Realistic Body Image - I am not conforming to society's standards

Sadly there are very few images of black beauty in the media. When you see ethnic beauty it is usually Latina or Asian. Yes we have Gabrielle Union, Sanaa Lathan, and Taraji Henson but they are "slender". On the "plus" side we have Jennifer Hudson and Monique. There aren't many images that spotlight the category in between "slender" and "plus size".

Personally I think Halle Berry, Scarlett Johansson, Kate Beckinsale, Charlize Theron, and many others are beautiful. However, they are all that you see. I cannot aspire to be a slender/skinny woman. It is not gonna happen. Even if I could, I don't want to look like that. 

I posted new pics on my profile of ladies with bodies that I admire. While searching for pics, I saw some posts online regarding Serena Williams in a bikini that made me want to vomit. People calling her a tranny, a monkey, etc. I think her body is fierce and the fact that she still has boobs and a butt is amazing considering how athletic she is. I have seen the same things written about First Lady Michelle Obama. Because she has hips and a butt, many feel that she's fat. Both of these woman workout on a regular basis. I don't believe they could do anything else to have better physiques other than have plastic surgery.

I love Angela Bassett's body. That woman is 50 years old and looks better than most 20 somethings.

All I know is that when I told my fiancee that I wanted to lose some weight the first thing he said was "I don't want a skinny woman so don't overdo it". I am working to be the best "healthy" me that I can be. I am 5' 1" but have never been "petite". I have always had hips and a butt. I am a size 14 now at 184 lbs. At my goal weight of 144 lbs. I am a perfect size 10. I am muscular and curvy. At my best I would look more like Serena Williams or Ki Toy Johnson in a bikini...and I am more than happy to aspire to that.

Women of color carry weight beautifully, at all body types.

Good for you, honey, wanting to get strong instead of 'thin'. :)

Thank you lady. I think a woman regardless of her ethnicity/body type carries weight well as long as she is healthy. There is also a lot to be said about dressing to flatter your body type. The sad thing is you just don't see that in what society promotes.

I have 4 nieces that are 18, 15, 11, and 4. The only one that isn't developed yet is the 4 year old LOL I want them to grow up with healthy body images for themselves...

Beautiful women.  I envy their booty. :) I'll never have one like that which is something I've accepted... But.. It think it's so attractive!

btw:First Lady Michelle Obama is so healthy/fit in my mind. I don't understand how anyone could suggest otherwise. I think your goal is perfect because it's suited to your body. I love that! There was a post on here about being a ' size 0 ' the other day. It's laughable. A fitness goal should be centered around you. Not a number! On a tag and/or scale. imo.

Original Post by change_in_sc:

Thank you lady. I think a woman regardless of her ethnicity/body type carries weight well as long as she is healthy. There is also a lot to be said about dressing to flatter your body type. The sad thing is you just don't see that in what society promotes.

I have 4 nieces that are 18, 15, 11, and 4. The only one that isn't developed yet is the 4 year old LOL I want them to grow up with healthy body images for themselves...

 Agree about dressing. It's frustrating, the options for heavy girls.

I hear you very loud and clear...UNFORTUNATELY we live in a society where a certain standard of beauty is dominant and is ethnically based.  This is widespread and far reaching across the globe...I am very doubtful it will change.  I've lived in many countries and it saddens me when what we are being fed to be beautiful and feminine.  I try not to be pessimistic but I have not seen anything to say otherwise.  As much as the powers that be try to talk a good talk about acceptance, uniqueness and beauty in differences; their actions show otherwise. 

It is sad that an athlethes body is considered wrong but Kiera Knightly is considered right.

Look good for who you are, not "like a beautiful black woman" or "an ethnic beauty". Just being the same race doesn't make you similar to Serena Williams. I don't think that even positive discrimination is productive. You don't have to aspire to be like anyone else, just you, and maybe a better you.

I agree totally with you - size 0 is ok for some people, but completly irrational for others....those ladies in your profile are awesome....I know if/when I lose it I will always have a butt and boobs...and I'm happy about that...and I'm not ethnic..it's just the way the women in my family are! Thanks for writing this...it kind of cheered me up.

Original Post by ibez:

Look good for who you are, not "like a beautiful black woman" or "an ethnic beauty". Just being the same race doesn't make you similar to Serena Williams. I don't think that even positive discrimination is productive. You don't have to aspire to be like anyone else, just you, and maybe a better you.

