If you ran into your scale...

If you ran into your scale in a dark alley with no one around and knew no one would see you....what would you do/say to it?

...I find this to be a really fascinating question because I have absolutely nothing against the scale. It's just a piece of machinery that reports facts. I have something against myself for letting my body get to the point where I dread the scale.

"Hi, scale! Imagine meeting you in this dark alley!"

i like my scale.  it tells me the truth.  if i ran into my scale in a dark alley, i'd ask what it was doing out after curfew, and i'd bundle it up and take it home.

"Oh crap! Not you again"

"How the hell did my scale get into an alley?"

You'd think it would be some sort of cutscene reminiscent of the Office Space beating of the copy machine, right?

But, nah, I'd say, "Aw, come over here, you poor thing, let's get you out of the rain." *wraps scale in blanket and cuddles*

Heh.

I think I would take it to Target and set it down and then cheat on it by stepping on one of the stores scales.  But my scale is cheap he doesn't pay for anything when we go out!

When did you start walking?

i'd make my scale get on another scale and feel the sense of impending doom that it makes me feel...empathy goes a long way...so maybe next time it will look at me and take pity :)

"Y can't you just read my goal weight!"

"Having consulted with my colleagues and based on the information gathered from the Nigerian Chambers Of Commerce And Industry, I have the privilege to request your assistance to transfer the sum of $47,500,000.00 (forty seven million, five hundred thousand United States dollars) into your accounts. The above sum resulted from an over-invoiced contract, executed, commissioned and paid for about five years (5) ago by a foreign contractor. This action was however intentional and since then the fund has been in a suspense account at The Central Bank Of Nigeria Apex Bank....."

I'd take off my clothes and weigh myself!

1.  First I would say to myself:  Why in the world am I in a dark alley?

2.  Then after wondering how it got there, I would pick it up, take it back home, and put it under the bathroom counter to gather dust where it belongs.

I probably wouldn't recognize it since I hardly ever use it.  Once a month maybe. 

"Are you a scale that actually works? Or are you going to give me 3-4 different answers in a couple of steps as well?" Lmao.

"Hey scale! Why did I pay 20 dollars for you so I could get an accurate electronic reading if you keep on changing your mind every 2 seconds!"

I'd take a big @ss bat and beat the crap out of it!!! It would be in a million pieces. lol

My scale and I don't get along very well.....