Health & Support
Moderators: positivelinny, devilish_patsy, lalabanana, peaches0405, ksylvan, nycgirl, iae, smwhipple Rebuilding My Metabolism
All right...after weeks and weeks and weeks of attempting to read up on the evils of starvation mode and getting your body back to normal, I've decided to post an official thread which will describe my battle to get my body back to normal after dealing with overexercising, starvation mode, and living on only 1200 calories a day.
I've been getting so frustrated lately...since about 4 weeks ago, I've really been trying to commit myself to eating normally again, attempting to get in about 1800-2000 calories a day. You see, I've been dieting for about 4 years now. I began this journey when I weighed 145 lbs at a height of 5' 5". I started to actively choose healthier foods and incorporated exercise into my life. By the end of my first year, I was down to 128...but I truly wasn't eating in the right way. Some days I'd eat fruit only for all of my meals, and the other days, I'd try to eat salads...on top of exercising (tae bo, running, elliptical, etc). I'd let myself eat whatever on weekends, often going overboard because I felt like I wouldn't be able to eat wonderful foods like pizza and brownies during the week.
When I returned to school in the fall, I knew I had to eat throughout the day to keep myself healthy. So, I began eating cereal in the morning, fruits during the day for snacks, healthy wraps, and high caloried salads with salami, ham, cheese, chick peas and full-caloried dressings. I would run, 3 days a week, for 6 miles at a time, but instead of full out running, I would run for about a mile and power walk the rest. I also kept up my tae bo, and slowly began to add in yoga. Again, on the weekends, I would let myself have "fun," but I wouldn't go overboard. I basically just tried to cut out my sweets and junk food during the week. By the time November rolled around, I was at my ideal goal weight of 120.
However, that's when it all changed. I went through an extremely tough breakup, and it really hit me hard. I thought I wasn't good enough, so I tried to up my workout and up my diet...meaning I severely limited myself to only eating those high-caloried salads I talked about for dinner. Sometimes I'd eat carrots in the morning. Sometimes I'd drink tea or pop to keep me satiated. But I always was true to eating dinner. However, paired with exercise (now cardio AND yoga every day), I dropped to my lowest of 110. I also was mildy bulemic, which didn't help matters.
As I approached my 21st birthday, I knew I couldn't live like this any longer, so I began to add foods back in. However, at this point, I also started counting calories, which I had never done before. For about a year, I kept my weight around 115, and then finally up to 120, which is a weight I loved being at.
I even finally decided that with as hard as I was working out, I was going to let myself eat what I wanted to when I was hungry. However, every time I tried this, I always felt so bloated and usually reverted to trying to eat as little as I could calorically, so I could save up for when I wanted a cheat meal or snack. Finally, by this summer, I truly decided that I no longer wanted to diet. I wanted to be normal! I'd watch my mom eat whatever she liked, whenever she liked, and as much as she liked. And yet, she remained thin. Granted, she usually had small portions. But still...I had grown tired of watching friends eat and enjoy life...I wanted to be like them, too!
I was still willing, though, to keep up my workout routine, in order to eat whatever I'd like. Now, when I say "whatever" I'd like, I mean that in moderation. I'm a typically healthy person anyways, so it's not like I went crazy and began eating solely junk food and sweets. But basically, I allowed myself things I hadn't eaten in a long time...bagels...full caloried dressings...desserts...things with an unknown calorie value, etc.
So, this summer began my battle with getting out of starvation mode. For two years prior, I guessed I was only getting about 1000-1200 calories per day, with exercise, so I definitely wasn't getting enough (stopping my period was enough to tell me something was wrong). I started off great, adding calories back in, but I soon hit a road block: my stomach wasn't adjusting to the new levels of food I was giving it. I experienced extreme bloating, not to mention constipation (I used to take fiber pills, but really tried to get away from those to regulate my system correctly). I also found it hard to actually add in calories, because I wasn't hungry after a big lunch.
So...the fact that my jeans were tighter made my desire to workout go way down. I tried different things, like power walking, incorporating weights, cuttain back on cardio intensity, etc, but nothing worked. I just kept gaining weight.
However, I certainly was less worred about "planning" for a meal, and finally could go out with my friends and have a few drinks. I still felt guilty, though, but that's just the committee in your head telling you you stink ;)
So, before I left for school in the fall, I was hovering around 130, give or take a few pounds. I had read up on getting out of starvation mode, and realized that my weight gain may be in part to water retention and the fact that your body is rebuilding itself after all those years of such a low-calorie diet. I noticed that my weight came back on only in my midsection, meaning my stomach, abdomen, hips and thighs. My upper body and lower legs stayed pretty much the same.
Since being here at school (in a very large city, so I walk more now), I've been actively trying to eat about 1800-2200 calories a day. I know I need to get my metabolism back into shape, so I am very committed to eating more. The mere fact that I can now eat 3 larger meals a day is great...before, my stomach was just too small.
In my experience thus far, I've been going back and forth between 132 and 127. On days when the scale says 127, I feel elated...maybe my metabolism is finally working again! But then, on the days when it reads 132, I feel like maybe I'm approaching this the wrong way. So, today I made a decision.
I'm really going to try to stick to this and post my experiences on here. I know there are a lot of people out there going through this exact same thing (getting your body back on track after an ED), so I hope my struggle through this time can help others or give a different insight.
My latest frustration lately has been that even though I'm exercising, it doesn't feel like it's doing anything. In fact, I really feel sometimes like my exercise only encourages bulk in my thighs. This past Monday, I was down to 127, and felt great...I only did yoga in the morning, and about midday, I really didn't even feel compelled to go to the gym. But I did, and the rest of the week saw the scale go up to 132. So, I'm wondering: if I do solely yoga for a week, while still eating more normally, what will it do to the scale?
I had a doughnut this morning. I love doughnuts. I can't deny that. I've missed doughnuts. But now that I'm going to try not going to the gym or doing tae bo for a week, do I cut back on calories, or continue to actively try to get in more?
My goal? I want to be able to enjoy life again. More importantly, I want to be with family on holidays and eat foods without feeling like my stomach is going to explode. I'm willing to stick to a committed workout regime, but not if it's not going to do any good.
I sometimes get upset, and think that maybe I should go back to how I used to eat...cereal for breakfast and lunch, low caloried snacks, and no sweets or junk food. But I've found, I really enjoy food. I do. And I hate the obsession with calories or if I've been "good" or "bad" for a day.
I know that getting out of starvation mode does take time, and you will see an initial weight gain, so if that's what it takes to get my body back on track, I'm willing and ready to do that. This thread is about not feeling bad for yourself and just logging my experiences. I hope through this, I can find some insight for myself and give others hope to get their bodies back on track! More to come later!
P.S. So, for one week, I'm solely doing yoga. Everyday. But NO gym or tae bo. Let's see what happens!
I've been getting so frustrated lately...since about 4 weeks ago, I've really been trying to commit myself to eating normally again, attempting to get in about 1800-2000 calories a day. You see, I've been dieting for about 4 years now. I began this journey when I weighed 145 lbs at a height of 5' 5". I started to actively choose healthier foods and incorporated exercise into my life. By the end of my first year, I was down to 128...but I truly wasn't eating in the right way. Some days I'd eat fruit only for all of my meals, and the other days, I'd try to eat salads...on top of exercising (tae bo, running, elliptical, etc). I'd let myself eat whatever on weekends, often going overboard because I felt like I wouldn't be able to eat wonderful foods like pizza and brownies during the week.
When I returned to school in the fall, I knew I had to eat throughout the day to keep myself healthy. So, I began eating cereal in the morning, fruits during the day for snacks, healthy wraps, and high caloried salads with salami, ham, cheese, chick peas and full-caloried dressings. I would run, 3 days a week, for 6 miles at a time, but instead of full out running, I would run for about a mile and power walk the rest. I also kept up my tae bo, and slowly began to add in yoga. Again, on the weekends, I would let myself have "fun," but I wouldn't go overboard. I basically just tried to cut out my sweets and junk food during the week. By the time November rolled around, I was at my ideal goal weight of 120.
However, that's when it all changed. I went through an extremely tough breakup, and it really hit me hard. I thought I wasn't good enough, so I tried to up my workout and up my diet...meaning I severely limited myself to only eating those high-caloried salads I talked about for dinner. Sometimes I'd eat carrots in the morning. Sometimes I'd drink tea or pop to keep me satiated. But I always was true to eating dinner. However, paired with exercise (now cardio AND yoga every day), I dropped to my lowest of 110. I also was mildy bulemic, which didn't help matters.
As I approached my 21st birthday, I knew I couldn't live like this any longer, so I began to add foods back in. However, at this point, I also started counting calories, which I had never done before. For about a year, I kept my weight around 115, and then finally up to 120, which is a weight I loved being at.
I even finally decided that with as hard as I was working out, I was going to let myself eat what I wanted to when I was hungry. However, every time I tried this, I always felt so bloated and usually reverted to trying to eat as little as I could calorically, so I could save up for when I wanted a cheat meal or snack. Finally, by this summer, I truly decided that I no longer wanted to diet. I wanted to be normal! I'd watch my mom eat whatever she liked, whenever she liked, and as much as she liked. And yet, she remained thin. Granted, she usually had small portions. But still...I had grown tired of watching friends eat and enjoy life...I wanted to be like them, too!
