Recovered anorexic, now bingeing - considering weight loss, advice/support please?

I'm sixteen, recently joined this site, have an issue, and would appreciate help and advice - the dilemma and some background information is provided below. 

A couple of years ago, at age thirteen, I was severely anorexic, but successfully recovered, assisted by a paediatrician, nutritionist and therapist.  I achieved the weight my health professionals recommended - a relatively low weight, yet extremely healthy considering my age, bone structure, genetics, and the fact that it was identical to my pre-anorexia BMI.  I successfully maintained that weight for around a year, existing almost completely free of disordered thoughts and displaying a healthy relationship with food.  However, this year, coinciding with increased study pressure, I've encountered a new problem - BINGE EATING.  This is obviously extremely unanticipated and undesirable, and I typically consume around 6000 calories nowadays, consisting mainly of evening binges.  It's also caused excessive weight gain, and I’m now exactly double my previous anorexic weight.  [I've also grown a couple of inches, but certainly not to account for the tremendous weight expansion].  I have gained outrageous quantities of weight in the past year, and I'm now significantly over the weight recommended by my paediatrician/nutritionist.  It's still a relatively low weight, but significantly higher than even my pre-ED BMI, when I was extremely healthy.  I measured my body fat %, and it's also extremely high, in the overweight category, whereas it used to be drastically underweight.  I am shocked by the dramatic change, and I recognise my new eating patterns and weight/body fat are extremely unhealthy and unsustainable, thus I am keen to redeem the situation.  Coming from an anorexic background, I am mindful of not overdoing it, yet I definitely want to aim for health.  I intend to eliminate the binges and consume more appropriate caloric amounts - the computer recommended 1800, thus I think I’ll aspire for that.  I also intend to drop a few kilos, not to become underweight again, but simply to restore health and return to the BMI my paediatrician recommended, i.e. my pre-ED natural set point, a much healthier weight for me, compared to this current elevated one. 

I basically want advice about whether my intentions are advisable, [I am mindful of appropriate cautions considering the anorexic background, and I plan not to take my intentions to extremes].  I would love recommendations, reassurances, anything essentially.  Particularly, can anyone relate to the formerly-anorexic-now-binger issue? [I DESPERATELY want someone to talk to, since this issue's really troubling me, I'd love to speak with anyone who can understand!!!] I am committed to changing - my current lifestyle is intensely unhealthy, 6000 calories [mainly sugary/fatty snacks] and minimal exercise.  The high body fat and excessive weight gain also distresses me.  I'm typically an extremely dedicated person and can achieve most intentions I put my mind to, so the main issue is constructing a plan AND discovering a way to kick the binge habit.  Obviously I won't attempt anything drastic, I'm beginning with simple goals - gradually lowering my caloric intake, hopefully ultimately aiming for around 1800.  Yesterday my plan began, and binges were only minor, happily, so I only ate around 2850 calories in total, sounds a lot, but it’s much less than I'm used to - so it's an improvement!!

Apologies for rambling, and thanks for reading.  I'd REALLY appreciate any feedback - either about the bingeing-after-anorexia issue, the unhealthy lifestyle, or the intended weight loss.  Also, do you think 1800 cal and light/moderate exercise is a reliable goal?  Would that actually produce results [weight loss - around 9kg], or should I lower the food and increase the exercise?  Obviously I'd progress towards that gradually, since I've got to overcome the bingeing first, but I'd love some suggestion of an appropriate diet plan!  Thanks so much.....and PLEASE reply!!!!!

Given your history of ED I think you need to be extremely careful with your weight loss efforts. Bear in mind that your new goal weight is probably going to be heavier than before as you are older.  A healthy 13 year old and a healthy 15 year old can be on the lighter end of the BMI scale at a weight which would be worrisome for an adult.  A BMI of 20 is often the recovered minimum recommended for those recovering/recovered from an ED.

Have you discussed your binging with a counselor to see if you can recognize the underlying causes?  Have you checked with a nutritionist to make sure that your diet is balanced and not missing something?  Has your doctor checked your thyroid and run other tests that might account for the weight gain?  Are you sure that you're not pregnant?

