can i rant?

i seriously wanna die right now!!!!

it's 8:15 pm here, and i just finished eating 400 cals worth of WHITE bread and 100 cals canned tuna. this is my late dinner. i wanted to stop on the first serving but i didnt. i had 2 more servings. 500 cals for a late dinner? errrrr. i hate myself.

i ate pretty badly today. i had peanut butter white crackers for bfast, 2 packs of choco muffins, and a strawberry jam cracker for snacks.. all with hydrogenated veg oil. i dunno what gotten into me. first, i had no choice, i've got an empty fridge, and that's all i can buy from the nearest store in my house.

i'm so pissed that i just wanna eat everything bad. HEEEELLLLPPP!

as of now, my total calorie intake is around 1850. about 80% bad calories!

I think that if you are having these type of extreme feelings from eating 1850 a day which is a range of a normal eater and for some is very little you need to look at what is really going on mentally. I understand these feelings but rationally this is not a lot of food. Now maybe you could of picked better food choices but everyone has those days where they eat less then healthy.  Maybe you can make it a priority to have a house stocked with healthy choices

Keep your eye on the prize. Little blips here & there of "improper" eating really don't make that much of a difference. As long as the rest of your week/month/life you're constanly improving & trying to do better, you'll accomplish your goals.

I realize you're feeling defeated, but today is a new day; what's done is done; start fresh.

Try to eliminate the "all or nothing" talk from your inner monologue. It doesn't serve you. Eating everything bad won't make anything better from eating a "bad" dinner.

IMHO 500K isn't bad at all.

Yum.   I tend to take "bad" days in stride and just workout consistently.   I agree with what's been said.  The worst thing you can do it take a negative attitude toward eating.   1850 is a good "bad" day for me.   I've had many, many "worse" days (pizza, regular, not lite beer, & ice cream all at once) where I don't even bother with counting calories because I can't count that high.  .   Nevertheless, I've lost 9 lbs since 1/5/09.   It all evens out in the end.  Ultimately, a week of good days and bad days are good habits I can live with, and I'm no longer on a diet, but on a new lifestyle. 

pixie, please don't panic, that's not enough calories to make you fat even if you eat like that often. The quality of the food is a concern: I am often stuck with shopping at the corner store because I don't want to drive in the snow (I just stocked up on groceries after more than 2 weeks of it) and I've found there are good and worse choices. A tuna sandwich for supper is an OK choice, but do they have something beside white bread? My corner store has 60% whole wheat, which isn't 100% WW but is much better than white. Do they have canned soup? Juice? Look around and be creative. It's hard to buy good food in a junk food store but you can make an improvement, I'm sure.

Well what did you expect?  You ate junk all day which only leads to more cravings for junk.  A calorie is a calorie, but if you're spending it on crap, it's not going to repay you very well.

dattaplot i dont really see any need to be so harsh. pixienaa said she needed to rant. if it makes you feel any better, i am having the same kind of day. i have been doing very well, i used to have a little bit of a binging problem, and i have been not binging really at all lately so i was happy and i feel like my stomach has shrunk i look skinnier. today was not so hot. im so mad b/c i just like chose to do it. i hadn't had a workout day off for awhile so i decided to take today and i usually do worse on those days. came home from class and i wanted ice cream b/c i hadn't had it in awhile, ended up purposely buying the pint that only has 180 cals/serving (4 servings in 1 pt.) "in case" i ate the whole thing, and of course i did. i spread it out a bit but still im so angry. and i had triscuits with cheese, starbursts, jelly beans, and veggies the only good part of my day. ERRRR i feel your anger!!! although im planning to workout tomorrow and make it a really good day. i find as long as i get back on the wagon im fine. but still. my stomach probs expanded and i will be hungrier tom. mad mad mad. and i hate feeling full yick. ok. hope that makes you feel like you are the only one!

i forgot i also had a 100 cal granola bar damn it.

thanks for everyone's advices. i feel better now. yes it's a new day. and i started clean. i had oatmeal w/ a tbsp of cocoa powder for added flavor and half a can of tuna.. :D i feel happy. and i'm going to exercise later..

i'm just so glad i signed up here. it helps me a lot to stay motivated. THANK YOU!!! 

Original Post by rikaj:

dattaplot i dont really see any need to be so harsh. pixienaa said she needed to rant. if it makes you feel any better, i am having the same kind of day. i have been doing very well, i used to have a little bit of a binging problem, and i have been not binging really at all lately so i was happy and i feel like my stomach has shrunk i look skinnier. today was not so hot. im so mad b/c i just like chose to do it. i hadn't had a workout day off for awhile so i decided to take today and i usually do worse on those days. came home from class and i wanted ice cream b/c i hadn't had it in awhile, ended up purposely buying the pint that only has 180 cals/serving (4 servings in 1 pt.) "in case" i ate the whole thing, and of course i did. i spread it out a bit but still im so angry. and i had triscuits with cheese, starbursts, jelly beans, and veggies the only good part of my day. ERRRR i feel your anger!!! although im planning to workout tomorrow and make it a really good day. i find as long as i get back on the wagon im fine. but still. my stomach probs expanded and i will be hungrier tom. mad mad mad. and i hate feeling full yick. ok. hope that makes you feel like you are the only one!

i forgot i also had a 100 cal granola bar damn it.

it's really frustrating when you just can't control ur cravings. sometimes i try to think that i need to stop, but then i think again, why not indulge? i don't do this everyday right? aaarrrggghh!

it's even horrible afterwards, when ur done bingeing and u feel the guilt.

bad days, bad days.. oh well.

I wasn't trying to be harsh.  It's just that the OP was treating her binge like it was something that just snuck up on her at night, when in reality, her choices throughout the day only set her up for it.  I've had a binging problem for a while myself, and one of the things I've learned is that I really have no one to blame but myself.  It's a weakness that I give into when I eat crap for the day, and you can't just tell yourself it's 'one day' because then you tell yourself that every day.

It's all about being accountable for what you put in your mouth.

I hate days like that--but you know what?  It's just one little, little day.  It doesn't really mean much in the long run.  Just resolve to do a little better tomorrow.  Your reaction worries me a little--I'm a perfectionist and I know what it's like to be really disappointed with yourself.  It just makes me sad to see someone else feeling that way.