away.  Like, honestly, I couldn't believe how much she kept pressuring me.

While it was easy to say no to someone weird like that, there are other people (usually older mother/grandmother types) you have more of a connection to that feel it's part of their duty to you to keep you well-larded.  How do you all deal with the pushers in your lives?

I know what you mean!

I think sometimes my husband tried to get me to eat more or eat things I don't need to be eating...not sure if it's a consious thing or not with him.....

My (very slim) mother is a devil for this one.  I'll walk through the door and she'll cheerily remark that I've put on some weight.  (Thanks Mum, love you too)  And in the next breath is offering me a plate of chocolate biscuits!  LOL!

I find that a 'no thank you' usually works and, if not, a slightly more eye-to-eye contact 'NO THANK YOU'....   It has to be firm like that that because if they sense that you're at all hesitating they'll go in for the kill!

Smile nicely and tell them that you have food allergies.  Anyone in the food business that has taken a food safety course will not push any foods on a person with allergies.

I know what you mean! There are people, in especially my grandmas and my coworkers, who will complement me on my weight loss, and offer me all kinds of chips and cookies a minute later. Like GI Jane, I usually just say "no thank you," and it is fairly effective. However, when people push, I am generally honest about the reason:

1. No thanks, I just ate lunch.
2. No thanks, I am saving room for dinner.
3. I'm not hungry right now, but I may have some later.
4. No thanks, if I eat one of those I'll wind up eating all of them!

I do leave room in my diet for "sometimes foods" though, so if I know I am going to be spending time with a grandma I try to plan accordingly so that I don't have to hurt any old lady feelings.

Yeah my guy's super Ukrainian mother loves to cook and she always makes the food she knows I love best when we come over.  Which is sweet, but I can rarely resist the "Take more!" she offers when I've finished a plate of mostly salad--but like you said, I try to make allowances for the day when I know I'm headed over there.  I think most Ukrainian women think that it is their duty to prevent people from starvation should some apocalypse hit our planet :). 

In the cafeteria at lunch today one of the guys in my group looks over at my 12 ounce bowl of soup and mini-sandwich (basically a roll w/ a slice of turkey and half slice of cheese) and says "Thats not enough you will be hungry later!". I told him no worries I'd be back in the afternoon for a banana and a cup of coffee.  And he said "A banana?  Good idea!"

My husband compliments me on my weight loss but is always putting me down for calorie counting or if I say "I'm not hungry" he will insist that I am and that I'm just trying to starve myself.  I'm not, trust me, it is a struggle sometimes to not overeat.  Also if someone offers me food and I politely say "no thank-you" he gets an attitude and ALWAYS says something like "... She's calorie counting..." and says some sort of snide remark around that statement.  I hate it when people try to push me or bully me into eating.

Original Post by janeba:

Yeah my guy's super Ukrainian mother loves to cook and she always makes the food she knows I love best when we come over.  Which is sweet, but I can rarely resist the "Take more!" she offers when I've finished a plate of mostly salad--but like you said, I try to make allowances for the day when I know I'm headed over there.  I think most Ukrainian women think that it is their duty to prevent people from starvation should some apocalypse hit our planet :). 

Well that is your problem right there. Empty plate = guest wants more food. What works most of the time is eating slower and always leaving something on a plate.

UD

Original Post by janeba:
  I think most Ukrainian women think that it is their duty to prevent people from starvation should some apocalypse hit our planet :). 

Totally - My mom always said that the only English her Ukrainian grandmother knew was "Here. Take. Eat." Her daughter, my grandma, always always fed us the minute we arrived at her house ("Do you want a sandwich? I made potato salad. Here, have some of this cake"), and we never once left without a bag of food - she'd buy pounds of cold cuts specifically to give us when we left, not because we needed it, but because it made her feel good to provide us with it.

Original Post by gi-jane:

My (very slim) mother is a devil for this one.  I'll walk through the door and she'll cheerily remark that I've put on some weight.  (Thanks Mum, love you too)  And in the next breath is offering me a plate of chocolate biscuits! 

 Hhmmm...is your mother's name Marie Barone by chance : )

The only family member I most gotten trouble from was my mom in the past because she is overweight and eats poorly and doesn't exercise. She's tried to minisabatoge me before, such as telling me something doesn't have butter when it does, or buying me a large bag of chocolate candy as well as herself. "misery loves company hehe" is what she said. She may have not meant to be malicious but such lack of support from someone who's suppossed to help teach you to take care of yourself tends to hit a sore spot. It just goes to show you, you really have to be confident about losing weight for yourself! No ones going to do it for you.

Whenever somebody tries to push food on me (which seems to come from everywhere - except my husband who offers to eat food in another room so I don't have to watch - LOL), I always use the same line - it usually gets a laugh but also gets the point across.

"No thanks, I'm allergic to too many calories". 

My mom is a pusher, which I terrible because I hate wasting food....and the only way to get her to stop pushing is to just say "yes."  And then make up for it by just being extra careful the next day.

Very annoying..sigh

Original Post by jamers23:

Original Post by gi-jane:

My (very slim) mother is a devil for this one.  I'll walk through the door and she'll cheerily remark that I've put on some weight.  (Thanks Mum, love you too)  And in the next breath is offering me a plate of chocolate biscuits! 

 Hhmmm...is your mother's name Marie Barone by chance : )

 

The only family member I most gotten trouble from was my mom in the past because she is overweight and eats poorly and doesn't exercise. She's tried to minisabatoge me before, such as telling me something doesn't have butter when it does, or buying me a large bag of chocolate candy as well as herself. "misery loves company hehe" is what she said. She may have not meant to be malicious but such lack of support from someone who's suppossed to help teach you to take care of yourself tends to hit a sore spot. It just goes to show you, you really have to be confident about losing weight for yourself! No ones going to do it for you.

Urgh!   This just made me remember when I was trying to do a vegan thing for a little while.  My dad got all pissy because he didn't want to eat my food and I wouldn't eat his.  He was pushing me to come "At least eat some sweet potatoes!" when he didn't know that I'd WATCHED him add a stick of butter and like a cup of sugar to them.  Even if I had tried them, hello!  I know what plain sweet potatoes taste like.

Got a co-worker who doesn't work in my area, but has legitimate cause to come here a few times a week.  he always brings bags of candy to fill candy dishes with. 

I put the dishes away in a filing cabinet once (no one in our area buys candy for them), and he went through the area until he found them and filled them again.

Then, I actually hid them - put them in a desk drawer that he can't open.  So today, he brings in 4 of his own containers already full and then leaves.

I've told him several times that he doesn't need to/shouldn't do it, but he just laughs it off.

The kicker is that I feel absolutely no temptation to eat them - they don't remotely fit in my daily calorie budget, and I'm blessed in that I don't have a sweet tooth (a buffalo wing/pizza tooth, maybe).  It's just that it's one of those things that other people will eat simply because they are there (and I used to as well - mindless grabbing a handful as I walked past). 

I guess I'd feel differently if anyone else in my area had a candy dish on their desk, but no one does.