I think that eliminating the binging would be the first step, then looking at your eating habits to go with 80-90% healthy.  Do you have any control over the grocery shopping to avoid the junk food?

2850 is not an unheard of amount for a growing teenager, especially if you add in some exercise even mild walking. 1800 is my sedentary maintenance and I'm 35 years old and 5'5", on days when I get serious exercise I do sometimes have to eat 3,000 calories.

Thanks for your prompt reply, I definitely am mindful of the precautions - e.g. my polarised thought processes and extreme dedication/focus, which sometimes becomes excessive.  I agree, my new goal weight should certainly be slightly higher nowadays, yet according to my health professionals, still low.  Prior to my eating disorder, my BMI never exceeded 16 [due to age, extremely fine bone structure & minimal musculature, genetics], yet I was healthy and flourishing, eating abundantly.  My paediatrician recommended maintaining at around 16, taking into account my current age and the fact I should thus aim for the higher end of my former BMIs.  I successfully reached that weight, then maintained it for a year [eating around 3000 cal daily to maintain, exercising lightly, no disordered behaviours/thoughts whatsoever] ---- everything became corrupted through the current binge issue [I typically have 6000cal, not 2850, that was my idea of reformation, lol].  I definitely do intend to eliminate the bingeing [I have a sound understanding of the underlying binge-inducing factors, e.g. study stress].  I'm also absolutely certain I can't possibly be pregnant,  I'm only 16, and the most I've ever done with guys is play tennis/monopoly, haha.  I've told a therapist, but not a doctor, about the weight gain - but I think it's mainly due to the bingeing, since 6000cal is my typical daily amount, but sometimes it can reach 12000 or more, which is obviously a significant excess.  So that's what's causing the weight gain - obviously I needed to gain a huge amount of weight from anorexia [I was drastically underweight, BMI 10.8 at the lowest, with dangerous heart rate, blood pressure etc, though obviously that BMI wasn't quite so bad for a 13y.o. as an adult, esp. considering my bone structure/original weight], and I'm extremely glad I recovered, I would definitely dread to return to that state again, it's just that it's devastating how yesterday I weighed myself for the first time in ages and discovered my weight's precisely TWICE my anorexic weight [oh golly gosh], hence prompting the I-needa-stop-bingeing-and-reform-lifestyle mentality.  Also the fact my body fat's so high indicates I should probably lose a bit of weight, just to return to a healthier weight.  To return to the paediatrician's recommendation, I'd need to lose 9kg, so I may not go that far, but at least a few would be important to recover my body fat % from out of the overweight category and into the healthy range, thus minimising my risk of diabetes/heart disease and other related perils.

You are 5'6 and only 111 lbs and yet you want to lose over 20 pounds more?!?! I don't care how small your bone structure is or what your doctor says...a BMI of 16 is in not healthy in any way.  The reason you are binging is because your body needs the food because you are GROWING. You can't determine your own set point...your body will do it for you. It sounds like you're trying really hard to justify your behaviors and if you aren't already, you should still be seeing a nutritionist and therapist because it sounds like the ED is starting to take control again. Just my 2 cents.

Original Post by rose_intense:

Weight:  111 lb

Height: 5'6

Gender: Female

Age: 16 [born feb 1993]

Frame: small/narrow

Please reply, I'd love a twin!!

You posted this recently.  At your age and height you are at the lowest healthy weight.  This is a BMI of 18 which according to kidsnutrition.org is healthy if you haven't dieted to get there.  Your body needs anywhere from 1740-2900 calories per day depending on your exercise levels.

If you truly think that you need to lose weight it's time for you to consult with your therapist immediately.

Your body is going through a developing stage and it needs sufficient calories.  Perhaps not 6000-8000 per day, although if you're not gaining weight with that intake you probably have a parasite or you have not recovered physically from your ED.