I was still willing, though, to keep up my workout routine, in order to eat whatever I'd like. Now, when I say "whatever" I'd like, I mean that in moderation. I'm a typically healthy person anyways, so it's not like I went crazy and began eating solely junk food and sweets. But basically, I allowed myself things I hadn't eaten in a long time...bagels...full caloried dressings...desserts...things with an unknown calorie value, etc.
So, this summer began my battle with getting out of starvation mode. For two years prior, I guessed I was only getting about 1000-1200 calories per day, with exercise, so I definitely wasn't getting enough (stopping my period was enough to tell me something was wrong). I started off great, adding calories back in, but I soon hit a road block: my stomach wasn't adjusting to the new levels of food I was giving it. I experienced extreme bloating, not to mention constipation (I used to take fiber pills, but really tried to get away from those to regulate my system correctly). I also found it hard to actually add in calories, because I wasn't hungry after a big lunch.
So...the fact that my jeans were tighter made my desire to workout go way down. I tried different things, like power walking, incorporating weights, cuttain back on cardio intensity, etc, but nothing worked. I just kept gaining weight.
However, I certainly was less worred about "planning" for a meal, and finally could go out with my friends and have a few drinks. I still felt guilty, though, but that's just the committee in your head telling you you stink ;)
So, before I left for school in the fall, I was hovering around 130, give or take a few pounds. I had read up on getting out of starvation mode, and realized that my weight gain may be in part to water retention and the fact that your body is rebuilding itself after all those years of such a low-calorie diet. I noticed that my weight came back on only in my midsection, meaning my stomach, abdomen, hips and thighs. My upper body and lower legs stayed pretty much the same.
Since being here at school (in a very large city, so I walk more now), I've been actively trying to eat about 1800-2200 calories a day. I know I need to get my metabolism back into shape, so I am very committed to eating more. The mere fact that I can now eat 3 larger meals a day is great...before, my stomach was just too small.
In my experience thus far, I've been going back and forth between 132 and 127. On days when the scale says 127, I feel elated...maybe my metabolism is finally working again! But then, on the days when it reads 132, I feel like maybe I'm approaching this the wrong way. So, today I made a decision.
I'm really going to try to stick to this and post my experiences on here. I know there are a lot of people out there going through this exact same thing (getting your body back on track after an ED), so I hope my struggle through this time can help others or give a different insight.
My latest frustration lately has been that even though I'm exercising, it doesn't feel like it's doing anything. In fact, I really feel sometimes like my exercise only encourages bulk in my thighs. This past Monday, I was down to 127, and felt great...I only did yoga in the morning, and about midday, I really didn't even feel compelled to go to the gym. But I did, and the rest of the week saw the scale go up to 132. So, I'm wondering: if I do solely yoga for a week, while still eating more normally, what will it do to the scale?
I had a doughnut this morning. I love doughnuts. I can't deny that. I've missed doughnuts. But now that I'm going to try not going to the gym or doing tae bo for a week, do I cut back on calories, or continue to actively try to get in more?
My goal? I want to be able to enjoy life again. More importantly, I want to be with family on holidays and eat foods without feeling like my stomach is going to explode. I'm willing to stick to a committed workout regime, but not if it's not going to do any good.
I sometimes get upset, and think that maybe I should go back to how I used to eat...cereal for breakfast and lunch, low caloried snacks, and no sweets or junk food. But I've found, I really enjoy food. I do. And I hate the obsession with calories or if I've been "good" or "bad" for a day.
I know that getting out of starvation mode does take time, and you will see an initial weight gain, so if that's what it takes to get my body back on track, I'm willing and ready to do that. This thread is about not feeling bad for yourself and just logging my experiences. I hope through this, I can find some insight for myself and give others hope to get their bodies back on track! More to come later!
P.S. So, for one week, I'm solely doing yoga. Everyday. But NO gym or tae bo. Let's see what happens!
hey! it's my first day of eating 2000 cals+, i'm both proud and a bit disgusted, haha. as far as protein goes.... -egg whites (yolks too, but not if you're worried about cholesterol/cals) -dairy (non-fat so you keep saturated fat down) -fish! lean meat!-cheese that's all i can think of off the top of my head, but good luck!
Well, (I start all my posts with well, don't I?) the cleanse is working. I stepped on the scale, which tipped at 130 today, which makes me happy, but also tentative because I'm not sure how much of that weight loss is due to just the cleanse. I'm sure once it's finished, the scale will go up again, but hopefully the cleanse will have really cleaned my body of the toxins and I'll have more energy. In other news, I'm still toying around with the idea of a diet. I could really be uber-good, and swear off all junk foods, candy, desserts, alcohol, fried foods...but that will only lead to deprivation. After eating like a "normal" person this summer, I would miss the tastes of these foods. I'm not saying I'm a glutton for junk food...I just have really missed out on eating like a normal person would over my entire college experience. When I look back to how I used to eat in high school, I'd definitely say that there is a marked difference in how I eat now...even with the occasional cheat or order of french fries. I used to eat 2-3 doughtnuts for breakfast...sometimes at school I'd have a chicken patty, fries, and a huge cookie, with chocolate milk...I never calorie counted, and it was pretty ridiculous what I would eat. Now for breakfast it's a bowl of cereal, maybe a mid-morning snack of fruit...I've made leaps and bounds since peaking at 145 lbs. and I know that they way I eat now will not allow me to get back up that high...which is why I find myself getting so frustrated when introducing more food into my diet...I'm bloating and gaining weight for no good scientific reason.
But, I'm not about to give up when I've come this far. Rather, I'm now just trying intuitive eating...eating when I'm hungry...eating until I'm full...and nothing is off limits (unless, of course, I've really overdone it one day). I also am okay with not eating a lot for one day. If my appetite really doesn't want to eat a lot, I'm not going to force food down. That's how my mother eats, and she's been able to maintain a weight of 123 for years, with hardly any exercise except for a job that keeps her on her feet 5 days a week. And she eats whatever she wants, when she wants it...but she never overdoes it...she just eats until she's satisfied. And she never feels like she has to finish a piece of dessert, or finish that last bite of cheeseburger. That's the kind of will power I want, but I think that can only be truly achieved when you don't feel deprived of your favorite foods.
I'm still looking for a website that has a list of foods high in protein. I know the obvious ones: meat, cheese, tuna, eggs, certain beans....but does anyone know anything else? I've heard that you need to eat 1g of protein per pound of bodyweight...wow...I can't imagine that I even come close to 100 most days. Probably not even 75. I'm not into protein shakes, but I've recently been eating Power Bars, which are pretty good. Any other suggestions?
But, I'm not about to give up when I've come this far. Rather, I'm now just trying intuitive eating...eating when I'm hungry...eating until I'm full...and nothing is off limits (unless, of course, I've really overdone it one day). I also am okay with not eating a lot for one day. If my appetite really doesn't want to eat a lot, I'm not going to force food down. That's how my mother eats, and she's been able to maintain a weight of 123 for years, with hardly any exercise except for a job that keeps her on her feet 5 days a week. And she eats whatever she wants, when she wants it...but she never overdoes it...she just eats until she's satisfied. And she never feels like she has to finish a piece of dessert, or finish that last bite of cheeseburger. That's the kind of will power I want, but I think that can only be truly achieved when you don't feel deprived of your favorite foods.
I'm still looking for a website that has a list of foods high in protein. I know the obvious ones: meat, cheese, tuna, eggs, certain beans....but does anyone know anything else? I've heard that you need to eat 1g of protein per pound of bodyweight...wow...I can't imagine that I even come close to 100 most days. Probably not even 75. I'm not into protein shakes, but I've recently been eating Power Bars, which are pretty good. Any other suggestions?
Okay...my cleanse is complete. How do I feel? Re-energized? Cleaned out? Free of toxins? Well...I'm not sure. Let's analyze:
Now, onto my weight training regime. I've decided, this time around, to go to the gym 3 days a week, with 20 minutes of cardio (or more when I feel more up to it) and a good workout with weights, meaning the whole gambit of machines in our nautilus. I'm definitely more likely to get off my butt and go to the gym when I know I don't have to spend 45 minutes solely on the elliptical. Weight training doesn't feel as strenuous to me, but I feel just as good doing it as I would cardio because I know I'm building up muscle and toning. I'm a weakling when it comes to arms...but I've always been that way. I don't want to bulk up down below, especially when I'm trying to lose weight down there.
Which leads me to my question of the day...I used to be seriously dedicated to doing the elliptical 3 days a week, 50 minutes for two of those days, and 25 for the third. Over the summer, I began getting frustrated with it, and started to run, power walk, jog, circuit cardio, etc. just to liven up my routine. Well, as you all know, I gained weight, and now my pants don't fit...I know part of that weight gain is due to my body readjusting to all of the food I'm now giving it...but could my girth I've gained in my legs be attributed to the fact that I stopped doing the elliptical as religiously as I did when I first lost all the weight? Can switching a part of your cardio routine really effect how big your legs become? All along I thought it was calories, but maybe it's because I gave up the elliptical? Thoughts?!?
- I certainly have been...eliminating...things from my system. More often than I was before I started the cleanse. So, that's a plus. Before, I sometimes went to the bathroom in the morning (how else can you say it?!?)...then I wouldn't go for a few days. So, in that aspect, props to the cleanse.
