Remembering Matthew

"On Wednesday, October 7, 1998, Matthew Shepard was found tied to a fence on the Wyoming prairie, barely alive, his skull fractured and his brain stem crushed.  Comatose, he was taken first to a Laramie hospital, then to a better-equipped one in Fort Collins, Colo., where he died five days later.  We may never know what his killers, Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson, intended to do when they first approached Shepard at Laramie's Fireside Lounge.  We only know that, whatever their intention, they ended up murdering him.

Almost instantly, his death became a flash point in this country's reckoning with gay people, and the cute, clean-cut 21 year old became a symbol of the ravages of intolerance.  The tragedy sparked vigils around the world and led to federal hate-crimes legislation that bears Shepard's name, currently pending in Congress.  (Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama has promised to sign the bill if elected.)

Shepard's impact can also be felt in the work of the Matthew Shepard Foundation, headed by his mother, Judy."

Michael Martin

It's been 10 years.  Please join me in replacing hate with understanding, compassion and acceptance, join the campaign and support the Matthew Shepard Foundation.

Original Post by splitrail:

The "Matthew Shepherd Act" is in fact an expansion of the 1969 United States Federal Hate-Crime law which recognizes crimes motivated by race, religion or national origin.

In addition to extending protection to victims of crime motivated by gender, sexual orientation, gender identity or disability, the proposed act would enable federal intervention in cases that local authorities opt not to investigate.

So you see, this is not a "gay" issue, it's a human rights issue.

"Hate crimes violate everything our country stands for. They send the poisonous message that certain Americans deserve to be victimized solely because of who they are. These are crimes committed against entire communities, the Nation as a whole and the very ideals upon which our country was founded."

Senator Edward Kennedy, addressing the Senate, April 12, 2007

You're right about that, and it is unfair for GLBT people to be excluded from that law.

But I disagree with the 1969 law in principle.  I don't think that killing someone for being gay is somehow worse or better than killing them for being a love rival, or for having money that you want, or for any other reason.  I simply disagree with factoring in motive when trying murderers.  The only issue I'm interested in was did the person do it, and was it in self defense.  If the answer to the first question is yes, and the second question is no, then they should be put away for life, end of story.  Why they did it is of no concern to me.

Shepherd's and Schindler's killers deserve to be put away for life because they are disgusting murderers, not because they targeted their victims for being gay.

Wow, 10 years. 10 years ago my 18 year old son was 8. He told me he was gay at 16. This could be a child of anyone. It could be mine. The bill must pass. It amazes me at how some people hate. I never thought I'd have a gay child, but I am just as proud of him and love him the same way any mother loves any child. He deserves to live and have the same rights as every other American. If the congress men or women who voted it down had children come out of the closet I think they would have a change of heart.  Sad.. So so sad. My heart goes out to the Shepherd family.

I think that the New York State Legislature nicely summarized the justification for such a law when they enacted the Hate Crimes Act of 2000.  Far more eloquently than I could have put it!

"Hate crimes do more than threaten the safety and welfare of all citizens. They inflict on victims incalculable physical and emotional damage and tear at the very fabric of free society. Crimes motivated by invidious hatred toward particular groups not only harm individual victims but send a powerful message of intolerance and discrimination to all members of the group to which the victim belongs. Hate crimes can and do intimidate and disrupt entire communities and vitiate the civility that is essential to healthy democratic processes. In a democratic society, citizens cannot be required to approve of the beliefs and practices of others, but must never commit criminal acts on account of them. Current law does not adequately recognize the harm to public order and individual safety that hate crimes cause. Therefore, our laws must be strengthened to provide clear recognition of the gravity of hate crimes and the compelling importance of preventing their recurrence."

Original Post by splitrail:

I think that the New York State Legislature nicely summarized the justification for such a law when they enacted the Hate Crimes Act of 2000. Far more eloquently than I could have put it!

"Hate crimes do more than threaten the safety and welfare of all citizens. They inflict on victims incalculable physical and emotional damage and tear at the very fabric of free society. Crimes motivated by invidious hatred toward particular groups not only harm individual victims but send a powerful message of intolerance and discrimination to all members of the group to which the victim belongs. Hate crimes can and do intimidate and disrupt entire communities and vitiate the civility that is essential to healthy democratic processes. In a democratic society, citizens cannot be required to approve of the beliefs and practices of others, but must never commit criminal acts on account of them. Current law does not adequately recognize the harm to public order and individual safety that hate crimes cause. Therefore, our laws must be strengthened to provide clear recognition of the gravity of hate crimes and the compelling importance of preventing their recurrence."

All of those rationales are true, but when we legislate about the hate, rather than the crime, we are setting the precedent that certain kinds of political thought or expression can be banned. In our lifetimes it may only be used to protect minorities, but the slippery slope is established and eventually, criticism of say, republicans or democrats or rich people or whatever could eventually be construed as a "hate crime".

