Asking questions to myself.

Last year I struggled with bulimia (binging and purging) and then restricting but it gradually got better and when I moved away to Uni it basically completely went away which was great to not have food as the only thing pre-occupying my mind for once.  However, now I am back for Easter and suddenly all I can think about is my body, binging and purging and last night I completly relapsed and it happened. I just dont understand-what is happening?! Does this mean that home was the cause all along?

I actually cant deal with this. My mum was just like god your hips are so wide emily...what is that supposed to mean?!?! and actually made a point of measuring them?! I actually cant deal with it anymore. I was absolutely fine and now all I can think about is throwing up the dinner she is just cooking for me.

parents are absolutely clueless and stupid...

does your mum know about your history? sit down with her and tell her she is NOT helping. ask her why she made the comment and demand she never says anything about your body again unless its a positive comment. And even then, choose her words carefully. Anorexia/bulimia has a way of twisting all words and comments into negatives.

Communication is key.

{Hug}

When you're busy and engaged in a new activity, such as being at uni, you're automatically less preoccupied with yourself.  The holidays are always a major come-down when you've been used to so much personal freedom.  Clearly your mum has some definite ideas of how big/small anyone should be.  Many mums do.  If you were underweight when you left for uni but you've been eating properly since, she'll be seeing a big change in you.   If she's always been very size/body conscious (is she quite slim herself?) then you may have picked up on any 'fat is bad' messages in the past and hence the bulimia.

However.... Do remember that you're exactly the same person you were last week and you can make a choice now whether you're going to react in the same way as the child you used to be (throwing up) or whether you're going to progress, be assertive and react like the adult woman you've become. 

BTW... speaking as a parent we are not all "clueless and stupid"  But we're not perfect either.

Yes you are right in saying that she is very petite herself. Now that I have become aware of her criticalness I cant help noticing it and it just keeps making me more and more angry. Like just now when my 10 year old brother wanted a biscuit she wa slike just like no you have had too many, have a banana, you dont wanna feel embarassed in your swimming trunks. why should he feel embrassed?!?!?! makes me so mad and makes me think that maybe i never would of had any problems if it hadnt been for her. i cant help but be in a mood with her because of this very reason. i always feel like she is looking at me trying to find something to criticies raaaa!