Okie-dokies, thanks guys, maybe I need to rethink this a bit - I guess I do need to acknowledge I'm exploring dangerous territory here.   To clarify, I don't believe I'm fat, I'm basically concerned primarily about the bingeing and its effects, and in addition, the fact my body fat % is high, which entails a multitude of physical perils - heart disease, diabetes, etc [there's a family history of heart problems too, which intensifies my concern].  I suppose, I definitely don't want to engage in ED behaviours again, but nor do I want to continue bingeing and expanding unstoppably.  I would rather have a healthy approach to food - perhaps therefore I should aim for 2000-3000 cal daily somewhere in that range being more healthy, rather than 1800 or 6000-8000, neither of which are appropriate goals?  I think I'll aim for that then, maybe. There's just three main issues still bothering me.

Firstly, the fact my doctors/nutritionists actually recommended around 93lbs, and also the fact that my original weight before anorexia [not attained through dieting; I used to eat like 16 weatbix for breakfast each morning and constant snacks, lol] was 86lbs at the highest [and only a couple inches shorter approx] - considering my body composition [narrow bones/minimal musculature] and also genetics [relatives all underweight yet hearty appetites], that seemed to be a healthy weight for me then. [Bearing in mind, BMI criteria differ for children, like according to wiifit, several months ago with BMI 16.4 I was evidently in the healthy range, and that's been confirmed by all my doctors/paediatricians/specialists]. 

Secondly, my body fat percentage falling into the overweight category.  I definitely want to avoid the underweight category again, but I'd rather be in the healthy range.

Thirdly, the fact my weight stabilised at approx BMI 16.5 [complies with medical recommendations, actually exceeding it slightly even, which is appropriate considering developing bodies naturally should have a higher BMI], and yet, the bingeing/rapid gain is only recent.  That's problematic in itself, since I'm typically eating numerous packets cookies/chips each night, often consuming entire cakes in a sitting, other times 12 chocolate bars at once, etc.  It's destructive from a health viewpoint. It's also quite drastic to have gained so much so rapidly and thus, I'm concerned that the weight gain will continue interminably, which seems a possibility if I can't reduce the bingeing. 

I understand your concerns though, I'm just worried mainly about the bingeing issue and ceaseless expansion.  I think I'll take it easy and aim for 2000-3000 cal daily, rather than doing anything drastic.  Eliminating the binges is first priority, I guess.l

I'm glad you're rethinking this.

The recommendation is from a year or two ago?  It's time for a new consultation.  If you haven't grown at all in the vertical direction I would still expect some internal development to be taking place.  This a natural and healthy part of your body maturing.

I can understand the high body fat percentage, but the solution is not weight loss.  Take up weight lifting to increase your lean muscle mass.  Just a few more pounds of muscle will completely alter your percentages.

As far as binging goes, do not make up for it.  It's done, leave it be and do your next day eating normally, perhaps aiming for better nutrition.

Thanks again, yes I suppose thats's right.  I also assume my ideal BMI probably has increased - it couldnt be 16 anymore, since I as my body develops, my hip bones and overall skeletal system may broaden, etc, thus making it higher [same concept as how the ideal BMI range increases with age, and I checked for my age, and 16.4 is the minimum, so I doubt I'll aim for my paediatrician's recommendation anymore, since it was from the end of last year and probably declining in validity].  Maybe I'll consider exercise rather than dieting, in terms of increasing muscle and making my body fat percentage healthier.  It is challenging moving on from the bingeing though, since the habits are becoming quite firmly engrained. 

Also weight bearing exercise has the side benefit of increasing your bone density.  This time in your life is when you get the best return for your efforts.

Starting planning your calorie intake around maintenance and see if you can keep those foods you go wild on away.  Take a handy snack with you wherever you go so if you're hungry you can munch on that.

do you not realise that you will never be the pre- ed weight again naturally. a 13 year olds body is different to a 16 year old's body. the difference is that of a child versus that of a woman.

i think you should stop striving for something which is both impossible and a health hazard. many of us can tell you stories of being able to demolish an easy 3500-4000 cals as active 13 year olds and it having no effect on our weight. fat cells are laid down in women in the teenage years where body fat increases from maybe 14% to anywhere up to 30% in a healthy young woman. it may well be that your skinny phase is over and you are becomming a normal woman.... like everyone else

Hey there,

I too have had pretty much the same problem. I underate for year...from the age of 14 to about 20 (not constantly, just fluctuating every 6 months or so from underweight to barely healthy). Suddenly, at the age of 20 stress from my then-boyfriend started me to binge eat. I became a healthy, solid weight. But of course, I hated it and wanted to  be smaller.And consuming 3,000 calories in under2 hours was doing awful things to my digestive system.

