is it rude that I dont want to talk to people at the gym

I've been going to my gym 5/6 days a week for the last couple of months, and I have my set routine that I adjust depending on my mood, tiredness, busiest of gym etc.  But mostly I always start on the cross trainer then on to the bike, then arm machines, matt work and this is my pattern.

Recently I've found myself a gym pest and although not directly trying to chat me up he does make me feel slightly uncomfortable.  I have my headphones in happy listening to my music and if the machine next to me is free he'll come on that one and shout HELLO until I pull my headphones out, then I just get random small talk for the remainder of my workout with him following my around every machine. 

Although not directly giving me the come on, its starting to really frustrate me because I have cut my workout short on a number of occasions due to not being able to concentrate.  I'm polite without giving away to much information or engaging in too many responses.  You know questions like "how was your day today?" I simply say "fine" instead of any detail.

I don't want to be rude but I'm not really their to make friends, which I realize does sound slightly uppertie.  I just wish this guy would get lost but not sure how to broach this.  If I say "look I'm not interested in talking to you really" I'm scared of a defensive response accusing me of thinking a bit much about myself, and then the gym might be more uncomfortable than its currently becoming.

I'm really not very good at being assertive about this kind of thing.  Any help from you guys out there?

Next time he asks you how you are doing or however he starts a conversation with you say something like, I'm great thanks, but I'm trying really hard to focus on my workout.  I'd finish it up by saying something like excuse me... and then I'd ignore him.  But then again, I'm a pretty blunt person.

This is an awkward situation to be in... espeically if you dont know the person.

Even if he isnt trying to "hit on" you and he is trying to be friendly, to me, it goes against a norm.  You dont talk to people at the gym while they are working out.  I have been in this situation, and like you, am reserved and dont want to hurt anyones feelings. Even though it might seem mean, I would probably turn my head or look down when I saw that person and turn up my headphones to pretend like I dont see or hear them...hoping they would get the hint... If he started to tap me that is when I would get verbal and say "Please dont touch me" and  I would look offended. This way he maybe would feel awkward and maybe not speak to you anymore. 

I guess a different option would be to switch the days and times you go to the gym. Or go to a different branch of your gym (if your membership allows for that)

Hope this could help you.

I'm with honkinator- aknowledge him and excuse yourself by saying you need to focus on your workout

If he doesn't get the hint, you can always complain to management about the creepy guy following you around.

"Hey - I'm just trying to get through my workout and get home to see my husband - I'd really like to not be interupted. Sorry."

Even if you don't have a husband, it's an easy excuse which puts you off limits if that's his aim, and shows that you really aren't at the gym to enhance your social life.

Wow, that is SO incredibly annoying. That puts you in such an awkward position and there is no "good" or "right" way to get rid of the pest....and seeing him at the gym after a confrontation...ugh! Anyway, you have to be stern. Tell him that you're pressed for time and need to get through x, y, z quickley. Then no more eye contact, do not smile and go back to headphones immidiately. If you're on a cardio machine you could bring a book or mag to have on the machine just to turn your attention towards and pretend to read. When on the mat or machines, just focus your eyes on the ceiling or clock or somewhere and make sure not to make eye contact with your socially awkward and annoying suitor. GOOD LUCK.

Get a friend to call you when you know he will be around and speak to the friend as if they are you other half.

similar to amethystgirl just different way.

Tell him to eF Off.

Find a new friend for him...there's got to be more than one Chatty Cathy at your gym, see if you can find another and introduce them to each other and then skip out back to your workout.

I agree with saying hello...I really need to focus, pardon me while I ignore you.  The gym is a place that you pay to attend, not a social club that you have to make nice at.

Original Post by trhawley:

Tell him to eF Off.

this would be my response but i was trying to be diplomatic lol

Original Post by suzettezus:

This is an awkward situation to be in... espeically if you dont know the person.

Even if he isnt trying to "hit on" you and he is trying to be friendly, to me, it goes against a norm.  You dont talk to people at the gym while they are working out.  I have been in this situation, and like you, am reserved and dont want to hurt anyones feelings. Even though it might seem mean, I would probably turn my head or look down when I saw that person and turn up my headphones to pretend like I dont see or hear them...hoping they would get the hint... If he started to tap me that is when I would get verbal and say "Please dont touch me" and  I would look offended. This way he maybe would feel awkward and maybe not speak to you anymore. 

