Question to anyone with loose skin after weight loss, like myself! (or anyone who knows someone with some)

Hello. Alright, so I have a bit of loose skin here and there. It's nothing crazy. It basically looks like wrinkles. I'm extremely self concious about it and won't wear a bathing suit, shorts, change clothes in front of anyone, etc. So, it's kinda hard for me to date and be really open, if you know what I mean lol..... Anyway, my question to the people like me is: do you find that men (or women) care in intimate situations, and are turned off by it? And if you are dating someone how long did it take you to tell them/show them? The question to the other people is...would it bother you? or do you know anyone who has had dating issues like this?

I really appreciate it lol. I'm just tired off really liking someone, and then having issues opening up to them completely or even letting them see my stomach/ where ever because of my loose skin.

Thank you! :)

Hey! While I know I might not be helping much, I just wanted to say congrats on your weight loss! 175 pounds is pretty spectacular.

I expect some very helpful people to give you plenty of useful advice on your issue. But I wanted to get you thinking of a scenario: say you met a really wonderful guy, for example a firefighter, and after getting to know him, he`d show you a large scar on his back, and proceed to tell you it was from when he dived into a burning building to save some people who were stuck in there. Would you find him any less attractive for it? My money says that quite the opposite is true.

Similarly, your wrinkles are a symbol of your battle. It doesn`t sound as spectacular to fight weight as it does flames, I agree. However, in the end, it all boils down to bravery, determination, and perseverence. Any guy that doesn`t admire you more after seeing the loose skin and hearing out the story is a guy that`s not worth your amazing self anyway.

By the time a guy is naked in a room with you, he's pretty well decided he wants to be there, you know? I'm sure that some loose skin here and there won't change his mind.

That being said, there are a number of creams on the market that are supposed to help with the appearance of loose skin. I myself have some extra around the tummy where my last baby stretched the skin beyond it's elasticity. I find that although most of the creams do in fact help with the appearance of my skin, they don't actually firm it up. I just opt out of buying bikinis, and don't wear really low rise jeans.

maiden, you look amazing, big congratulations!!!! Like chocorific said, use some firming creams, it'll help the skin shrink back some. You're young so your skin still have good elasticity. Another thing is do some strength training, if you're not doing yet. Building up some muscle will fill up and give a more tight appearance. I cannot say much about dating, I've been married for 20 years and my husband loves me big or small.

That being said, the most important is that you learn to love your unperfect self. I know that's easier said than done, we have an idea of how we would look after losing the weight and unfortunately there are always some trouble spots. But this is true for everybody, really, everybody! even skinny people. I also have some sagging skin, specially tighs that bother me, but I go ahead and use a bikini, what the heck, tanned tighs disguise sagging better than blinding white ones.  You have to put yourself out there responsibly but be prepared that there are going to be a--holes that won't like if you're less than perfect. Don't take it personally, it does not represent who you are or how you look, it's their problem. Learn that while you're young! But if you protect yourself from everybody you'll also might not get to know those that could care less and will love you just the same. You can probably find out before hand just by getting to know the guy and how he feels about looks, just by talking about celebrity bodies, for example. I don't know if it helped you but I just wanted to say you really look great!

Hi Maiden, You are adorable... I just looked at your pictures. Congrats!! If he Loves you he won't see them.

http://www.bodyfatguide.com/LooseSkin.htm

Maiden, try this link.  And the very best of luck to you.

With best regards, Lindy

Thank you guys :) I appreciate it. So, you're saying guys will look past this? I mean, I know not everyone looks like a super model and everyone has problem areas, but this is a not so typical type of issue. Granted, like you said ily51 if I was seeing a guy and it turned out he had a scar it wouldn't make me go "well, bye" if I really liked him. But guys are different...they're more into looks than we are, you know? Some more than others obviously but...I dunno, I just don't want to be with a guy that thinks I'm incredible, but is turned off by my wrinkles. But I guess like you said, if they really care, they won't focus on it. :/

Chocorific, thanks haha. That's what I was hoping, but I mean they are there to look at you ya know? I just figured it might be....I dunno, not a deal breaker, but a let down? But I am starting to try new creams and exfoliators now :)

Healthmd and wiltshirelass, I'm also strength training to try and make it tighten. But the problem is, I'm seeing more "bulk" and "pushing out" and no tightening. How can I change that?

Thank you Judy :) I hope you're right lol.

I'm just tired of being afraid of people seeing it. I can't afford surgery, and it scares me too. So....I'm looking for any alternative fixes :/. Or, people who don't care haha. ;)

You might want to ask devilish_patsy - she's into the weights and always gives good advice.

No guy worth having is gona care!!  Don't sell yourself short, if they do mind, they're not good enough for you anyway. 

My tummy is actually lopsided from my two c-sections (I guess not sewn back together exactly right, vertical incision from bellybutton down), no matter how much weight I lose, still have one side hanging down further than the other!  My hubby is 9 years younger than me & he has never cared a bit about the less than perfect parts.  He says that my imperfections just make me perfect for him!  :-) 

You are beautiful!  Believe that & never let anyone convince you of anything else! 

Original Post by maiden:

But guys are different...they're more into looks than we are, you know?

True or not, you don`t want to be with somebody who values looks over everything else that is the miracle of a human being. A guy who is like that will have a wandering eye issue and never be able to stay faithful, because no matter how perfect you may be, there`ll always be someone out there who is hotter than you.

Also, since we`re discussing perfection, guys can have flaws of their own, y`know? Even if they`re not too obvious to begin with. Case in point: first date with an ex, years ago. We were obviously very much into each other, and he asks 'So, what physical issues do you have?'. I told him about my cellulite, though embarrassed, because I figured he`ll be seeing it eventually if all goes well. At which point he laughs and asks 'Seriously? That`s your biggest issue? I have diabetes.'.

You look better than you think you do . I looked at your gallery as well, and I can't imagine a guy getting so turned off becuase of the skin.

Honestly, guys are so horny, if you had 3 noses they would see past that if they were hot enough. Being self conscious about an issue is a bigger roadblock than the actual issue itself, cause you care more than they do.

Maiden-I was looking at your gallery because I'm terribly nosey like that. My teenage son came up behind. He's always painfully honest. I said,"What do you think of her? Is she pretty?" He said, "I think she's kind of beautiful". There-a completely, blunt, truthful man's opinion.

I agree that your self-image hasn't caught up with the physical facts. You're looking great! 

EDIT: I meant to add that my son is autistic and incapable of lying to save someone's feelings. You always get the straight dope from him!

i saw you on MSN and thought you were really inspirational. i just had to put that in there :) you look perfect! it's hard to get self-confidence back, but i hope you're being healthy. i don't even see how you could have loose skin.