I'll warn you, it is so easy to relapse. I am just trying to have a moderate, healthy approach to food. And it is certainly not easy. Definitely talk to a doctor, and have a plan for how much you need to lose to be healthy, and make a plan to stop there -- go no further. With people watching you, and helping, hopefully you will be able to stop before sliding too far in the other direction.

I hope all goes well! And if you have any questions, anything to get off your chest do send me a message.

definately go see the doctor.  Try to get in the habit of eating nourishing foods and if you are worried about you fat, eat more and exercise more.  Putting on a few pounds of muscle but remaing the same weight is the way to resolve the body fat perentage thing.  Trying to "lose weight" is probably a bad idea.  I wish you so much luck and a long healthy life.  Take care of and cherish yourself.  :)

smwhipple, thanks, I shall definitely consider weight bearing exercise, sounds a great idea since I can't imagine anorexia had a brilliant effect on my bone density.  I think I will plan my caloric intake around maintenancem like aim for 2000-3000 then see what my body naturally does.

fidget84 yeah, a 16 year old body should differ from a 13yo, but the doctors recommendations were from the end of last year, when I was 15yo verging on 16yo....and he DID recommend higher than my 13yo weight, since I was previously a BMI of 10.8 [and around BMI14-15 beforehand]........to calculate the recommended amount, he viewed my growth charts and extrapolated the quantity, keeping it in the same PERCENTILE relative to individuals my age. I'm also not particularly "womanly", I can assure you - I'm a late developer, and my weight distributes weirdly, avoiding hips/etc and instead focussing on my stomach, where a huge amount of the collosal weight gain has accumulated, and I've never measured my stomach until yesterday, when it seemed exceptionally large, and it was 35.5"...which is a fair bit larger than my hips, so yes, I'm disproportioned, which I've also heard is a significant health hazard, promoting heart disease,etc...I recently had relatives undergoing heart surgery and an intense family history of heart disease, thus my concern about the high body fat percentage and disproportionate weight gain, both of which are known factors for heart disease. 

tribbeal Thanks for your support, and I'm sorry to hear you've struggled with similar issues.  Thanks also for the warning - I would like to avoid relapse.  Even if I don't need to lose much weight, curbing the bingeing habit is definitely essential, since I'm certain it's causing havoc for my body - digestively as you mention, and also in terms of my sugar levels, which are appaling - a couple of weeks ago I had an incident where I had a massive sugar binge [entire cakes, entire packets of cookies, right after the other, sugar straight from the packet, all washed down with cordial - gross and attrocious, i realise] then afterwards I was shaky and spinning and jerking weirdly...it was bizarre and I freaked out then switched mainly to fatty binge foods, yet still crave sugary stuff too most of the time.

nnylyma  Thanks for your advice and care, and I am considering more regular exercise, since mum watched me like a hawk whilst I was anorexic and any exercise whatsoever has essentially been banned in the couple of years since then...but I think she's loosening up a bit now hopefully. 

For a 16 year old you spell/speak very well! Oh my, you have the language of a college student!

Sorry for going off topic, I hope everything works out for you. You are a smart girl, I can tell, so I know you'll be successful.

I would agree with most people on this forum- 1800 sounds WAY too low for so many reasons. 3000 or so sounds a lot better. If you have any control over what goes into your house, could you try getting healthier foods, and also things high in protein? (Sorry if anyone's already said this, I just skimmed through quickly.) You said you eat a lot of fatty and sugary foods, so maybe things like fruit (more volume) and fat free or low fat yogurt and cottage cheese (lots of protein) would keep you more satisfied. It's very common to binge on carbs if you're not getting enough protein. Also you said how many calories you've been getting in a day, but how many of those come from earlier in the day? If you don't get enough early on you're just asking for a binge, but I understand it's probably more complicated than that. I'm also a recovering anorexic who struggles with binges. Gum helps me a lot, as does locking myself up in my room with a really enthralling book. Also my parents have a mini-fridge and pantry-like area in their room so when I'm at my worst I sometimes put my "binge" foods in there before they go to bed so I can't eat them in the middle of the night. It's not to prevent weight gain, which I don't think you should be doing either, but to promote a healhty lifestyle and healthy eating habits. Good luck!