- They called it a "Rapid" cleanse, but for only one of the days out of the 7, did I really feel things "rapidly" moving!
- I have noticed that I haven't been crashing at 1:00 PM on weekdays, which is when I usually run to Starbucks for an iced coffee. However, I have also been trying to eat more protein, so that might be the cause of my newfound energy as well.
- I definitely felt less bloated than I have been. I was able to handle food better.
Now, onto my weight training regime. I've decided, this time around, to go to the gym 3 days a week, with 20 minutes of cardio (or more when I feel more up to it) and a good workout with weights, meaning the whole gambit of machines in our nautilus. I'm definitely more likely to get off my butt and go to the gym when I know I don't have to spend 45 minutes solely on the elliptical. Weight training doesn't feel as strenuous to me, but I feel just as good doing it as I would cardio because I know I'm building up muscle and toning. I'm a weakling when it comes to arms...but I've always been that way. I don't want to bulk up down below, especially when I'm trying to lose weight down there.
Which leads me to my question of the day...I used to be seriously dedicated to doing the elliptical 3 days a week, 50 minutes for two of those days, and 25 for the third. Over the summer, I began getting frustrated with it, and started to run, power walk, jog, circuit cardio, etc. just to liven up my routine. Well, as you all know, I gained weight, and now my pants don't fit...I know part of that weight gain is due to my body readjusting to all of the food I'm now giving it...but could my girth I've gained in my legs be attributed to the fact that I stopped doing the elliptical as religiously as I did when I first lost all the weight? Can switching a part of your cardio routine really effect how big your legs become? All along I thought it was calories, but maybe it's because I gave up the elliptical? Thoughts?!?
katopong,
i don't have anything to add right now, but i just wanted to say that this thread is terrific. you are obviously an intelligent and articulate girl and this thread is one i will definitely keep tab on.
please be sure to update because i'm sure many, many others are reading like me though not commenting.
:)
I have a major news item to post...I think I may have finally got something back on my system, because there has been...evidence...of my menstrual cycle returning (really...how can you make that sound eloquent?!)
Regardless! This is big. I don't remember having a period on my own in forever...I used to be on prescribed birth control pills, only to regulate my system, but I'm currently not taking any meds or supplements of any kind. This is my system, finally responding.
I have to wonder...was it the added protein I've been adding in? This week I've tried to go extra heavy on the carbs, in my own way. I'm not saying I ate steak upon steak...I just tried to actively choose things that were heavier in protein, like tuna, chicken, sushi, eggs, yogurt, cottage cheese, etc. Or maybe it's just because I've finally allowed myself certain fats in my diet. I've been eating chocolate a lot the past few days, only because I've been absolutely craving it, but hey...that's definitely a sign of that time of the month (*watches as all of the male readers of this thread grumble and march away*...)
So...in other news...I'm finding that I don't think about eating so much any more. Because I usually eat on a normal, dependable schedule, I don't find myself asking the question "Am I hungry enough to eat? Should I eat now? Or later?" And I don't feel bad about being extra hungry on certain days. Today, for example, I was a furnace. A lean, mean, calorie consuming machine. Nut granola bar for breakfast, along with an almond granola bar after the gym, an apple for a snack, a chicken sandwich with cottage cheese and yet another yogurt granola bar, and finally yogurt for an afternoon snack, followed by a sub and two (yes, two) chocolate chip cookies with soy milk! Do I have any idea how many calories I had? Nope. Do I care? Nope. Am I content to go to bed in a half hour, not wondering if I could have had more calories because I worked out? Nope. (Do I secretly want another cookie? YEP!)
I would definitely say I have more energy this week. And I haven't even been getting coffee as regularly or as often as I have been in the past. I've gotten my elliptical time back up to 20 minutes (finally). Taking all that time off really effected my endurance, but now that I think about it, I really stopped doing the elliptical for 45 minutes this past summer, so it was about a 3 month slow down. Now, I'm begging the time counter to speed up to 20 minutes every time I step on it...but seeing as how last week I was dead tired at 7 minutes, I'd say it's an improvement.
I also feel proud that I no longer have to look at the diagrams attached to the weight training equipment in the nautilus! I'm a singer, so I don't try to lift more than 2 sets, with 10 reps, and I don't lift a lot of weight (intense lifting causes the vocal chords to have immense pressure on them due to a valve effect...it's true...I learned about it in class!) I'm not sure if I see a change yet in my legs, but I'm more sure than ever that all of the weight I regained is definitely in my thighs, hips and butt.
So, thanks SO much to everyone who's posted encouragement. It really makes me feel good to know that I'm not the only one out there struggling to be normal again. I never thought I could get back to finally just being an "average" size without fretting about having the perfect body, but I'm getting there, one day at a time.
Regardless! This is big. I don't remember having a period on my own in forever...I used to be on prescribed birth control pills, only to regulate my system, but I'm currently not taking any meds or supplements of any kind. This is my system, finally responding.
I have to wonder...was it the added protein I've been adding in? This week I've tried to go extra heavy on the carbs, in my own way. I'm not saying I ate steak upon steak...I just tried to actively choose things that were heavier in protein, like tuna, chicken, sushi, eggs, yogurt, cottage cheese, etc. Or maybe it's just because I've finally allowed myself certain fats in my diet. I've been eating chocolate a lot the past few days, only because I've been absolutely craving it, but hey...that's definitely a sign of that time of the month (*watches as all of the male readers of this thread grumble and march away*...)
So...in other news...I'm finding that I don't think about eating so much any more. Because I usually eat on a normal, dependable schedule, I don't find myself asking the question "Am I hungry enough to eat? Should I eat now? Or later?" And I don't feel bad about being extra hungry on certain days. Today, for example, I was a furnace. A lean, mean, calorie consuming machine. Nut granola bar for breakfast, along with an almond granola bar after the gym, an apple for a snack, a chicken sandwich with cottage cheese and yet another yogurt granola bar, and finally yogurt for an afternoon snack, followed by a sub and two (yes, two) chocolate chip cookies with soy milk! Do I have any idea how many calories I had? Nope. Do I care? Nope. Am I content to go to bed in a half hour, not wondering if I could have had more calories because I worked out? Nope. (Do I secretly want another cookie? YEP!)
I would definitely say I have more energy this week. And I haven't even been getting coffee as regularly or as often as I have been in the past. I've gotten my elliptical time back up to 20 minutes (finally). Taking all that time off really effected my endurance, but now that I think about it, I really stopped doing the elliptical for 45 minutes this past summer, so it was about a 3 month slow down. Now, I'm begging the time counter to speed up to 20 minutes every time I step on it...but seeing as how last week I was dead tired at 7 minutes, I'd say it's an improvement.
I also feel proud that I no longer have to look at the diagrams attached to the weight training equipment in the nautilus! I'm a singer, so I don't try to lift more than 2 sets, with 10 reps, and I don't lift a lot of weight (intense lifting causes the vocal chords to have immense pressure on them due to a valve effect...it's true...I learned about it in class!) I'm not sure if I see a change yet in my legs, but I'm more sure than ever that all of the weight I regained is definitely in my thighs, hips and butt.
So, thanks SO much to everyone who's posted encouragement. It really makes me feel good to know that I'm not the only one out there struggling to be normal again. I never thought I could get back to finally just being an "average" size without fretting about having the perfect body, but I'm getting there, one day at a time.
Congrats Katopong, thats great news! (Sorry I haven't written in a while!) I was on the depo shot for years after I had my son and got off about about 2 years ago this November. I've been on b/c pills to get my period back for the past few months as it still never returned on its own. I'm anxious to see what will happen if I stop the pills. I'll never get that friggin shot again! It totally shut my reproductive system down, which its supposed to, but also supposed to come back at least a year later!! I'm not crazy about the pills I'm on, they make me bloated and give me bad headaches, but I still have 2 packs left. When they are finished I'm going to be medicine free for a while and see what happens...
I finally ate somewhat normally yesterday for the first time without freaking out and/or binging when I got home! We went to Fudruckkers and I got a bison burger (no butter on the bun, or mayo or cheeze) and an order of fries. Of course I couldn't help but mentally calculate the calories up, but I calculated it to be just a little over my maintenance number. After we ate, I went to the gym and did about 15 min of cardio then my weight class. I felt great afterwards! Normally, after a dinner like that, I would have said to hell with it and PIGGED out on whatever was in my pantry; however, I don't know if it was the class or what, but I didn't do it at all and didn't even think about doing it when I got home! I'm sure I could have afforded a small snack after my workout, but I was still full (yes, I could feel it!--big improvement) and had no desire to eat more. This is all such a big improvement for me as well. I wonder if I hadn't worked out if things would have been different, but I'm not worried about it. I didn't binge last night and I'm thrilled! I hope I can progress to the same state of mind as you are about calories. I think I just might slowly but surely be getting there. Only time will tell!
