Question for those of you who are therapists

Do you hug your clients? Why or why not?

What do you do when a client becomes attached to you or dependent upon you? Do you refer them to someone else, or do yall work through it?

How long on average do you see a client? Is it usually around a year? Or longer like 10 years?

What led you to become a therapist? did something traumatic happen in your life, or were you just always interested in psychology?

I dunno if anyone will reply. And you may not even be allowed to...I know there are strict rules for therapists and social workers. If you can respond, thanks :)

I have had therapists that hug me-- and as an atty, I hug my clients-- both for happy stuff and sad stuff.  No matter how you are dealing with the scutt and emotion of human existence-- we all crave touch when we are under it all.  (something a few drs should learn)

A good therapist knows how to reassure with touch without crossing a boundary.

(and sorry, I just had to answer-- i think there is a reason we are called counselors....)

Are you looking into sw or psych?

I would be interested to know the answers to these from several therapists as well, as I plan to become one in the future and all. :D

I'm not a therapist, but I've been to many and the best of them were the huggers.  Well, the females that hugged.  I found it strange when the males hugged me.

I'm not a therapist but I've had many therapists and none of them hugged me.  I think it would be weird unless you are really close.. kinda like hugging a doctor.. weird.

I'm not currently working in the field, but I have my degree in counseling psych & have worked as a counselor in the past.  All of my answers below are just my opinions & every therapist and counselor is different in their approach, so others may feel differently.

Do you hug your clients? Why or why not? Never. This is completely stepping over professional boundaries in my opinion.  Therapists aren't your friends and family, they are professionals that happen to work with you on an emotional level.  Would it be weird if your travel agent or plumber hugged you?  To me it would be. 
Also -  I've been to many therapists over the years for a variety of reasons (some educational, some personal, some professional) and none have even hugged me.

What do you do when a client becomes attached to you or dependent upon you? Do you refer them to someone else, or do yall work through it?  This situation only happened me one time where it was so bad that we couldn't work through it.  Usually, when I noticed it happening (and as a therapist you should notice pretty quickly) I would immediately bring the issue up and address it as soon as possible.  Most people don't realize they are becoming dependent until they are completely dependent, so if you wait its too late.  Once its brought to the surface and addressed it can usually be worked through pretty easily unless there are severe co-dependancy issues that are present in the client's life prior to therapy beginning.  If you can't get the client past the dependancy issues you need to refer out.  If you don't you're acting unethically.

How long on average do you see a client? Is it usually around a year? Or longer like 10 years?  This is 100% dependant upon the client's issues.  Thre is no "average" amount of time.  Because of managed health care clients are usually only entitled to a certain number of visits so therapists have really had to change the way they practice.  There is alot more solution-focused and CBT therapy these days because they produce results quicker.  Clients with issues that aren't completely taking over their lives usually see a therapist pretty regularly at first, for about 4-6 months and then less regularly after that.  Once a client finds a therapist they like & connect with they usually stick with them, but only see them when things start going bad.  So I may see a client every couple weeks for a few months and then not ata ll for a year and then they may come back for a few sessions and so on.

What led you to become a therapist? did something traumatic happen in your life, or were you just always interested in psychology?  I like helping people.  Nothing traumatic has ever happened to me and until I  was about 27 I had never had anything in my life that was even really a struggle. I grew up in a home with 2 loving, happily married parents; a brother & a sister; more than  financially comfortable; got good grades, was popular, played sports; went to college; met my husband & got married... I really had (have) a life that could have been taken from a 1950's TV show. 
I like studying human behavior. My undergrad was in sociology & grad was in counseling psych.  I just really find humans & interactions & our society as a whole to be fascinating.  I don't work in the field right now because I have found that I much prefer to work with human interactions & humans as groups (sociology), rather than humans on the individual level (psychology).  I do love counseling though and will probably go back to practicing at some point.

Hope this helped.  Out of curiosity - why are you interested in these questions?

