question on metabolism and physical fitness

hello. im 5' 4.5'' and 125-130 pounds depending on the day. i have a lot of muscle and a low body fat percentage because i exercise a lot, so even though im not stick thin im happy with my weight.

i have a few questions though. first, i just returned from a two week trip to California with my mom. she eats very little and doesn't think i should eat that much, so i basically starved, dropping to 500-800 calories a day from 3,000. how do i increase my calories without gaining a lot of weight/fat? i got back last night and ate an entire box of goldfish and cookies (more on that later) and obviously didn't feel good. also, she wouldn't let me run without her and we werent staying at places that had fitness rooms. on top of that, it was mostly a road trip so i didn't get much exercise in at all. how much muscle/cardiovascular fitness did i loose and how long will it take to get it back generally? i dont want to have 4 months of hard work go down the drain but it might have.

third question. like i said, im active so i need about 2800 calories or so a day. my raw meal plan is:

Breakfast: wasa, peanut butter, oatmeal, banana (500)

Snack: apple (100)

Lunch: turkey sandwich, veggies, almonds (400)

Snack: go lean (70)

Dinner: 500

Total: 1600

but obviously i need a lot more. the problem is, my parents cant know about it. how should i increase my calories healthily so i dont overeat on sweets and junk food?

thanks so much for your help in advance. i know this is a lot of information, but after eating so much sweets and junk last night im tired of overeating stuff i dont even like just because im so hungry. i would like to fix that problem by eating enough good stuff.

I'm a little confused.  You say your mom thinks that you are over-eating unless you are eating 800 calories a day?  If that is so, then I think you might need to focus on yourself and not what your mother thinks.  Eating disordered parents have their own issues and I applaud you for recognizing that you don't want to follow in your mother's footsteps. 

What concerns me even more is that you say that you know you need at least 2800 calories but it sounds like BOTH your parents disagree with this.  Am I reading that correctly??

Third, just because you have taken a few weeks off from the gym does not mean that you have lost all that you have worked towards.  The body is smart.  It remembers.  When you get back into your routine it will catch up very quickly.

However, it does worry me that you might have picked up very bad habits from your mother.  Have you considered talking to a therapist to work out these issues?

oh no..dont worry i completely understand what my body needs. ive tried talking to my mom (my dad doesnt pay the slightest attention to my eating habits or anyone elses but his for that matter) but shes a little stubborn. ive gotten over that obstacle by storing non-perishable foods other places, going to the store a lot (i can drive so i can buy an apple and a banana by the day if i have to) and other things. the only reason i couldnt get it around it during the trip is because i was with my mom constantly and nobody else was with us. normally shes not around me except for dinner time so its not that big of a deal. im about to go to college so im just making sure i get in my calories by "sneaking" food now.

by the way, your right about the fitness. i just ran 6 miles and it wasnt as bad as i thought.

however, i still need some advice for upping my calories even more cuz i know i need more than 1600. any ideas? thanks again!

I'm not sure I totally understand your family situation...but atleast it sounds like you are doing your best to be healthy. Certainly if you're feeling hungry, you need to eat more. And all that fabulous muscle mass does require fuel!

Fast,clean calories: Nuts (preferably raw/unsalted), cottage cheese, oatmeal, dried fruit, rice cakes spread with low-fat cheese or nut butter. They are a little pricey, but Clif bars are super - the Builders bars have 20grams protein and pack a lot of good calories. the good thing about bars is that they don't require any preparation and are "discrete" if you don't want to be seen eating for some reason.

As you know, you will feel so much better about yourself when you eat clean.  No yucky weighed-down feeling!

Good luck!

Really similar situation for me. My mum thinks that I shouldn't eat any more than I do at the moment (500-800cals a day), and if I eat more than that then I'm made to feel so so guilty. Her and my brother make really nasty comments, my bro especially about how fat I am. And it's compulsory for me to go to the gym/kickbox every day too.

I'm not losing weight and I just don't know what to do...

4 months of weight training won't go down the drain in 2 weeks, I think you're being really hard on yourself.

Your mother obviously has very unhealthy eating habits. I'm really hoping this doesn't affect you long term. I hope you can go off to college and forget about your mother's terrible diet advice. I know you say you totally disagree with your mother, and it's great that you want to eat more calories... but I'm wondering if your mother's voice is still in your mind somewhere? Because you started off your post almost trying to justify your weight of 120 - 130... but 120/130 IS very thin for someone of 5'4 and someone who also has a decent amount of muscle mass. Muscle ways a lot, so if you're managing to have muscle, and you're only like 120 lbs... that would usually look very small.

Anyways, if you want to up your calories... try and do it with high protein foods rather than overload on carbs or fat. But of course you need all 3 of these macronutrients. Lean meat, tofu/tempeh, cheese, oatmeal, rice, rice cakes, nuts...

i seem to have caused confusion (something im generally good at)

i eat at least 2000 calories a day. most of the time, i eat more, but its junk food. i want to increase my calories to 3,000 by healthy foods.

i do not eat 500-800 normally. i just did for this 2-week period while i was traveling with my mom. i know it was unhealthy, but like i said before, i had no choice but to deal with it.

i will try to eat more protein bars, more nuts (is it bad to have so many nuts though cuz i eat a lot of nuts), cheese, etc and can easily get in my fruits/veggies. thanks for the advice.