Reward

I'm a 911/police/fire and ambulance dispatcher. I work swing shift. I exercise 4-5 times a week and I'm considered severly overweight. I plan my meal, I pack my lunch and I go forth into the world to deal with the idiots, the lame and those who generally need help. We rarely get breaks and we're always very busy listening to many channels, phones, voices. blah, blah blah. Anyway, I'm great until I get home and usually legitimately hungry. I try readin, surfing the net, cuddling my kitties and still in the back of my mind I need just a little something with usually turns to something more and always in the name of reward. Reward for having made it thru the shift, commute etc. I don't eat junk food normally and don't keep it in the house. But I can find something to binge on, peanut butter, cheese, rice cakes, trail bar, calories are calories. And I don't usually feel guilty but I can't STOP either. I know why, I know the consequences, but I'm like a crack addict and I am an xsmoker. WOW was I thin then. Anyway, how does one convince a themselves that reading, or writing or something is a better reward than the sweet feeling of dopamine headed to the brain via peanut butter and crackers????

If you're hungry when you get home, plan a meal or a snack into your day rather than trying to pretend you're not hungry or distract yourself from it.  That never works.    Make your meal/snack something filling and substantial.... soup's not a bad choice, for example because it's warming and filling but if you make it with lots of vegetables it's pretty low in calories.  Hot drinks like low calorie hot chocolate aren't bad either.

Shift all the other foods out of your cupboards that you don't want to eat.  Personally, a jar of peanut butter in my house lasts for an embarrassingly short space of time (!) so I've just stopped buying it rather than torment myself....  If you don't have trail bars and rice cakes around, you're a lot less likely to eat them.

Best of luck.

It must be hard...your job..your position, I couldn't imagine doing what you do, you are to be rewarded, but have you considered rewarding yourself in different ways, other than food?

Sometimes, I enjoy a self done pedicure, manicure, bath with lots of bubbles and some candles, throw a book in there and I could be in there all night.  What about a walk after dinner? 

I know it's hard, especially since you're so hungry when you get home, but I would do what gi-jane suggests and plan a meal for when you get home, eat the meal and then "treat" yourself to somethign, like a movie or a rockin' book, some time for YOU.  Do you have any hobbies?  Anything you can interject into your night?  Is there anything you wanted to try?  I used to reward myself with fresh acrylic paints on the weekend and I'd be so excited to use them through the week.  It's amazing how great a new paint brush can feel..or a new bottle of nail polish...or anything that suits you!  Good luck...it is hard...it really is.

With healthy food binges, I started putting everything into portioned containers and trying to focus on when it was out that was it.  Not easy but over time I'd been able to more or less break that habit.

For my 'reward' I'm putting aside what I'd spend on junk or a binge food (one of my worst is dried apricots lol) into a can.  I literally do it with the cash so it's in sight and more of a visible reward.  It's going to my half sleeve work so it's a longer term saving goal since that's a considerable piece.  That way I can put more mind over matter on that. I've dipped into the can for a new pair of jeans and a couple new tops since I had too much room in some of my old ones so it's nice. 

Wow.. I admire anyone who does jobs such as yours. You have to speakor listen to, people on the worst day of their lives and I cannot imagine how stressful that must be for you (well, I can try but I probably wouldn't be close). Many people find themselves eating to relieve stress and I think that may be what is happening here for you.

Anyhow, I think your best plan would be not to try to avoid food, but to plan a small meal or snack for the end of your shift, included into your daily calorie allowance. Possibly something sweet to satisfy cravings a little. Then when you have eaten your proper, allowed snack, you will not need to use avoidance techniques to get you through the evening.

Snack suggestion, chop an apple into cubes, sprinkle generously with cinnamon. Cook on high in microwave for about 1- 1:30 minutes. Add 1/2 cup of 2% cottage cheese (the regular salted kind, works just fine). ENJOY!

Seriously, this tastes like desert to me! and is surprisingly satisfying, (probably due to the addition of the protein) without being horribly high in calories.  

ETA: I try not to have high cal "snackables" in the house... I know they are too tempting for me when my will power is at a low ebb.

