reinforcing good behaviour

im new to maintaining. in fact very new because the last two times i lost weight, i didn't plan for maintenance. i just dont feel like i can count calories for the rest of my days. im afraid of going back to my old ways. and my body still isn't where i would feel comfortable in a bathing suit. i mean its great and all, i know i deserve a big 'pat' on the back. people are going on how great i look, although i didn't think i looked that bad before. it's been kind of a bitter/sweet compliment.

im finally going to get 2 pairs of pants taken in so i dont look like a hobo (as my bf likes to say). i've been using large paper clips & rubber bands to hold things up, . im also going to go tan my legs as i know they look better that way. im going to stop wearing over-sized t shirts to the gym. if i had more money i go to a spa to really treat myself, but im saving up for this wedding & honeymoon in 12 weeks. as soon as i get to the states im going shopping as clothes are too expensive here.

i know im going to have to set up some reward system for myself (as i like rewards/bonuses, etc) and was just wondering other people's thoughts on this.

I think your first reward has to be new clothes!   Baggy clothes and oversized t-shirts do nothing for you and your self-esteem.  That's why you don't think you'd look nice in a swimsuit... nothing to do with reality.   Tracksuit bottoms (track pants) make even the slimmest, loveliest figure look like a sad old bag lady. :-)  You don't have to spend a fortune to make a big difference.  Charity shops in smarter parts of town are often worth a look! 

Keep counting calories for a while now that you've lost weight.  It takes about 6 months to thoroughly dispense with old eating habits and cement new ones.  Work out your maintenance calorie level and start by counting calories daily.  Then reduce it to maybe every other day or once or twice a week as a 'spot check'.  Use the time to get a good repertoire of delicious and healthy recipes under your belt and a consistent eating & exercise routine.  Work out your strategies for coping with social occasions/holidays/Christmas etc.  Weigh yourself less often as time goes on too.  If you go up by more than 3lbs, say, then go back to daily calorie counting for a while until it comes back off. 

When I lost weight 3 years ago someone told me that most successful dieters put it all back on within 18 months.  So I set myself a challenge of making that 18 months and bucking the trend!!!  Reward... a trip to a health-spa.  Ever since, good health has been its own reward.

thanks for the advice from a veteran. can't buy new clothes yet. i should've put away 10 euro for every pound i lost, just to be able to afford something nice. but ill keep my eye out & if i see something really nice. ill look around in charity shops as well. but im waiting for the states where i will also have better selection.  i meant to say i have 7 pairs of pants to take in & a couple of other pants i have not been able to wear since gaining weight, oh & some other tops. but im going to go look for some sexy lingerie as well (seeing as tho i might be able to get the bf to chip in some moola for that).

i really dont want to count calories the way i did before. going to need to think of a better more efficient way to do it. i might get a small book that has all the calories of foods, its the actual looking up & calculating the right measurements that bug the "blip" out of me! and my bf & i are going to try one or two recipes once a week, not only for keeping the weight off but for some togetherness as well. and

I've gone away from counting calories on a regular basis and instead use visual cues combined with portion-control to determine whether I'm eating too much.  The foods in most food-groups are roughly the same cals per 100g so I don't see the point in splitting hairs and counting everything individually.  If you're interested it goes something like this....  At each meal.

1/2 plate is full of vegetables or salads

1/4 plate contains lean protein (4 - 6oz).  Exceptions are cheese, nuts & seeds where the serving is 1oz

1/4 plate contains wholegrain/starchy carbohydrate (4 - 6oz cooked weight).  Exception is bread where a serving is 2oz or 2 slices.

A small amount of fat used either in cooking or as a dressing... butter, oil, avocado etc.

Plus.... a couple of portions of fruit and dairy products each day, the occasional sweet treat/glass of wine/something else

When I tot up the calories as a spot check, that results in a typical day of about 1900-2000 cals.  And in my case that's fine for maintenance.   I don't eat processed or ready-made foods typically because I think they are terrible.  If I go out to eat I simply make sure the portion-sizes look similar to the above and then enjoy the meal rather than fretting about calorie-counts.   If you're going to the States you'll need that skill.   Their food, like their clothes, is not only cheap but comes in extremely large quantities.

I think the idea of going and getting a tan is a great idea! Maybe you'll feel more comfy in skirts or dare I say that bathing suit.  Feel sexy because you are! Another very fun way to pamper yourself is a long bubble bath. Spend an afternoon playing dress up and play around with your hair style, your make up, etc and focus on how beautiful you are. I think you need a little time for self love and maybe the compliments you get from your friends will seem more genuine.

thanks fhstke. yes i got these fake tan body wipes for 3 euro (all about the good cheap stuff) and it works very well. im already brown but it does help to even out my leg tone.  i actually went to try on a dress that had an empire waist like the one i plan to get for my wedding & i couldn't believe how good i looked in it. even when i went to take off my clothes my body looked the best it had been in a while (although i have to put in, still not bathing suit ready), even with the lighting in the dressing room, although more flattering than most clothes shops. i wish i could've afforded that dress but it was nice to try on something that looked good. a few months ago i wouldn't have been as happy.

then i bought a pair of thigh hi fish net tights (for my fiance really) and was dissapointed that the fat on my thighs buldged out. not really flattering. but this morning i cut off the elastic part & even though its not as secure it'll serve its purpose. so with the new tan & all i felt a little better this morning.

gi-jane,  thanks for reminding me about the portion sizes. im actually american, just live over here. which is why i can't get used to the rain or prices & lack of selection.