Am I right?

Am I right here?

My sister in law is dieting and eating mainly fruit and vegetables with some meat and fish, but mainly fruit and veg.  Am I right in thinking this is not sustainable and that when she gets to her goal weight it will all come back on, unless she eats like this forever?  especially as I know she has a very sweet tooth!
I think I am right in saying that but..... I need you guys to reassure me, the weight is dropping off her, literally.  Probably because her diet is mainly fibre.

I feel discouraged but if I can be reassured that it is not sustainable for the long run, and we have to be able to do that, then I will not feel as though my weight loss is nothing in comparison.

Hope you understand what I am trying to find out.

Thanks x

I know exactly what you mean. When my friends go on diets like that one I freak out and think that they're going to lose heaps of weight while I struggle in the background to lose 1 pound a week!

Thing is with those diets (I know because I've been on them before, and I've seen others do it) is that yes, you do lose quite a lot of weight in the beginning. Most of this is water weight. After a while (usually a couple of weeks), however, it slows down. Perhaps you'll even gain a pound due to fluctuations in water weight (remember, you didn't lose very much solid fat). And then you start freaking out and thinking about all the sacrifices you're making (e.g. giving up carbs or whatever) when you're not getting any results.

Annnnd then you generally go back to normal eating, because you figure that it isn't working. The more drastic the changes you make, the less patience you have really, because you don't REALLY want to be giving up the foods you love, and it is a lot more uncomfortable than losing weight healthily.

Usually that results in pretty rapid weight gain due to the water weight coming back on. Usually you discover that you didn't really lose 8 pounds...you really only lost 2 or 3 of actual fat. Because your body is probably in starvation mode from restricting your diet, as soon as you start eating normally your body will hoard all the energy and store it as fat, and you'll probably put that fat back on. This could lead to even further weight gain if you get depressed about it.

Those are the main reasons why those diets VERY rarely work in the long term. You are definitely doing it the right way. Think about it this way. 4 months down the line, is she still going to be doing this diet? Probably not. But will you still be eating healthily and exercising? Yes, because you enjoy it, and your changes are sustainable.

You could try talking to her about this, but in my experience people often get defensive about their diets and think that you are being competitive or trying to ruin their plans. It might be better off for her to just learn this herself, and then she will realise the right way to do it is over a longer time period with less restrictions, etc.

Thanks for your reply Applemilk1 - that was exactly what I need to hear.

She does look great at the moment but on saturday she is off on a touring holiday of New England and I know she won't think about what she is eating.  I have tried to talk to her before but she won't listen.

I just feel low that since the last time I saw her she seems to have slimmed down a lot and I still feel like a walrus lol

thanks again xx

You can help her by encouraging her, and in the meantime reminding her about healthy weight loss.  Tell her how much weight it looks like she's lost, and then ask her if she might be losing too fast - that it can be unhealthy to lose too quickly.  Also ask her if she's enjoying her diet and if so, get some tips!

See, by being encouraging, you avoid turning her off to what you want to tell her.  By asking her if she's enjoying it, you plant the idea in her mind that she *should* - opening the way for a later reminder that 'dieting' is a life-long thing - once you lose enough, you have to maintain on a similar diet or you're likely to go right back up to where you started.  My friend's sister went through a regain recently, and she'd lost a LOT.

Her diet is theoretically sustainable, by the way, as long as she's eating enough; it's the diet I eat, more or less, and I had a horrible sweet tooth when I started dieting - and I was totally carb-addicted too.

I'm not sure I see the problem.  She eats mostly fruits and vegetables and some meat/fish.  As long as she's getting enough fibre, vitamins, minerals, and total calories for her activity level/age/height, there isn't a problem with this diet.

It seems to me that you have a problem with it though.  You don't think she can sustain these eating habits because you aren't able to.  That's not a problem with the diet; it's a problem of will-power and your expectations of what she can and cannot do.

Now, if she's not eating enough or not getting the proper nutrition, that's also a problem.  You can't tell her how to eat and expect her to actually do what you say, but you could recommend or urge her to meet with a nutritionist to make sure she's eating healthily and to put your fears at rest.

PS:  I eat mostly fruit and veg (incl. beans/legumes) with some fish/meat, a little cheese and whole grains.  I lost 30 lbs and have kept it off for almost a year now.  I allow myself to splurge sometimes on pizza/burgers, beer, sweets, etc.  It is sustainable if you have the will to do it.

Ouch not true let me clarify....

Week 1 - fruit,

Week 2 - fruit and veg,

Week 3 - Fruit, veg and chicken (every other day)

Week 4 - Fruit, veg, chicken and fish alternately

Nothing else at all - nothing else! 

You're right.  It's really not a healthy or sustainable diet for the long-term because it's too imbalanced.  Yes, she's getting thinner but who wouldn't on that kind of regime?   But hell... we've all done daft diets.  Lost 20lbs and regained 25 etc.  Even if you could, why stop her enjoying the same terrible experience as the rest of us?... LOL!