All great suggestions gals, thank you. I wish I could say I hadn't tried them before but they never "stick." I'm 48, 5'10" 224. I have been working out with a personal trainer for 6 months now 2x a week for an hr with her and then a 1/2 hr cardio after our session. 3 more tx per week I kick box, swim, cycle, jog or eliptical/treadmill interval train for a hr. I figure I burn conservatively 800 calories a week although the machines suggest 1000 or more.  I've been exercising consistently for over 3 yrs now and I've managed to lose 6 lbs. I've owned two businesses, traveled all over the world, have had many "hobbies" and love to try new things, despite my size. I'm known as the "yeti" at work. After a 10 hr shift, I come home at 10pm and find it hard to concentrate on reading as I've been so concentrated on keeping track of cops, fire engines or listening between the lines with callers. I've been struggling with the two hrs home before I sleep. Coming down from the stress, occupying my mind and yes, I've tried planning a meal. Although once I wake up my taste buds at that time of night and after a stressful shift, it's hard to turn them off. It just may be that I CAN'T eat anything once I get home even if I'm hungry. I can put away or not buy most anything, but I find I can always find a subsitution!! And just so all ya know, this attempt at weight loss will be my 6th and every time I've lost more than 60 lbs. But this go 'round the scale doesn't reflect my efforts. Old ways of losing aren't working anymore and rewards are few and far between. I fear I may never except myself for what I look like and despite my considerable strength and endurance all anyone on the outside sees is the weight. I am training for a sprint trialthalon next July. I love the idea that building muscle burns fat! Ha. Anyway, thanks for listening all.

Ubbergirl-have you tried adjusting the type of food you eat in your regular diet (the stuff you plan) -your percentages of fat/protein/carbs?

I have had a similar experience on a smaller scale-for me it was too high a percentage of carbs (all good ones) and not enough good fat and protein. I have tweaked this just a little bit and feel so much better and actuually satisfied and not as food focused.

Honestly-I was ravenous or 'off' in my stomach pretty much all the time and it made me feel never satiated and more likely to overeat.

Especially with how active you are you may need to have more/less of one of these macronutrients (I believe that is what they are called-fat/protein/carbs).

Honestly I am amazed at how much better I feel on the same amount of cals.

Best of luck.

There are lots of comments on here about ways to deal with food and snacks and so forth, but what I'm recognizing from your post is something I felt for years which was TRAPPED.   I was unhappy with my life and all the demands in it and eating food was like going to my own island.  It was the one thing that didn't ask anything of me and that gave me consistent pleasure.  Food filled a very important need.  Also, I was a single parent and also very often felt trapped at home without any freedom to explore other interests and I'm very creative and adventurous at heart.

My solution was in finding ways to empower myself to make my life more fun.  Somehow, I got better at the job I hated and started laughing and having more fun with it.  I got more rest.  I gave myself permission to crawl in bed some days and not do another thing after work.  I stopped demanding so much of myself and berating myself for not doing/accomplishing the impossible.  I became a friend and helper to myself the way I have been for so many other people but never myself. Somehow I got the novel written that I'd been longing to write even though it took over 10 years.  I found ways to live and believe and think positively.  I started tentatively building better relationships with family. 

It has been a long process but now my life in general has a lot of satisfaction whereas it used to be an endurance test with food as the only vacation.  Today, I'm getting a ton of joy from succeeding at weight loss and weight lifting.  I enjoy food a great deal but it is no longer my only source of relief and pleasure.  Putting on a pair of size 10 pants this morning was a pleasure after wearing 16s earlier in the winter.

What I saw in your post wasn't about food; it was about unhappiness.  There has to be a way to either change the circumstance or to change the way you feel about your circumstance.  There has to be a better life for you.  What is it? What does it look and feel like?  Are you willing to value yourself enough to let it show itself to you and to grow into it?

I hope that didn't sound weird or presumptuous.  Hope it helps.

Auburn

If you must reward yourself with food, try something tasty, healthy, that takes a ridiculous amount of time to eat, like shelled seeds/nuts, air-popped popcorn. Are you staying properly hydrated? Every time you feel the urge to eat, drink a huge mug of water/unsweetened tea, at the very least there`ll be less room for the food.

Auburn,

BINGO. How did/what you find ways to make the job you hated better? How did you laugh more and think positive more? I know I've been an emotional eater for many years but have tried to many "hobbies," read books on positive thinking, meditation, new exercises, challenges etc but how did you get it to stick? I know what I'd like my life to look like and in many areas I've achieved those goals, but my life is getting shorter and I haven't been able to conquer this one. It's all so exhausting really and trust me, many many shrinks under the belt too. It's not as simple as substituting diet this or that for the real thing, it's so much bigger than that. Thanks for knowing what I'm talking about. And what I think I am is a Food Addict.

You're writing my story, sister.  Those could have been exactly my words a year or so ago.  Let's see what we can learn together.  It'll take more than one post.  I'm adding you as a buddy.