From recovery to binging

Hey, im somewhat of a recoverying anorexic and I have been seeing doctors since September of this year.  After weeks of consistent losing with them prompting threats of in-patient during the holidays and more involvement of parents, having them sign off EVERY piece of food I put in my mouth to a lot my daily calories I finally started to gain some weight. 

However, ever since Thanksgiving I have been binging badly.  Because of the weight gain my parents were not required to monitor my intake and left with all the leftover holiday food one night I dived in constantly telling myself "well i have to gain weight anyhow".  Ever since then though I have been binging consistently.  Every night to every other night I have been binging once my parents go to sleep.  During the week I get barely any sleep because of staying up so late eating and even though my doctors are aware they dont really care all that much because they like seeing my weight go up 2-3 lbs a week and pretty much constantly tell me "o, well work on it later.  Itll stop once you get to your goal weight" 

Now, since its the Holiday and Ive been out of school and therefore naturally staying up later I keep binging.  Every single night consuming cookie dough to ice cream to canned frosting to waffles and bread and cheese.  Ive tried so many things, my dietician has told me to try to find a trigger or just something but nothing seems to work and I have no clue as to what to do.  I hate this binging and I hate gaining weight so damn quickly and Im so scared that I wont ever be able to stop.  I just cant keep doing this anymore every single night.  Its too much and its becoming a habit that I fear is starting to stick.  Have no clue as to what to do, so much appreciation for any helpful response and support out there.

It's alright hun, it's a natural response for the body to "robotically" eat food after being deprived for so long. But you are right to be concerned, as it could continue after you've reached your goal weight.

Try eating more earlier in the day. Have a large breakfast. If you're not used to having a large breakfast, try slowly increasing it each day - you can train your body to be hungrier in the morning. A heavy breakfast not only wakes your body and metabolism, but it keeps you from getting as hungry later in the day.

Also, don't stay up late. If I stay up past eleven, I start to get hungry, so I make sure to go to bed before that happens. If you find it difficult to go to bed earlier, try doing some light exercise, lifting weights, or just being more active during the day to make you tired by evening.

If you have any more questions or anything, feel free to message me - I'm recovering too. :) Good luck!

1/3 or former anorexics relapse, 1/3 of former anorexics recover completely and 1/3 of former anorexics become binge eaters and develop COE, bulimia and other EDs associated with over eating. That is what my therapist told me on my first recovery session and it scared the living hell out of me! From that moment on I was determined that if I had to eat and recover, I wasn't going to become fat and bulimic, I was actually really frightened of that happened and thus, I did the right routines, went to my sessions and my weight maintained at a healthy level. All I can say is see someone and tell them what is going on. It isn't healthy to be binging, although how many calories are we talking, because a binge isn't 2000 calories. A binge is something that is over your highest maintainace level by a lot. I had to eat 2500 calories a day when I first started gaining, gradually building up from nothing, to 500, to 800, to 1000 etc. That meant I was having about 500 calories too many a day (although it wasn't too many as I had to gain weight), which was about 1lb of weight a week. If you are talking eating 3000-4000 calories a day then yes, maybe you are developing a problem. That will cause rapid weight gain and you will become depressed and probably end up eating even more. Please consider getting help. It is the body's natural response to eat lots, yes, but I found once I had been eating normally, that's to say 2000-2500 calories a day in regular healthy meals, I had no urge to binge or eat more. And I made sure I had healthy food, but I didn't deny myself biscuits and chocolate etc into my calories, as otherwise I probably would have gone on a binge! I understand it is more difficult in the holidays too, I used to find that.

I've never been ana/mia, but I certainly have had times when I binged, and I gained huge amounts of weight from it - my heart really does go out to you, because the loss of control is an awful feeling, but then so it the obsessive control of ana/mia.

I wish all of us could be there with you to give you moral support in person, because I did all my binging alone late at night, too.  It's strangely addictive.  I would make myself like a HUGE plate of nachos with tons of cheese, have a 6-pack of beer with that and top it of with a big piece of cake or a whole bunch of cookies.  It wasn't every night, but it was every weekend night, and along with unhealthy/too big meals in the daytime, it was enough to make me 100 lbs overweight.

There has to be a happy medium between eating next to nothing and eating tons of junk.  My prayers are with you that you'll find your way there.

I just dont understand it and I feel that I tried so many things to relieve it.  My dietician has suggested journaling which has helped a little and then just not restricting any foods at all during the day and just go ahead and eat them if I want them, such as bread and desserts and cheese that i formerly restricted to having none at all.  And Ive tried and it hasnt seemed to exactly be working.  And about the binges they are usually about ~2k in addition to the      2-3k that im eating during the day.  I just dont understand it cus im never really physically hungry and I just dont know what the binge is replacing in my life in terms of feelings.  I just cant figure it out and its working on 2 months.

i am in the same boat. and i need the same help as you, please if u find it let me know :/

Original Post by alishadandrea:

i am in the same boat. and i need the same help as you, please if u find it let me know :/

This thread is years old, I think you should create a new thread to seek advice since alot of the users here are no longer using this site.

