I realize this probably sounds pathetic, but . . .

How much do looks factor in? I'm not pretty enough to catch the attention of most guys, but I know I am smart, and I have a good sense of humor. So what I'm asking is, honestly and truly, if someone is what you are looking for, but maybe isn't too blessed in the looks, can you still find yourself attracted to them?

I know I can.  I dated a great guy for 2 years, and I had never before thought his looks were very impressive, so to speak.  I mean, he's not like some mutant or anything at all, but his looks are far from what caught my eye.  He's genuine, thoughtful, sensitive, caring, fun, loyal, and has a great sense of humor (not to mention music!). 

It's really not about the looks if it's gonna be a meaningful relationship.  And everyone's personal taste is different.  I see people I think are attractive that my friends find repulsive practically.  Or at least not interested whatsoever.  Same goes for guys.  Heck, some think I look good.  And that's hard for me to beleive or accept.  I'm nowhere near being a "hot" girl or someone to "check out".  But then, I don't really want that.  I want my own personal, natural beauty to shine. The beauty we all have.  So don't think like a shallow-minded person, and don't assume that everyone else is one, either! 

I've also found when I'm not looking for "love" or anything, and don't care really... somehow, it just finds me.  And it's always been a truer love when it just happens.  :)

Don't be so hard on yourself.  You ARE beautiful. 

Best wishes!  xoxo

Hmm...one of my best boyfriends wasn't all that great looking.  I dated him for three reasons:

1) He was incredibly smart and have natural leadership capabilities.

2) Great personality, very funny and light-hearted and no matter what, people were just drawn to him.  Everyone wanted to be his friend.

3) penis size.  ha ha ha ha!  (crude, but true)

Looks isn't the only thing that attracts people to one another. 

Looks are pretty important ... its not the entire battle, but fitting a physical "type" for the person is a first step for a lot of people.

Oh, yea, but it is possible to like someone that doesnt fit your type. There are other factors that play major parts also... looks is just one of many.

Oh, smell is a pretty powerful one that came to mind... lol

That's probably more important (at least to me) than looks.  If somebody smells really bad... sorry, I just would have to say "no" and feel bad. 

Loriklorik, your post made me think of that IDK why though.  :)

My boyfriend isn't my ideal type. I would never have pictured myself with a small, hispanic man whose about an inch shorter than me and not really good looking.  But, the second I saw his smile I knew I liked him and that we'd end up together.  If he didn't have that smile and personality he would have been out the door (if he ever got in).

i really liked a guy once that wasn't very attractive.  he was however, very very smart and creative, and i could appreciate that about him. 

my husband though, man...he's gorgeous.  and because of that, if we were to ever go our separate ways, i don't know that i'd ever find someone that i could settle for. 

A beautiful personality makes one find aspects of a person cute that they might not have otherwise noticed.

A Beautiful person's appearance can seem vile when the personality is vile.

A beautiful person with a beautiful personality has the world at hand.

An ugly person with an ugly persona hasnt got a chance.

Way back in the day, a friend (female) of mine explained the laws of attraction to me thusly:

"Women become attracted to the men they're in love with, and men fall in love with the women they're attracted to."

I have thought about that again and again throughout the years, and, from my own personal experience, I believe there to be a lot of truth in that statement. Of course, I can't speak for all the men out there (and I certainly don't mean to generalize or offend). I don't mean to go off on a tangent with this thread, but several of the posts made me think of the above statement again...

YES! You can be attracted to a guy, even if he isn't all that good lookin'. Since most of my friends tend to be guys, I get teased a lot about dating. Such as, "Haha, you want me to hook you up with ____?" The guy they are referring to are usually the not so nice looking guys. I have this friend, he's pretty short and has buck teeth. He dresses like a punk and always has either his skateboard or his snowboard with him. (I'm pretty sure they're glued to his hands). Despite that, he's an awesome guy! I mean totally awesome, I would date him in a heartbeat. He makes me laugh so much! But, alas, I am ruled by society and society says that a person like me shouldn't be with a guy like him. Sigh...but I will see him next semester in school. We'll see what happens. :) Looks aren't everything, himself as a person is what I've fallen in love with! 

I'll give this one a tentative yes. Looks do matter. They matter less in relationships that start out as friendships - one of the guys I dated in college wasn't physically attractive (not really ugly, but not good-looking either); however, we were friends first, where looks hardly matter at all, and I grew to like him as more than that. However, for relationships that don't start out as non-romantic relationships, it's more difficult to get started without some physical attraction.

I think this is a very personal question with an answer that varies from person to person. For some, looks matter most. For others, looks matter but brains or personality matter most. For some, looks don't matter at all.

For me personally, I couldn't date someone I didn't find physically attractive. If that person's looks sorta kinda repelled me.. well.. I tried dating a girl, tried taking the high road and.. it didn't work for me. We tried engaging in physical activities and my not finding her attractive... killed that.

So... in the end, it's really a personal question. :)

hmmmmmmmm this is a hard question to grapple with.

looks or brains?

fat or small?

tall or short?

imagination or no imagination?

I just want it all looks,brains,tall,handsome with plenty of stamina in the bedroom lol

What one person finds attractive isn't attractive to another. I dated a guy that I found sexy as hell and my friend thought he was ugly.  Which is why when you see some really good looking person with someone that your like what did he/she see in them worked out. Good thing too so all of us can find someone. I always like the rough / tough guy types that are really teddy bears.

Personality always makes one more (or less) attractive than their appearance alone.  From what I can tell, it's important that you look for someone who is in the same range as you on the attractive scale (don't know how to word that).  for instance, I have two girlfriends -- one who is not very high on the attractive scale (but very wealthy), she always dates guys who are much better looking (and much younger - usually guys who don't have money . . . . can you say gigalo?).  She never has a satisfactory relationship.  She doesn't date within her social status or age range. 

Second girl from a long time ago -- seemed to go after guys who were much more handsome than she was pretty (in my opinion).  Again, lots of rejection.

It seems to me that most successful couples match each other pretty much in appearance on the attractive scale (Angelina/Brad -- Danny Devito/Rhea Perlman). 

I know that is generalizing, and not always the case -- but, usually if one is very physically attractive and one is not so much -- it's the girl who is more attractive.  I agree with spjesq's answer alot.