Blueberry_lips  Thanks so much, but I'm actually still bingeing, and currently consuming approx. 9000 calories daily...which is ridiculous!!  However, I just weighed myself and discovered I'm 50.4kg, which is insanely highy considering I used to be like half that at a similar height and my body fat percentage is sky-high, yet it seems rather weird that I'm eating all these calories yet not gaining...In fact, I weighed myself a month ago and I was 51kg, so I've lost slightly...?  (Could just be fluctuations, but still, how can I be eating so much yet not expanding exponentially)  It's weird, I'm freaking out.  That's what worries me about restricting my intake to 3000, that would be a 6000 cal deficit per day, so would I lose heaps of weight or something...??!  wtf

Thanks for all your suggestions and reassurances, I'm definitely considering eliminating some of the fatty foods....but I mean, in the past few months, I've been bingeing everyday except several days when I only had 2500-3000 or so [and I'm hoping today might be one of them, in the name of binge avoidance]....yet when I do that, I become soooo fatigued and weak and feel like I'm verging on fainting?!  It's freaking me outtttt, I've been physically recovered for around a year, so surely I can still be this hypermetabolic or metabolically screwed up...It's weird.

I'm also worried about ceasing the bingeing, lest I lose tonnes of weight.

Please can someone respond?

Has anyone got any advice about my last question, i.e. how can I feasibly overcome the bingeing issue without losing weight to a dangerous extent again??? It's kinda freaking me out, since obviously I want to stop bingeing [I'm eating lollies/chocolate/chips nonstop, which is reallllllllly appaling] yet at the same time, my parents would freak if I lost weight, so I'd rather avoid that.  I think the last time mum weighed me was ages ago (43kg) and she doesnt know my current weight, but if I sunk below that, she might worry?  Hence I want to know how to stop bingeing without plunging drastically below that.  I'd like to keep my weight at least above that, yet I do want to stop bingeing, so that I can be healhtier.

Sorry if this is growing annoying, but I'm sort of freaking out here.  Thanks so much.

I seriously cant believe you. You cannot be fat at 50 kg, you just cant. You dont need to lose weight, just try to stop the binging and eat enough.

I, too, havo gone from BMi 17 to 23 in 4 months now, due to binging. I was hospitalized at BMI 17.

You don't need to binge to maintain a healthy weight.

You just need to work out what your maintenance intake is approximately, and eat approximately that amount every day. It doesn't need to be exact.

Binges usually happen because you're undereating at other times. Then you get too hungry and binge. So what I suggest is that you eat more consistently throughout the day. A decent breakfast, lunch and dinner with a snack a couple of hours after each meal should keep you going and avoid the urge to binge.

If you find yourself losing weight, simply eat more (or more calorie dense foods) at each meal and snack.

Don't restrict your favourite foods, otherwise you will crave them.

And don't diet: 1) you don't need to lose weight, and b) it promotes binging behaviour.

Get bloodwork done.

You're nowhere near overweight, barely at a healthy weight. You're bingeing because you're body is starving from calories. The fact that you're eating 9000 calories a day, and (over a month) have maintained weight means that 9000 is probably your maintainence. That, however, is pretty alarming, as even for a recovered anorexic, is pretty high for maintainence. I'd see a doctor to make sure your hormones (namely, thyroid) are in check.

You're faint and fatigued at 3000 calories because that would be a weight loss amount for you.

Where did you get your bf% measured? If it's online, it's likely very inaccurate. DEXA scans are considered the most reliable way of meausuring body fat. As an example, I used one bf% calculator and got 33% bf, which is considered obese. I'm barely at the 18.5 BMI and have a defined abs. Many size 0's are too big for me. I'm NOWHERE NEAR obese, yet the calculator says I have 33% bf. 

