Are we ready...

I'm 30, I've been with my husband for 5 years now, got married last May. We have a house, great careers, stability, we've travelled and we love each other very much... so all is perfect. Most of our friends have kids but none of that affect us in a way that we want to have kids now...until my best friend (which had the same lifestyle and situation as us) gave birth in August... Since then, we have been talking to friends, family about kids... we're analyzing it but we're not sure we're ready... I feel like it would be easier if an "accident" would happen.. We've never had the baby bug before, up until now we weren't even sure to HAVE babies... What made you sure that you were ready

Hi. I'll tell you my story, since it's similar to yours. Mu DH and I were planning on having babies one day......but just toying with the idea. We both work, I was 30 (now 31) and really just loving life as it was. We both had our own lives, freinds, house; stable and happy. One day; I woke up feeling "different" and I KNEW I was pregnant. I took a test (6 actually) and I was!! I never been so happy, surprised and excited in my whole LIFE! I messed my pill up by accident (I was on it for eight years!!) and BOOM! Julia.

Life after Julia has been a roller coaster. Schedules get shuffled; and I felt emotions I never thought possible. I was concerned about getting my body back; I didn't feel like my DH was pitching in enough- I won't lie; I had a rough first three months dealing with the fact that I was a mom and my whole selfish life had been changed completely.

Fast forward three months later and now I've opening discussed my feelings with my DH and things are WAY better; I have my groove on with schedules; daycare and feedings. I never want to go back to my pre-baby life. Been there, done that. I'm back at work and working towards the ultimate balance....which may never acutally happen; but it's nice to have goals LOL.

I had a wonderful, happy pregnancy. I LOVED being pregnant. And now I love being a momma. Nothing will ever make you feel 100% ready. But it is so worth the ride. Give it some thought; maybe see what happens? Throw caution to the wind and chuck the birth control? Your choice.

Best of luck to you- this is a new phase in your life when something may seem "missing". not that you should fill a void w/ a baby; but if it's something that you're thinking about and feel confident you can give that child a happy home; then why not?

Thank you so much for sharing this. It's nice to see that you got the hang of it! I wish a real "accident" would happen, it would make the decision much easier... As for the last part: "Something missing" that's exactly what we're feeling right now...

Things we enjoyed before (shopping, travelling, eating out...) just don't do it for us anymore... it's like our lives don't have a meaning... Anyway, thank you soooo much...

Lucie

by the way: she's such a cutie!!!!

i can't begin to even tell you the sheer joy that literally surges through my body when i hear her laugh and see her smile.  I'm actually tearing up now!!  And, thanks!  She is a beauty!  LOL

BTW-  shopping isn't as easy when you have a stroller; but the joy of having your own shopping partner in training is priceless!

hahaha, shopping partner in training??? That's what my mom did to me!!!!

My story is similar to Vanessa's except I wasn't married and we hadn't talked about having children. I was 21, on birth control pills (since age 16) and had just been laid off. We partied a lot and enjoyed being young and stupid. When we found out I was pregnant, we were devistated by the change in our lifestyle. We grew up pretty quickly and started looking forward to our little family. Words cannot describe how happy my daughter (and now son, too) make my husband and myself. Every day I look forward to seeing her face light up when I pick my daughter up from daycare or holding my infant son and inhaling the smell of his hair. It sounds silly and sappy but my children are my life. Sure, it's tough at times both financially and emotionally but it's well worth it. My daughter isn't perfect and she sometimes makes it tough on us (there's nothing harder than having to punish her) but she has made us better people. We don't make a lot of money but we own a home, have health insurance, can put food on the table and we love our children.

We were hesitant to have a second child and just decided to go for it. We would make it work when things got tough and have supportive family and friends to fall back on if need be. We're doing great right now with our two kids.

Also, it's fantastic when you have close friends with children somewhat close to your own age-wise. I only have one friend (my husband is also friends with her husband) who has a daughter a year younger than mine and will (in 4 weeks) have a daughter that is 6 months younder than my son. Having playmates for your kids and an adult to talk to who understand what you're going through are priceless. I really wish I had more friends with kids.

So...after we already had one child, we knew we wanted another one. We thought a 4 year age difference was appropriate (I'm 3 years older than my sister, my husband is 7 years younger than his sister so it's kind of a happy medium). We figured if we kept waiting on money then we'd never have a second child so we just started trying at the beginning of 2008...kind of a resolution!

Only the two of you can make the decision but I will tell you this: if you keep coming up with reasons to wait, you'll never have kids because everyone always wants to have more that what they currently have for their children (money; bigger, newer house; better cars; better hours at work; etc.).

Best of luck to you!

Thanks Bier, I agree with you, there's never a perfect timing... you just have to go for it!

Okay, first...no one is ever "ready" to have a baby.  it's all a learn-as-you-go process.  As the mother of three, and on my fourth, I asked myself with each one "What am I doing?!  Am I ready?!  Should we do this?!".  I think it's just the change that scares us and makes us react that way.  Just be READY for the challenge and blessings.  Maternal instincts are miraculous and once that baby arrives you'll be fine!

Good luck!!!