I'm not a therapist (though I aspire to be one someday!), but I've been to various psychologists.  None of them have ever hugged me.  I think it would have made me uncomfortable, and the full trust between patient and therapist would be broken.  The longest period I saw one therapist for was about two years.  I haven't even graduated high school yet... but I can say that some bad stuff has happened to me AND it's the most interesting field of study. (:

Original Post by jcl76:

I dunno if anyone out there is a therapist, but I thought I'd give it a shot and try anyway. I have a few questions.

Do you hug your clients? Why or why not?

i don't instigate, but if a client wants to give me a hug and it feels right, i hug.  success depends on the therapeutic relationship, so i honour the relationship.

What do you do when a client becomes attached to you or dependent upon you? Do you refer them to someone else, or do yall work through it?

first and best option is to work through it, but it's not always possible.

How long on average do you see a client? Is it usually around a year? Or longer like 10 years?

when i worked for a non-profit with youth, it was sometimes a couple of years.  sometimes a kid would be referred at 12 or 13 and we wouldn't get very far, and then they'd self-refer at 16 or 17.  because i had multiple jobs in multiple settings, there were kids that i sort-of followed for 10 years.  don't know yet how it's going to be in health care, but there are frequent fliers; if i stay in one setting long enough, it could easily be 10 years or more.

What led you to become a therapist? did something traumatic happen in your life, or were you just always interested in psychology?

it wasn't planned.  i just always analyzed, and people always confided in me.

I dunno if anyone will reply. And you may not even be allowed to...I know there are strict rules for therapists and social workers. If you can respond, thanks :)

i'm not a therapist, per se.  i was a community and school-based youth worker for about 12 years and now i'm a hospital social worker.

2 female counselors hugged me. one family doctor (male) hugged me.

Of the counselors, 1 I saw for 2 years, and she'd hug me as I left. She was a spiritual healer/counselor. It was nice. Not weird. Best counselor I'd ever had.

the other was a counselor I saw for 2 sessions, so it was a little awkward.

the doctor hugged me because that was at my worst, I had just told him why I was there - that I almost drove across traffic before I caught myself and realized what I was about to do and I was terrified I was going to hurt myself without even thinking about it. I was crying hysterically and he kind of gave me a side hug - He felt so awful for me, it was the sweetest thing. You could tell he felt awkward doing it and was trying not to seem pervy but that I really, really needed one. He is still my GP.

Psychiatrists are **** and wouldn't even be considerate, much less huggy. I've been to 4 different psychs and hated them all.

I think it is appropriate if both parties are comfortable. Like someone above said - people need the human touch.

my obgyn/surgeon hugged me.  twice.  she became very warm and fuzzy, but only after she cut me open.  i'd seen her four or five times before the surgery (1.5 years), and she was always very professional and a little aloof, but then she operated on me and i had complications and i saw her almost daily in the hospital.  she started calling me "my dear."  and then i was leaving town, so she hugged me goodbye.  and then i hemoraged and ended up back in hospital, so we had to have another goodbye scene.

i was pretty attached by then, too.

My therapist told me I was hitting on him  becuase all I spoke with him about was my issues with the men I was dating and also b/c I always came to his office dressed up (ummm.....in college I liked to wear dresses and look pretty).  I abrubltly left his office.

So, if a therapist hugged me now, I'd get freaked out.

I ask these questions not because I want to be a therapist, but because I'm in therapy and I was curious about these things. My therapist (now former) was very emotional, and so we often hugged. I became attached to her pretty quickly and intensely, and it was very hard for me to move on. My parents didn't want me to see her anymore because I was so attached. I'm about to start therapy with a MALE haha which should be interesting. I think it's good for me, though, because I tend to get attached to mother-like figures - women who are around my mom's age. I doubt I'll get attached to a guy.

Vanessa, your therapist sounds like he has some problems of his own. I think I would've slapped him!!

Thanks again everyone!