a recovering anorexic hoping to gain support through the "support" forum.

im 5ft 9 and weigh verryy little;;; a bmi of below 14. no matter how sad this sounds however this is an improvement after a month of refeeding from anorexia~ ive been eating around 2500 cals a day and gaining...

but these days ive stopped gaining and need to up my calories...hate to make excuses but these days im just not seeing the point~ maybe im just having a hard week but i am having trouble seeing the light only achievable through recovery from this horrible disease...  

please help; this is the "support" forum, right?     so please dont judge me as a weak individual; im just a patient trying to recover needing advice and tips on overcoming this sickness~  

thank you.

I am very much the same as you.

As much as I want to recover, I just seem to lack strength & positive state of mind.

As for upping calories, I am still struggling to get past 1400 :( I want to do it more than anything but I just lack strength as I said.

I just want to let you know, that by you doing this, you are improving your life! I know without IP, I wouldnt be here, typing this now, I would be in a box underground. (blunt truth, I was told). Having an ED is like a curse, but we must fight, we were put on this earth to live, and we only get one shot at it.

I know you have the strength to up your cals, because you saw that you needed to at the beginning so now you must look back & think about what made you want to recover & stick with it! (I really must listen to my own advice)

Best of luck babe, You have my support all the way xo

Why not go back to whoever it is that's supervising your recovery/refeeding in real life and explain how you feel?  It's pretty normal for anyone trying to radically change their behaviour and combat a mental illness to have low-points, question their motivation & go through difficult patches...  I expect they've come across the situation many times and will have a lot of practical suggestions how to overcome it.  Medically, they need to know if you're back-sliding as they may have to readmit you for your own safety.

And how about roping in a friend or relative to be your buddy?  Online support can only go so far and there's nothing quite like having a real-life person to talk to when times are tough who can encourage you to keep going.

Because that's all it's about really.... keeping going, finding a routine, developing better habits.  The longer you can carry on the less of an effort it becomes and the more sense it all makes.

I agree, you need to focus on real-life support more than forums at this point.

Remember that no-one else can fix you. No-one else can make you better; the only one who can fix you is you. You can put off recovery for years; put your whole life on hold while time slips by. But at the end of the day, you have to recover at some stage for life to really be worth living. Everyone with anorexia has to face recovery at some stage - it will always be waiting for you! Better sooner than later so that you can get on with a life that is full of health, love, happiness and energy.

No sufferer of anorexia lacks strength. It does take a lot of strength to recover, but we all have it inside us. If you think of yourself as weak, you'll feel weak. So think strong and celebrate small victories.

nothing through a forum will help you.

you need to contact your doctor or hospital/ treatment team; my advice would be to personally request Inpatient treatment.  A bmi below 16 and your close to death, at less that 14 you should be receiving 24hr care. please take your life seriously and dont look for the easy option, go into intreatment and let them physically refeed you if necessary. you dont seem able to do this on your own.

PLEASE KEEP GAINING! Your body isn't healthy, and in turn your BRAIN isn't healthy right now, so your thoughts are irrational. Once you get to a healthier weight, your mind will clear. I swear! I am recovering from an ED, and yes I still have discouraging thoughts sometimes, but not NEARLY as much as when I was severely malnourished. 

But please talk to someone. IN PERSON. It really really helps, believe me!

sometimes (most of the time, in my case) in recovery, it's very hard to "see the point" or "the light" or really to feel motivated at all.  you just kind of have to decide that you're gonna frikkin do it, whether you like it or not, in any given moment. you have to pour yourself that stupid bowl of cheerios when you've woken up in the morning and feel like you wish you hadn't. you have to decide youre moving on, and that's that.

so, my advice to you is: stop looking for "the light" or the inspiration to get well. just decide you're going to get well, do what you have to do, and the light will come.

and please be medically supervised, because it would really suck if you dropped dead when you're finally making progress.

get help, keep going and be strong.

<3