recovering from BED - new here!!

Hey guys!

I'm Sonya and I'm new here.

I'm 5 ft. 8 inches and am 124 pounds.  This site says I am underweight but I think I am just right. 

Right now I am suffering from severe BED and I'm afraid to gain.  Usually in the morning I start off fine, but by 2 pm have eaten over 2,000 calories, much of this in chocolate.  I can't seem to stop myself.  I am always craving.

I walk around a lot, but do not go to the gym or anything.

I want to stop binging cold turkey...RIGHT NOW, but I don't know how.  I've tried writing everything down that I eat but it doesn't seem to help...

I think I am also suffering from depression....I can't stop crying right now...pleeeaaaase help me!!

Hi sonya!  I myself have been struggling with binging lately and have not found any real solutions...but don't give up!!  It sounds like maybe you should see a doctor, especially if you think you are depressed 

Okay so at age 13 thats when my eating disorder started.  Before I was bingeing and was 168 pounds then I went on to starvation went to 121 pounds decided i would binge hardcore since I lost all the weight went up to 140 was depressed andlooked like a bloated ballon and went down to 98 pounds.  Now finally eating normally and maintaining at 105 so far for 1 month straight.  Im proud and ill never go back to bingeing this is what you need to do:

Okay so basically when youre about to have a big bar of chocolate walk or RUN to the trash outside and literally throw it away it works but you have to have the will for it.  Have organized meals with organized times but eat when you are really hungry actually listen to your mind stomache everything you CAN have junk food I do just a little bit though not bagfuls  =)  And the one last thing that keeps me away from bingeing is thinking that ill end up like a fatty again and im really scared of that.  So just reember you binge you get used to it you get fat you starve basically....You mess up your head and your life and im serious. Shitloads serious.  Fix it now before its beyond your control. 

I would like to go see a doctor...but I'm so ashamed of what I'm doing to myself - I don't want anyone to know.

thebledx3, that sounds so scary to me.  Thank you for sharing what happened to you.  I hate to say it sounds awful what you did to yourself, but it does, and I don't want to fall into that trap as well.

do you have any first steps for me?  all I think about all the time is food, so I eat it to try to get my mind off it...and then it gets worse.  how do I fix that?

I have the same problem myself, however much I try to deny it.  What has helped me, whenever I do it, is logging every single morsel I eat on CC and making sure it's accurate.   I find that I don't want to see that number go over 1,300.  On binge days I don't log...so I make sure I log every day now and I haven't binged in 3 days (which is actually very good for me!)

I used to freak out when my calories went above 1600...but now I just don't care for some reason...my mind is numb to the fact that I'm eating 3,000 a day :-(

Since you've said you're depressed the BED is most likely linked to that.  It is just an expression of the depression.  You can try to forget about the food but the real problem is still there so it comes back later on even worse.  I did this a few months back and put on a ton of weight.  I tried all the tricks to avoid binge eating but really it stopped when I talked to someone about being depressed.  I felt like I couldn't fix the problem until I found out what was the REAL cause and now it isn't a problem at all anymore...but please talk with someone about the depression.  If you fix the BED without fixing the cause you're really likely to find a new unhealthy habit to replace it.  There's light at the end if the tunnel...you can do it and we're all here for each other!

I think I know why I am depressed I think - it is because my family moved away but I stayed in England to finish university.  I miss them and my old life so much.  I don't have many friends here anymore and I am kind of lonely

HEY,

I AM IN INTENSE THERAPY RIGHT NOW. i WANT YOU TO NOW THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE. i ALWAYS THOUGHT I WAS ALONE UNTILL I CAME TO THIS SIGHT AND THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE STRUGGLING FROM THE SAME THING. lET ME TELL YOU IT IS NOT THE BINGING IT IS YOUR FEELINGS. ALLTOUGH IT IS COMPLETELY DRAINING YOU CONSTANTLY HAVE TO BE IN TOUCH WITH YOUR FEELINGS AND REALIZE THAT EVERYTHING YOU EAT IS CONNECTED TO THE WAY YOU FEEL. DEEL WITH YOU FEELINGS AND LEAN ON PEOPLE THAT CARE ABOUT YOU. I KEEP A DIARY AND WHEN IM FEELING LOUSY I WRITE IN IT AND TALK TO MY COWORKERS AND TELL THEM IM FELING LOUSY. BINGING IS LIKE PICKING UP A DRINK JUST LIKE AN ALCOHOLIC WOULD AND YOU HAVE TO FIGHT IT. YOU MOST LIKELY NEED TO BE A SERIOUS THERAPY.

my dear, we're all here to help you and I hope you get better....let us know about your progress :-)

i was normal until a few months after age 13 i became anorexic and went down to 80 pounds, my mom and my doctor made me eat (no psych help tho) and i gained 50 pounds (130) and i hated myself there. but i had no learning of good eating habits becasue when i gained all they did was force feed me, so i went through so many cycles of bingeing and purging (not throwing up but thru laxatives, diet pills, and excessive exercsing) bingeing usually to 3500 calories and then maybe eating 300-800 the next day. sometimes i would balloon up to 135 and i got all the way down to 115 before i went back up to 130. now i am 120, ppl tell me i look good. i want to get down to 115 (-5 Lbs) but i am starting to binge/purge again and i dont want to go back up! but i dont know any healthy eating habits that i can install into myself becasue i wont stop my binge/purge cycle until i get down to 115 again and i just dont know what to do. i o.d on diet pills whenever i binge too, i am going to die before i hit age 21 i feel. not to mention i suffer from severe low self esteem and depression.

word of advice?

do not count calories.

i didn't count calories and lost weight.

btw i have bed too.

I am just looking around and saw this thread...sorry to ask but what is BED?

95, why do you come to calorie-count.com to tell everyone not to count calories? You're not helping anyone.

working2recover, don't be ashamed to go to a doctor. They've seen it all, and they will not judge you any more than we do. If you were doing something so unimaginable and horrific, there would not be a name for it.

foxstar asks:
sorry to ask but what is BED?

BED - short for Binge Eating Disorder.  For those suffering from it (I am one), here are 2 forum threads that might be of interest to you:

forum 1
forum 2

Hope they help.

I know that it's frightening and embarrassing to you, but I really encourage you to see a doctor.  Depression is a serious thing.  I have been there . . . I am there.  It's a hard fight, but it's worth it.  Try to recognize that the unwillingness to seek help is a part of the disease.  It is not you, the smart, capable person, deciding not to go to the doctor, it is a symptom of your depression that is overriding your better judgment.  Don't let it. 

You're here because you recognize that you are not healthy right now, regardless of your weight.  I think you probably know, in your heart, that you're not going to be able to stop bingeing until you deal with your depression head-on.  This disease makes you feel worthless, like you're not capable of anything -- but you ARE capable of overcoming BED.  You just might need a little help to do it.

See your doctor.  Get therapy and/or medication.  And live your life like you deserve to.  Good luck.

 http://www.edreferral.com/