Rant about triggering posts

I am trying my absolute hardest to recover from an eating disorder. I found this site while I was still deep within the drips of anorexia, and I found an amazing recovery support group that pushed me to make those tentative steps towards my recovery journey. I don't know if I would've chosen recovery had it not been for them ("them", being most of the wonderful people on the ED recovery club II)

While I was still not ready for recovery, I avoided the forums like the plague. I read all the posts but I never posted how little I weighed and how little I ate. Never. Why? Because the posting guidelines clearly state:

Promotion of starvation diets or habits that exhibit signs of an eating disorder ("pro-ana", "pro-mia", etc.) is prohibited.

So why is it that the forums are being poluted by so many pro-ED posts? It's constant! "Omg I'm so fat I only ate 700cal today, is that enough?" ARG! SHUT UP!!!

To someone like myself who is struggling to keep healthy, these posts are simply NOT HELPFUL - not when these girls are complaining about eating in a day as many cals as I do in one meal... It's just so frustrating and I really do wish it would stop because the guilt factor gets to my head

Amen, Amen, Amen!!!!! These posts are really starting to piss me off, and I haven't even been around for a very long time. I completely agree with everything you said; there are a bunch of triggering posts, and as someone who just recently started recovery, it is hard not to be triggered by numbers like those.

Don't go crazy.. and keep up the good work!!!

I agree that people shouldn't do it. It's very unhelpful and inconsiderate. Some people just seem to be attention-seeking rather than anything else, which is especially annoying. On the other hand, there are going to be "triggers" everywhere you look, both online and in the real world, and I think that part of recovery is accepting that and overcoming it - at the end of the day, it's down to you.

Hi  there - that's the pretty lady that reminds me of my daughter-in-law (the one that started this thread).

What I see is people not only posting on this particular topic that is negative, but scores of NEGATIVE REMARKS - it's become almost a 'trend' to be snotty - non-supportive, and I know we've had some moderators (like NYCGirl) come in, and 'calm' things down.

I think these people are bored; nothing to do - not happy with themselves, so they have to drop by and put a 'monkey-wrench' in the works.

Years ago, people who were tired of being over-worked would toss a monkey-wrench into the automated equipment; it would foul up the equipment - they'd have to SHUT IT DOWN TO FIX IT, and that was the only way these over-worked laborers could 'get a break'.  That's why the term 'monkey-wrench' is still used today.

Try to realize they are SAD PEOPLE; SOMETIMES THEY ARE SERIOUSLY OVER-WEIGHT PEOPLE, AND THEY RESENT ANYONE WHO IS NOT OVER-WEIGHT TO THE DEGREE THEY ARE.  Some people (this is a global site), are HUNGRY - THEY HAVE LITTLE IN THEIR LIFE, TO MAKE THEM HAPPY - so they have to come by, and try to 'hurt you', so you'll feel as badly as they do.

RISE ABOVE IT - always 'consider the source' - BE STRONG WITH YOUR OWN CONVICTIONS - KNOW THAT YOU ARE DOING GOOD FOR YOURSELF; THAT YOU ARE 'PRETTY' - 'HANDSOME' - and that you don't have to resort to such tactics as these.

Think:  Pathetic people - the more they try to hurt you, it means the MORE THEY ARE HURTING.

Don't get too riled up; just ignore their reply, or tell them that you're sorry they're so unhappy and in such turmoil, that they have to strike out against you.

Some people are very lonely; the sadness of it all, is they don't reach out in a 'kind way' - they think it won't get them attention.  If they are 'cruel or hurtful', they feel invigorated by the fact they've inflicted a bit of 'pain' - it is always their own bitterness, that is eating them.

And old saying is:  THE ACID HAS TO EAT THROUGH THE VESSEL TO GET TO THE OUTSIDE.............they are being 'eaten up' - it is leaking onto your remarks - feel sympathy for them, and go on.  Diane

I totally agree with the girl who started this thread. I am 100lbs overweight and have the same reaction to those types of posts too. I see some girl talking about how fat she is at 103 lbs and that she can't believe she pigged out and ate 700 cals that day and then I start feeling like a big fat pathetic loser. I mean, if she thinks she's fat, then what do people think when they see me? Posts like that can trigger someone like me into depression and binging as easily as they can trigger someone who is recovering from an ED. I do wish this board had more monitors that could spend the time dealing with people who make those kind of posts. Sure, many of those people have EDs and need help, but they should not be allowed to continue making posts like that on here once someone has pointed out the rules to them.

It would be helpful, if when you see a post you think violates the guidelines, you would please click on the "report violation" link.  This will bring it to the immediate attention of the moderators for consideration.  We can't possibly read every single post - there are thousands of new ones every day.  Help us out with this.  We monitors are volunteers who give our time to you, but we can't do it all.

