Ridiculous ED Memories

For the longest time I have not been able to recall what my behavior was like when I suffered from anorexia. Food deprivation= bad memory? I don't know. All I could remember was that most people avoided me and my closest family members frequently tried to inform me of my insanity (and I gladly answered in kind). As of late, however, some memories have finally started coming to my attention, some of which I find rather humorous. For example, I now remember that my parents found me, on more than one occasion, furiously picking up the living room at 3 AM. To provide you with some context, that was the room in which I religiously ate breakfast, so it was apparently very important to me that the setting be perfect. In another instance, I nearly lost it on my mom when she refused to pay more for a smaller portion at a restaurant: "That makes no sense"..."I won't eat it! I won't eat it!" Quite laughable in retrospect, if you ask me. While I recognize that anorexia is a very serious illness, I do not think it too inappropriate to request that others of you who have recovered share your experiences that, though not amusing at the time, make you smile at yourself now. Despite my reflections, I am not, nor do I claim to be, completely recovered. Weight-restored? Yes. However, offer me a slice of pizza and I am still likely to run for the hills. In other words, I am requesting input from those of you who, even if not yet completely recovered, are getting there.

Care to share?

So I know no one has posted in this topic in a few months, but I just had to leave a few of my own ridiculous memories....

Checking the labels on EVERY. SINGLE. DAMN thing I ate.  And if it were, say, a box of crackers, calculating exactly how many calories were in each cracker (and rounding up, of course, when adding in my head what I ate).

Making stupid-sounding excuses of why I couldn't accept the piece of cake or pizza that everyone else around me was enjoying.

Turning my head to "focus my attention on someone over there" when my boyfriend would try to kiss me after he had eaten/drank something.  I mean come on, he may have had calories on his lips!  How stupid....

What kills me is that I have always been so logical (too logical, according to some :)   ) yet I still let myself fall victim to this disorder.  Wow.

Well there's no point in regrets; what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger.  Us ED recoverers must be pretty damn strong!

Hehe I will add to this to! I remember waking up earlier than everyone else so i could go to the kitchen and weigh vegetables. I too always rounded my calories up.

I remember going to the supermarket was my favourite activity.  I would looking at chocolate aisle, bakery etc.  

One time at school I made a comment about how i had just eaten breakfast but was still hungry. (At that time i did not see how thin i was)        ;       &n bsp;        ;     I feel like such a dick onw when i think back to that situation. I wonder what everyone around me was thinking!! They never said anything at the time.

I had an extreme fear of even touching fully packaged butter or cheese; and even stopped taking headache pills because I thought it contained calories.