My feeling with these kinds of things is that you just have to sit back and wait with the box of tissues.  She's not going kill herself eating this way... it's not horribly dangerous or anything at least in the short term.  But the minute she introduces something normal like a few potatoes or a slice of bread (or a piece of cake if she has a sweet tooth) the probability is that a lot of the lost weight will return. 

Then sweep in with the tissues and resist the temptation to say 'I told you so'... Have fun.

Oh gross!! Fruit for a whole week! *gags* I am the anti-sweet tooth. Gimme my salt!!! LoL Wow, I couldn't handle that. Even if I LOVED fruit, I could not eat all that sweet stuff....

In my experience, most people who need to lose weight (or simply want to) try lots of crazy things before they figure out what will really work for them.  The only thing in favor of this experimentation is that once they are really ready to buckle down and find a lifelong plan that works for them, they know what doesn't work.

For instance, my past diets showed me that I am not willing to be hungry for months on end, I am not willing to give up all my special treats for months on end, I am not willing to exercise for hours a day, and I am not aiming for perfection.

I am willing to more at least 30 minutes a day, I am willing to make better choices most of the time, and I am willing to eat until I am satisfied but not stuffed.  These 3 things are allowing me to slowly lose a quarter century of accumulated fat, and I believe that I will be able to continue these habits for the rest of my life.

Others need to find the things that allow them to lose weight that are sustainable for them.  Much as we love them, we can't do it for them.

Original Post by karenpedersen:

Ouch not true let me clarify....

Week 1 - fruit,

Week 2 - fruit and veg,

Week 3 - Fruit, veg and chicken (every other day)

Week 4 - Fruit, veg, chicken and fish alternately

Nothing else at all - nothing else! 

 Sorry.  I didn't mean to give you an e-slap!    I understand now.

That is a bit drastic.  Week 2 (basically vegan) and on could work as long as she's getting all the needed stuff.  But as Jane said, as soon as she eats a piece of bread or cake or a bowl of pasta, she's in for trouble.

It would be good to get her to a nutritionist if you can swing it.  ... and have the tissues at the ready when that piece of cake hits her hips, uh, lips.

I understand your logic and I think that it is correct for most people because after being on a diet of restricted eating, most people tend to overindulge and put the pounds back on just as fast as they lost them. But, after she finishes, if she goes back to eating other types of food in moderation the only thing she should put back on is water weight (which was probably lost in the first couple of days; and usually happens after you cut out foods high in sodium).

When you go to mainly raw fruit and veggies diet, yes she will initally drop pounds very quickly. (As I am sure you know some of this is water weight).

I have this opinion because I did a raw fruits and vegetable diet (which would appear to be even more restrictive than what your sister in law is doing) dropped about 9lbs in two weeks and kept it off; I went from 164-155lbs. I like raw foods because they give your digestive system some much needed relief; no meat was incorportated because I am a vegetarian. When I started incoporating other foods back into my diet I saw a change on the scale of 1.2 lbs. (Meaning I had at least two servings of bread twice a day...AND Baked Lays Chips...in moderation.) I documented my raw food journey as part of a community; you can check some others journeys out at raw food boot camp dot com.

I'm sorry if you were looking for me to tell you that she will blow up once she's finished. She could, and very well may, but only if she starts over indulging.

My .02.

What I am finding hard is that I am very very short and I work from home so my weight loss is so slow it's almost going backwards ;) LOL

She on the other hand is losing it by the hour it seems.  She is being unhealthy and unbalanced and yes as soon as she gets bread, nuts, rice, whatever in her mouth, bang it'll go straight to her hips.

so, the part of me that is fed up and desperate is peeved, really peeved.  I lost 16lbs on this regime (so far) and my hubby is enjoying it LOL and I feel better so far but when I mentioned my loss the reply was 'you have? where?' meaning that it's not noticable - so down I feel again!  She meanwhile is looking better than she has for years, and then the conversation turned to their holiday in New England.  No talks of walking in those wonderful forests or seeing all the museums and history, no they are talking about the food!  I not only feel peeved but worried, her and my hubbies dad died of a heartattack, how can she be so silly?

I know only part of what I am saying is rational and the other is the ole green eyed monster but come on! I put up with jibes and not so considerate comments while she does this to herself.  I also cannot talk to her, as someone said up there, she gets defensive.