Edit for afterthought: I think its great you are eating cookies (two!!) and allowing yourself the extra calories. I'm still scared of sweets like cookies, brownies, etc. I think Halloween will be a true test. I worry so much that if I just allow myself ONE tiny bite that it will lead to a binge. I know thats not the right frame of mind to be in, but thats just how it is. I hope hope hope one day I'll be able to eat a cookie like a normal person and not worry about eating EVERYthing. Also, I'll be the first to admit, I'm pretty scared of Thanksgiving this year! I'm looking forward to it, but dreading it at the same time. My family cooks SO much GOOD food. Last year I didn't have this ED problem and I still ate til I was physically sick. I hope I can keep it all under control this time around. We travel out of state and stay where all the food will be, so unfortunately I'll be around it for about 3 days and I'm scared about that. ok, now I feel like I'm rambling...Must be the coffee...lol
I finally ate somewhat normally yesterday for the first time without freaking out and/or binging when I got home! We went to Fudruckkers and I got a bison burger (no butter on the bun, or mayo or cheeze) and an order of fries. Of course I couldn't help but mentally calculate the calories up, but I calculated it to be just a little over my maintenance number. After we ate, I went to the gym and did about 15 min of cardio then my weight class. I felt great afterwards! Normally, after a dinner like that, I would have said to hell with it and PIGGED out on whatever was in my pantry; however, I don't know if it was the class or what, but I didn't do it at all and didn't even think about doing it when I got home! I'm sure I could have afforded a small snack after my workout, but I was still full (yes, I could feel it!--big improvement) and had no desire to eat more. This is all such a big improvement for me as well. I wonder if I hadn't worked out if things would have been different, but I'm not worried about it. I didn't binge last night and I'm thrilled! I hope I can progress to the same state of mind as you are about calories. I think I just might slowly but surely be getting there. Only time will tell!
Edit for afterthought: I think its great you are eating cookies (two!!) and allowing yourself the extra calories. I'm still scared of sweets like cookies, brownies, etc. I think Halloween will be a true test. I worry so much that if I just allow myself ONE tiny bite that it will lead to a binge. I know thats not the right frame of mind to be in, but thats just how it is. I hope hope hope one day I'll be able to eat a cookie like a normal person and not worry about eating EVERYthing. Also, I'll be the first to admit, I'm pretty scared of Thanksgiving this year! I'm looking forward to it, but dreading it at the same time. My family cooks SO much GOOD food. Last year I didn't have this ED problem and I still ate til I was physically sick. I hope I can keep it all under control this time around. We travel out of state and stay where all the food will be, so unfortunately I'll be around it for about 3 days and I'm scared about that. ok, now I feel like I'm rambling...Must be the coffee...lol
Well, we can't have good days all the time...
I had a "fat" day. I did. Coupled with my period, severe bloating, and going to the gym today, my "fat" pants indeed did feel fat. I'm sick...there are two golf balls in the back of my throat...my head feels like it's a balloon...and I've been nauseous all day long. But, it's only one bad day out of a good week, so I assume it's nothing to fret about. I have heard of people saying their jeans feel tighter after beginning weight training for a while, but that eventually that evens out. I hope this is true in my case.
I also was able to go 22 minutes on the elliptical this morning! A new high! Well, my old high was 50 minutes, and at one point, an hour, but after a few weeks of doing no exercise, I now have to build up my endurance again. Probably doesn't help that my ovaries are declaring war this week, and my tonsils decided to join them!
I have two new food obsessions to tell you all about: protein bars and cottage cheese/chick peas. First, the bars. I'm really trying hard to get more protein in my diet, so when I happened to glance over at this one protein bar at the gym which said it had 31 g of protein, I freaked. That's what I usually probably get in a day without trying. Plus, it really wasn't that bad to swallow down...almost like a brownie (ALMOST). So, before lunchtime, I had already had 38g of protein in me. For lunch I had bourbon chicken, so probably another 25g, along with a cookie (I can't be all good...it was double chocolate chunk!) But you know, I didn't snack or eat the rest of the afternoon. And for dinner, I had a chicken sandwich with hummus, fat free cheese and bacon, on this AMAZING bread I found at the grocery store...6g of fiber and 4g of protein PER SLICE! Amazing! And along with the chicken and bacon and cheese, I had a pretty powerfully protein-y sandwich, wouldn't you say?
Now, my second obsession: cottage cheese with chick peas. I am in love with this snack. I don't know why, but I am. I also like to pair cottage cheese with peas, also getting a great amount of fiber in the process.
So, you would think with the foods I've been adding into my diet, I would be able to lose weight, right? Well, that would be the scientific answer, but my metabolism's just not ready to "go to work" yet. Hopefully by the holidays I will notice a difference. I know I need to go through this frustrating time of weight gain and bloating if I ever want to get back to normal. I figure once I do, it will be so easy to maintain my weight. I now like trying to eat healthfully, and now that I'm no longer pushing myself to do cardio 6 days a week for an hour at a time, I don't feel as tired out, or as frustrated when I can't eat.
I am, though, still considering about going on fiber pills again. Although, I'm not sure if it would cause more harm than help right now in restoring my digestive system to the way it was. Any thoughts?
I had a "fat" day. I did. Coupled with my period, severe bloating, and going to the gym today, my "fat" pants indeed did feel fat. I'm sick...there are two golf balls in the back of my throat...my head feels like it's a balloon...and I've been nauseous all day long. But, it's only one bad day out of a good week, so I assume it's nothing to fret about. I have heard of people saying their jeans feel tighter after beginning weight training for a while, but that eventually that evens out. I hope this is true in my case.
I also was able to go 22 minutes on the elliptical this morning! A new high! Well, my old high was 50 minutes, and at one point, an hour, but after a few weeks of doing no exercise, I now have to build up my endurance again. Probably doesn't help that my ovaries are declaring war this week, and my tonsils decided to join them!
I have two new food obsessions to tell you all about: protein bars and cottage cheese/chick peas. First, the bars. I'm really trying hard to get more protein in my diet, so when I happened to glance over at this one protein bar at the gym which said it had 31 g of protein, I freaked. That's what I usually probably get in a day without trying. Plus, it really wasn't that bad to swallow down...almost like a brownie (ALMOST). So, before lunchtime, I had already had 38g of protein in me. For lunch I had bourbon chicken, so probably another 25g, along with a cookie (I can't be all good...it was double chocolate chunk!) But you know, I didn't snack or eat the rest of the afternoon. And for dinner, I had a chicken sandwich with hummus, fat free cheese and bacon, on this AMAZING bread I found at the grocery store...6g of fiber and 4g of protein PER SLICE! Amazing! And along with the chicken and bacon and cheese, I had a pretty powerfully protein-y sandwich, wouldn't you say?
Now, my second obsession: cottage cheese with chick peas. I am in love with this snack. I don't know why, but I am. I also like to pair cottage cheese with peas, also getting a great amount of fiber in the process.
So, you would think with the foods I've been adding into my diet, I would be able to lose weight, right? Well, that would be the scientific answer, but my metabolism's just not ready to "go to work" yet. Hopefully by the holidays I will notice a difference. I know I need to go through this frustrating time of weight gain and bloating if I ever want to get back to normal. I figure once I do, it will be so easy to maintain my weight. I now like trying to eat healthfully, and now that I'm no longer pushing myself to do cardio 6 days a week for an hour at a time, I don't feel as tired out, or as frustrated when I can't eat.
I am, though, still considering about going on fiber pills again. Although, I'm not sure if it would cause more harm than help right now in restoring my digestive system to the way it was. Any thoughts?
hows your journey coming? i'm in a very similar state myself right now and have some questions. I am a 6'4" 25year old male and went down from 185lbs to about 145lbs within about 2 years of a extreme low calorie diet. i was eating about 1000 a day max for a long time. i'm JUST starting to eat more and add a few things back into my diet ( a kraft single on a egg or some raisins into my oatmeal in the morning) and i have noticed my face get fatter in the last 2 weeks of this new diet. im still hoving at about 1500cals a day but i wanna get my metabolism back up again so i can eat like i used to. Probably 2800cals a day when i was 20. i wanna enjoy food again and not think about planning a meal based on how much i can eat for as little calories as possible. i wanna enjoy a slice of pizza or a muffin again without feeling guilty.
anyways, should i just start pigging out more? i mean, not on sweets and stuff.. but maybe like for example, eat a big sandwich, whole can of soup, and fruit and yogurt for a lunch? i mean, that's about 700~800 calories right there. im not very active during the day because of my job so im worried to overeat but scared that if i undereat i can't pull myself out of this. how long did it take for youre body to start metabolizing better?
i think i can eat about double of what im eating now. i dunno.. i need to fit in more snacks and fruits during the day.. i just need some advice/help/motivation/comfort on the whole thing...
i feel like im eating TONS now and my stomach is always full even after a single APPLE. what should i do? im really desperate to get my real life back without worrying about food all the time.
anyways, should i just start pigging out more? i mean, not on sweets and stuff.. but maybe like for example, eat a big sandwich, whole can of soup, and fruit and yogurt for a lunch? i mean, that's about 700~800 calories right there. im not very active during the day because of my job so im worried to overeat but scared that if i undereat i can't pull myself out of this. how long did it take for youre body to start metabolizing better?
i think i can eat about double of what im eating now. i dunno.. i need to fit in more snacks and fruits during the day.. i just need some advice/help/motivation/comfort on the whole thing...
i feel like im eating TONS now and my stomach is always full even after a single APPLE. what should i do? im really desperate to get my real life back without worrying about food all the time.
