So I just realized I get paid to have sex

I start work at 6am every day by waking my boss up (as he's apparently incapable of doing this on his own). Now, we're both attracted to each other but can't actually date because of the inevitable opposition all the other folks at work would have to this (did I mention he's the CEO?). So about once a week we end up having sex after I wake him up, and it just occurred to me that since I'm on the clock starting when I get to his place I'm technically being paid to sleep with him.

So... while this pretty clearly makes the both of us just a touch unethical, I don't feel like I'm a prostitute because I'm enjoying it just as much as him and there's certainly no requirement (spoken or implied) that I do this.

Any thoughts? Should I just take my act to the streetcorner? I figured an anonymous internet forum was the way to go due to the nature of this topic.

rdgatewood, we are people that she asked to judge. She asked quite plainly what we think.

You're right, she did ask. You misunderstand, I have no problem hearing the opinions...I'm just suprised by them.

Original Post by rdgatewood:

you will find out how much he respects you when you ask something of him, or when you start to infringe on his personal freedom, or when he gets tired of you.

you're assuming that he is taking advantage of her...but what if he isn't? What is your basis that he is taking advantage of her? age? the fact that he's her boss?

What if it really is a consenting relationship between two people?

Now, don't get me wrong...I would never sleep with my boss, but it's because I wouldn't want to jepordize my career. But she's already said that's not a concern to her.

Take out that professional factor and you can discount the fact he's her boss...so now, it's just two people enjoying each other...unless it's the age difference?

 He might not be taking advantage of her, but, he does not respect her.

rdgatewood, you're missing the point.  consenting or not, it's not really about sex.  it's about power.

it's not really about sex.  it's about power.

Why is sex only about power? It's a natural biological function of two people...

It CAN be about power, but it can also be about pleasure.

I would ask for a huge raise.

( I meant "money" to clarify)

And I would be careful about becoming emotionally attached. I have an ex who runs his own company..and hires secretaries that he intends, and usually does become involved with...and he truly isn't relationship material. The women end up getting hurt. Or he uses them to do more than he hired them for because they are trying to please him on a personal level.

I'd say you are a one stop shop. A convenience. If that's okay with you..cool. Just as long as you are aware of it.

so if you don't engage in casual s3x or if you think it's unwise to have s3x with your boss, you're a prude?

I apologize nomo, I'm not meaning to call anyone a prude...I'm just suprised at what I think of as dated viewpoints regarding casual sex.

And again...I DON'T think it's a good idea to sleep with your boss, but my reasons have to do with in being a bad career move. I just disagree on the "lack of self-respect", and "he doesn't respect her", and the whole "power" thing.

Edited to clarify... 

Original Post by rdgatewood:

it's not really about sex.  it's about power.

Why is sex only about power? It's a natural biological function of two people...

It CAN be about power, but it can also be about pleasure.

 It can be about the ceiling tiles as well. What matters most I think is that she is damaging her self esteem, worth, value in the process.

What matters most I think is that she is damaging her self esteem, worth, value in the process.

We'll just have to agree to disagree :)

Self-Esteem, worth, and value can only be determined by the individual...not anyone else.

Well..I'm enjoying this debate, but it's quiting time for me...time to go home :)

Original Post by rdgatewood:

Why is sex only about power? It's a natural biological function of two people...

 huh?  that's not what i said.  i said it's not about sex.

yes, that's because he's her boss, and yes, it's because he's older. 

if he wanted a cleaning service, he would hire a maid.  if he wanted breakfast, he would have it delivered.  he doesn't.  he wants the ego boost of having a young, dependent woman wait on him.

that's icky enough on its own.  add the sex and it's exploitive.

This is completely disgusting behavior by both parties as far as I'm concerned. I hope you got what you asked for.

he wants the ego boost of having a young, dependent woman wait on him.

I agree with you, if the above is true.

However, I just don't think we can say that is his intent....we don't know and that's a lot of assuming.

One last thing:

"I'm just suprised at what I think of as dated viewpoints regarding casual sex"

I think it's really about people's "dated viewpoints" regarding themselves and their self worth.

This is completely disgusting behavior by both parties as far as I'm concerned. I hope you got what you asked for.

Wow....that's a sad statement.

Well, I'm really off now :)

Original Post by rdgatewood:

This is completely disgusting behavior by both parties as far as I'm concerned. I hope you got what you asked for.

Wow....that's a sad statement.

Well, I'm really off now :)

 Don't cry now.

rdgatewood, you have a distinct talent for seeing the smaller picture.

well, i don't agree with casual s3x so i guess that puts me in the outdated views category

but that's not the main reason i wouldn't do what she's doing -- it's extremely unwise to boink your boss -- both parties are vulnerable to lawsuit (and the steep fines/awards if you lose) if she's in the U.S.

i've just been trying to imagine myself hiring a 23 year old man to come over every morning, wake me up, take out the garbage, mow the lawn, and do a few other gender-stereotyped tasks, and once in a while have sex.  could i convince him that he was having fun?  you bet.  would i be using my greater age, experience, earning potential, etc. to exploit him?  yep.

you only live once, pg, go for it!

wait a minute....

that's not right! (a la kevin meaney)

You commented a ways back that having sex with you was not his intention when he hired you.  Are you sure?  Just because it wasn't stated doesn't mean it wasn't part of the plan.  How long did you "work" for him before you started having sex? Are you sure there wasn't someone before you who did these duties, and you are simply the "upgrade" or a newer/younger model?

If you depend on your job, your income, and the future professional references, this is a very bad situation for you, IMO.  If he is not married, the one to be most hurt in the end is you.  No, you cannot do more harm to him than he can to you.  If you're both consenting adults, neither is married, and you are engaging in consensual sex of a nature of which you both approve that isn't physically harmful to either in case one decides to change their mind later about whether or not they approve of it, then it isn't illegal, and unless your boss' company is one of a morally invested nature or substance, the only thing he'll get when the story breaks in-office is high-fives all around. 

You are a housekeeper, a cook, a secretary, and a sex buddy.  You are doing 4 jobs for the price of one.  You are quite a bargain for this man and, no doubt, saving him and his company thousands of dollars per year.

You are young, to the point that, as stated before me, you are likely very naive about what is likely going on here.  You may be very mature for 23 years old in every way, but you can still be naive and still be taken advantage of by a much older, much more experienced man who, no doubt, knows exactly when and how to exploit your naivete to his full advantage.

You mentioned that you would not get a boyfriend because of "fidelity" issues.  Temporary casual sex with someone who can hire your replacement or increase the work pool at any time means more to you than your future happiness?  Is it really worth the sacrifice?  Please make sure that you aren't placing more meaning/value upon this "relationship" with your boss than he is.  I worry for you, really.  This has the potential to end very badly and be very damaging for you, in many ways.  Please consider all the many possible outcomes very seriously, as I believe they are more than you apparently realize or care to admit.  Don't let the novelty, fun, and excitement cause you lose touch with reality.  Please be careful.  That's all.