How to QUICKLY lose 10-20lbs!

Well, the first thing you have to decide is this:

Do you prefer your left leg or right leg?

It's that easy! Just choose which leg you prefer and cut the other one off! 10-20lbs gone just like that!

Is that too extreme? Here's method #2:

Restrict your calories to less than 1200 calories a day! Your body will soon burn up all your muscle mass -- just like that! Sure, you'll have a slower metabolism and become "skinny fat", but heck, you'll be losing weight -- and that's all you really wanted right? Oh, and who cares if you're malnutritioned? It'll all be worth it -- even when your skin dries up and your hair starts falling out.   

Don't bother listening to any of the advice from others telling you to consume more than 1200 calories a day. They're not interested in your health or success! No -- they want to sabotage you! In any case, you're damn smart and don't need their advice! After all, you've done all the research, right? Exactly!

So, go on! Lose those pesky pounds!

**IN CASE IT WASN'T BLATANTLY OBVIOUS, I WAS BEING SARCASTIC IN ORDER TO GET A POINT ACROSS** 

I'm sure many of you have seen The Simpsons, right? Their ENTIRE show is based off using satire to get their point across. That's why it is one of the longest running shows in history!

"It's funny 'cause it's true!"

my right leg for sure! it has an ugly scar on it!