Well, my journey is still continuing, but I will tell you: it does get better. I'm feeling the best I've felt in a few months right now, and a lot of the bloating I experienced has gone tremendously down. But, at first, I would go days without going to the bathroom, and my stomach would bloat like a pregnant woman's. It was so unbearable, but luckily I worked all summer long, so I always wore baggy clothing to cover it up. You'll find that weight will be redistributed in very odd areas. For me, almost nothing went into my upper body or in my calves...it all went around my midsection. Through my "refeeding," I actually started to eat healthier, introducing foods high fiber, protein and whole grains. I figured if I was going to make myself eat more calories, I would at least do it healthfully.
I also went on a full body cleanse for 7 days, and I really think that had a positive effect on helping me. Ever since that time, I've noticed the bloating has gone down, and I'm more regular. In fact, the bloating really hasn't been horrible at all lately. I've introduced weight training into my life, and I can definitely see some of the effects already. I've cut way back on the cardio, and generally, I have a more laid back attitude when it comes to exercising now. If I feel like it on the weekends, I do it...but if not, those are my days to recuperate.
Try eliminating foods that are known to cause bloating...pop, salty items...not totally from your diet, but don't try to eat them in excess. You're going to just have to do a bit of trial-and-error. Add calories in, monitor your weight, but really, go by how you feel and how your clothes fit...weight is deceiving. Water weight can fluctuate 3-5 pounds daily, so really, just go by how you feel. I went from eating 1300-1500 over this summer per day (calories, of course), to eventually more...but I wasn't eating them consecutively. When I moved to school in the fall, I made mysefl eat at least 1800 calories per day, EVERY day, so my body got used to the amount of calories I was giving it. Then I even upped it to at least 2,000. However, there was one point where I just said to myself, I don't like forcing myself to eat this many calories AND also trying to recognize true signs of hunger in myself. When you go from counting calories to trying to eat by monitoring how you feel, you have to give up worrying how many calories are in each part of your meal...otherwise, you'll never learn how to eat normally. So, for the past month or so...I've been really trying to just eat with how my body is feeling. If I'm not tremendously hungry for lunch, a sandwich and snack usually fills me up...other days, I'll eat a sandwich, yogurt, apple and a cookie. I've been sick lately, so I haven't been able to get much down, but that's okay...no use making yourself sick by forcing food down.
So...as hard as this might sound...it's definitely a trial-and-error thing with your weight. It may also be a waiting game. I'm not sure at this point if I'll ever be able to get back down to my goal weight, but at the moment, I'm perfectly okay with how I look now. It's a big mental battle, too. Once you're willing to say "okay, I'm a perfectly happy human being as I am now," then you can really finally start to let go of your previous behaviors with EDs.
I also went on a full body cleanse for 7 days, and I really think that had a positive effect on helping me. Ever since that time, I've noticed the bloating has gone down, and I'm more regular. In fact, the bloating really hasn't been horrible at all lately. I've introduced weight training into my life, and I can definitely see some of the effects already. I've cut way back on the cardio, and generally, I have a more laid back attitude when it comes to exercising now. If I feel like it on the weekends, I do it...but if not, those are my days to recuperate.
Try eliminating foods that are known to cause bloating...pop, salty items...not totally from your diet, but don't try to eat them in excess. You're going to just have to do a bit of trial-and-error. Add calories in, monitor your weight, but really, go by how you feel and how your clothes fit...weight is deceiving. Water weight can fluctuate 3-5 pounds daily, so really, just go by how you feel. I went from eating 1300-1500 over this summer per day (calories, of course), to eventually more...but I wasn't eating them consecutively. When I moved to school in the fall, I made mysefl eat at least 1800 calories per day, EVERY day, so my body got used to the amount of calories I was giving it. Then I even upped it to at least 2,000. However, there was one point where I just said to myself, I don't like forcing myself to eat this many calories AND also trying to recognize true signs of hunger in myself. When you go from counting calories to trying to eat by monitoring how you feel, you have to give up worrying how many calories are in each part of your meal...otherwise, you'll never learn how to eat normally. So, for the past month or so...I've been really trying to just eat with how my body is feeling. If I'm not tremendously hungry for lunch, a sandwich and snack usually fills me up...other days, I'll eat a sandwich, yogurt, apple and a cookie. I've been sick lately, so I haven't been able to get much down, but that's okay...no use making yourself sick by forcing food down.
So...as hard as this might sound...it's definitely a trial-and-error thing with your weight. It may also be a waiting game. I'm not sure at this point if I'll ever be able to get back down to my goal weight, but at the moment, I'm perfectly okay with how I look now. It's a big mental battle, too. Once you're willing to say "okay, I'm a perfectly happy human being as I am now," then you can really finally start to let go of your previous behaviors with EDs.
Ahh, faithful readers...bit of a vent session today, I must admit. I had a "fat" day, as so many of us do from time to time...after slipping on a pair of pants today, I just felt really bogged down...like my legs had lead strapped to either side. I was bloated, and I just felt heavy....like something was weighing me down. On a scale update, it's still back where it was when I began this journey back in September, which is a good thing I suppose, but I really thought with the weight training and finally just eating as to how my stomach informed me that I'd see some difference.
I'm wondering, at this point, if weight training effects me differently than some people. I used to be obsessed with the Elliptical, but over the summer, I gradually toned down my cardio to power walking, but then again...that's when I also began adding more food back into my diet. But when the elliptical went out the window, I noticed a distinct change in my legs, and not for the better. I'm wondering if I'm the type of person who responds better to intense cardio, rather than small, separated bursts of cardio, with more emphasis on weight training? I'm thinking, for a week, that the three days I do go to the gym will be focused on strictly cardio, with only a few sets of dumbells thrown in for good measure. Any thoughts?
I'm wondering, at this point, if weight training effects me differently than some people. I used to be obsessed with the Elliptical, but over the summer, I gradually toned down my cardio to power walking, but then again...that's when I also began adding more food back into my diet. But when the elliptical went out the window, I noticed a distinct change in my legs, and not for the better. I'm wondering if I'm the type of person who responds better to intense cardio, rather than small, separated bursts of cardio, with more emphasis on weight training? I'm thinking, for a week, that the three days I do go to the gym will be focused on strictly cardio, with only a few sets of dumbells thrown in for good measure. Any thoughts?
Katopong, I def havent seen your posts in a while. Did you mean that the update is that you are the way your were before your ED? or does that mean that you are still at the same weight during your ED? I want to know this because it helps to hear stories like yours to keep me motivated. I am trying really hard to become normal again. I hope that you are going great with your recovery and your life is back on track.
Also about the exercise, I think I am the same way. But instead of the elliptical which I love but no longer have a gym membership to get access to, I run. Lately though I have just tried doing at home 20 min strength training exercises to build muscle and I have been practicing yoga at a nearby studio. As far as the cardio goes, the sessions at the gym are great if you are making sure to take in enough because I know that after working out and before working out you def should be snacking on protein. I also love to power walk too. I would suggest that maybe you just try to even out your sessions more. I have researched this subject and shorter more intense workouts are way more effective than long ones because your body and muscles get tired and do not work as hard as with a shorter more intense run or brisk walk. I would say split up your time. Like do 10 on the elliptical, then 10 on the weights, 10 on the stairstepper or whatever, then 10 back on crunches or other strength exercises. I know this works well with me because I seem to be able to get an all over workout this way. I hope this helps a little!
Also about the exercise, I think I am the same way. But instead of the elliptical which I love but no longer have a gym membership to get access to, I run. Lately though I have just tried doing at home 20 min strength training exercises to build muscle and I have been practicing yoga at a nearby studio. As far as the cardio goes, the sessions at the gym are great if you are making sure to take in enough because I know that after working out and before working out you def should be snacking on protein. I also love to power walk too. I would suggest that maybe you just try to even out your sessions more. I have researched this subject and shorter more intense workouts are way more effective than long ones because your body and muscles get tired and do not work as hard as with a shorter more intense run or brisk walk. I would say split up your time. Like do 10 on the elliptical, then 10 on the weights, 10 on the stairstepper or whatever, then 10 back on crunches or other strength exercises. I know this works well with me because I seem to be able to get an all over workout this way. I hope this helps a little!
Well, it's hard to describe how I am now. Before my ED, I was about 145 lbs. I lost about 15 lbs the first year I began dieting, but I really was healthy about how I did it...I just started going to the gym and watched my sweet/junk food intake. But, when I started dieting the "incorrect way", I went down to 110 lbs. When I began adding more food back into my diet, I went up to 120 lbs, which was a great weight for me, and I would love to get back down to even 125 at this point. But, over the summer, I really tried to start eating like a normal person...mind you, my stomach is still quite small, so I can never usually finish a meal. I also grew tired with my workout routine, so I began to change that up, but by the time the summer was over I was around 130-133 lbs. I've been around that weight for a while now, using only 1 scale to determine my progress. I weighed myself the other day at the gym, and was shocked to see that scale say 140, so I'm not entirely sure what to believe. Even if I'm 140, I'm definitely wearing smaller sizes than I was nearly 5 years ago. I know a few pounds of this is water weight, but it truly does scare me to think that I would ever go back up to 145.