I guess a different option would be to switch the days and times you go to the gym. Or go to a different branch of your gym (if your membership allows for that)

Hope this could help you.

 I HATE when people do this! I'm not very assertive either, so I'd probably do this and turn up my headphones and ignore him completely. I don't mind if its a friend that went with me - but I still get a better work out if I'm left alone with my tunes.

Hmmm, I tend to disagree with people here about saying anything.  I think that'll just make it awkward for him/you... even if it is just a small confrontation.

What I'd do: keep your headphones in, and when he shouts 'hello' awknowledge him with a nod and a smile.  Then look straight ahead, and ignore him.  If he continues to try and talk to you, just shake your head and point to your headphones, and shout, 'sorry, it's hard to hear you!' but don't take your headphones out.  He'll get the point... which is: I don't want to hear you, so I'm not taking out my head phones.

Poor guy.  Just your very own Pepe le Peu :)

Original Post by tennisclaire:

I have my headphones in happy listening to my music and if the machine next to me is free he'll come on that one and shout HELLO until I pull my headphones out, then I just get random small talk for the remainder of my workout with him following my around every machine. 

THIS is rude- you are not.

I'm all about being friendly and nice... but that's crossing a line, in my mind at least.  If you are in the zone with your tunes, then you are obviously occupied.  Why on earth would someone think it's appropriate to force you to talk to them? 

Thanks for all the advise guys.  Alot of usefull tips here, my work collegues think I should report him to the gym staff but I was looking for an easier route. before it got too messy.

All the comments about mentioning my husband/boyfriend made me giggle because the other day he asked me if I was training for anything in particular and the devil that sits on my shoulder was telling me to say "yeah I'm toning up for my wedding" which is a blatant lie, but then I thought I might be temping fate and jinx anything that may happen with my boyfriend.

I can't change to a different branch of my gym because its just a little independent all the chain gyms round here (I'm in London) are too expensive.  But I like the book/magazine idea, it'll stop me watch the time go by on the machine too, and its clear that maybe I just need to be a bit blunter. This guy is always there, it doesn't seam to matter when i go, its literary his life.

I've just always been someone that will make myself incredibly uncomfortable before possibly offending other people, but sometimes you just got to tell it like it is and if you upset someone along the way then so be it, i guess.

thanks again for all your comments.

I had to laugh reading your post....because, there is a guy like that at my gym.  He makes his rounds seeking attention.  He isnt hitting on anyone in particular, we all just think he is really lonely and wants conversation.  The other day he interrupted my workout three seperate times. 

I try to be kind to the poor soul but I DO want to concentrate on my workout.  Be blunt but kind.

Original Post by tennisclaire:

All the comments about mentioning my husband/boyfriend made me giggle because the other day he asked me if I was training for anything in particular and the devil that sits on my shoulder was telling me to say "yeah I'm toning up for my wedding" which is a blatant lie, but then I thought I might be temping fate and jinx anything that may happen with my boyfriend.

 there.  that's your out.  start rambling about your boyfriend in excess.  that should work. 

and if it doesn't...tell him that you need your music during your workouts, and that you prefer to workout alone.

Personally, I think it's rude when someone interrupts your workout for small talk. The time to approach someone is when they are switching machines or getting water. Otherwise, leave. people. alone.

I like the idea of not taking off your headphones, but still acknowledging him with a smile and a nod. If this doesn't work, say you are pressed for time and don't have time to chat. Let him know that you have other things to do than to mingle in the gym.

Some guys don't know how to take a hint. Next time he bothers you give him some serious attitude and go to another machine. If that doesn't work just tell him you're not interested and if he doesn't stop following you around you're going to complain to the management. They will probablly kick him out.

I am like you, and have a hard time being "blunt".....so, when I need to (like in your situation) I pretend I am someone else I know that would say it....and then I get brave and get it over with......(I know...I am a little weird)

Unfortunately, some guys think that as long as a girl is talking to them, they have a chance.  You're going to have to flat out refuse to talk to him.  Get up and go to another machine.  If he follows you to another machine, say, "Please stop following me.  It's creepy."

I'm with the honkinator! I would ask him to back off and if he continues definately tell management. Or maybe even consider moving your schedule around a little bit so you dont see him all the time. I had a guy do that to me when I was walking down the street once. Just up and pulled over stopping traffic... it was weird.