You can also PM one of the moderators.  The moderators of each forum are listed at the top of the forum. 

And don't worry, nobody "gets into trouble".  Your report is confidential.  If we do have to delete a post, the member is notified of the reason and there are no hard feelings towards them.

 

I agree to an extent. I just believe that every once in awhile a legit one comes along. Ya know....the girl/guy that really does not know or believe they have problem and are reaching out!
But yes, it can be so very annoying. Best of luck to you in your healing!!!!

It is annoying, frustrating etc etc. but this wasn't ever a forum designed to cope with ED's and so there are no specific rules, no forums just for those with an ED.

Truth be told there should be a forum for those with an ED or trying to gain weight as this website was originally designed more towards those trying to loose weight. As it is the rules are still geared mainly towards loosing weight and so there are no "strict" guidelines that typically work well in a recovery environment aren't enforced as there aren't any.

If it ever does get to much there are other ED forums on the net which you could use as well as this one and would probably be more able to support you.

Good luck with your recovery.

the problem, curalio, is that these posts don't crop up in the "ED forum" (which is basically the Health & Support forum, BTW) but on the weight loss forum... and these problematic posters actually want to lose weight, not recover from their EDs.

I agree that they are dangerous posts, and have been saying for a while now that they are triggering and unhelpful to those who are here to learn how to eat healthily. And that CC's weight loss forum should NOT be open to those who are either a) trying to reach an unhealthy weight, i.e. BMI under 18.5 or b) trying to lose weight by semi-starvation, i.e. under 1200 calories a day.

I am all for educating people and helping them realize that what they are doing is unhealthy (and sure, sometimes they might not actually know, though most know quite well and don't want healthy advice), but the way to do that is to delete the post/thread (for the protection of others) and for the mods send people messages in their inboxes directly, advising them of the danger of their goal or method (it can even be a customizable "form" email). That way the poster is helped, AND the forum readers are helped.

I'm saying that there SHOULD be an ED forum.

And it SHOULDN'T be in the h&s forum because that's filled with ED posts and all other posts get pushed off the front page.

There SHOULD be an ED / Gaining weight / recovery forum because there needs to be a place with stricter rules, moderators just for there and better support.

Having an ED forum should be open to all ED's, including binge eating disorder.  So while there would be threads about people trying to eat their calories for the day, there would also be threads about people trying to stay within their calories for the day.  I don't really know how that'll work out.  It just seems like the different eating disorders would clash and everyone would still be unhappy.

The problem is, though, these people don't see themselves as having a problem other than being "too fat" and would not post in an ED forum - that's why they're posting on the weight loss forum.

Now, one could always move their threads to the new "ED forum" if we have one, but that's not where they'd want to be, as they are not recovering and have no interest in helping others recover. Which means that "ED forum" would be the worst place for those posts anyway, as those who CAN be triggered would be there.

Better to just delete those posts and threads.

unfortunately, you're the only one who knows what's going to be triggering to you.  so you have to be your own filter.  start blocking posters - it's very liberating!!

Maybe we should use a script - something informative but clear - on what they're doing and maybe where they should be posting?

I too am recovering from an ED, and I do agree with you that posts can be triggering. We could try filtering these posts or whatever. But I also see anorexic people now and again, and they are also triggering. UH OH, where's the filter button?

They do get annoying, but remember that some of the posts are BS, and some are truthful. If you are annoyed by the post, then don't respond. "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say nothin' at all."

I couldnt agree more!!! Thank you for bringing this up..because I feel the exact same way.

I just returned from the hospital after being inpatient for 2 months, and I'm finally on the path of recovery. When I was there I was force fed 4000+ calories a day to gain weight.. Now when I hear ppl freak out over 1g of fat I want to scream!! Come on sweetie do the math- you CANT gain weight off of that!

Its so disturbing and triggering. I try to keep myself away from these forums and I now go to somethingfishy.com where they have a monitored ED recovery forum-no #s, bragging,etc.

So anyway, sorry for my rant. Good luck to everyone in recovery!! It IS possible and SO worth it!!

Hugs I agree Its not fair to you guys that are trying to get better and its hard to read those posts and have those thoughts get in your head. Its not like a switch you can just turn off So reading it isnt easy! Unfortantly im not sure how we can stop them from posting those types of post! HUGS

muttlover, the filter is in your head.  no, there's no button.

I have actually seen websites devoted to recovering from eating disorders, they warn you of triggering posts or information on their forums.

This is not a specialized eating disorder website. It is mainly a weight loss/maintenance website.

I think if you come here with that problem, and this site bothers you or you use it to further your own problems or others problems, there is really no room to rant.

If you want, I can surf and find website links to appropriate places for people who do not have a somewhat normal need for weight loss...and struggle with anorexia nervosa and bulimia. I am kind of tired myself of people fishing for only sympathy and attention when they have no intent to change their behavior.