Retraining My Metabolism: A Conclusion

Hello all,

Nearly one year ago, I embarked on a journey that has continued throughout this past year (and still continues today).  Last May, I decided that, once and for all, I was going to take control of my life and no longer let food fears or anxieties rule my world.  After dealing with an ED many years ago, I found myself obsessed with food control and exercise...and I also found my life to be completely devoted to maintaining a small size. 

After years of watching, weighing, counting, and avoiding, I decided, last May, that I was going to start eating "normally":  i.e. I was going to eat whatever I wanted to, like a typical, normal person would.  Yet, I would still include exercise and healthy foods in my regime...but I would incorporate them into a normal lifestyle that would be more easier to maintain.  Life was going to become about the people in it...not about the calories I had so desperately tried to avoid.

When I began this journey, I started off around 125 lbs...a healthy, maintainable weight for my stature of 5'5".  I was happy where I was, even though I mentally would have like to shed a few pounds here and there.  Ideally, my goal weight was 120, but after becoming so fed up with dieting so severely, I needed a break.  So, starting in May, I began introducing "forbidden" foods into my diet...and then the trouble started.

I started off slow at first, still trying to keep healthy foods as the focus of my diet, but soon found that my poor stomach, used to years of dieting, simply could not handle the kinds of food I was giving it.  I found myself battling constipation, severe bloating, and eventually, weight gain...despite a fervent exercise routine, nearly every day.  I tried everything I could think of...I cut back on calories, I cut out sweet foods, junk foods, forbidden foods...during this time, I also began a tough waitressing job that kept me on my feet nearly 12 hours a day...yet the weight continued to pile on.  I tried eating as little as possible...I tried eating more to get my metabolism moving...nothing worked.  I was overworked, exhausted, yet still not seeing any effects.  By the time I left for school in the fall, I had put on 7 pounds.

So, yet again, I knew I had to make a change.  It was around this time that I began pondering just how screwed up my metabolism truly was due to years of dieting and exercise.  I rationalized that maybe my metabolism just needed a kickstart, and concluded that I actually wasn't eating enough to properly run my metabolism, and that's why the weight had been coming on.  I had also not been able to have a period anywhere during these few months, which also began to worry me.

I began to maintain a diet of 1800-2000 calories, day in, day out...and for a while, I didn't see any results.  This bolstered my attitude, if only because for the first time in my life, I was eating more and not seeing any weight gain.  I treated myself to certain foods I would never have eaten before, and loved every minute of it...but, then again, despite exercise every morning, I saw more pounds come on. 

I was so frustrated at that point that I completely changed up my exercise routine...I tried new supplements...I began eating healthier foods again...I tried eating unhealthy foods...everything!  I began weight lifting, eating protein bars, etc, but still...nothing worked.  By the time I went home for Christmas break I was a good 137 and rising...almost to 140 somedays.  And on my frame, I felt sluggish and tired all the time.  I was so frustrated:  why was I working out, watching my diet and fretting over what I put into my body if it had no effect??? My self-esteem shrunk and I was at a loss for what to do next.

My only other rationale was that it was some sort of medical problem.  After countless tests, which confirmed I was as healthy as a horse, I left the doctor's office feeling frustrated...there was medically nothing wrong with me.  So, then what?

Christmas break left me at 140 and out of options.  I had to change something...after listening to my mom say, for years, that I "should just stop exercising and monitor what kinds of foods you're putting into your body," I finally listened, at a loss for any other option.  I had always been a proponent of "calories in vs. calories out," but since that had not been working for me, I decided to go with her advice.

Around this time as well, I also began finding articles about something called adrenal fatigue, which I've mentioned in previous posts.  This is something that can happen to you when your body is overworked and your cortisol levels shoot through the roof.  It's hard to explain in detail here, but suffice it to say that this can also happen when you're under a ton of stress (which I was).  Surprisingly enough, it can cause weight gain, even if you're dieting and exercising.  The solution?  Relax!  Cut out the exercise...monitor your diet.  I actually even found a book by Dr. Eric Berg which elaborated on how our hormones can have a direct impact on our system...effecting our metabolism, endocrines/adrenals/ovaries/liver, etc.  Depending on what type of hormones rule our bodies (we're all different), different foods can impact us differently as well.  Hmm.  Perhaps I was on to something here.

My mom has been a long time proponent of the Cleveland Clinic Diet...she has never lost any weight following this 3-day diet plan, but has always championed it's benefits:  it leaves you feeling leaner, healthier and lighter, even if you don't lose any weight during the tough 3 day period.  It relies on the interactions between certain foods, introducing fresh veggies, fruits and complex carbs into your diet at certain meal times...it even allows for full-bodied vanilla ice cream!  So, after trying everything else, I turned to this diet, and found some interesting results.

Although I, too, lost no weight during the 3 day period, I found my body feeling lighter, more energized and free of the constipation that had plagued me for so long.  I found myself wanting to introduce more fresh foods into my diet, and decided from that day on that I was sick and tired of over-exercising (especially if it had no effect on my weight whatsoever).  I would cease the exercise for a while, focusing on cleaning up my diet and easing the stress out of my life.  I began trying to incorporate healthy proteins and whole grain carbs into my life, as well as more fruits and veggies, and I limited my beloved sweets.  I tried to not eat a thing after dinner, after learning that eating something an hour before bed can impact weight loss.  I began to learn how to listen to my stomach, eating only when hungry, and stopping when full (I had lost the ability to tell satiation from being overly full).  I began to eat intuitively, occasionally having a treat or indulging a bit, but never overdoing it.  And the results have shown.

I'm so happy to report that today I'm finally back down to my weight loss goal of 115 lbs.  I'm as flabbergasted as can be, especially when I think of how much time and energy I devoted to exercising as a way to keep the weight off.  My whole life became ruled by diet and exercise, and I'm here to tell you today that there is a way to regain your life and maintain a healthy weight in a normal way.  I went from being so frustrated to so much happier and calmer...I no longer have to worry if I don't get in exactly one hour of the elliptical, or if I fail to do yoga for the day.  I consciously think about what kinds of foods I'm putting into my system, and it's a much more livable lifestyle.  I'm listening to my stomach, and eating intuitively.  I don't deny myself treats when I want them...but I also don't overindulge, either.  When one bite of chocolate cake will do, that's fine by me...but when I need the whole slice, I don't fret, either.  I can always eat healthy foods the next day.

I hope that my posts can help those out who are also frustrated and about ready to give up with their weight loss efforts.  I was almost to a point where I was going to give it all up, until I listened to someone else's opinion.  And boy, am I glad I did.  I'm here to say that life is always unpredictable, but you can always make a lifestyle change for the better.  And, the biggest thing I've learned throughout all of this, is that food/weight is NOT the more important thing in the world...the people/family/friends in your life are.  If you put the focus on them and around enjoying life first, food/diet worries will almost disappear.  It's taken me a long while to figure that out, but I am so glad I did.  Instead of fretting about counting out calories for the day, I eat until I'm full, and then focus on who's in my life and how I'm so thankful for them.  I don't let food rule my days anymore, and the result has left me feeling calmer and more energized for life itself.

So, I'm here, for any of you who have hit a weight plateau or barrier, and feel like there's nothing more you can do...I'm here to say that there is a way to a better lifestyle, and it may begin just by following a bit of someone else's advice!  Thank you to everyone who have been supportive over the past year...without your tips and advice, I never would have gotten this far!