Thanks guys for the prompt replies.

Ieevee  That’s precisely the problem, I literally cannot stop the bingeing...  I’ve tried that on several days [reducing my intake to 3000cal], yet I ended up feeling faint and dizzy as I mentioned.  Yah, I’ve gone from BMI 10.4 to 18 in a year or more, so that’s not as bad as your 4 months, but it’s still kinda unsettling.  I was never hospitalised, mainly because where I live, treatment options are way less extensive than in America....people don’t generally get hospitalised unless they’re literally having a heart attack, and even then, it’s not for ongoing support [i.e. there’s not residential or anything].  Also, my doctor was totally clueless and I was extremely manipulative and deceptive...like I drank obscene amounts of water prior to appointments.  He was also totally naive and informed me that the best way to overcome anorexia was to eat tonnes of tomatoes (because he heard I like tomatoes).  I obviously should have been hospitalised, but he was reaallllly incompetent, and frankly, I didn’t complain.  I realise I’m not fat per se at 50kg, but it’s still significantly larger than I’ve ever been or ever felt comfortable...  It’s also disquieting that I’ve reached this weight through bingeing.  I’m only 16 years old as well, so whilst 50kg may be slim for an adult, it’s not really for some teenagers...I’m actually one of the heaviest girls in my friendship group...my best friend is like 37kg at my height, lol, but then again, I do have extremely skinny friends.

Meryl Umm, actually, i think I evidently do need to binge to maintain a healthy weight...otherwise, how do you explain how I’ve consumed 9000cal each day to maintain?  On the days I eliminated bingeing, I ate 3000cal yet felt so weak and couldn’t function properly.  Based on these observations, my maintenance rate is currently 9000 [which sounds obscene] so how can I possibly consume this without bingeing?  It’s literally not feasible.  I do try to eat more consistently during the day, but the binges happen mainly at night, when I can sometimes have 5000-6000cal.  I do already have snacks sometimes more than once every two hours.  I also have decent meals (several bowls of cereal for breakfast, plus fruit/yoghurt, followed by muffins or random snacks) and for lunch, generally two sandwiches, a muffin, several muesli bars, fruit and chocolate/cake.  I don’t think that’s undereating.   Yah, I guess I won’t diet, but the main issue is how to eliminate bingeing, without it proving physically detrimental. 

Tryatri  Thanks for replying.  What blood work would you recommend?  What would it attempt to search for?  Yes, I have heard recovered anorexics can be hypermetabolic for quite a long time, but this sounds really extreme...however not unheard of.  Well, according to adult charts I’m just at a healthy weight, according to child/adolescent charts (most applicable to me), I’m well and truly at a healthy weight and have been for a while, and according to my paediatricians recommendations (based on previous size, body composition, age, etc) I’m actually slightly overweight, Lol.  I’m not too concerned about that though, my main concern is basically how to stop bingeing, without it harming my body.  I want to stop bingeing, because it’s expensive, wastes time, makes me physically uncomfortable, distresses my mum, and is very unhealthy as I overload my body with fat/sugar/salt.  The body fat % measurement was from a basic home weighing scales with a fat percentage function...more accurate than online ones, but I still realise nothing’s completely precise, besides that water bath thing at medical places, or DEXA scans as you say, I’m not sure what those are.  Thanks again for replying.  Maybe what I could do to start off with is reduce my intake gradually – like to 7000? And focus on having healthier calorie dense foods (i.e. nuts, lentils, grains and stuff) as opposed to so much chips/lollies.  Anyone have any calorie dense healthy foods they can recommend?  Oh, and I also wanted to add...with the current 9000cal, well previously, I was actually gaining on that [which is how I’m now so much heavier than before], and it’s only recently [past month] that I’ve stabilised on that amount...it’s weird...like has my metabolism randomly soared or something, or have I literally lost the capacity to gain weight, or has all the bingeing somehow exacerbated the hypermetabolism?  I’m not sure.