Reality Check!

Can someone please give me a reality check?

For dinner tonight I decided to eat with my parents and we ordered out.  I had a veggie burger with a side of mashed potatoes, a little cup of coleslaw and 1/2 a multigrain bun.  (Oh and a beer ).  All through dinner I was thinking this was too much, but now I'm thinking maybe it was ok and kind of normal and is probably healthy for me.  Am I correct in thinking this or was it really too much?  I never know when eating out/ordering in. 

Been there done that! and its a total party pooper and to be honest with you what you ate was just fine or in other words too little for someone whos recovering but then again i dont know what your diet is but cheers for eating out and not letting the ED stop you from it! when you go out you should enjoy what your having not thinking about it in a negative way the only way we can get over this is truly push overselves over our comfort limit sometimes cos it can be tricky but in the end i think its all worth it! good luck hun:) and once again just enjoy life were still young!!

definitely not too much! probably NOT ENOUGH!!!!

Been there done that aswell!  Infact, yesterday lunchtime (Sunday) we went out for a family meal to a local restaurant - father in law's treat.

I ate a small bowl of sweet potato soup (gave my eldest son the bread) and then had a Gazpacho salad, which I couldn't finish.  A diet Coke completed my meal.  There was no carbohydrate or protein with the salad, so I am aware it wasn't particularly balanced, but it was the only item on the menu that I felt as if I could manage.

I know deep down that what I had was nowhere near enough, but to be honest I absolutely hate eating in front of other people - it makes me so nervous and is something that I avoid whenever I can.  I simply don't feel comfortable doing it.  I always order something "safe" and eat a bit of it.

Jayjay11, you make a good point about trying to think positively rather than negatively.  I find it so difficult to have anything positive to say or think about food, but I keep trying!

But I must congratulate you, jasamsvinja, on eating what you did and (hopefully!) enjoying it and the company you were in.  Well done!

Thank you everyone with your replies!! Hearing that it perhaps wasn't enough is even refreshing to hear.  Its funny when you're trying to gain weight/maintain weight and yet you're still in the mindset of the ED... or you know learning proper portions.  Anyway thanks!!! :)

I was with my therapist yesterday morning for a follow-up session, and I haven't really gotten anywhere since my last session back in May. 

I am still in denial, I think, about needing to gain.  I realise that it has to come from me and that I have to want to do it.  No amount of nagging and screaming and shouting from anybody else will do any good if I don't want to do it.

I have what seems an impossible goal of making that initial jump to eating something that I would consider sinful.  I have got to stop thinking "I can't eat that", perhaps make myself think "I won't eat that", and then hopefully progress to thoughts such as "I can and will eat that, and it won't kill me".

For me, that first hurdle is the size of a mountain at the moment and although I sat there and agreed with my therapist and told him I would give it a go (along with three other goals he has set me), I am still thinking that I'm not really sure that I want to gain, whether I want to be "normal" - and afterall, what is "normal" anyway?  I feel as if I've been like this for so many years now, this is normal to me.

These thoughts and feelings are all so confusing and conflicting, sometimes I feel as if my head is going to burst!  Then I get a reality check, tell myself to get a grip and act my age, and remind myself that I have a family and future to think about and do I really want to be ruled by my ED and hostile attitude towards food for the rest of my life?

Sorry about the rant, but it does help to talk about these things!

Normal service will now be resumed..........

Original Post by jasamsvinja:

Can someone please give me a reality check?

For dinner tonight I decided to eat with my parents and we ordered out.  I had a veggie burger with a side of mashed potatoes, a little cup of coleslaw and 1/2 a multigrain bun.  (Oh and a beer ).  All through dinner I was thinking this was too much, but now I'm thinking maybe it was ok and kind of normal and is probably healthy for me.  Am I correct in thinking this or was it really too much?  I never know when eating out/ordering in. 

totally normal.  not everyday, but normal.  yep, you are living like a regular, run-of-the-mill person. 

actually, as an order-in dinner, that's a pretty good one.

you know--you're no dummy--there is no right-and-wrong in this.  as much as you might want that.  having a meal out/in with your family is way more important than the precise content of your meal. 

i hope you laughed