My roommate is sabatoging me

Every Friday, I come home from work she has a pizza for us for dinner.  I've asked her to stop buying it because it's not allowed on my diet.  She continues to do it...even if I have other plans and intentionally stay out, she will call to see if I'm coming home because she bought pizza.  She knows I struggle with my diet and she could stand to lose some weight too, so I don't know how to get her to stop sabatoging me.  I've tried to include her and even went grocery shopping to buy healthy foods.  Now...she has started asking me over the weekends if I'm hungry and suggests getting food.  I'm usually able to get around that because the food isn't right under my nose.

I know I need to exercise some self control and all week think of ways to get around this, but I always cave and end up eating the pizza and then eat badly on the weekends.

Any suggestions???

Why don't you just plan for the pizza on Fridays? 1 or 2 slices for dinner with a side salad or something is perfectly fine once a week! Its not supposed to be about "dieting" or depriving yourself. If you are on a diet, you are already setting yourself up for failure. A couple slices of pizza doesn't make you fat. Entire pizzas will. Also, just because you eat the pizza doesn't mean you have ruined the entire weekend. It sounds like you've got a little bit of the all or nothing attitude, which tends to lead to yo-yoing b/c you can't keep up an incredible strict diet forever. And if pizza would not be your first choice as a "treat" then tell her that and suggest whatever you want one Friday.

And no one can force you to eat anything. You have the control. But pizza is delicious and there is no need to completely ban it from your diet. Moderation really does work the best!

true you can still have unhealthy foods in moderation just not every day, you can even make your own healthy whole wheat pizza if you want to. but eating pizza once a week won't make you fat, just don't eat to much of it~erica

She's not going to stop. Even with this little information it's pretty much clear that she's jelous of you being able to diet.

I wouldn't plan for the once a week pizza either. Partly because you might actually want to save that extra eating for a day when you just can't eat right (then pizza Friday would make it twice that week...) and also, if you eat pizza every now and then, she'll never get it. You need to tell her exactly how you feel, that you feel that she doesn't want you to lose weight and perhaps ask her why that is, but if you do talk to her and still eat pizza with her, I can't blame her for continuing bying it.

Load up on healthier foods and keep up the good work. Remember it's for you you're trying to lose. However stupid it might sound, people subconsiously feel better if you're "as bad" as they are, because that makes the behavious "normal".

Thanks!  I am somewhat an all or nothing kind of person so that makes it more difficult for me.  To top that off...pizza is a redlight food for me and I can't plan to have it every Friday.  Once in a while, maybe.  I just can't eat that in moderation.  I think my issues are more self control on my part.  Suddrik, I think you have the right idea.  I need to practice the self control and not eat it and then she will stop buying it.  I do believe the "misery loves company" theory, it's just hard to say no, especially when food is contantly being pushed on you.

I don't think antagonizing the roommate and making a big angry issue out of it is the answer.  Some people are just dense to situations like that because it's not a part of their life.  My roommate can't fathom the way I eat. I'm a complete mystery to him. There are always junky things in the house. Plus, whenever he's out later than me he always calls and asks if he can get me anything, which is ALWAYS fast and terrible (though tasty) food. But, he's being sweet when he does it, so I take accountibility for the what I put in my body and politely decline, or just don't partake in part of the dozen doughnuts that show up for breakfast on saturday mornings.

There are people who become bitter about "Dieting" or the start of their lifestyle change rather.  I don't want to be like that.

In my opinion, there are three ways of dealing with this and only you (knowing the most about the situation) will know which will work.

1. Say "No." and walk away. You can either change the subject while you grab something else to eat or physically leave the room/house for a while if it comes to it. "No" is a complete sentence all by itself. While I will be the first to admit this is HARD to follow through with, I can tell you it gets easier with practice. She may get the hint if you can stop leaving the door open for further discussion. Also, if she buys the whole pizza and has to eat it by herself for two or three days....she will either get sick of it fast or the potential waste of food may get to her to think twice before buying it next time. Break the cycle.

2. It also sounds like your roommate is looking to connect or spend time with you. She may just feel like you used to have the bad eating habit in common and misses that connection. Maybe she is afraid you are growing apart or something. Try talking to her about making Friday some kind of planned-event night. Either board/video games, crafts, "make-a-meal-together" night, etc. Is there anything else you two may have in common? It doesn't have to be a battle of wills if you show her you are still trying to include her. This will also take practice and effort on your part.

Also make sure she knows that you are not trying to change her. You are doing this for you and she is welcome to join you if she wants. But you are not going to force or bully her into doing it with you. (and mean it)

3. The last option - get a new roommate. Drastic, I know. But you need to remember why you started losing weight to begin with. Is she helping or hurting your cause? What is the bigger priority for you? Your goal weight and health or keeping her happy?

maybe she's worried that youre not eating enough you should ask or maybe she feels upset about her weight too i dont think anyone really wants to ruin your diet . Now i wouldnt have pizza every week but one or two slices arnt bad or maybe ask her to order a healthy pizza or to make your own. Eating out can be hard to but you can always order a salad and eat healthy you have control and if you dont treat yourself you'll end up binging

Thanks everyone!  I think there is some good advice in all the posts.  We actually talked more about it tonight.  It's not a hostile topic or making anyone angry.  I just want her to realize neither of us are going to lose weight unless we change our eating habits.  Pizza once in awhile is OK, but not every weekend for me.  It's sets us up for failure all weekend because we blow it, then figure we'll eat what we want over the weekend and start over on Monday.  All the dieting done during the week is lost with the weekend's bad choices.  I know it has to definitely start with me saying no and not eating the "bad" things she's bringing in the house (if that is what happens again) but I'm hoping to get her on board with me and start making better choices for herself as well so I'm not tempted either.  Hopefully, that will happen now.  She told me she ran into someone who knew her several years ago and they told her she used to be "hot"....she's put on about 40 lbs since then and needs to take it off.  I hope that is enough to motivate her for the weekend.  I think if we get one weekend behind us, the road will be a little easier.

Thanks again!!!!