question to all the guys

girls always think they need to lose weight to attract a guy. but i was wondering would you date an overweight girl with a good personality?

i personally look for personality as i would get sick of a hot guy who is boring. do you guys look more for personality?

edit: by overweight i mean the standard BMI rating of overweight. 25-30

Sorry I am a girl but my opinion is this: the physicial attraction is there first, but if the personality is not there to back it up, it gets old very quickly. Also different people find different physical qualities attractive...

I'd actually flip what Amy said...

For me, the personality attraction is there first. Either you have chemistry or not. But... if you were really obese.... then, sadly, probably not. :/

Note, however, that as a guy, I prefer a girl in a HEALTHY BMI range, and not someone who is too thin.

EDIT: I, too, like SOME meat on the bones. I like Boobies and if a girl's too thin to have boobies.. s'not gonna work :/ 

One of the cutest single guys I know likes a girl with "some meat on her bones" (his words). But yeah, he also likes smart and funny.

Personality needs to go with that perfect whatever otherwise ummm no thanks. Cute, smart, fun. And as long as they are not heavier than me... :p

by over weight u meanshe's 5 kilos above her ideal w8 if so i surely date such a girl,but if she's 30kgs above weight meaning she's obese ifif she was mother teresa personbality wise i wont date her,i would take her as a friend ,but not a gf.

#2 HK','Next Verse, Not the Same as the First',1);" onmouseout=hidetrail(); href="http://www.calorie-count.com/calories/view_pr ofile.php?userid=141065">hkellick Dec 11 2007 15:10 I'd actually flip what Amy said...

For me, the personality attraction is there first. Either you have chemistry or not. But... if you were really obese.... then, sadly, probably not. :/

Note, however, that as a guy, I prefer a girl in a HEALTHY BMI range, and not someone who is too thin.

im EXACTLY that way too.  their personality makes them more beautiful :)

how overweight?

with a BMI of 25-29 or 30

with me weight is not an issue, but personality is key for me.

Im picky... though i am still at my prime so maybe thats why i feel i can be more picky 26 -27 bmi is prolly as high as id go.  though i wouldnt date someone with a bmi much lower than 20 either sooo hey i discriminate on both sides.

I'm sorry but I find it odd that people wouldn't date people based on BMI...

I mean, yeah I could understand if they LOOKED too overweight for your preference or standards or whatever, but BMI isn't really all that accurate for the most part.  It puts a lot of healthy, fit people in the obese category if they have a lot of muscle for their height.

It's good to see there are guys out there that go for personality though =)

EDIT TO ADD:  even though I'm a girl I'll put my say in..haha.  Personality comes first, I've found there are people that I don't think are too attractive, but I've actually come to like them and find them INSANELY attractive because their personality makes them look better to me.  Seriously...

EDIT TO ADD:  even though I'm a girl I'll put my say in..haha.  Personality comes first, I've found there are people that I don't think are too attractive, but I've actually come to like them and find them INSANELY attractice because their personality makes them more attractive to me.  Seriously...

no joke... personality makes the hugest ugliest (even though i dont believe in the word "ugly" no ones really "ugly to me") look like the most beautiful person ever.

I'm lucky because I'm blind so the first thing I can notice is personality. Of course my friends comment afterwards, but by that point the connection's already established.

Now if she were insanely overweight, I'd have a bit more to think about. Of course I'm in no position to speak with a BMI of 33.6, but that's why I'm trying to lose I guess.

Hmm looks are the first wall towards being interested in someone. There are lots of girls walking around and you cant get to know each of them...so all we have are the looks to start interest or not. People are going to pay much more attention to someone they find attractive then someone they dont. I dont walk past an 80 year old 300 pound woman and think "hmm, i wouldnt mind getting to know her a bit better".

But, looks arent just about weight... its how you dress and take care of yourself and a variety of other aspects which speak about who you are.

So, overweight is not the entire ball-game. But lots of extra weight simply means the person doesnt take care of themselves as they should (thats a big turn off... why would you want to date someone that cant take responsibility for their bodies?).