 It's not discrimination. One of my best friends is Filipino and she is the exact same body type as mine which is not common with most Filipino women. My white girlfriend Jocelyn would be crazy to try and look like Serena. I use her and others as my muse because I have a similar build. If she were white I could still use her as my muse. In my 36 years of living I have only met 1 white lady that had a similar build to mine. I see color and it is not a bad thing. We are all human but there are very distinct differences. Therefore I am not going to strive to look like someone that I cannot. There just needs to be greater representation of all types of beauty.

Original Post by ameame:

I agree totally with you - size 0 is ok for some people, but completly irrational for others....those ladies in your profile are awesome....I know if/when I lose it I will always have a butt and boobs...and I'm happy about that...and I'm not ethnic..it's just the way the women in my family are! Thanks for writing this...it kind of cheered me up.

 Glad I could put a smile on your face Keep up the good living!

Why does any woman of any color have to aspire to look like airbrushed photos of celebrities?  Why not just celebrate your very own uniqueness and beauty?  It all comes from within.

Original Post by clairelaine:

Why does any woman of any color have to aspire to look like airbrushed photos of celebrities?  Why not just celebrate your very own uniqueness and beauty?  It all comes from within.

 I don't want to look exactly like a celebrity. I couldn't if I tried. I wasn't born to be a carbon copy of anyone else. I accept my body type. In real life I see black women that are built like the ladies in the pics on my page on an everyday basis. Many work out but even more don't. They are just built that way. My point is that I can do what Serena does to keep her butt in shape because I  have a similar butt.

Name another actress/model/athlete that is internationally known that is built like Serena? Slender ladies have had plenty that they can use as a muse. I personally know medium/large frame women that are using those same muses and that is where ED and self hate come into play. If being healthy was promoted and shown in a diverse way, I don't think we would have as many women wrestling with those issues. Most b

I say black women because I am a black woman but I would love to see diversity period. The plus size model that won ANTM (what was she, a size 8?) is hot but you don't see her anywhere! It seems they find the smallest and tallest of every race to represent their standard of beauty.

Great post!

Original Post by coffincritter:

Great post!

 Thanks! From the itty bitty to the bootylicious...from snow white to pitch black...everyone should be represented!

Original Post by change_in_sc:

Original Post by coffincritter:

Great post!

 Thanks! From the itty bitty to the bootylicious...from snow white to pitch black...everyone should be represented!

I agree. Fantastic Post!

Original Post by enchantingimage:

Original Post by change_in_sc:

Original Post by coffincritter:

Great post!

 Thanks! From the itty bitty to the bootylicious...from snow white to pitch black...everyone should be represented!

I agree. Fantastic Post!

 Thanks lady! Healthy is beautiful and we need to keep putting it out there until society "gets it"!

Well in many ways I'm sick of these weak looking celebrities. I know we can't help but compare ourselves to what we see ALL the time, but there comes a point when you realize that you don't want to be a sheep following some popular sheep. I've certainly had enough, to each their own.

On a side note, if someone would please just dress our first lady a bit better, I think more people would compliment her. But again to each their own. It doesn't take away any of her other accomplishments tho.

Original Post by octo-luv:

Well in many ways I'm sick of these weak looking celebrities. I know we can't help but compare ourselves to what we see ALL the time, but there comes a point when you realize that you don't want to be a sheep following some popular sheep. I've certainly had enough, to each their own.

On a side note, if someone would please just dress our first lady a bit better, I think more people would compliment her. But again to each their own. It doesn't take away any of her other accomplishments tho.

 I have heard people talk about our First Lady's fashion (mostly online) but the ironic thing is that those that matter in the fashion world LOVE her sense of style. I tune in to things related to fashion week and have seen these same people be harsh with others so it goes to show that one person's toss off is another's treasure.

I have liked most of Michelle's fashion choices. I didn't like the inauguration dress though or that red & black combination dress she wore on election night.

Original Post by kathygator:

Women of color carry weight beautifully, at all body types.

Good for you, honey, wanting to get strong instead of 'thin'. :)

 that's a stereotype..not all women of color carry their weight beautifully....and I'm saying this as a woman of color

Well the bottom line is that our First Lady is by no means fat! I mean look at her arms and stomach and this is after 2 children! Serena is like solid muscle but yet she still has curves. Where is the fat on her? Most of the ladies in the pics on my page would probably be considered "overweight" according to the BMI calculator (which is total BS).