What would you have said? (to a rude grocery store clerk)

I went to a local grocery store to buy a quick lunch.  Ended up buying some fresh fruit and a Lean Cuisine.  The man at the checkout actually said this to me:  "Good choice.  Better than what you could have gotten at the other end of the store" (and he gestured toward the bakery).

I'm wondering if I'm being paranoid or was he making a remark about my weight?  (I'm 50+ lbs overweight).   Would he have said this to a thin person? (I doubt it!) 

Have you ever experienced this type of behavior from clerks about what you buy?  What would you have said in response? 

I think that if you are a larger person in our thin-obsessed society, you have dealt with so many rude comments and mocking that it is hard to not be paranoid.

I used to take offence at many things that may or may not have been intended rudely (and in some cses may not have even had anything to do with me). While I am still sensitive to it, I no longer assume people are being mean about my weight. And oddly...I haven't had any rude comments in a few years, if I think about it. Maybe it's because i made a choice to NOT assume the worst in situations like yours..personally I would have just smiled and said thanks. He was complimenting your choice, period. Forget the possible subtext...it's a useless endeavor!

Okay, I seriously think that the guy was not being mean or rude.  It was a better choice than what you could have gotten.  I worked at a grocery store as a cashier for 8 months and oh my god... you would have no idea.  Yes, what you bought was amazing compared to what most people get.  Trust me, there is a reason that we are all overweight.  I may have said it to you or to someone that was rail thin, it wouldn't have mattered to me.  To see someone actually buying something healthy or low in fat used to make me sooo happy.  Please, please do not think that this guy was saying that to you because you are overweight because it was probably a relief to see someone not loading their cart with crap.  Damn, from a former grocery cashier, excellent!  Good job walking past all of the crap for something good for you!  YES!  THANKS!

I probably would have agreed with him. It sounds like he was just making an observation (possibly just making small-talk & at the same time venting over the unhealthy foods in the Bakery). I am the Frozen Food Manager at a local grocery store and I can certainly agree with the cashier's sentiment. I do believe that he meant nothing by his comment, but I also believe that he would not have said it to a person who was not overweight. I'm sure running a cash register ran be rather tedious & boring and he just wanted to start a conversation...a lot of the cashier's I run into are rude, immature and won't stop talking to a fellow worker long enough to acknowledge me.

Just keep smiling.

Original Post by javagen3:

I disagree with most of the comments here I think. In general, it is extremely rude for a grocery store clerk to make any unsolcited remarks on the items that you are buying, unless you specifically asked for advice or help-- and you would typically do that in the back of the store, say at the meat counter or some other specialty area. Excepting I suppose if the clerk noticed a bunch of mold on your bread selection, then that might be an appropriate reason to comment and offer to grab another loaf.  

I'm with javagen3. A lot of clerks comment on how healthy my purchases are and it still makes me uncomfortable. Buying food and other items is sort of a personal thing for me and a piece of my private life feels exposed. Sort of silly, but that's me.

A sandwich artist use to comment on how hungry I must be based on what I ordered. "Oh, you must be hungry today", or "not very hungry today are ya." Sometimes the crew would bet on what I'd order when they'd see me pull up. I stopped going there because of it. It's just kind of weird to have a stranger comment on my food.

I don't mind their comments.  I know how boring it is for them to stand there, so I'll strike up a conversation with them.  Often times when I do that they'll help me out with sale items I missed "You know this is on sale today, buy one get one free."  And if their comment is questionable, I choose to assume the best and let the rest go...  It's easier on me that way. 

Safiyah

Original Post by cinzia2008:

I went to a local grocery store to buy a quick lunch.  Ended up buying some fresh fruit and a Lean Cuisine.  The man at the checkout actually said this to me:  "Good choice.  Better than what you could have gotten at the other end of the store" (and he gestured toward the bakery).

I'm wondering if I'm being paranoid or was he making a remark about my weight?  (I'm 50+ lbs overweight).   Would he have said this to a thin person? (I doubt it!) 

Have you ever experienced this type of behavior from clerks about what you buy?  What would you have said in response? 

 

making conversation?  yes... probably even flirting

I would have probably said something like, "Yeah well I'd rather have cheesecake but this is good too."  It really doesn't sound like he was putting you down.  It sounds to me like he was just making conversation.  Pehaps he was just checking out someone who had a load of junk food and he's a health food person, or maybe he was just bored.  I worked as a cashier at Wal-Mart for a brief period and I usually struck up conversations with the customers.  It made for better customer service in my opinion and the customers seemed to like it.  I know that it's easy to get super sensitive about your weight and can feel like everyone is looking at you.  I once waited on a guy who was telling me about how he lost a huge amount of weight on Slim Fast.  I was surprised to hear that because I didn't think anyone could stay on it long enough to lose a large amount.  The most I've ever lost was 5-10 pounds before I couldn't take it any longer.  Anyway he said that he combined Slim Fast with exercise to lose it. Then he said something the effect that I probably saw him running and laughed at the fat guy running.  I assured him that I would never have done that and it was true. 

The moral of my story is that it can get really boring to scan items for 8 hours a day and it makes it a lot more pleasant if you can chat with the customers while you work.  I think that was probably what he was doing.  I wouldn't sweat it.

Pam

Well yes, there is nothing wrong with chatting with customers. But the conversation should really stick to the weather or other neutral subjects unless the customer asks for advice. I don't think this is just about sensitivity to weight issues-- it could be about anything. What if you happen to be buying a bunch of maxi-pads and a bottle of Midol and the clerk said something about that? How about say, a box of condoms? A container of laxative? It is just so inappropriate for clerks to make comments on what you are buying, again unless you ask, or say an item is moldy or leaking and they offer to get you another one-- even then, they shouldn't comment about the merits of said product. You can bet I'd drill that into my employees if I were a store manager.