Now, when I've seen the scale rise, I've gotten increasingly nervous, thinking "Oh, I can just restrict for a few days and workout REALLY hard," but then I stop and realize a few things:
Now, when I've seen the scale rise, I've gotten increasingly nervous, thinking "Oh, I can just restrict for a few days and workout REALLY hard," but then I stop and realize a few things:
- I LOVE food now. I've missed food. Basically, I've been starving for all those years of dieting, and I'd like to take my life back. Now, I'm not saying I go hog wild and get Big Macs, fries and shakes for dinners every night of the week. But I'd like to get a cappucino or even a cookie without worrying so much. So, I know I will never go back on a strict diet. Therefore...
- I have to workout if I want to be a certain size. That's just the way it is. I've always been active throughout my entire life, so I know I need to get my butt up in the morning. However...
- I feel like my new routine isn't making any changes. I began weightlifting about a month ago...the gym 3 days a week, 20 min. of cardio, with about 40 minutes of weightlifting. I also do 2 days of yoga on my off days. The other day, though, I just felt like my pants were tighter and that it wasn't giving me the effects I've been looking for. Soo...
- I think I'm going to change up my routine to add in more cardio again. The other day I did 45 minutes on the elliptical, and I felt great afterwards. I'm not going to embark on another routine like I had last year (that was WAY too extreme...cardio AND yoga almost every day). But...I would like to know all of your opinions on how much cardio you all do per week...and how many days of rest you take, etc.
Hi katopong,
I have LOVED reading your posts. It's almost as if it were me writing them. We're both reflective people and happen to be going through the same thing. Some of the things you talked about fit me to a "T." Someone commented on how intelligent and articulate you seem to be and I have been told the same thing. I also tend to go in to quite a bit of detail when trying to give a full and accurate account of something :)
(Here's my LONG story... hopefully some people will take the time to read through it). I feel very much that we're (katapong and I) in the same place in life right now, even if we didn't begin the whole process in the same way. Right now I still look fairly thin in my clothes and no one would suspect that I feel the way I do about my body. At a doctor's appt. recently, upon weighing me and looking at my height, she commented on how there were "no weight problems" and my "BMI is great" because according to the weight/height chart, it is. HAH! If only you knew that my body composition was almost completely fat and 0 muscle. If only she saw me in a swimsuit or in my underwear, she would see the truth. She didn't seem as concerned as I was that last spring my weight was 118 and now this fall it had skyrocketed to 132, all the time during which I was still doing cardio and eating a good diet.
Interestingly enough, I did have a "DEXA scan" a year ago this fall that would measure my body composition by, I think, some kind of thermal scan (I can't quite remember). I just laid on a table and some kind of scanning device hovered over me, measuring where the fat and muscle was on my body. The person who was doing the testing was surprised when I came in wanting it tested, as he usually has pretty obese people coming in, and when I told him my body weight was 116, he almost didn't think the test was necessary (it's not cheap, so I think he was trying to save me from spending money unnecessarily). But, when I told him the story, he said we could do the test. I remember his reaction quite well when he saw the test results... he was quite surprised at how little muscle I had and how much fat I had, especially in the mid-section (which was, I think, 44% fat at that point, and I'm sure it's more now). I remember him doing a double-take at the printout. I also had a metabolism test that day where I had to breathe into something for about 10 minutes. Not sure how accurate it was, but the results showed that it was much lower than he had suspected for someone my age (27 at the time), and someone who exercises every day and eats a fairly clean diet). The results would be much worse this fall I'm sure.
Anyway, I've gone into quite a bit of detail about just those two different things, but both of them illustrate the fact that the weight gain and current body composition is not just in my head, and that others are quite surprised to see the real results because they see me as a thin, young, healthy person (which isn't a bad thing!) but they don't know the struggles I deal with every day. My ED is SO much better than it used to be. AND, I'm able to approach this in a much healthier way than I was able to 2 or 3 years ago. However, this does not change the fact that I have continued to gain weight consistently after my dramatic weight loss of 85 pounds or so after coming off of an anti-depressant and starting this whole process. None of my clothes from even just last fall fit anymore, both pants and shirts, and that was already up a size or two from my lowest weight (109).
Even though I'm only 5'2, I don't think a healthy weight for me is 109, but even still, I only weigh 132 right now and I look gross! I'm very flabby, very fatty in the midsection, have lots of cellulite in the back of my thighs, and stretch marks in many places. I'm a person that has learned to be so good about exercise, diet, and a healthy lifestyle, and I don't feel as if I'm seeing any results... and in fact I'm gaining weight. I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, or anything, and I manage stress fairly well (most of the time). I used to take a fat burner (Lean System 7) which really helped me to get the results I got, and sometimes I feel like falling back on that, but then I think, sure, I could lose the fat again, but it's not going to magically make me gain muscle, I have to do that on my own and gradually.
I get really frustrated some days because of the length of time it's been since I began being more sensible and approaching this in a healthy way... I'm not expecting overnight results, but come on, this has been 2 years! And, for my age, I would think I would recover from this faster than if I was 40 or 50. I hate seeing my naked body every day when showering and getting dressed because it looks to me like a person who doesn't even try which isn't true at all. I just got married this summer and I know in a couple of years we will begin having kids and I will likely gain more weight during that process. But, why can't I see results now from my hard work?
I have recently cut down my cardio and added in strength training (3 days a week) to my regimen... something I was not really doing before. I'm hoping that over time this will be the thing that makes the difference. I try to eat about 1800-2000 cals a day of mostly good things and I drink a lot of water. I have to keep reminding myself that I need these extra calories and that the cardio isn't something to burn calories right now, but simply to get my metabolism going again and to build my cardiovascular endurance back up. I get pretty weak and winded now, although it's gotten better in the past couple of months! I'm not sure how many months of excess calories and strength training you need to really gain back some lean muscle mass, but I'm assuming after some point I'll be able to start working on burning fat again, and not just building muscle. I have a long way to go, but it's been such a learning process so far. Something that, at times I wish I hadn't had to go through, but at other times, I'm so glad that I did because I have changed so much for the better... now if only my body could change as much as my mindset has! Good luck to all of you who are dealing with these same kinds of issues, and find comfort in the fact that there are people out there going through the same struggles everyday.
Amy
Well, my loves, it's back to square one.
The holidays have run their course, and I'm no further ahead than I was a few months ago. This past week, I've been feeling severely bloated, unable to handle three meals a day, and even all my gym efforts have been making my thighs feel bigger.
I know that my calorie intake has been nowhere near 2,000 a day, yet for some reason, I've felt the extra pounds creep on. But, there hopefully is a silver lining.
I have been making a few doctor's visits lately, and, fortunately, nothing seems to be wrong with either my thyroid or pituitary. This is a good thing, but still, highly frustrating. It still means that despite my efforts at the gym and in the kitchen, the weight keeps coming on.
I'm currently trying what has been called the "Cleveland Clinic Diet," or "3 Day Diet." The basis behind it is a natural detox using food combinations and interactions (i.e. protein and carbs together, no carbs after dinner, no fake sugars). I'm willing to try anything at this point to jumpstart something...anything!
I'm also getting ready to go back on Estrostep, a light form of birth control. I'm beginning to think that my hormones are playing a huge part in all of this, and even my doctor thought it might be something due to cortisol, which is released when you're under a lot of stress...welcome to the last year of my life!
I've also been reading that I may be fighting against adrenal failure (gosh, don't I sound like a hypochondriac?!?) At first, I thought it was my thyroid, but when that fell through, it was back to the old drawing board.
I've been reading up on how your hormones can really effect weight gain (i.e. unexpected weight gain), even if you diet and exercise. And if you're suffering from adrenal exhaustion and you don't know it, you might be packing on the pounds, especially around your midsection (hellooooo!?!)
Surprisingly, I read that heavy cardio and too many workouts can almost have a negative effect on helping this, because they further exhaust the adrenals. This is surprising news to a 5 year dieter/exerciser. I've read that I should stick to low intensity workouts, like walking and yoga, which is something I already do. But if I stop my high intensity cardio, what's going to happen to my weight?
Well, at this point, it certainly couldn't hurt matters. In fact, if I stick to just walking and yoga, it may help me make healthier food choices rather than rely on cardio to burn it all off (which it hasn't been doing).
So, with the New Year, I'm trying something completely new, and that's not devoting my life to exercise. I'm so used to waking up at 7 AM every morning to do some form of cardio, and I've forgotten what it's like to just wake up, have a small breakfast and enjoy watching the news. It's always been "wake up, get the cardio done, stretch, weight lift, and only eat if I'm truly hungry." You can see why that adds to stress.
So, my friends, this thread will take a different path now, and I will hopefully have some good news to update you with on my next post!
The holidays have run their course, and I'm no further ahead than I was a few months ago. This past week, I've been feeling severely bloated, unable to handle three meals a day, and even all my gym efforts have been making my thighs feel bigger.
I know that my calorie intake has been nowhere near 2,000 a day, yet for some reason, I've felt the extra pounds creep on. But, there hopefully is a silver lining.
I have been making a few doctor's visits lately, and, fortunately, nothing seems to be wrong with either my thyroid or pituitary. This is a good thing, but still, highly frustrating. It still means that despite my efforts at the gym and in the kitchen, the weight keeps coming on.
I'm currently trying what has been called the "Cleveland Clinic Diet," or "3 Day Diet." The basis behind it is a natural detox using food combinations and interactions (i.e. protein and carbs together, no carbs after dinner, no fake sugars). I'm willing to try anything at this point to jumpstart something...anything!