I guess, in the end, it comes down to "how overweight" like posted above. Weight isnt everything and i would date someone on the heavier side... but there is a limit and they would have to make up for being overweight VERY well in other aspects for me to be interested (and to be clear, i dont mean chestsize...i mean the other aspects i was talking about above).

loriklorik gets major rep points. if a man takes care of himself it is a dishonor to even be approached by a woman who doesnt. people are attracted to people like themselves. if i was fat i would date a fat girl..... because god knows attractive woman LOVE fat guys... haha yeah. Look, fat people are disgusting not because they are fat but because they have let themselves get fat... through things like depression, low self esteem, or stress. Who wants these things to come into their life and make them fat? Im not being mean, just honest. I am a Christian and do beleive that God loves everyone... but he loves our souls and our body is a temple and WE are responsible for the upkeep of our temple. When people finally realize that eatting if for NOTHING more than nutrition they become healthy. Ignorance is not an excuse to be fat.... i used to be overweight and felt the same way every overweight person feels. But i did something about it and now im a competitive bodybuilder. I would never date an overweight person and this is quite frankly because I beleive they would make excuses for other things the way they make excuses for their obesity.

Original Post by jasontarin:

loriklorik gets major rep points. if a man takes care of himself it is a dishonor to even be approached by a woman who doesnt. people are attracted to people like themselves. if i was fat i would date a fat girl..... because god knows attractive woman LOVE fat guys... haha yeah. Look, fat people are disgusting not because they are fat but because they have let themselves get fat... through things like depression, low self esteem, or stress. Who wants these things to come into their life and make them fat? Im not being mean, just honest. I am a Christian and do beleive that God loves everyone... but he loves our souls and our body is a temple and WE are responsible for the upkeep of our temple. When people finally realize that eatting if for NOTHING more than nutrition they become healthy. Ignorance is not an excuse to be fat.... i used to be overweight and felt the same way every overweight person feels. But i did something about it and now im a competitive bodybuilder. I would never date an overweight person and this is quite frankly because I beleive they would make excuses for other things the way they make excuses for their obesity.

 

 

Tell us how you really feel!!!!

beldav: You said it....Geez Jason, is it comfy up on that soap box?

I was going to comment on that too..haha

I mean could you have picked a better place to insult heavy people?!!? =P

It really depends on the individual woman. Some women can hold extra weight better than others...Bottom line, if I think the woman is attractive to me, then yeah I'd date her. If I don't, I won't.

And I've seen really obese girls say they won't date a guy who is less than 6' tall and without serious muscle mass, so it's not only guys who are overly picky. 

Original Post by jasontarin:

loriklorik gets major rep points. if a man takes care of himself it is a dishonor to even be approached by a woman who doesnt. people are attracted to people like themselves. if i was fat i would date a fat girl..... because god knows attractive woman LOVE fat guys... haha yeah. Look, fat people are disgusting not because they are fat but because they have let themselves get fat... through things like depression, low self esteem, or stress. Who wants these things to come into their life and make them fat? Im not being mean, just honest. I am a Christian and do beleive that God loves everyone... but he loves our souls and our body is a temple and WE are responsible for the upkeep of our temple. When people finally realize that eatting if for NOTHING more than nutrition they become healthy. Ignorance is not an excuse to be fat.... i used to be overweight and felt the same way every overweight person feels. But i did something about it and now im a competitive bodybuilder. I would never date an overweight person and this is quite frankly because I beleive they would make excuses for other things the way they make excuses for their obesity.

It is funny how projection works. Everything you do not allow yourself you do not allow in the people you associate with. They are too much of a confrontation with what you are scared of (becoming fat again). So if you reject someone else first you don't have the risk of being rejected yourself. That's the theory...

I give you credit for answering the question really honestly. At least that's what I think you did. But I think you need to do some thinking what your answer says about yourself. You may have shed the fat, but you haven't shed the convictions about yourself (yet). 

So as long as you don't give someone else a fair chance to be who they really are, you will not give yourself a fair chance to be who you are.

'Nough said for a couch psychologist, quiting my own projection right now, stepping off my soap box and out the door to find me a guy with some fat on his bones... a bit of fat is much softer than bones or muscles to lie on...

Jolanda