All I really wanted to know today was, am I right?  Is this unhealthy really? (mainly so I can tell the peeved part of me to 'not even go there'! LOL)

x

Unfortunately, I don't think there is a "right" or "wrong" in this particular instance.  Her diet is not one that I would want....but that's me....and you, are you.  If there were a "one diet fits all" that truly worked for everybody and was healthy for everybody, then we here on CC would probably all be on it.  A balanced diet with a good mix of carbs, protein and fat will work well for one person while another might need more protein.  Incorporating whole grains is considered healthy for many but a wheat gluten sensitive person would certainly find it unhealthy.  I do think that your approach is most likely a healthy choice for a good majority of the population.  And as long as she is taking in enough calories even through a limited menu, her plan might be a healthy thing for her.  However, if she's on a super low calorie plan, then she runs the risk of catabolyzing muscle in addition to losing fat.  Not an option that I would go for but everybody's different.

I have a friend like this. She thinks she eats well or only 1200 cals a day (never measurers). I've told her my strategy and I've lost weight and toned way more than her. She won't listen bc she's stuck in her ways. Last year I thought I had a GREAT diet plan, but after not losing a stinking pound I gave up.  This year CC.com has really educated me (and you). Fortunately we have the skills to know what's right. They'll come around, at there own time.

As far as your sister-in-law's diet is concerned, if she slowly adds some complex carbohydrates and is getting sufficient vitamins and minerals, it is actually nutritionally sound.  What makes me think that she may not benefit from sustained weight loss is the fact that she seems to be approaching it as a diet in the first place (as indicated by the strict week to week regimen).  In my opinion, sustainable weight loss can only really be achieved with a a life-style change, not by "dieting" in the sense that dieting is really a "this is what I am going to do for a fixed period of time" sort of strategy.  If you are changing your lifestyle in reasonable and sustainable increments, and your sister-in-law is "dieting", then you're comparing apples to oranges.  Yes, she will lose weight more quickly; yes, you will be envious that her "task" seems so much more instantly gratifying, and yes, this is all perfectly normal.  What you need to focus on is the fact that she is only working on a isolated "task", and that you morphing into a healthy woman who will likewise lead a healthy, energized, and productive lifestyle. 

I think the real issue here is that your sister-in-law represents the quick and easy out that you finally chose not to take.  I don't think you have a problem with her at all or that you really even need confirmation from us that she will fail.  What you need to hear, in my opinion, is that although the enviable spoils of the instantly gratifying "quick fix" (aka diet) are staring you in the face through your sister-in-laws immediate weight loss, you ARE appraoching weight loss in the right way.  You DID make the right decision when you decided to change your lifestyle rather than to diet, and that although you have to stare the temptation of immediate gratification in the face everytime you see your sister-in-law, you should remain strong and proud of yourself, regardless of how she happens to fair, because you have chosen the right path for you. 

It is hard to see  your goals so easily begotten by others, regardless of their methods.  But what you have to focus on is you, and no one else.  And when face to face with that little green monster, just remind yourself that you are a strong, healthy, beautiful woman who is leading an enviably healthy lifestyle, and no one else's successes or failures can take that away from you.

Original Post by acretin:

Unfortunately, I don't think there is a "right" or "wrong" in this particular instance.  Her diet is not one that I would want....but that's me....and you, are you.  If there were a "one diet fits all" that truly worked for everybody and was healthy for everybody, then we here on CC would probably all be on it.  A balanced diet with a good mix of carbs, protein and fat will work well for one person while another might need more protein.  Incorporating whole grains is considered healthy for many but a wheat gluten sensitive person would certainly find it unhealthy.  I do think that your approach is most likely a healthy choice for a good majority of the population.  And as long as she is taking in enough calories even through a limited menu, her plan might be a healthy thing for her.  However, if she's on a super low calorie plan, then she runs the risk of catabolyzing muscle in addition to losing fat.  Not an option that I would go for but everybody's different.

You do have a point about everyone being different. But at the same time, we are all humans and we all have bodies that require protein, carbohydrates and fat. A wheat gluten sensitive person does not need to eat wheat, but they still need carbohydrates from other sources. One person might feel better with more protein, more carbohydrates or less fat than another person - but they still need to be eating from all groups.

Taking in enough calories is not the only requirement of a healthy diet.

Original Post by determined22:

I understand your logic and I think that it is correct for most people because after being on a diet of restricted eating, most people tend to overindulge and put the pounds back on just as fast as they lost them. But, after she finishes, if she goes back to eating other types of food in moderation the only thing she should put back on is water weight (which was probably lost in the first couple of days; and usually happens after you cut out foods high in sodium)....

...I'm sorry if you were looking for me to tell you that she will blow up once she's finished. She could, and very well may, but only if she starts over indulging....

 

Like you've pointed out, fast weight loss can cause water loss.

So can low carbohydrate diets, so she will also be losing water weight there.

Fast weight loss can also cause muscle loss, meaning that her maintenance intake will be lower than if she had lost the weight more slowly. This is one of the reasons why crash diets can be unsustainable - because they lower the amount of calories you can eat to sustain the weight loss.

Low calorie diets can also slow down your metabolism, which is another reason why they are often unsustainable.

And yes, like you pointed out, crash diets also don't give you a chance to relearn eating behaviour that you can stick with for life.