I'm also getting ready to go back on Estrostep, a light form of birth control. I'm beginning to think that my hormones are playing a huge part in all of this, and even my doctor thought it might be something due to cortisol, which is released when you're under a lot of stress...welcome to the last year of my life!
I've also been reading that I may be fighting against adrenal failure (gosh, don't I sound like a hypochondriac?!?) At first, I thought it was my thyroid, but when that fell through, it was back to the old drawing board.
I've been reading up on how your hormones can really effect weight gain (i.e. unexpected weight gain), even if you diet and exercise. And if you're suffering from adrenal exhaustion and you don't know it, you might be packing on the pounds, especially around your midsection (hellooooo!?!)
Surprisingly, I read that heavy cardio and too many workouts can almost have a negative effect on helping this, because they further exhaust the adrenals. This is surprising news to a 5 year dieter/exerciser. I've read that I should stick to low intensity workouts, like walking and yoga, which is something I already do. But if I stop my high intensity cardio, what's going to happen to my weight?
Well, at this point, it certainly couldn't hurt matters. In fact, if I stick to just walking and yoga, it may help me make healthier food choices rather than rely on cardio to burn it all off (which it hasn't been doing).
So, with the New Year, I'm trying something completely new, and that's not devoting my life to exercise. I'm so used to waking up at 7 AM every morning to do some form of cardio, and I've forgotten what it's like to just wake up, have a small breakfast and enjoy watching the news. It's always been "wake up, get the cardio done, stretch, weight lift, and only eat if I'm truly hungry." You can see why that adds to stress.
So, my friends, this thread will take a different path now, and I will hopefully have some good news to update you with on my next post!
Katopong, sometimes I forget just how much alike we are!! Your last post prompted me to reply because you mentioned that you might be suffering from adrenal failure. I have recently learned about this too, and I'm almost positive that I am experiencing this. I have SO many hypothyroid symptoms, and a big history of it in my family, yet my thyroid levels are considered normal and my doctor doesn't think it's a concern (however, I know that this can be a controversial issue between patients and doctors).
Recently, I took a nutrition test at my chiropractor's office. It showed that my adrenal glands, kidneys, and stomach had high stress being placed upon them, and that I may be suffering from adrenal failure/exhaustion/dysfuntion, whatever you'd like to call it. The official term is "hypoadrenia." It has many of the same symptoms as hypothyroidism and both have to do with the endocrine system, which includes digestion and metabolism of food and water in the body. The adrenals help with many, many body systems and processes, and can be depleted if the body is under too much stress.
This doesn't just mean daily stress, although it can be if it's chronic daily stress. It usually means a period of very high emotional or physical stress, which can include things like the death of a loved one, AND, either poor diet and/or overexercising. So, what this has to do with you and I (and probably others on this board), is that if you put your body through any kind of starvation diet, this can call upon your adrenals to just give and give and give until they essentially give up. They still function, but not well, and many refer to it as functional hypoadrenia.
There are no official lab tests just for hypoadrenia, and unfortunately, many medical doctors don't acknowledge hypoadrenia as a ligitimate condition, due mostly to the fact that there is no "pill" that can be prescribed and made money off of. But, if you read about it on the web, you will find that this is one of the most undiagnosed conditions in the country because people can still function while they're suffering, so it doesn't seem as serious and it's not really life threatening. There are at-home test kits that you can order, as well as natural supplements and vitamins and minerals that will help to repair and rebuild the adrenal glands.
I'm going to keep looking in to it, and my chiropractor has recommended a daily multivitamin that strongly supports the adrenals. I will start this on Monday and will keep you updated on how it goes. I'm hopeful! I think that this finally answers my question about why I feel so hypothyroid and yet, don't have hypothyroidism. I'd love to hear comments on this condition from any of you that have experienced it, or think that you may suffer from this too. Here are a few links that I found helpful in understanding it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypoadrenia
http://tuberose.com/Adrenal_Glands.html
http://www.saharaclinic.com/pasadenahypoglyce mia.htm
Amy
Amy, it's good to hear from you! Actually, I don't remember if I've mentioned this, but I just had some more blood work done to check out my insulin levels, and I will learn the results on Wednesday. It's so weird for me to be thinking I might need to STOP exercising to get a control on my weight, but at this point, I'm desperate to try anything that works.
I recently completed the "Cleveland Clinic Diet." I successfully finished it, and for anyone who's ever gone on it, you know how hard it is to complete. It is a strict diet of protein/carb combinations, with mostly raw foods, and absolutely no refined sugars. Veggies, fruit, bread, cheese, eggs...sounds okay, right? Well, not when your lunch consists of ONLY a hard boiled egg and ONE piece of toast! Complaining aside, I just finished it yesterday, and even if I didn't lose weight on it, I just felt better: less iritable, less bloated, and in a better mood.
I've also recently purchased Vitamin B and C supplements, because I've heard this helps with adrenal repair. I also just went to the store today to buy some "medicinal" foods: cheese, milk, yogurt, fruit, good proteins, high fiber cereal, etc. I really want to see if a simple change in my diet can bring my weight back down to a nice 120. I felt so...buoyant...at that weight, and I would love to even get back to 125 at this point.
And to all of you who have responded to my post: it really means a lot to hear that there are other people out there going through frustrating problems like these that don't always have a simple solution. Hopefully we can help ourselves through it!
I've also begun writing in my journal on here (not sure if it's public). If it isn't public, I was thinking of starting a Xanga site to chronicle the ups and downs of getting your body back on track. Sort of a comical view on dieting and life, if you will. Stay tuned!
P.S. It was hard to monitor any weight gain/loss after I finished the diet (only because I'm a girl and we have girl "issues" once a month). But I did feel like my pants were 1% looser, if that helps!
I recently completed the "Cleveland Clinic Diet." I successfully finished it, and for anyone who's ever gone on it, you know how hard it is to complete. It is a strict diet of protein/carb combinations, with mostly raw foods, and absolutely no refined sugars. Veggies, fruit, bread, cheese, eggs...sounds okay, right? Well, not when your lunch consists of ONLY a hard boiled egg and ONE piece of toast! Complaining aside, I just finished it yesterday, and even if I didn't lose weight on it, I just felt better: less iritable, less bloated, and in a better mood.
I've also recently purchased Vitamin B and C supplements, because I've heard this helps with adrenal repair. I also just went to the store today to buy some "medicinal" foods: cheese, milk, yogurt, fruit, good proteins, high fiber cereal, etc. I really want to see if a simple change in my diet can bring my weight back down to a nice 120. I felt so...buoyant...at that weight, and I would love to even get back to 125 at this point.
And to all of you who have responded to my post: it really means a lot to hear that there are other people out there going through frustrating problems like these that don't always have a simple solution. Hopefully we can help ourselves through it!
I've also begun writing in my journal on here (not sure if it's public). If it isn't public, I was thinking of starting a Xanga site to chronicle the ups and downs of getting your body back on track. Sort of a comical view on dieting and life, if you will. Stay tuned!
P.S. It was hard to monitor any weight gain/loss after I finished the diet (only because I'm a girl and we have girl "issues" once a month). But I did feel like my pants were 1% looser, if that helps!
News update, folks. Although it is a tiny change, I have noticed some difference in my measurements...a half inch here, a quarter inch here...whatever! But I have noticed a slight decrease! ('Course, Lord knows I might gain it back tomorrow, but for today, I do a happy dance). And all this from not really exercising, but just watching what I eat! I've been leisurely walking with my mom about town, doing yoga now and then, but I haven't been fanatical about it. I've been just taking it easy. (And heck, even my girlie hormones and digestive system seem to be picking up too!)
I realize that some of my posts and rantings may seem like I'm still obsessing about food and weight...and even though I may ramble on and on about it, I'm really happy with how far I've come along since this summer when I started reincorporating "normal" food into my diet. It was an incredibly difficult few months to go from being at my favorite weight, to nearly back to where I started, 5 years ago. I've learned that a lot of that is still water retention, as my body's learned to handle more calories, but it's still not exactly an ego booster.
And, as I've discovered, the weight gain may not be all my fault! One more test to get through, and then hopefully I'll have some idea of how to proceed with losing the weight healthfully this time, and without obsessing about how many calories I burn at the gym, or how little food I can eat.
I really think that I will start a blog page about my journey thus far. I really hope that my findings can help others out who have either struggled with an eating disorder, their weight, exercise, etc....bad makeup, good movies....I'm guessing it will be really random! But when I finally put it up, I will post the address here!
I realize that some of my posts and rantings may seem like I'm still obsessing about food and weight...and even though I may ramble on and on about it, I'm really happy with how far I've come along since this summer when I started reincorporating "normal" food into my diet. It was an incredibly difficult few months to go from being at my favorite weight, to nearly back to where I started, 5 years ago. I've learned that a lot of that is still water retention, as my body's learned to handle more calories, but it's still not exactly an ego booster.
And, as I've discovered, the weight gain may not be all my fault! One more test to get through, and then hopefully I'll have some idea of how to proceed with losing the weight healthfully this time, and without obsessing about how many calories I burn at the gym, or how little food I can eat.
I really think that I will start a blog page about my journey thus far. I really hope that my findings can help others out who have either struggled with an eating disorder, their weight, exercise, etc....bad makeup, good movies....I'm guessing it will be really random! But when I finally put it up, I will post the address here!