I think youre way off. He was probably impressed at your ability to get something healthy when the bakery was right there and trying to congratulate you. As someone who works in a similar position I know how hard it can be to try to make conversation with the customer. Maybe hes dieting too? =]

There are so many times that I've made a comment and right after it came out thought...oops, that came out totally wrong.  Give the guy the benefit of the doubt and even if he was being mean, it doesn't do the inner you any good to lash out.  I always think that a sense of humor helps.  I had a situation with a convenience store clerk who said something similar about my choice of a piece of string cheese and a fruit cup.  I told him he better clear the store cause I'd be back for the cheesecake and diet coke later and I might be dangerous with all the deprivation.  He looked shocked and then cracked a smile.  Now, he's always nice and smiles and says "hi" when I come in.  I don't know if he was being mean or not but it really doesn't matter at this point.  

he wasnt trying to be rude, he was probably trying to be encouraging.  Some people are just awkward about it.  and he was right, it was a better choice. 

he probably sees a lot of people buying junk at the bakery and was surprised to see someone making a healthy choice... I might have made the same comment or something like that if I sold donuts or chicken poppers all day then finally someone decided to buy fruit instead just because... Maybe he's just health-conscious?

Oddly enough, something similar happened to me today when I went grocery shopping! The manager had come up to me, asked if i needed help finding something, and I politely said no thanks. Then maybe like 5 minutes later he saw me picking up some light string cheese, looked into my basket and said "Why are you buying so much light stuff? Can't we tempt you with any of the good stuff?" I basically just said that I was doing what I had to do... but it was so weird! I didn't really take offense to it, I just thought that it was a bit strange... especially when he ran up to the checkout to bag my items and told the cashier, "You'll have to lookout for this one, she's a firecracker!" For the record I'm also pretty overweight at 5'10, 212, so I wasn't sure how to take it at first either.

Original Post by javagen3:

Well yes, there is nothing wrong with chatting with customers. But the conversation should really stick to the weather or other neutral subjects unless the customer asks for advice. I don't think this is just about sensitivity to weight issues-- it could be about anything. What if you happen to be buying a bunch of maxi-pads and a bottle of Midol and the clerk said something about that? How about say, a box of condoms? A container of laxative? It is just so inappropriate for clerks to make comments on what you are buying, again unless you ask, or say an item is moldy or leaking and they offer to get you another one-- even then, they shouldn't comment about the merits of said product. You can bet I'd drill that into my employees if I were a store manager.

 

 javagen, I think you hit the nail on the nose!  This may have been a big reason I felt so uncomfortable.  Whether he was just trying to make conversation or not, I really don't need a stranger commenting on my food choices.  This is probably why when I buy feminine products I look for a female clerk.  At any rate, you are right - it is inappropriate.  Clerks can always talk about something else other than what we are buying.  Thanks for the comments!     

My question about whether I was being paranoid or not has lead to a great discussion.  Thanks everyone for your comments! 

Original Post by bettypage4:

You never know with comments like this.  Did he sneer?  What was his tone?

I guess I would have thought that he was just trying to make conversation.  He probably sees people buy junk food for themselves and their entire families all day long.  It was probably nice to see someone who actually cares about her body. 

Thanks for bringing this up.  His tone of voice was a factor in my thinking of him as being rude.  But perhaps what I thought was a sneer was actually coming from being tired - or like someone else on here said - the tediousness of the job.  At any rate, I am glad I asked - and I appreciate reading different people's take on this subject! 

Original Post by margo66:

There are so many times that I've made a comment and right after it came out thought...oops, that came out totally wrong.  Give the guy the benefit of the doubt and even if he was being mean, it doesn't do the inner you any good to lash out.  I always think that a sense of humor helps.  I had a situation with a convenience store clerk who said something similar about my choice of a piece of string cheese and a fruit cup.  I told him he better clear the store cause I'd be back for the cheesecake and diet coke later and I might be dangerous with all the deprivation.  He looked shocked and then cracked a smile.  Now, he's always nice and smiles and says "hi" when I come in.  I don't know if he was being mean or not but it really doesn't matter at this point.  

I love that comeback!  Thank you for bringing a sense of humor into this - because God knows I need it.  I suppose my question stems from being made fun of by other people when it was much more obvious.  So part of it is a self consciousness.  And when the clerk said that to me I just laughed and said yes.  But it would be great to say something funny like you did.  Thanks! 

are we seriously still masticating this clerk?  he'd probably been standing there at that till for mind-numbing hours trying to make conversation with people he had absolutely no interest in talking to.  what do you talk about when you're a grocery store clerk and you have to make conversation with several hundred customers a day?  when you get really, really tired, you comment on their food choices.

Original Post by pgeorgian:

are we seriously still masticating this clerk?  he'd probably been standing there at that till for mind-numbing hours trying to make conversation with people he had absolutely no interest in talking to.  what do you talk about when you're a grocery store clerk and you have to make conversation with several hundred customers a day?  when you get really, really tired, you comment on their food choices.

To pgeorgian, Why are you back here 'masticating" this clerk?  I already got your point way back when I first posted this thread.  You might be a tiny bit overweight, but you have never been fat enough to have been made fun of, the way I have.  So it is normal for me to wonder when someone might be making a comment about my weight. Perhaps instead of worrying about the clerk, you could have some empathy for how I was feeling at the time.  And if you are tired of the topic, please feel free to comment on another topic elsewhere.    Thanks!