Personally, I'd rather err on the side of protecting the first amendment, ALWAYS, and work at enforcing laws against violent crimes, intimidation and harassment more thoroughly.  Every single one of the things mentioned in your rationale for hate crimes law is already illegal, it's just that certain classes don't get EXTRA protection by virtue of their minority status.  I say repeal the 1969 law and enforce the existing laws better.  We also have a long ways to go in terms of educating people in the schools, since there are STILL people who think that gay is a choice that can be "cured".

I respect and understand the proponents' feelings, but do believe that the Bill of Rights should come first.

Original Post by udokier:

All of those rationales are true, but when we legislate about the hate, rather than the crime, we are setting the precedent that certain kinds of political thought or expression can be banned. In our lifetimes it may only be used to protect minorities, but the slippery slope is established and eventually, criticism of say, republicans or democrats or rich people or whatever could eventually be construed as a "hate crime".

Personally, I'd rather err on the side of protecting the first amendment, ALWAYS, and work at enforcing laws against violent crimes, intimidation and harassment more thoroughly.  Every single one of the things mentioned in your rationale for hate crimes law is already illegal, it's just that certain classes don't get EXTRA protection by virtue of their minority status.  I say repeal the 1969 law and enforce the existing laws better.  We also have a long ways to go in terms of educating people in the schools, since there are STILL people who think that gay is a choice that can be "cured".

I respect and understand the proponents' feelings, but do believe that the Bill of Rights should come first.

I agree with Udokier.

This was a horrible crime committed by horrible people with an innocent victim. There are no words for it...I feel for the victim and his family.

But...I don't believe in hate crime legislation. Murder is murder, whether a man is killed because he is gay or a toddler is killed because they wouldn't stop crying. Both of these are horrific crimes that can destroy a community and a family...but they are equal in their horror. It's the act that is being punished, not the thought process behind it. 

Original Post by rachd:

Original Post by udokier:

All of those rationales are true, but when we legislate about the hate, rather than the crime, we are setting the precedent that certain kinds of political thought or expression can be banned. In our lifetimes it may only be used to protect minorities, but the slippery slope is established and eventually, criticism of say, republicans or democrats or rich people or whatever could eventually be construed as a "hate crime".

Personally, I'd rather err on the side of protecting the first amendment, ALWAYS, and work at enforcing laws against violent crimes, intimidation and harassment more thoroughly.  Every single one of the things mentioned in your rationale for hate crimes law is already illegal, it's just that certain classes don't get EXTRA protection by virtue of their minority status.  I say repeal the 1969 law and enforce the existing laws better.  We also have a long ways to go in terms of educating people in the schools, since there are STILL people who think that gay is a choice that can be "cured".

I respect and understand the proponents' feelings, but do believe that the Bill of Rights should come first.

I agree with Udokier.

This was a horrible crime committed by horrible people with an innocent victim. There are no words for it...I feel for the victim and his family.

But...I don't believe in hate crime legislation. Murder is murder, whether a man is killed because he is gay or a toddler is killed because they wouldn't stop crying. Both of these are horrific crimes that can destroy a community and a family...but they are equal in their horror. It's the act that is being punished, not the thought process behind it. 

I see what you are saying about a crime being a crime, yes horrifying no matter the reason behind it. I am happy however to see motive brought into it. Many people don't see the everyday horrors that GLB are faced with. We have to begin somewhere with realizing they are being victimized daily and nothing is being done about it. Take for instance that my son failed gym class for three years straight. Now he is an honors student, very healthy (a vegetarian) and walks for exercise, its not that he was being lazy or didn't want to participate. He was tormented in the locker room by other boys. He did not want to undress in the middle of a bunch of men. How would a straight person feel about undressing in a room full of the opposite sex. I went to the Principal and asked about this and was totally shut down. So he failed, finally in his senior year he had to bite the bullet take all the harassment and shame, he did finally pass gym. This caused his GPA to be much worse and cost him some scholarship money. OK I know this goes off topic, but it is just a tiny bit of the hate GLB deal with. He took crap every day of his life in the hall, from teachers and principals. Would it have been so hard to have just let him get his credit dressed in his own clothes? No, you have to force people with the law to make them treat GLB with the same respect you would give to a straight. Just in the days of equal rights for blacks. He didn't chose this orientation, he was born with it.  Yes born that way, ask most parents and they will tell you it was at a very young age when the glimmer of GL entered their mind. I know my son would not choose to be tormented every day of his life just on a whim. I see I am getting emotional and it is not at anyone who has posted here. I'm remembering that Principal lol. I am christian and yes I struggle with this daily, but he has rights, he is not a throw away child.

By definition, a "Hate Crime" victimizes not only the target of the attack, but the entire community with whom the victim is (rightly or wrongly) associated.   The justification for criminal distinction (for the purpose of sentencing) is that a hate crime is not a crime against an individual - it is a crime against society that perpetrates negative stereotypes and is charactorized by malicious intent to compromise the safety, security and quality of life of an identifiable sector of the broader population.