Well, apparently it's been revived now. Lol!

I used to have a huge binging problem. Every few nights I would eat whole cakes, blocks of cheese, boxes of cookies and of cereal, etc, then not eat for days after until the next binge. (I was/am anorexic, but do not binge anymore.) What helped me was eating more throughout the day, especially protein (keeps you going) and fat (satisfying). In fact, I eat more than is even recommended, not just so that I am SO full by the end of the day that I don't feel like more food, but so I know that I honestly did my best to gain weight. One of the main reasons I binged was because I knew that I had to gain weight somehow, but I could so rarely bring myself to eat that when I did I didn't want to stop. Another few suggestions: (1) chew gum at night if you have to be awake, and read a book or something in your room away from food, (2) if you live with somebody ask if you can put your most triggering food in their room for the night so you can't get to it, and (3) if you have any control over it try to keep healthier options around the house such as fruit and cottage cheese and yogurt. That helped me because on the rare occasion that I would still slip up and binge, I didn't have to feel nearly as bad about it. Hope any of this helps you!

thankssss i appreciate it. but the thing is, from binging i already gained the weight that was recommended. i gained it from binging so it came on really fast--- i just dont know how to stop it now. (the binging). its like, although i put on the recommneded weight, i dont know how to stop myself from binging so bd so many times during the night. its a really bad habit that i need to break. :/ i dont want to put on toooo much weight, and i feel like if i dont stop it soon, or now, i will put back everything i lost originally; i dont want to be back up to a higher than normal weight.. but i like ur sugguestions. i wish i didnt live at home with my fam, who enjoys snacks a LOT, because i cant hide the entire kitchen!

Original Post by rastnim:

It isn't healthy to be binging, although how many calories are we talking, because a binge isn't 2000 calories. A binge is something that is over your highest maintainace level by a lot. I had to eat 2500 calories a day when I first started gaining, gradually building up from nothing, to 500, to 800, to 1000 etc. That meant I was having about 500 calories too many a day (although it wasn't too many as I had to gain weight), which was about 1lb of weight a week. If you are talking eating 3000-4000 calories a day then yes, maybe you are developing a problem. .

 That is not true. There are no caloric or volumetric requirements for a binge. The DSM IV classifies a binge as:

1) Eating a discrete period of time (usually 2 hrs or less) definitely more than a normal person would eat during a similar time period and under similar circumstances. <---someone could restrict all day and binge at night and still be below their daily caloric needs

2) a sense of lack of control over eating during the eipsode (feeling like one cannot stop eating or control what or how much one is eating).

Sorry, I'm in grad school for counseling and I've had an eating disorder, so I just had to clarify.

Original Post by aoter:

I just dont understand it and I feel that I tried so many things to relieve it.  My dietician has suggested journaling which has helped a little and then just not restricting any foods at all during the day and just go ahead and eat them if I want them, such as bread and desserts and cheese that i formerly restricted to having none at all.  And Ive tried and it hasnt seemed to exactly be working.  And about the binges they are usually about ~2k in addition to the      2-3k that im eating during the day.  I just dont understand it cus im never really physically hungry and I just dont know what the binge is replacing in my life in terms of feelings.  I just cant figure it out and its working on 2 months.

 I'm also in a similar boat as you. I have been in recovery from anorexia for a couple years now and after coming home from inpatient treatment, I started bingeing. I've tried numerous things as well and none have really seemed to work. Since it has been going on for so long (like 3 years- although I tend to restrict some in the day and my binges aren't extremely large), I have had a lot of time to try to figure out why I am doing this. I have finally brought it down to loneliness. At the time it started, I had just come back from inpatient treatment and returned to college. My friends were different and I felt really left out and alone. That's when I started restricting from my meal plan and the bingeing started. Then it just became a cycle and a habit. I was wondering if you could go back and think of what was going on when the bingeing started. That really helped me.

I'm currently working with a nutritionist to help me with this. We're working on getting more in during the day, so I feel less of an urge to binge at night. I know you said you are eating 3000-4000 calories in the day already, but since you are gaining weight, maybe your body feels like it still needs more? I know that seems weird, but after starving our bodies, they get confused with us. Your body may think that you need to get ready for another 'starvation period' so it's causing you to get as much as possible now? These are all just ideas, so I could be totally off, but I hope it helps some.

I would reccommend seeing a nutritionist along with your doctors. They might understand that you need to gain weight a little slower for it to be healthier. I know my primary care doctor didn't even recognize my problem as anorexia. My mom took me and he basically just said, "eat more" and thought the problem was solved.

Oops just now realized aoter posted this in 2007. Oh well...maybe what I wrote will help someone else!