Okay! So, I made a new blog page! And here's the address:
http://theblogaroundthecorner22.blogspot.com/
Yay!
http://theblogaroundthecorner22.blogspot.com/
Yay!
Katapong,
Did you ever get your test results back to see if you were suffering from adrenal fatigue? How did your results turn out and have you changed your plan for diet/exercise as a result?
Amy
Amy, I did get my test results back, and I wish I had posted my findings sooner. I have some shocking news.
I am perfectly fine. My thyroid pituitary, insulin and glucose levels are all normal (and in some cases, superior). When the doctor gave me these results, I was floored.
I received the first two results about 2 weeks ago. When I heard my thyroid was not to blame, I got so fed up with exercising and counting calories that I was desperate to try anything. My mom (a long proponent of the Cleveland Clinic Diet), suggested that I try the diet for just 3 days, and see how I felt after it was done. She said, even if I didn't lose weight, I would certainly feel better.
And boy, did I. Granted, the diet is not something you could sustain for days at a time. It's meant to cleanse your system, then you're supposed to return to normal, healthy eating. It's a very strict diet, combining proteins with carbs (and no carbs after lunch), and the worst meal was lunch, where sometimes I only got an egg and a piece of dry toast. But, sometimes, I feasted on hot dogs, green beans, cauliflower, beets, cantaloupe AND full calorie vanilla ice cream...all in one sitting. There was a ton of fresh fruit and veggies on the plan, and it all led to some VERY interesting discoveries.
By the end of day 2, I had somehow mysteriously started my period again, a feat I have not been able to do for quite some time now. So, it was hard to monitor my weight gain/loss during the diet, because I'm assuming a lot of the weight I saw on the scale was water weight from PMS. But still, that means my system is trying to get itself back in order again.
During the diet, I also gave up fiber pills, and wouldn't you know, but my digestive system also got on track, cycling regularly everyday.
By the end of the 3rd day (with a small cheat of 3 potato chips at 11:30 PM), I was feeling leaner, less bloated, and just more energized. Granted, the diet had stripped my food intake of any fried, packaged, pre-made, sugary foods, so that might have been the reason why. But I really felt good, so I decided to head over to the grocery store and stock up on healthier food.
Another interesting note: during the diet, I also gave up exercise, only walking with my mom when I WANTED to for enjoyment. This was a big deal for me.
I had also been reading up on adrenal failure/fatigue, which I thought I was experiencing, and to remedy this, I was supposed to cling to foods containing vitamin C and healthy proteins. I was told even to not worry about calories so much...just keep a high fiber/protein intake with fresh veggies and fruit.
So, to the grocery store I went, and returned with some uber healthy foods: yogurt, cheese, lean meats, Kashi dinners, apples, bananas, fiber bread and cereal, fat free dressings, and even fat free ice cream (which was pretty damn good). For the whole next week, I tried to stick to a high protein/fiber diet, pairing carbs with proteins throughout the day. I snacked on cereal, apples, cheese and carrots when I needed to, and I absolutely did not force myself to eat a lot at mealtimes if I wasn't hungry. In other words, I did not allow myself to overeat. AND, I also forbade myself to eat past 7:30...no ifs, ands or buts.
My findings? As the week progressed, I kept steady measurements of myself, including thighs, waist, hips, and arms. From Christmas time to last week, I was down almost an inch in the thighs, hips, waist, and small fractions in the arms. All of this on top of no exercising. Just eating healthfully and not eating past dinner. And no sweets, mind you...just fat free ice cream (which I daily indulged in).
And it all starts to make sense. If you're suffering from adrenal fatigue, weight loss can be a tough battle, especially if you're working out TOO much. Which I believe I was. I exercised daily over the summer, while maintaining a tough waitressing job during the day. I wasn't eating enough calories to put on weight, but my weight certainly skyrocketed over those months. As I moved on to a different school this fall, my weight continued to climb despite my efforts at the gym, on the yoga mat, and on my rollerblades. What was I doing wrong?
I wasn't doing anything wrong, actually. I believe that my body was so exhausted from stress, overexercising and possibly eating too many sweets that it built up its cortisol reserves, a chemical in our bodies directly related to weight gain. It shoots up when we're really stressed out, and I've definitely been terribly stressed out this fall.
I'm proud to say that my scale here is back to where I saw it at the beginning of September, and my measurements seem to be decreasing slowly. I would never have imagined that the key to weight loss would be to stop exercising and just maintain a healthy diet without worrying about calories. Granted, every case is different, and at one point, I had to go to the gym if I wanted to lose weight. I will probably have to return to it eventually once my weight settles down, but at least now I think I have some answers about why my weight was mysteriously shooting up week after week.
So, that's my update for now. I hope this gives some people more insight into their own weight problems, and I'll be posting weekly updates to let you all know how it's going. Thanks to everyone who gave me encouragement. I hope I can do the same for you.
I am perfectly fine. My thyroid pituitary, insulin and glucose levels are all normal (and in some cases, superior). When the doctor gave me these results, I was floored.
I received the first two results about 2 weeks ago. When I heard my thyroid was not to blame, I got so fed up with exercising and counting calories that I was desperate to try anything. My mom (a long proponent of the Cleveland Clinic Diet), suggested that I try the diet for just 3 days, and see how I felt after it was done. She said, even if I didn't lose weight, I would certainly feel better.
And boy, did I. Granted, the diet is not something you could sustain for days at a time. It's meant to cleanse your system, then you're supposed to return to normal, healthy eating. It's a very strict diet, combining proteins with carbs (and no carbs after lunch), and the worst meal was lunch, where sometimes I only got an egg and a piece of dry toast. But, sometimes, I feasted on hot dogs, green beans, cauliflower, beets, cantaloupe AND full calorie vanilla ice cream...all in one sitting. There was a ton of fresh fruit and veggies on the plan, and it all led to some VERY interesting discoveries.
By the end of day 2, I had somehow mysteriously started my period again, a feat I have not been able to do for quite some time now. So, it was hard to monitor my weight gain/loss during the diet, because I'm assuming a lot of the weight I saw on the scale was water weight from PMS. But still, that means my system is trying to get itself back in order again.
During the diet, I also gave up fiber pills, and wouldn't you know, but my digestive system also got on track, cycling regularly everyday.
By the end of the 3rd day (with a small cheat of 3 potato chips at 11:30 PM), I was feeling leaner, less bloated, and just more energized. Granted, the diet had stripped my food intake of any fried, packaged, pre-made, sugary foods, so that might have been the reason why. But I really felt good, so I decided to head over to the grocery store and stock up on healthier food.
Another interesting note: during the diet, I also gave up exercise, only walking with my mom when I WANTED to for enjoyment. This was a big deal for me.
I had also been reading up on adrenal failure/fatigue, which I thought I was experiencing, and to remedy this, I was supposed to cling to foods containing vitamin C and healthy proteins. I was told even to not worry about calories so much...just keep a high fiber/protein intake with fresh veggies and fruit.
So, to the grocery store I went, and returned with some uber healthy foods: yogurt, cheese, lean meats, Kashi dinners, apples, bananas, fiber bread and cereal, fat free dressings, and even fat free ice cream (which was pretty damn good). For the whole next week, I tried to stick to a high protein/fiber diet, pairing carbs with proteins throughout the day. I snacked on cereal, apples, cheese and carrots when I needed to, and I absolutely did not force myself to eat a lot at mealtimes if I wasn't hungry. In other words, I did not allow myself to overeat. AND, I also forbade myself to eat past 7:30...no ifs, ands or buts.
My findings? As the week progressed, I kept steady measurements of myself, including thighs, waist, hips, and arms. From Christmas time to last week, I was down almost an inch in the thighs, hips, waist, and small fractions in the arms. All of this on top of no exercising. Just eating healthfully and not eating past dinner. And no sweets, mind you...just fat free ice cream (which I daily indulged in).
And it all starts to make sense. If you're suffering from adrenal fatigue, weight loss can be a tough battle, especially if you're working out TOO much. Which I believe I was. I exercised daily over the summer, while maintaining a tough waitressing job during the day. I wasn't eating enough calories to put on weight, but my weight certainly skyrocketed over those months. As I moved on to a different school this fall, my weight continued to climb despite my efforts at the gym, on the yoga mat, and on my rollerblades. What was I doing wrong?
I wasn't doing anything wrong, actually. I believe that my body was so exhausted from stress, overexercising and possibly eating too many sweets that it built up its cortisol reserves, a chemical in our bodies directly related to weight gain. It shoots up when we're really stressed out, and I've definitely been terribly stressed out this fall.
I'm proud to say that my scale here is back to where I saw it at the beginning of September, and my measurements seem to be decreasing slowly. I would never have imagined that the key to weight loss would be to stop exercising and just maintain a healthy diet without worrying about calories. Granted, every case is different, and at one point, I had to go to the gym if I wanted to lose weight. I will probably have to return to it eventually once my weight settles down, but at least now I think I have some answers about why my weight was mysteriously shooting up week after week.
So, that's my update for now. I hope this gives some people more insight into their own weight problems, and I'll be posting weekly updates to let you all know how it's going. Thanks to everyone who gave me encouragement. I hope I can do the same for you.
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