For over 40 years, the Canadian Criminal Code has included a "penalty enhancement provision" for crimes "motivated by bias, prejudice or hate based on racial group, national or ethnic origin, language, colour, religion, sex, age, mental or physical disability, sexual orientation, or any other similar factor." 

The "Matthew Shepard Bill" simply seeks parity for American citizens in regard to the protection afforded by Hate Crime legislations already enacted in countries including Belgium, England, France, Iceland, Spain and Sweden. 

And Canada, of course.

As a card carrying PFLAG member, (Parents and Family of Lesbians and Gays) I say this kind of discussion is exactly what is required. 

Just yesterday someone told me that, "gay men make her sick." There was an awkward silence when nobody said anything so I said something.  People have to hear from us, that it is not ok to spread their toxic hatred.  We need more voices saying it is NOT ok.

The evening of the Gay Pride Parade in Vanouver, this summer, some idiot  walked down Davie Street, hitting gay men on the back of their heads with a hammer.  He was not caught.

We must have the courage of our convictions and let these people know, not only are their sentiments not shared by us but they are backward, abnormal and violent. 

Peace Out!

~k

I agree with a few posters here, while a crime is a crime I think a hate crime is worse. Like split said, it's targeted towards the entire community. It's much different, to me, than murder committed out of jealous rage when your spouse cheats on you.

Original Post by katonick:

Just yesterday someone told me that, "gay men make her sick." There was an awkward silence when nobody said anything so I said something. People have to hear from us, that it is not ok to spread their toxic hatred. We need more voices saying it is NOT ok.

I agree *completely.*

Original Post by r4eboxer:

He was tormented in the locker room by other boys. He did not want to undress in the middle of a bunch of men. How would a straight person feel about undressing in a room full of the opposite sex.

I respect what your son went through. It must be difficult as an out teenager.  But I know for a fact that a lot of gay gays have no problem whatsoever dressing with other guys. But not everyone comes out in high school.  Anyway, it's a shame they tried to force him, but I don't know if that was so much hate, as ignorance and insensitivity.

I had a friend in high school commit suicide from bullying.  He wasn't gay, but he was a "late bloomer", weak and nerdy.  His parents didn't want him and he lived with his aunt and uncle who told him every day they couldn't stand him and that he was nothing but a burden.  Then on top of that he would get stuffed in the trash can at school and endure other torments.  Unfortunately the people who are weak and pathetic on the inside love to target those who are weak on the outside, gay or straight.  The fact that I never did anything to stand up for him, and that I never tried to be a real friend to him beyond occasional small talk is something that has followed me ever since.

Our culture has a very deep streak of meanness in it, and a lot of adults pass that down to their kids.  I don't know what will fix it, but I suspect hate crimes laws will not.  But familiarity does seem to help.  I lived in San Francisco for years, and nobody there bats an eye at anything gay.  It's just so much a part of the culture that it is no big deal.  I'd like to see the whole country become as accepting, but without compromising the first amendment.

Anyway, you're lucky to have a wonderful son, and he's lucky to have such a caring mom.  I'm no bible scholar, but my understanding of the bible is that it does not condemn loving homosexual relationships, but that it does condemn illicit ones (IE male prostitution).  I seriously doubt any loving and benevolent God would make 5 or 10% of the population with these feelings and then condemn them to hell for it. There are a lot of churches that feel that way.  I wish everyone would just abandon the hate churches and go to the more sane ones, like the Unitarian Universalists, the Quakers, and others.

I had a friend in high school commit suicide from bullying.  He wasn't gay, but he was a "late bloomer", weak and nerdy.  His parents didn't want him and he lived with his aunt and uncle who told him every day they couldn't stand him and that he was nothing but a burden.  Then on top of that he would get stuffed in the trash can at school and endure other torments.  Unfortunately the people who are weak and pathetic on the inside love to target those who are weak on the outside, gay or straight.  The fact that I never did anything to stand up for him, and that I never tried to be a real friend to him beyond occasional small talk is something that has followed me ever since.

This made me sad. This bullying has to stop too. My 6th grader ( i've got 4 boys) did a social studies project on bullying last year, well it was titled Campus Security. (he won 3rd place in state competition, ok my brag is over..heehee) He petitioned our county commission for a safe schools week and it was proclaimed in our county for the week of October 19-23 2008. He is working on events to help educate the kids in our county school system about the effects of bullying as well as teaching them to speak up where acts of violence have or may occur. He is going to do have kids complete in an essay contest and a project in art class for starters. Bullying is a real problem all over the US. Sadly events like what you described are just now getting addressed. What he is working on is called the Speak Up Campaign, it deals with school violence and guns, but also teaches kids not to bully. Many of the tragic school shootings were seeded in bullying and isolation. It may help ease your conscience if you involve yourself and family in a campaign to educate children of the effects of bullying. It could help to save a child in the future. Education is truly the key. As well as setting a good example.